sincerity of lies

"This word runs through my life..."

Ben sighed and looked at the three people in front of him:

"If possible, I would really like someone older, preferably older than me, preferably a priest, so that I can have this conversation as my last words.

I can ask the priest to testify that I love her no less than she loves me.

When I die, I will return to her embrace with the most equal attitude and the strongest love.

Let's talk about it, let's talk about what we should say.

My parents have abandoned me, but I can really feel that their love for me is continuing. The better I live, the stronger their invisible love will be.

At that time, I could live in a good house in the city center.

But it's amazing that I chose to go back to the Chinatown I couldn't wait to escape.

why?

Later, I also thought about this question. I am afraid it is still my mentality when I was showing off to others when I was a child.I enjoy the envious and fearful gazes from other people, which are sweeter when they come from someone who looked down on you before.

Friends in the past started to please me, like a group of dogs, barking and whining around me. Animals please people by standing upright, people please people, but bow their backs.

I think it's a fair deal, they want my money, I buy their dignity.

Although I doubt whether they have such a thing...

At this time, I have to talk about my neighbors. The neighbors did not help me and my mother back then, but now seeing me come back, they want to get rich again.When they knew what their daughter was doing, they sent her over to bring me food and drinks.

I want to keep her out.

For those who have sorry for me in the past, I can meet them casually, humiliate them with my identity and money wantonly, maybe I slapped them on one side of the face with money, and they licked their faces and smiled and put the other side of their faces together Come up, those scarlet eyes, can't see anything in the world except colorful banknotes.

But Miao Zhen, after all, she is a bit different, I have felt kindness in her, so I don't want to classify her with others.

When she came to the door, I did not open the door.

That night, I heard the scolding from my neighbors. Among the unbearable scolding that was loud in the night, I never heard Miao Zhen's voice, neither refuted nor cried.

The night passed like that.

The next day, I saw Miao Zhen again.

I know, she was driven over by her family again.

This time, I opened the door.

Miao Zhen walked in.In her hand was a basket covered with a cloth. In the basket were only the fruits grown in the back garden by the neighbors.

Miao Zhen put the basket on the table and shook his head at me.

"You shouldn't have opened the door."

My heart suddenly relaxed. Time has not changed my past friend, nor has it changed her. She is still the true spirit who guides the way in the dark night in my memory.

"They scold you."

"Let them go. After three days of cursing, I will give up this unrealistic delusion. But if you open the door, this matter will never end."

Miao Zhen undoubtedly understood her parents.

My opening the door made them realize that there was something to be done, and they began to try to match me and Miao Zhen.

We were both under the watchful eye of her parents, and it was annoying together.

At this time, my home became her short-term safe haven. Every time her parents sent her over, she would bring some doll-making tools and come to my windowsill to make handmade dolls.She makes some dolls and sells them along the street every day to subsidize her family.

There are many guests in my family, and I come back to accept the flattery of these "guests", so most of the time, my house is lively, but she does not join them, and they do not try to pull her into it.

She is a peaceful corner of this boring bustling...

However, under the pressure of her parents, this tranquility is shrinking.

Some torture.

In fact, I don't know whether I come back here for enjoyment or for torture.

Perhaps enjoyment and torture are inherently one.

Finally, this fragile balance was broken.

Miao Zhen decided to get married.

The person she married was a customer who kept coming to buy her dolls.

Her parents were stunned.

I was also stunned.

First her parents, I found her: "This decision is too sudden."

"It's not that sudden either."

"But do you know him?"

"I understand. He has no sisters or children in his family. He always comes to me to buy dolls, just because he likes me and wants to see me."

"do you like him?"

Miao Zhen smiled happily: "Do you like it? Anyway, I definitely don't hate it. I am looking forward to having a baby with him, and our ideas are very close. When he comes to me to buy dolls, he will also discuss with me what the future child will look like." .”

"But……"

I really want to ask her, is it because of your parents' pressure on me that you married in such a hurry?

However, she didn't keep any eyes on me anymore.

Then she turned and left.

Seeing her again, she was wearing a red wedding dress, coming out of the door of the neighbor's house, holding another man's hand.

This moment is... amazing.At this moment, I clearly felt my love for her and her love for me.

Love didn't hang on her lips, but she proved her love for me with her actions.

She used the act of marrying to free me from the monitoring of her parents. Her sacrifice and her flawless love made me perfect. "

When Ben said this, he smiled:

"This story sounds a lot like a story that you don't know how to cherish until you lose it."

Yes, this is a story about cherishing only when you lose it, but it is not just a story about cherishing only when you lose it.

