Oral period

"Do you know why I repeat it?"

In fact, it was not time for dinner, but Zhen Xiao complained that the sun was too strong, and wanted to eat something cold to relieve the heat, so Xia Jingzhe brought them to this dessert shop that they often come to. No name but delicious cakes.

It happened that the store was quiet in the afternoon, and the two of them were alone in the small box, so that the slightly heavy topic could be safely placed.

Xia Jingzhe heard the words, the hand that sliced ​​the ice cream paused, and the thin metal spoon hit the edge of the bowl, making a low and crisp sound: "I don't know..."

I thought it was because of the unsatisfactory results in the college entrance examination, but now it seems that there may be something hidden.

The sun is in full bloom, softened by the antique window paper, and divided into irregular pieces by the carved window, falling on the wooden tabletop, illuminating the floating dust finely.The young man's fingers slid across a few fragments of light, stopped in the shadows, and tapped the table meaninglessly, making his words illusory and distant, like right and wrong in the world, coming from the mouth of a lonely soul.

"I missed the first college entrance examination because a few days before the exam, maybe three or four days, the class organized the last test... Mathematics, the full score is 140, I took the exam [-], deducted The two points are because I think there is a problem with that question, and there is no answer." Zhen Xiao raised his head, looked at him, and asked, "Is it pretty good?"

Even if it's not a problem with the test paper, but simply deducted two points for doing wrong questions, this score is already a level that many people can't reach - Xia Jingzhe nodded and said affirmatively: "Of course, I have never seen a living person in my life. 140 eight points."

"Yeah, I think so too," Zhenxiao seemed to smile, but the smile was very faint, more like extremely bitter helplessness, which changed when exposed to the sun, "but my mother is not satisfied, she I think two points is a perfect score, why can't I get it..."

"Then, the night she knew her grades, that is, the night before the college entrance examination, she collapsed."

Xia Jingzhe was taken aback for a moment, doubting her ears: "What do you mean?"

"She has some mental problems, I have always known," Zhen Xiao pulled the corners of his mouth inexplicably, and put a large spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, frowning from the ice-it seemed that through such a simple action, he never I managed to get out of the heavy emotions, regained my usual indifference, and wrote lightly, "I just thought it was bearable, so I didn't send her to the hospital—my father passed away very early, and there was no one to take care of her in the hospital." she."

"so……"

"That night, she was crying and cursing as usual, talking about me for hours, saying that she gave me all her efforts, was disappointed in me, etc... The next day is the college entrance examination, I want to rest earlier, so The first time she talked back—well, she did it, smashed it with an ashtray, glass."

The young man raised his hair on his forehead, exposing the gauze stickers underneath, and smiled self-deprecatingly: "There was a lot of trouble at the time, because the neighbors heard her hysterical voice and called the police... She was admitted to a mental hospital, and I also I lay in the hospital for half a month, but it wasn’t that serious at first, I had a few stitches, and it was already healed when I was discharged from the hospital, but…”

"Get out of here! Get out of here—"

"I've worked so hard to support you for more than ten years, ah! How can you repay me and send me to a mental hospital! I'm not crazy! I'm your own mother..."

"If I hadn't given birth to a monster like you..."

"My whole life——my whole life is ruined by you!"

The hysterical screaming of the woman continued, and the patients in the adjacent bed clapped their hands and watched the farce with childish behaviors that were not suitable for their age. The medical staff came in a hurry, but failed to stop the tragedy from happening...

The metal lunch box fell with the sound, and the still warm soup dripped down the hair, making people confuse the feeling of blood and foreign objects for a moment—the boy stood motionless, his eyes were indifferent, and there was a wound on his forehead, dripping shockingly. bleeding.

He looked at the strange hysterical smile on the woman's face, slowly raised his hand, and picked off a vegetable leaf stuck to his cheek, and the blood that flowed down formed into a stream, dripping along the outline of his distinct jawbone, and submerged into the black color of his shoulder. in the clothing.

The blood on his face faded quickly, and the moment he was pulled out of the ward by the nurse, he closed his eyes.

"At first I wanted to take a meal to see her, to make a settlement, but..." Zhen Xiao raised her hand in distress, stroked the gauze sticker on her forehead, and said softly, "She is too hostile to me. , I don’t know if it’s because of muscle memory or something, I gave it to me again with a lunch box, unbiased, and it’s still in the previous position—injuries added to injuries, and there may be some effects of burns, and it hasn’t healed until now.”

"At the end of August, it will be... more than ten days from now."

The string that has been deliberately ignored for a long time is finally plucked, making a long and rusty noise, and the song is over, and it returns to silence again.The young man lowered his eyelashes, deliberately grabbed his hair into a lock, and put it in place of the gauze sticker on his forehead. He picked up the spoon that had been left for a long time, stirred the ice cream that was about to melt, and pushed the strawberry that should have been decorated on the top into the bottom of the bowl.

Summer has already entered autumn, but the sky is still very dark, and the sun outside the window is only a little lighter than that in the afternoon. It is still more than enough to fall into this small box facing south, enough to pretend that this square inch of space is The meaning of warmth and warmth.

No one spoke, only the rustling of fabrics——Xia Jingzhe stood up, walked in front of him, stretched out his hand to stroke his hair while standing and sitting, and then wrapped his arms around his neck. Forced him slightly to lean against her, giving him a half hug.

