Goodbye, Mr. Mu

The past few days are full of autumn, the temperature drops, and the sunlight is less. When you encounter this gloomy sky again, it's like falling into the breath of the abyss. If you don't pay attention, you will swallow your soul.No matter how devout a believer in light, no matter how warm the region is, they cannot escape the breath, gradually falling, falling into the torrent of dark night, mediating in the undercurrent of words, confused, trapped, and then forgetting the way back.

But the annoying undercurrents will not leave, they will hit him around, invade him tirelessly, drown him, repeating in his ears over and over again——

"They are all adults, why are you talking about sincerity, brother?"

"Do you think Mu Huaizhang is really sincere?"

……

"We have known each other for a long time, my brother. He has worked hard to get in touch with our family."

"Take a step back and say, you see that you are sick and old, is he still there?"

"You don't have to believe me, you can ask him yourself."

"Oh yes, you dare not. You are timid, you have been since childhood. Hahaha, you care most about what the person you love thinks of you, I know."

Lin Mu's ugly smile was revealed in his cloudy eyes, and he repeated these three words back and forth, which was exactly the same as when Chai Fei returned to China more than ten years ago, watching a good show and letting him sing on stage.

"You are afraid that your tenderness and affection are all fake, but the fact is like this! My brother!"

Whether it was the forest trees before or the current forest trees, they all had the same ugly and hideous smiles, like ghosts crawling out of the abyss wearing dignified human skins, laughing in a terrifying tone.The ridiculous thing is that no matter it was Chai Fei in the past or now, it is a poor prey, which is easily grasped by cunning hunters.He twirled his fingers, Chai Fei's place was a catastrophe where life and death were uncertain.

Chai Fei didn't believe it. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to isolate the turbidity in front of his eyes and ears, but the question about "sincerity" pierced his eardrums, and Chai Fei raised his hand to expel it annoyed.What is "sincerity"?Those days and nights spent together, aren't they "sincere"?

"Go, go away!"

He fumbled in nothingness to expel the voice that mediated in his ears, and hoped that there would be a pair of familiar and warm hands that could lead him away from this drowning nightmare.

Chai Fei waved his hand suddenly, and it fell into the air, and the voice lingering in his ears suddenly rose, which was even more noisy than the temple fair during the Chinese New Year.

He struggled angrily, shouting and cursing.

"Go away! Go away! Go away!"

Chai Fei finally broke free from the shackles and opened his eyes.

However, the reality was not much better than the dream, the surrounding environment seemed to have changed, his eyes blinked, and he looked around.

The pale ceiling, the pale walls, the cramped space was narrowed by the high-hanging dark curtains, and the ECG reminder sounded regularly in the ear.

This is a hospital?

Chai Fei frowned, thinking about this incident, he tilted his head slightly, looked at the needles on the back of his hand, and the sensor with his finger between them, and he slowed down.

"hiss--"

There seemed to be no special pain, but he always felt a little powerless.

But the only good news is that his vision is much clearer than when he saw Mu Huaizhang at the racetrack.

A bouquet of flowers was placed on the small table by the bed, which is a classic style for visiting patients, and Mu Huaizhang would not buy such flowers for him.

Speaking of which, Mu Huaizhang didn't seem to be here.

Chai Fei's mouth moved under the oxygen mask, and his fingers moved accordingly.I don't know if it was the induction in the hospital ward or what, but the nurse came very quickly.

The nurse opened the blackout curtain, and the darkness in front of his eyes was suddenly replaced by a piece of light. He blinked uncomfortably, and wanted to raise his hand to block the light, but the strength in his whole body made him tremble even when he raised his hand. The tightly pursed mouth instantly grinned helplessly.

"Illness comes like a mountain." He pretended to laugh at himself lightly, but he couldn't hide his embarrassment. .

Nurses should often take care of such patients. She familiarly called the doctor to check on Chai Fei, but probably because Chai Fei was born good-looking and fit the most fashionable sickly beauties nowadays, the nurses were always willing to come to him more often. go around.

This one too, after the doctor finished the examination and said he was all right, he helped someone to roll up the bed so that Chai Fei could sit on it.

The nurse was about to leave after checking the drips he was wearing and the various medical instruments on his body, but Chai Fei spoke as if he had finally summoned up his courage.

"Hey, that...do you know who sent me here?" Chai Fei asked tentatively.

The nurse replied: "I saw a boss in a suit and leather shoes before changing shifts last night. But he seems to have left. I didn't see him when I went to work today."

