bird under the eaves

This call must be made. Xu Yan looked out the window at three o'clock in the morning, holding the mobile phone in his hand, and next to his ear was Director Xu who asked him during the Chinese New Year this year: "Or you are also gay at all, Xu Yan."

When Director Xu calls him, he always uses his first and last name, and so does Xu's mother. Maybe it's because both of them are teachers, so the atmosphere of their home is always like a school. He is a student of the two, not a teacher. son.Occasionally, Xu Yan even felt that even they would listen to their own opinions because they regarded themselves as students, and teachers must listen to the opinions of students, and then discuss them seriously, seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and draw results.

It's like having a teacher's conference at school.

Liang Yisheng just arrived in Hengdian, and sent a WeChat message to report his safety, but there was no other news after that.Thinking about it, even if such a big incident happened at three o'clock in the morning, he would meet with the agent immediately to solve the problem. Xu Yan didn't bother too much, and said good night.

After that, I fell asleep in a daze, and dreamed that I liked Liang Yisheng when I was in high school, and skipped class to chase the scene of Liang Yisheng.The scene was always full of colorful cheers and cheers. He was squeezed in the middle of the crowd, unable to move, and could only see the heads. He heard the piercing screams called Liang Yisheng's name. gone.Then suddenly at this moment there was no one around, no fans let alone Liang Yisheng, he squatted in a pure white place, very big and empty, he couldn't see anything, he couldn't hear anything.

At five o'clock in the morning Xu Yan woke up from his dream, and the white flowers in front of his eyes suddenly seemed to be in a dream.He opened his eyes and stared at the chandelier on the ceiling for a while, only to realize that he had such a dream because he accidentally fell asleep and forgot to turn off the light, and was dazzled.

Xu Yan picked up the phone and glanced at it. At 06:30, Director Xu was about to wake up.Senior high school students have to go to morning self-study at 06:30 in the morning. He has to sit down in his class at 10:05 and drive to school for 30 minutes. It takes half an hour to smoke two cigarettes and eat breakfast in the morning, so as not to be late. Director Xu will get up from [-]:[-] to [-]:[-].

In summer, the sun rises very early, and the sun rises after five o'clock, and the sun is already bright.Xu Yan didn't close the curtains before going to bed last night, and the mild but mild sun shone in a little in the morning, as if the days were peaceful.

He wasn't sure if Director Xu was going to school today. Although it was summer vacation, high school seniors couldn't take that long summer vacation.Unable to fall asleep either, Xu Yan turned off the air conditioner in the room, opened the window and let the wind blow for a while.It's only six o'clock in the morning, and it's not very hot yet, and the natural wind can feel very refreshing.

The outgoing call is picked up after only ringing twice, and the mobile phone will vibrate the moment the other party connects to the call. This vibration should have been taken for granted or even ignored by people who have used smart phones for many years, but now in many In his hand, the vibration made his fingertips numb.

"...Director Xu." Xu Yan said three words, and didn't know whether to ask "Are you awake" or "Are you going to class today", so he could only keep silent and wait for the other party to answer.

"The third year of high school will start next week. If you go home these few days, your mother and I will wait for you at home." Said the other side.

"I have a lot of things to do these days, and a new play will start soon..."

"There's no need for filming." Director Xu interrupted Xu Yan, his tone calm, and he repeated it as if Xu Yan didn't hear clearly, "There is no need for filming. When you come back, meet your little daughter of Uncle Liu first. You can look for a job after the matter is settled."

Xu Yan didn't speak for a long time, and Director Xu was waiting for him patiently.At such a time, Director Xu showed his absolute demeanor again, and he would not be relentless and press every step of the way. It was exactly the same as when he usually lectured the students. He logically listed out what problems you have and how to correct them. After speaking, you will know Give students some time to digest what they just said, be very patient.

But Xu Yan thought about many situations. He thought that Director Xu might ask him seriously what happened; he thought that Director Xu would argue with him or even scold him; he also thought about whether Director Xu would feel sad. I feel that he is abnormal, or feel that the way of education from childhood is sorry for him and made him like this.

The only thing I didn't think was that Director Xu didn't mention this matter at all, as if nothing happened, Xu Yan disappeared out of thin air in the past few years, he had never been in the entertainment industry, he didn't know Liang Yisheng, and he didn't alarm his family because of a photo.Xu Yan thought of many ways to deal with it, but none of them are available at this moment.

"Dad, I won't meet Uncle Liu's daughter." Xu Yan said.

"I'll book a flight ticket for you, so you don't need to trouble your assistant, and you won't need an assistant in the future," said the other side.

"Dad." Xu Yan took a breath, "I will not go home, nor will I meet Uncle Liu's daughter."

This may be the first time in more than ten years that Director Xu was called "Dad". I don't know how Director Xu felt when he heard it, but it only got silence on both sides.The day in Beijing starts very early, but Xu Yan slept in his suburban house last night, and it was still very quiet outside.

It took a long time before Director Xu asked him, his voice trembling as if he could no longer suppress his anger: "Xu Yan, that kind of photo was posted on the Internet and was seen by people all over the country. Do you still feel ashamed? Your parents are teachers. Yes, propriety, righteousness and shame! Propriety, righteousness and shame! How can we stand on the podium to teach and educate people, and how can we tell our students the words of propriety, righteousness and shame! Your mother told me in the morning that to cultivate others is to cultivate oneself first, and she didn’t even teach her own children well. , how can you teach other people's children?!"

