substitute actor

After returning from Yawan, work began to increase again. Yan Ge was busy until late every day, and fell asleep when he got home, but he was happy and fulfilled.

As the summer deepened and he changed into short sleeves, Yan Ge received a call from the prison, saying that something happened to his mother and he was sent to a nursing home.

When he arrived at the hospital, the nurse told him that his mother was in a very bad state of mind in the prison. Some time ago, she even had hallucinations, kept yelling that someone was going to beat her, and showed a slight tendency to attack.

Yan Ge knew that this was the shadow left by that dead bastard.

Pushing open the door of the ward, the mother sat on the bed, her eyes glazed over, trembling all over when she heard the sound of the switch, she looked over dully, her lips moved.

"Mom." Yan Ge called her softly.

When the woman with disheveled hair heard this address, her eyes lit up a little, and then she was tinged with fear, muttering incoherently, "He...he's coming again, he's going to hit me..."

With pain in his heart, Yan Ge leaned over and hugged his mother's thin body, comforting him in a low voice, "He won't come again, he is dead."

The woman huddled in Yan Ge's arms tremblingly, sobbing vaguely in her throat.

Yan Ge'an hugged her quietly, just like she hugged herself when she was a child.After a while, he heard his mother say something.

Slightly bowing his head, Yan Ge turned his head closer, and finally heard the words in his mother's mouth clearly.

"It's mom who's sorry for you, it's mom who hurt you..."

Startled for a moment, Yan Ge slowly let go of his arms, looked down at his mother, and smiled at the corner of his mouth, "No, you saved me."

If the mother hadn't been brave enough to resist that domestic violence bastard, more disasters would have come.

Yan Ge knew that the mother had always felt guilty for affecting her child's life. Although she seldom said anything, Yan Ge knew it all.

After going through so much suffering, he even felt that his father's death was one of the few good things in his life, and even compared to the gossip and suffering caused by it, he felt it was worth it.

When I came out of the nursing home, it started to rain. The continuous drizzle was not like summer, and it was quite sad.

Yan Ge didn't take a taxi, nor did he bring an umbrella, and walked slowly home in the rain.

He didn't even care if someone recognized him on the road, because he suddenly understood that what happened in his home could not be covered up no matter what, just like his mother's stress disorder, even if his father died, he left The shadow below will always hang over.

Can't break free, can't harbor longing.

Below the mountain, the sea in the distance was choppy, as if a storm was brewing. Yan Ge squatted on the side of the road, drenched in the rain, looking at the oppressive sky in the distance, but suddenly felt relieved.

If a tsunami engulfs the city, what are his worries, hesitations, and thoughts?

·

Walking through the intersection, Yan Ge looked up towards the house while touching the keys, but suddenly saw a figure sitting at the door.

Taking two steps forward, squinting his eyes to focus, Yan Ge's heart trembled, but he smiled unconsciously.

Jin Siyan sat on the steps playing with his mobile phone, looking very bored, raised his head from time to time, reached out to touch the potted plant next to him, then lowered his head, and continued to swipe on the screen.

Under the shadow in front of him, the man came back to his senses, raised his head slowly, and met Shang Yange's helpless smiling eyes.

"Get up, it's cold on the ground." Yan Ge stretched out his hand towards him.

Jin Siyan put his mobile phone in, held his hand, stood up from the ground with his strength, and complained in a low voice, "I've been waiting for you for a long time."

Yan Ge smiled, took out a small object from his pocket, and stuffed it into his hand.

Jin Siyan looked down, and there was a spare key lying in his palm. After reacting for a while, he realized that this person had given him the key of his house, and he was a little shocked.

"From now on, you can go in directly," Yan Ge pursed his lips, his ears felt a little hot, "It will be cold if you stay outside all the time."

In my impression, Jin Siyan waited outside his house many times, and every time he was blowing cold wind outside.