Because of Ben, he has been educated by his mother since he was a child-brainwashing.

Leaving is love.

So, when Miao Zhen leaves, Ben can feel the love.

Ji Xun thought.

The source of the tragedy comes from a small misplacement.

Ben continued:

"After Miao Zhen got married, my love was burning, but I didn't dare to disturb her. I think there is a saying in the Bible that is right, love is dedication, dedication, and long-term patience.

Miao Zhen's marriage is very happy.

She and her husband soon had a lovely child.

A girl.

All was well, and together they made the girl look like a doll.

I quietly helped to make her husband's job go more smoothly, so that they could move from Chinatown to a white community. After they selected a community, I bought a house in the next-door community.

I want to buy a house in their neighborhood, but I'm worried that getting too close will ruin her marriage.

So I chose the neighborhood next door. With this distance, there must be no gossip.

In the past few years, I restrained myself from disturbing her happy life, and was only satisfied with meeting occasionally... At this time, her child fell ill.

Get sick and get healed.

This is her misfortune, but it is my luck. Miao Zhen and her husband are just ordinary people living in a foreign country. Divided up by various loans, there is not much left, and the little savings are a drop in the bucket.

Without Miao Zhen asking, I immediately contacted the hospital for the child and paid the fee.

Both Miao Zhen and her husband are very grateful to me, but I don’t need her thanks. I even thank this disease, which gave the love for her stored in my heart an outlet.

But after being hospitalized for an examination, it was discovered that it was not just a matter of money.

Money can find very good doctors, but there is no way to directly find the organs that children need.

However, the child's illness requires an organ transplant to solve it.

Without hesitation, I began to ask the black market for organ trading channels.

At this time, Miao Zhen's husband decided to divorce. I am still surprised by his decision to divorce. I think the luckiest thing in his life is to marry Miao Zhen, but he gave up his life so easily. Lucky……"

"Because of guilt." Ji Xun said, "As the father of the child, what he did to the seriously ill child is far less than you. His self-esteem as a father made him feel guilty."

"Maybe there is still escape, to escape the responsibility of being a father." Huo Ranyin said calmly, "The mental and financial burden of a seriously ill child may have broken his love for his family."

Ben no longer participated in this discussion.

He continued: "No matter what, this divorce was very peaceful. Neither Miao Zhen nor her husband blamed me. They are very grateful to me... Maybe this is the reward of long-suffering love.

When I tried everything possible to order an organ, there was also good news from the hospital that the child's organ was also available through formal channels, and it was expected to wait three to four months to half a year before it could be arranged.

Double happiness.

What was originally extremely difficult, suddenly had two choices.

Miao Zhen and I discussed which organ to use.The organ I contacted is from the black market, but it is good, it can be used immediately, and you can make an appointment for surgery now; as for the official organ, of course it is better and more reassuring, but after all, you have to wait for about half a year. The child has to suffer for another half a year.

What's more, nights are long and dreams are many, what if the official organs have twists and turns during the waiting time?

Coincidentally, when I contacted the black market again, the people in the black market told me that if you have concerns, we can also directly let the organs you want enter the formal channels. "

"Enter regular channels?" Huo Ranyin muttered to himself, "Tang Jinglong?"

Ji Xun was silent.

Yes, isn't this exactly what Tang Jinglong and his ilk are doing?Isn't it the most sensational move of the ship?

So early, Mr. Liu can do this.

Then, Ji Yu's heart...

He couldn't help looking at Meng Lingshan, and found that Meng Lingshan was looking at him, and immediately looked away.

He realized...Meng Lingshan also realized...

His parents, very likely, made exactly the same choice as Ben, going to the black market to buy a heart for Ji Yu...

Ben didn't realize what the three people in front of him were thinking.He is immersed in his own story.

"This sentence dispelled all my hesitation, so we decided to use the black market organs that can be obtained now.

After confirming the operation date, Miao Zhen cried and laughed, and grabbed my hand. She didn't speak, but through her sparkling eyes, I saw the expectation.

She very suddenly raised her expectation that after the child recovers, the three of us will be together.

It was so sudden..."

"It's not sudden at all." Ji Xun said, "Do you think she loves you at this time?"

"..." Ben shook his head, "I don't know, I love her, but..."

"She was only forced by rumors." Ji Xun said calmly, "The child is still on the hospital bed. Although you have been giving selflessly, I think at this special time, a mother who is exhausted by the child has no energy to think about other things. Emotional. The reason why she expresses this expectation comes from her divorced husband and the gossip around her. The words of the people around her, the universal concept, including her gratitude to you, get entangled and let her treat you In fact, I made this choice without much love.”