In my memory, his childhood playmates also complained to him about his mother’s strictness. At that time, he would always hug each other like this—in a more intimate and unreserved posture, letting the cold and crying child grab his clothes , wiped all the tears on his body, crying in a muffled voice, revealing immature fragility.

If possible, he wouldn't mind hugging pillow like that... but the other party probably would.

The boy who was suddenly embraced by someone opened his eyes slightly, but he didn't resist. The hand hanging by his side froze for a moment, and finally lifted it slowly, holding the corner of the other's coat.

"It's nothing, it's all over." He heard his own voice, a little dull, "For me... it's a relief."

Freed from the long-term depressive and suffocating growth environment, life is no longer just study and mother's accusations and complaints. With a mobile phone, I can start to communicate with the outside world, and I no longer have to walk on eggshells for grades and worry about a little faulty mistake that will cause anger. Scolding—a scar in exchange for the freedom to see the sun again, might not be a relief.

It's just... a person like him who has accomplished nothing but studies, has no friends, is not good at socializing, and even lacks the most basic self-care ability. He even bears high review fees and has no source of income... Such a monster, really Do you need the so-called freedom?

"Please tell me the meaning of living alone" - a question that often haunts my mind, but I still haven't found the answer.

Xia Jingzhe is really not the type who is good at comforting people, and she can't say any good words to inspire people.He knew that the person in front of him was not as calm and calm as he said, but he didn't dare to speculate on the other person's difficulties rashly, and then said some self-righteous and high-sounding words of encouragement-it was useless, whether it was encouragement or comfort, for the real hu For a person trapped in the mud, even if the words of others are sincere, they will not have any real effect, and he knows it.

So, after deliberating for a long time, he finally failed to say any reassuring words such as "it's okay, everything will pass", he just touched Zhenxiao's hair carefully, and said softly: "The medical expenses before recovery, and other things I can pay for your food and living expenses first, and then you can pay me back when you find a job or are capable... Before you pay off, promise me to live a good life, okay?"

I don't know where to decipher the redundant information that he wants to die, not to mention whether their relationship can really last until the day he is able to repay it, it is too confident... Zhen Xiao was thinking aimlessly, but he didn't really think about it. He just closed his eyes, smelled the faint smell of laundry detergent on the other person, and nodded.

Even though they used the same bottle of laundry detergent, why did such a smell fall on Xia Jingzhe's body, so it was extremely reassuring.

He also thought of the day after school started, in the small clinic near the school, this man watched him hang up the glucose, his whole body shrank into the warm yellow light, it was so reassuring for no reason.

It's not that no one approached him, but it was the first one who was so purely nosy like Xia Jingzhe.

So of course, Xia Jingzhe was also the first person who was qualified to see his true nature.

only one.

He was born in a prison, surrounded by only silence and ice from beginning to end, so quiet that he didn't know what loneliness was, and he never thought of escaping.

But now he knows—someone approached his cage and broke the ice, allowing him to glimpse the bustling world, and realize that he is not alone, but numb for a long time, so numb that he only meets the other person, this kind of The long and endless loneliness was eliminated, and he was able to breathe a sigh of relief and touch the so-called long-overdue freedom and warmth.

The world is full of chaos, spring and Jingming are all related to one person.

The warm body temperature came from the other side of the fabric, and a steady heartbeat could be faintly heard—the weather was still warm, and the boy was only wearing a thin short-sleeved shirt, his waist was tough and firm, and it was thinner than it looked... …

Zhen Xiao lowered his eyes, and the hand holding the corner of the man's clothes shifted a little by a ghost, and suddenly pinched his waist.

"Hiss—what are you doing?!" The young man was startled, subconsciously took two steps back, met the other party's gaze, and was choked by the faint light in his eyes, and swallowed the second half of his curse.

The instigator's eyes curled up, as if he thought his reaction was very interesting, he picked up a piece of pastry that had been neglected for a long time, got up and stuffed it into his mouth: "Thank you."

Xia Jingzhe glared at him, unable to refuse the sweet and soft taste brought to his mouth, he pursed his lips and still opened his mouth to hold it——the sweet osmanthus scent was crushed on the tip of his tongue along with the sweet bean paste, making the sunlight in front of him also stained. There is a faint scent of cinnamon sticks.

The young man standing in the sun smiled softly and cunningly, his eyes shimmered with warmth like broken gold, and even the perennial coldness all over his body melted away.

Xia Jingzhe stared at him in a daze for a few seconds, then suddenly came back to his senses, quickly turned his gaze away, and heaved a sigh of relief -- he had enough energy to tease him, and he seemed to have returned to normal.

He couldn't help but curl the corners of his mouth, cursing secretly in the sweet and greasy pastry: childish.

Obviously one year older than him, but like a child, he is keen to play these childish little tricks, and he can be coaxed with a little sweetness...

The naive man sat back in his original position, put the strawberry covered with melted ice cream into his mouth, glanced at his waist, and commented meaningfully: "You are so sensitive."

"Just got taken aback."

"Is it... not ticklish?"

"No."

"...Don't stare at me like that!"

The author says:

Reasonable guess: Brother Zhen will soon master the method of winning his wife's sympathy, and use it in various soft occasions including but not limited to scratching people's itch after taking off late (I don't know how to write)