"Did you wear glasses?" Chai Fei asked.

Nurse: "Probably not, but he doesn't seem to have very good eyesight, or he may be impatient. I heard that he signed his name in the wrong place when he paid and filled out the form." Then she thought of something, and opened her mouth to say something. But he changed his mind again, shut up and stopped talking.

"His signature? What is it, Mu Huaizhang?"

"No, it's Chai Fei, your name. I didn't notice what name you signed with the money. Do you want to show it to you?"

"Oh, no need, thank you." Chai Fei's eyes suddenly dimmed a little, as if he couldn't get up the energy to look forward to it because he didn't get the answer he wanted.

Is there really no sincerity?Is it true that he is "wishful thinking" again?

Chai Fei pursed her lips, looking at the empty ward, wondering why the airtight ward, covered with a winter quilt, was better than standing on Chen Haifeng's windy balcony in a thin shirt on the racecourse cold.

"Oh, by the way, a gentleman said before that I'll let you know when you wake up." The little nurse probably meant to ask Chai Fei for his opinion.

The light in Chai Fei's eyes seemed to light up again, and the corners of his eyes slowly rose: "Sir, who is it?"

"It seems to be three words. I went to the nurse's station to get the notebook, and he left a phone number and name for me."

Three words, besides Mu Huaizhang, Chai Fei can't remember anyone else.

"En." Chai Fei smiled contentedly.

Only at this time, Chai Fei felt that the empty room was not so cold, and it even seemed that there was still a period of sunlight shining into his eyes.

The little nurse came very quickly. She opened the door and flipped through the notebook.

"Oh. I see, it's Cheng Haifeng, Mr. Cheng."

Chai Fei's smile on the corner of his mouth froze in place, and his breath seemed to be cut off because of these three words.

It wasn't the name he wanted to hear.

"No, no."

The nurse didn't understand: "What's wrong?"

But Chai Fei seemed to have never heard of it. His sudden silence made the little girl not know what to do. The whole ward became extraordinarily silent, only a cold autumn wind quietly squeezed into the room from the window. The hanging curtain lingered, and the hanging curtain flew, making Chaifei feel the chill again suddenly, and his whole body shivered.

"Yes, there is no sincerity."

Chai Fei smiled, with bitterness in his eyes.This is not the first time he has been stupid, why doesn't he have a long memory every time?

He didn't know what Lin Er said, some of it was true, but it didn't matter now.

As he said, maybe he is sick and old, and this person is no longer there. Sometimes the relationship between people is very fragile. If someone withdraws first, they quit first, and they are over.

And when this is over, Chai Fei has no reason to refuse.Can he say that if I'm sick, you must take care of me?Can he ask him to stay by his side all the time?

No.

In the end, a lover is still two individuals, he can't ask others to do what he wants, and he can't use my weakness and my reason to bind someone, so he can only secretly warn himself in a place where others can't see, don't ask, don't expect extravagantly .

Others say that only children who love to ask for candy will eat candy; but he has never learned how to ask for candy obediently since he was a child.So whether there is sugar or not may not be very important to him.

It's good to be able to live a simple life.

He was lost in thought, thinking of ways to comfort himself, he thought that maybe he would shed some hot tears, and it would be fine to cry his nose, but there was a burst of warmth in his nasal cavity-suddenly, something came out of his nose.

It was a drop of bright red blood, together with the bitterness in Chai Fei's eyes, and the sadness in his mouth, falling together and hitting the pale bed.

Two drops, three drops, quickly stained a large piece of the original white bed sheet.

Those plain but profound feelings that are recorded in the blood seem to flow out with the blood.

"Yeah, you have a nosebleed!"

The little nurse quickly hung up her notebook, took some paper from her clothes and handed it to Chai Fei.

Chai Fei's hand that took the paper was trembling uncontrollably, he tried to raise his hand to stop the nosebleed, but it was in vain.

The blood stained Chai Fei's hand, and the fishy sweetness kept rolling in his throat.

"I..." Chai Fei's vision and sanity began to cloud again. He wanted to say something, but it seemed that his physical strength could not support his sanity.

He fell back slowly, leaning against the rocking bed.

The nurse rang the emergency bell beside his bed, and soon, doctors, instruments, and medicines all came to him.But he still felt uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that he wanted to curl his whole body into a ball and hug him tightly, maybe it would not be so empty.

The author says:

Guess what the little nurse thought of and didn't say?The next chapter will be revealed, haha