Take a hit.

Xu Yan was stunned by Director Xu's words. He grabbed the phone and opened his mouth several times in a daze, but he couldn't speak in the end.He spent almost an hour building up his confidence before calling Director Xu that he had done nothing wrong, that he was gay, not a lewd criminal.

But I didn’t expect Director Xu’s every word to be serious. Xu Yan even imagined how much Mother Xu loves a teacher who loves students. She stood on the podium and saw the students she had taught for a year. It's "Have my students seen the photo of my son, what do they think of Xu Yan, and what do they think of me".

Xu Yan couldn't speak, but felt confused and sad. He still felt that he had done nothing wrong, but he seemed to have done many things wrong.Who will pay for the current situation?Who will pay for the pain of his parents?

If he hated his parents enough, hated them for depriving him of a lot of fun since he was a child, and letting him live in a strong and airtight cage in the name of "protection", at this moment he can say "so for you Do I have to sacrifice my own life for the 'propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame'?" But Xu Yan doesn't hate them at all, he knows that what is under the title of "protection" is not the desire to control, but love.

The keychain that Liang Yisheng bought at the boxing gym was placed on the table by Xu Yan, in the most conspicuous position, where he could see it just by turning his eyes around.Xu Yan looked at it, red and black boxing gloves, these two colors are inexplicably reminiscent of courage and firmness.

Xu Yan knew that he was that kind of person. He was kidnapped by "filial piety" since he was a child. He felt that his life had to be responsible to many people. Aunt Gu Ba has been indoctrinated with "the theory of being worthy" since she was in elementary school, and has been instilled until now.He has everything in his life, except himself, except for the matter of "I want to live happily".

Liang Yisheng was completely different from him.

Liang Yisheng called Song Zi by her name directly, he wanted to enter the entertainment industry and Song Zi disagreed, Liang Yisheng simply ignored the advice of his actress mother, forced his way in, and then smiled and said that he didn't take her heat.This person is so yearning for Xu Yan, even Xu Yan finds it unbelievable. In the depths, in Xu Yan's distorted "values", Liang Yisheng is selfish - how can someone live only for his own happiness?

Xu Yan licked his lips, trying to smooth out the uneasiness in his heart: "Dad, maybe I am such a person... I want to live this kind of life, I want to be seen by others, I want to live a special life, I want to..."

"Why were you like this before? You used to be obedient and sensible. When you were in school, how many teachers told me that Xu Yan, your family, was the most worry-free?! You never thought of doing anything out of the ordinary, you were in the entertainment circle Taught you badly! Hanging out with that homosexual! What do you want to be seen, just see this kind of photo?"

"You said that virtue cultivates people, what kind of virtue is established, and what kind of person is cultivated? Do you think being obedient and sensible is the greatest achievement in my life, or standing on the podium is the greatest achievement in my life?"

After a pause for a few seconds, Xu Yan heard Xu's mother's voice: "Don't speak so loudly, what can't you talk about? Give me the phone and I'll tell him, don't talk if you two can't go together. .”

Xu Yan can almost imagine Director Xu's frowning expression: "Don't worry about it, I'll talk to him about this matter."

"What are you talking about? You are stubborn. If you tell him well, won't he listen? You are not doing well, and Xu Yan is not doing well, is he relaxed? Don't use your way of educating students against your son. I!"

The call was hung up in confusion at last, and the sun still hadn't poked his head out from the tall buildings.Xu Yan refused to go home to meet Liu Bo's daughter, and Director Xu went outside to smoke under the obstruction of Xu's mother.

"You know your dad's temper. He just thinks that you were wronged as an actor and loves you. He insists on you come back and find a job for An Sheng. The good words from his mouth will change." Xu's mother fell silent after saying this. After a while, he finally said, "You go home, okay? We don't want you to be very promising. It's okay if you don't like Uncle Liu's daughter. Mom will introduce you to other girls. As long as you come back, I will rely on you in everything."

Lide cultivates people.

Xu Yan went downstairs to buy a pack of cigarettes. There was a kind of thick peppermint cigarettes in the convenience store.He stood by the window and lit one, and when he smoked it, he found that it was much stronger than the one Cheng Xinlu had given him.He remembered Wei Yuan's inner monologue in the script when he was filming "Yin", saying, "Many writers like to use writing as an excuse to get addicted to cigarettes, saying that they can't write anything if they don't smoke two cigarettes, and they can't calm down. He used to always I think those are excuses for poor self-control, and now he tentatively agrees that if he is upset to a certain extent, the calming effect of tobacco is like drug addiction, which makes people obsessed with him."

Xu's mother must have cried when she said the last sentence. This has never happened in his family. Even when he suddenly said that he wanted to be an actor, he was not as confused as he is now—the angry father and A tearful mother.

But unfortunately, Xu Yan felt that he was upset to a certain extent, maybe even more upset than Wei Yuan in the script, but the tobacco didn't calm him down, let alone fascinate him.He repeatedly looked at the time——

Seven o'clock, seven twenty-two, seven thirty-one, seven thirty-seven, seven thirty-eight...

His WeChat finally rang with a "ding dong"——

“How did you sleep”

Xu Yan suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, as if he had been trying to hold on just now, and there was a huge sandbag in front of him. He was wearing red and black boxing gloves, and he was still forcing himself to swing his fist exhausted.

Now he was finally able to take off his gloves and replied to Liang Yisheng: "Good morning, I slept well, how about you?"