Holding Yan Ge's wrist with his backhand, Jin Siyan leaned over and smiled, "I won't be cold if you hug me."

After the words fell, Yan Ge really stretched out his hand and gave him a hug.

Jin Siyan didn't expect it, but suddenly felt that there seemed to be something wrong with this person today, so he stopped making fun of him, and raised his hand to hug him back.

After a while, Yan Ge said in a low voice, "I went to prison today."

Jin Siyan paused, "I know."

"You know?" Yan Ge looked at him.

Nodding his head, Jin Siyan said, "I'm sorry but I checked."

After finishing speaking, her complexion became a little gloomy, and she looked into Yan Ge's eyes, as if observing his reaction.

"What did you find?" Yan Ge asked.

"I've found everything." Jin Siyan said, scratching his hair in confusion, "Is this what you've been worried about?"

Yan Ge smiled faintly, but didn't speak, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Did your mother go to jail for all the things you encountered before?" Jin Siyan asked.

"Part of it." Yan Ge answered frankly, reaching out to open the door.

Part of it was because of his mother's imprisonment, and the other part was his own problems, which Yan Ge couldn't deny.

Cowardice, evasion, not wanting and not daring to desire, being content with the status quo, all of which are fatal, but the sudden disaster made him understand that he has no backing, in fact, it is himself who pushes him to the bottom of the valley.

"What a loss." Jin Siyan said suddenly.

"What?" Yan Ge was puzzled.

The man didn't follow Yan Ge in, but stood at the entrance, lowered his head slightly, looking thoughtful, "It's a shame."

"What's wrong?" Yan Ge asked.

Jin Siyan stood far away, with the corners of his eyes drooping slightly, as if he couldn't figure it out, and seemed to be guessing, he slowly raised his eyes, "Is that why you don't want to accept me?"

Yan Ge was stopped by the question and didn't speak for a long time.

"It's too bad." Jin Siyan said again, frowning slightly, "If you have no interest in me, then I can accept it, but if it's because of this reason, it's really not worth it to make you worry."

The man's tone was not high, and there was even some obvious softness, as if he was discussing or asking for his own opinion.Yan Ge sniffed and told the truth, "I'm really worried that being with you will bring you unnecessary trouble."

He can do whatever he wants, he can even be said to be an orphan now, even if he dies, he can't affect others.

But he was always worried that his existence would make Jin Siyan suffer criticism.

Even though he could tell that this person really liked him, and even though Jin Siyan had told him that their family's public relations were really good, Yan Ge still didn't dare to take the risk.

There are many things in his life that he didn't dare to do, most of his backbone and courage were spent on liking Jin Siyan, and he really didn't desire anything else.

Jin Siyan looked at him and sighed invisibly, "You are always worried about others."

"Would it really make you happy to wrong yourself and cater to other people's needs?" Jin Siyan's eyes were deep and complicated.

Yan Ge didn't speak, but looked down at the floor.

unhappy.How can you be happy.

It’s just that I have been suppressed for too long, and I am a little afraid to do things that can make me happy. I always feel that these happiness come with a high price.

"Yan Ge." Jin Siyan came closer, raised his face, and looked at him with his head down, "I know you are independent, strong, and don't need pity from others, but I really hope that even once, you can Treat me as your backbone, you believe in yourself, don't back down any more, okay?"

The palm attached to the skin was dry and warm, with a reassuring heat, and the sound of the heartbeat could even be heard through the skin. Yan Ge looked at him, his throat was extremely dry, before he opened his mouth, his eyes suddenly blurred, and there were no signs of tears fell down.

Jin Siyan paused, and was about to wipe it off for him with his finger, but was firmly pressed on the back of his hand, not allowing him to let go.

Yan Ge did not answer him with words, but proved everything with actions.

In the midsummer season, the sky after clearing is extraordinarily clear, with little cloud traces and just the right flaws.

