Goodbye, Mr. Mu

At this moment, the wind outside the window, the moon in the sky, and the hustle and bustle of the world all quietly exit the world of the two of them.There is nothing else between them, and the distance is eliminated, just for the joy of the moment.

Let's taste tomorrow's suffering tomorrow, Mu Huaizhang hugged the person in his arms tightly, while he was still able to hug him.

After the clouds and the rain rested, Mu Huaizhang settled down the drowsy Chai Fei, who was already lying on his shoulder in a daze.Chai Fei is very obedient, lying on his side with his fingers slightly bent, even if he is asleep, he still remembers to leave some space for him.

Chai Fei hid in the bathroom and shed tears, thinking that Mu Huaizhang would not know.In fact, Mu Huaizhang saw everything about him. Faced with Chai Fei's demands, Mu Huaizhang knew that any retreat he had made would make Chai Fei even more painful.How could he not want him?It's just a struggle and torture in a dilemma.

Chai Fei's eager lips and need for proof finally broke through Mu Huaizhang's line of defense. He could only make himself as gentle as possible in order to bring the least burden to Chai Fei.

He asked him, "Do you still like me?"

Mu Huaizhang's tears burst out at that moment, but he bit his lip and didn't let Chai Fei know.

Mu Huaizhang loves Chaifei forever, and every day he loves Chaifei more than Mu Huaizhang did yesterday.

The night is dark tonight, the moonlight is not very bright, and the starlight is naturally dim, half-covered and half-covered so that people can't see it happily.Mu Huaizhang opened a gap in the window to diffuse the sluggishness in the room.He remembered that Chai Fei always liked to hold a cup of tea or coffee, stand at the window and look out, whether in the alley or at home.

Outside the window is the life of other people, what is there to see?Mu Huaizhang sometimes thinks this way.

But now, looking at the scattered people walking outside the window, he seemed to understand Chai Fei.

My life is already in a mess, but I have to wake up with a smile every morning, and then clean up the chaos of the war, pretending to be the usual way of ordinary people to play the lives of ordinary people.

In this way, it is really tiring.

So you always have to look at all the people who are tired, so you can continue to lie to yourself. Everyone is like this, so why are you different from others?

Chai Fei slept soundly, even with the joy of being exhausted on his face.Mu Huaizhang didn't feel sleepy, he closed the window and lay down facing Chai Fei.

Mu Huaizhang stared at his sleeping face for a long time, and described his appearance over and over again.

A sense of frustration and guilt that had never appeared in Mu Huaizhang's heart suddenly overwhelmed him.why?Why didn't he take good care of Chai Fei and made him sick?What went wrong?diet?Home improvement?Or living habits?

Almost like weeping blood, he picked out every little flaw in his life and criticized himself, wishing to overthrow himself from beginning to end, and knock him into the mud.However, none of this worked.The disease will not let Chaifei let him go because of his confession.

The next day came as usual, Chai Fei looked very happy, and even ate more breakfast than usual.The doctor was also very cooperative during the ward rounds, and told him to do bone surgery, but he just responded with a smile, and didn't even ask if it hurts.Instead, Mu Huaizhang chased him out and asked some precautions.

Before he came back, Chai Fei had done a lot of examinations, and the specific cause of the disease was basically determined, with a high probability of multiple myeloma.A malignant disease with a low cure rate and great suffering for patients.Now, hanging the unresolved sharp blade, there is only one extremely dangerous spider thread left, and that is the result of the bone piercing that is about to be done today.The two of them had a tacit understanding and stopped discussing this topic any more, as if the hysteria last night didn't happen, they just had a normal lingering one.Mu Huaizhang still told him some strange stories he encountered at work to amuse him, and asked the clerk in the alley to take a video of the old cat for him and send it over.

In the video, the old cat basked in the warm autumn sun, sleeping peacefully on its belly.It is always leisurely and leisurely, and the suffering in the world has nothing to do with it. It only uses its own compassion to save people in suffering, which is better than nothing.

In the afternoon, Chai Fei and Mu Huaizhang had an awkward quarrel, because Mu Huaizhang had asked the doctor and said that he could go in and accompany him, but Chai Fei insisted on going for the examination by himself, and Mu Huaizhang insisted on going in with him.

Chai Fei is easy-going by nature, and has never insisted on Mu Huaizhang like this. Of course, Mu Huaizhang has never insisted on disagreeing with Chai Fei.Chai Fei said that those children who do waist piercings do not let their parents go in to accompany them. He is not a child anymore, so naturally he can't let his parents accompany him. People will laugh at them.

He half-jokingly looked at Mu Huaizhang's face from the corner of his eyes, it was the cautiousness that made Mu Huaizhang feel distressed, and the dependence and worry that Tibet could not hide.

Mu Huaizhang naturally knew what Chai Fei was worried about. He disappeared for several days for no reason, just when Chai Fei needed him the most.Anyone who puts it there will guess whether Mu Huaizhang no longer cares about Chai Fei, let alone the sensitive and thoughtful client.