"But you rejected her." Ji Xun whispered, he saw through Ben's hesitation, until now, Ben is still confused by his original choice.

But there is no need to be confused.

Mom taught Ben how to love.

To treat someone selflessly, distantly, and without expecting anything in return is love.

No matter which of the parents, they did not return to Ben's side in the end, so this love is destined not to be responded to by Miao Zhen.

This was probably the most fundamental reason for Ben's hesitation at the time.

After a long silence, Ben said slowly:

"After the organ transplant, the child is getting better day by day, Miao Zhen and I are very happy.

The child is also very sensible. Instead of asking where his father is, he is very close to me.

I think Miao Zhen said something to this child, just like my mother touched my head when I was a child and told me that my father left me for my own good.

But suddenly, very suddenly, the organ rejects it.

A child who is fine in the morning is gone in the evening.

Not to mention Miao Zhen, even I couldn't believe it.

The disillusionment of hope made us decadent together. Jane, who had never drank before, began to drink heavily.

one day.

One night, Miao Zhen reeked of alcohol and came to question me when he was drunk.

She grabbed me, cried and laughed, quarreled, and asked me whether my organs were bad?Are the transplanted organs bad?If we use organs from regular channels in the hospital—you are to blame, you are all to blame, everything is to be blamed on you, I took your word for it, and used organs from unknown origins to kill my daughter!

That night, I really got to know Miao Zhen.

Not the Miao Zhen who opened the fence for me in the middle of the night, not the Miao Zhen who sat on the windowsill of my house, not the Miao Zhen who married someone else...not the Miao Zhen who is very far away from me.

It was Miao Zhen standing in front of me at this very moment.

She grabs me, and I can grab her.

She is...alive. "

"The loss of her baby hurt her so much," Ben said. "I should have felt the pain of losing her baby, but in this cruel moment, all I was filled with was my selfish love for her, a love that was in my heart. My heart was on fire, it was like a curse... Cursed the child to death!"

"If it wasn't for my eagerness to show off, if it wasn't for my eagerness to express my love, I wouldn't contact the black market, and naturally I wouldn't kill the child!

Miao Zhen cried bitterly in my arms.

But my mind is full of the real, living her, and what surges inside me is the joy of being aware of my love for her, and the abject pain of knowing that joy is base..."

"Finally changed from a phantom of love to a lover." Meng Lingshan commented plainly, "Congratulations."

"Yeah..." Ben laughed, "Maybe."

Then, his smile gradually faded.

But another kind of strange satisfaction flooded his face.

"The next day, Miao Zhen asked me to go to the hospital where the child was being treated.

She said to me, forgive me.

Then, in front of me, she jumped down from the tall building of the hospital. "

"She forgave me..." Ben continued, "I didn't see hate in her last look at me, only love."

Of course it is love, how can there be hatred in this last look of someone close to you.Ji Xun thought of Ji Yu.He slowly savored the bitterness that extended from the story to the outside.

Emerge from the base of the tongue, follow the saliva, and swallow into the stomach.

It rises from the stomach and then enters the heart, liver, spleen and lungs.

A woman takes away all sin with death.

Those who survived were forced to wash clean.

But in this way, does sin disappear?

Ben took a long breath, his voice was a little trembling, it seemed that this passage, until now, still made him emotionally unstable:

"She fell to the ground and there was blood all over the floor.

Impossible to help. "

"And then?" Ji asked.

"Then?"

"What did you do to her?" Ji Xun said, "I think her falling down is not the end of the story."

"...I did one thing that you may not understand." Ben smiled, "but I did one of the most correct things in my life."

"I, ate her."

"You..." Huo Ranyin was in a daze, "Eat her?"

"Yeah." Ben regained his composure and nodded flatly, "I attended her funeral and stole her body."

"I cut open her chest, took out her heart, and I cooked her heart into dishes.

It was delicious.The most delicious dish I have ever made in my life.

I have not wasted an iota of it. It contains my most superb skills and all my emotions.

Miao Zhen will always be with me.Always, always. "

His distant lover is like the moon in the sky. The moon once came to his side and returned to the sky again.

He experienced this real love, and mastered this eternal love.

Therefore, when the moon fell from the rooftop, it also rose slowly from his heart.

She fell, and her life was over.

But at the same time, she transformed into a flawless goddess, and in a man's heart, there was a holiness that never faded.

Ben looked to his side.

The woman snuggled up to him sweetly.

"She saved me with her life, so I'm here on this ship, and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life trying to prevent what happened to her from happening to anyone else."