Yan Ge nestled on the bed and didn't want to get off. Occasionally, he reached out to touch the phone, checked the time and put it back. After Jin Siyan took a shower, he only wore a towel and came out of the bathroom topless.

"Didn't you wash it?" Yan Ge asked in a daze. When he raised his head, the wet water dripped from the tip of Jin Siyan's hair, which was so sensational that he swallowed subconsciously.

"I don't mind washing it again." Jin Siyan said and was about to untie the towel on his waist.

Hurrying to press his hand, Yan Ge was not that honest and pushed him out. Jin Siyan just smiled sullenly, and did not continue to insist.

After drying his hair, Jin Siyan felt bored, and went to the study room. He wanted to find a book to read, but he took two steps forward, kicked something, and went under the bookshelf with a rustling sound.

Jin Siyan knelt on the ground and pulled out the thing he had just accidentally kicked in, and found that it was a red leather diary, half spread, and turned to one of the pages.

He didn't want to pry into Yan Ge's privacy, so he only glanced at it, but Jin Siyan paused.

He was too familiar with the photo above.

After hesitating for a moment, Jin Siyan stood up, blew the ashes on the book, leaned on the bookshelf, and hesitantly flipped through the contents.

He can't remember this photo very clearly. At the beginning, because of it, the whole school almost knew about it. He was found several times by the dean, and he vowed to help him find the murderer who tore up the photo. There was no news.

original……

Looking at the tightly pasted photos, Jin Siyan smiled absurdly.

It turned out that the murderer was here.

Flipping forward a few pages, Jin Siyan froze on the spot.

This book looks old, and some of the handwriting written by the ballpoint pen is beginning to smudge, but it is such a small book, at least half of it is a cut-out of myself.

There are printed photos, group photos of team building gatherings, and cut pages from newspapers that won awards.

Flipping through this "sneak photo album" in disbelief, Jin Siyan's mind was buzzing, he couldn't turn the corner for a long time, his breathing stopped, and he didn't even know there was someone standing at the door.

The next second, the things in his hand were snatched away. Jin Siyan looked up and saw Yan Ge's stiff expression. He closed the book in some embarrassment and stuffed it into the drawer.

"What's that?" Jin Siyan frowned slightly, tilted his head curiously, and followed Yan Ge's movements for a look.

Yan Ge was a little flustered, twirled his fingers, and said to him from left to right, "Are you hungry, let me go and make something?"

"I'm not hungry." Jin Siyan pulled him back, held Yan Ge's arm very forcefully, and locked him in the gap between the desk and his body, "I've seen it all."

"En." Yan Ge responded indiscriminately, without looking at him, his eyes fell aside guiltily.

"When did it happen?" Jin Siyan asked.

"High school." Yan Ge replied, feeling the hairs on his ears stand on end.

"High school?" Jin Siyan raised his eyebrows. He just thought the man's reaction was really interesting, and he got closer, "You started secretly taking pictures of me in high school?"

"..." Yan Ge stopped talking.

Jin Siyan leaned closer, and Yan Ge had to support the edge of the table with his backhand to maintain stability.

"Speak." Jin Siyan smiled.

Yan Ge finally turned his head to look at him, his tone pretending to be calm, "I told you, we met in high school, you don't remember."

"But you didn't say that." Jin Si extended his hand and tapped the drawer with his fingertips.

"...There's nothing to say." Yan Ge pulled the corner of his lips.

A young and casual crush, crazy and passionate, is like a burning fire, once it burns out, there is nothing left.

"No, no." Jin Siyan shook his head.

"What's wrong?" Yan Ge was puzzled.

"You can't have nothing left." Jin Siyan looked at him quite seriously, "Yan Ge, I don't want to leave nothing with you."

He lowered his head, almost sticking to Yan Ge's ear, his voice was low and deep, with indescribable feelings and desires, every word he paused made him hear clearly.

"I want to rekindle my old relationship with you."