In fact, he doesn't care, he cares too much.Concerned about the chaos in the square inch, lost the rules.

"Then I always want to be closer to you, just outside the door, is it always okay?" Mu Huaizhang couldn't bear to force him anymore, so he had to settle for the next best thing, with a blatant expression on his face, "If you don't agree again , I really disagree."

Only then did Chai Fei let go, agreeing that Mu Huaizhang would change him into a coat with a tie on the back.Mu Huaizhang's hand slipped into the gap on the back of the coat, stroking his bony waist.Just imagining that a long needle will be pierced into the bone marrow here, Mu Huaizhang already began to feel distressed.But the little prince, who has always been afraid of pain, has to face the cold iron and the piercing pain alone.

He kissed the back of Chai Fei's neck, wrapped him in his arms, tried his best not to be so nervous, "You are so brave, it makes me look useless, then I will wait outside the door."

Chai Fei smiled, "Knowing that it will always pass, it won't be so difficult, isn't this what you taught me?"

"Well, yes, you are the best." Mu Huaizhang smiled calmly, but his heart was not as relaxed as his face, "it will pass," he said to himself.

--

At night, the two of them still huddled together on the same bed, facing each other and sleeping next to each other.Even though Chai Fei didn't complain about the pain, Mu Huaizhang couldn't be fooled by his pale face when he was pushed out, and the doctor told him to take care of him many times.Mu Huaizhang had no choice but to hide those worries and anxieties, and took care of his life carefully.

It took time for the bone marrow test results to come out. Mu Huaizhang asked a doctor he knew well to send him a message as soon as the results came out.

Even so, Mu Huaizhang never dared to look at his phone, not even turning on the screen to check the time.He was afraid of jumping out suddenly, and the news that appeared in front of his eyes announced that the result of the announcement was the breaking of the spider's thread.

Fear, however, cannot prevent the outcome from coming.

Just as Mu Huaizhang carefully grabbed Chai Fei's finger and was about to put it on his lips for a gentle kiss, the cell phone next to the pillow turned on.

"...diagnosed with IgG type multiple myeloma..."

Mu Huaizhang knew every word of this message, but he couldn't understand a single word.Only this last sentence, "Diagnosed, multiple myeloma."

With the last trace of luck, he went through the news, wanting to know that even if it is a malignant disease, if it is in the early stage, it can be regarded as God's favor.

But still not, God did not forgive his sins, and mercilessly sent him suffering, so naturally he failed to give him a sliver of redemption.

Soon the other party sent a second message, "In the medium term, it is recommended to adopt an active treatment method as soon as possible."

Mu Huaizhang stared, and replied numbly and stiffly, "Got it, thank you for your hard work."

It's just that Mu Huaizhang is the one to thank the other party for their hard work, so who can save Mu Huaizhang from this endless suffering?

Chai Fei is only 30 years old. He is so good when he is quiet, and he is so good when he is noisy.Such a vivid Chai Fei is the most precious existence here in Mu Huaizhang, how can it be?

He still has a long way to go, a lot of songs to sing, and he hasn't grown old with Mu Huaizhang... Why did he get sick?

Mu Huaizhang thought that he had already made sufficient psychological preparations when he was in the detention center, but it was only when the incident came to an end that he realized that he had really overestimated himself.When the sharp blade fell, Mu Huaizhang couldn't control himself not to shed tears in the torment of heart-wrenching pain.He was afraid of alarming Chai Fei, and he didn't dare to go out, so he got out of bed by himself, and without looking for a chair, he squatted down on the spot, still holding Chai Fei's hand, and clenched his teeth to prevent himself from making a sound.It's just tears that can't be stopped.

From twilight to dawn, Mu Huaizhang kept this posture.The ankle hurts, just what he needs right now.He can only use physical pain to stimulate him to accept this cruel reality, use pain to suppress his grief and indignation at the injustice of God, and use pain to accept pain.

Perhaps it is because the predecessors have already experienced these sufferings that a specious ridicule is left in the long river of time, "Only people can't enjoy the blessings, and no one can't bear the sins."

After all, Mu Huaizhang cleaned himself up before Chai Fei woke up.After the tears flowed, he wiped his face dry; when his legs became numb from squatting, he paced softly in the room.It wasn't until he was sure that when Chai Fei woke up, he could show him an invincible Mu Huaizhang again, then he lay down again, still holding Chai Fei's hand, closed his eyes, and waited for Chai Fei to wake up.

So, when Chai Fei woke up, he saw Mu Huaizhang, who had a rough beard on his chin after a night, sleeping peacefully beside him.

"Mr. Mu, it's time to get up. The doctor will come to make rounds in a while." Chai Fei got another good night's sleep and was in good spirits, at least that's what Mu Huaizhang saw.

The author says:

Distressed, distressed, still distressed.But it will pass.