Between lines

Xu Shaohua sat up, looked at Chen Tingbai, he returned to his superior look, if his eyes were not a little red, Xu Shaohua would have thought that tear just now was just his illusion.

The expression on Chen Tingbai's face was still ugly, Xu Shaohua didn't dare to look directly into Chen Tingbai's eyes, he didn't understand what the phrase "I know everything" meant, and he didn't want to think deeply.

He wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he was afraid that the smell of the cigarette would choke Chen Tingbai, so he stood up, went to open the window, picked up his shirt, touched the cigarette out and lit one.

Chen Tingbai didn't want to look at him, closed his eyes and turned his head to one side.He felt that what he said was clear enough, whether it was expressing love or expressing his anger.

The wind blew in from outside the window, Chen Tingbai felt that he was still very hot, so he lazily raised his hand and waved it in mid-air, "If you want to smoke, get out."

The paralyzed man is always cloudy and cloudy. One moment he was soft and wrapped around Xu Shaohua like a piece of velvet, and the next moment he was as hard and cold as a piece of iron.

Half of the cigarette entered into the lungs with the cold wind, Xu Shaohua took advantage of Chen Tingbai's inattention, and threw the remaining half of the cigarette into the yard, the cigarette butt hit the banana leaf and fell into the half-wet mud.

He finally said, "Do you know what is the most expensive thing when I come here from college, besides the house I bought with frugality after work?"

Speaking of this, Xu Shaohua looked at Chen Tingbai, saw that he was still pretending to be sleeping with his eyes closed, and continued, "It's your word. I was just an intern at that time, and one day I went on a date with my boyfriend , I like it with him, but he knows better... so he likes it more. He insisted on buying it, saying that he wanted to hang it in my rental house. But when it came time to pay, it cost more than 1 yuan. I pooled it with him. All the money on my body is not enough. In the end, my boyfriend swiped his card, and we took him away. I have never listed it out in these years. I’m very vulgar. It’s a waste of money to use it as a decoration. But look at you, you don’t care about what you wrote and sold it to. To you, more than 1 is not a concern at all. Including up to now, I have never worried about money when I am paralyzed or disabled.”

Chen Tingbai opened his eyes and looked at him, his body was stiff, he didn't know how to answer what Xu Shaohua said, and of course Xu Shaohua didn't need him to answer.

"So I was really perfunctory about the questions you asked me about whether I like it or not. I don't know how to appreciate it, let alone like it. But if you ask me if that word is important, it is indeed important to me. Most importantly At first I knew that you were the one who passed the wind, and I was very guilty and sorry. But you are too kind to me, whether you like it or not, if I say I like it, you will definitely feel that I am perfunctory to you. But I will try, Trying to take care of you, trying to like you."

Since perfunctory is useless, we can only tell the truth.

Now that things have happened, Xu Shaohua doesn't care about face anymore.

Chen Tingbai watched Xu Shaohua smoking, and suddenly wanted to smoke one himself, so he asked Xu Shaohua to help him up and sit still.Seeing that Chen Tingbai was still naked, Xu Shaohua was afraid that Chen Tingbai would get sick again, so he wanted to pull up the quilt and cover him up.Chen Tingbai said, "Don't bother, it's not cold. It's your cigarette, can you give me one?"

Xu Shaohua was not particularly worried that Chen Tingbai would get sick. He was more concerned about Chen Tingbai's paralyzed body.This body is obviously thin and only covered with a layer of skin, but there is a layer of soft flesh on the belly, which is extremely uncoordinated.

He couldn't bear to look any longer, so he covered Chen Tingbai with the quilt and handed Chen Tingbai a cigarette. "Do you... smoke too?" What he wanted to ask was if you could smoke.

Chen Tingbai took the cigarettes skillfully, he didn't need to answer at all, and he could tell that he was a smoker, but Chen Tingbai still answered Xu Shaohua patiently: "Don't worry about smoking once in a while, a few cigarettes once in a while." Nothing will happen."

Chen Tingbai didn't cherish his life so much. If his heart and lung function were not as good as before, he might not be able to stop tonight with a single cigarette.

The cigarette ash was getting longer and was about to fall down. Chen Tingbai realized that there was not even an ashtray for popping the cigarette ash. He looked down at the handful of cigarette ash on the ground, frowned, and asked Xu Shaohua to go out and use a paper cup to touch it. water comes in.

Xu Shaohua thought that Chen Tingbai was thirsty, so he took half a glass of water and brought it in, only to realize that Chen Tingbai flicked cigarette ash into the paper cup.Ah sneered, and said an inaudible "poor and exquisite" from the bottom of his mouth, but still bent down and wiped the pinch of cigarette ash on the ground with a paper towel.

The two were intimate before, Xu Shaohua was not wearing a shirt, and his firm and clean upper body glowed healthy under the lamp, which made Chen Tingbai take another puff of cigarette.

"I have also been in love before. He is the guitarist of my band. We met a long time ago. He and I learned to write under the same teacher and learn musical instruments in the same piano shop. When I wanted to form a band , he was also the first to promise me." Chen Tingbai said slowly.

He leaned back again as he said this, as if reminiscing about a previous time, and then fell silent again.

"And then?" Xu Shaohua waited for a long time, and couldn't help asking Chen Tingbai.

"Then we broke up, and then I had a car accident, and he broke up with me." Chen Tingbai thought that his ex's step back should be a breakup.

Recalling the past, Chen Tingbai was no longer so cold, but instead showed a faint dejected and self-deprecating look.

"Actually, even if he doesn't mention it, I will break up with him. He is great. Rather than bore him for taking care of me in the end, it's better to stop here."

Chen Tingbai threw the cigarette butt into the paper cup, and continued: "I am telling you this today, not to confess to each other, to exchange and tell each other's love history, I believe you are not either. What I want to tell you is that, as you said Said, I never worry about money, you don't have to try to take care of me, taking care of me is not something you have to do, never, you have to do..."

What you have to do is to like me, like me without any perfunctory or deception.

This is what Chen Tingbai wanted to tell Xu Shaohua, but when the words came to his lips, he felt that there was no need to say them.

It was raining patter outside, and the wind suddenly blew so hard that the windows of the rest room were slammed shut.

Xu Shaohua threw the paper cup into the trash can, put on his clothes, and told Chen Tingbai: "Let me think about it, and you should think about it too."

Chen Tingbai only said a good word, and watched Xu Shaohua leave the room.

After a few minutes, Xu Shaohua came in again, laid Chen Tingbai down, and left again.

"Be careful on the way home." After Chen Tingbai said to Xu Shaohua before he went out, he stopped looking at him.The rain outside the window came and went quickly, and he shouldn't get too much rain when he comes home.

Chen Tingbai fell asleep in the sound of the rain, and it was not until Hu Cong came the next day that he put his exposed arms under the quilt.

The next day, Xu Shaohua was late, and before leaving the house, he rinsed his mouth twice again. When he got downstairs, he went to a convenience store and bought a small tube of breath freshener before going upstairs.

A gossip colleague asked him who was the man in the wheelchair last night, and he answered casually that he was a friend.

It's a friend.

The colleague asked again, where did he go after last night.

It was rare for him to get angry, and asked if he could stop asking around all day long.