Fire to the Abyss

The movie is at its climax. The gorgeous fighting scenes are frame after frame. Lu Yuan stared at the front with his eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't watch the movie for a second. small theater.

He originally attributed the physiological reaction to a gaffe caused by the idea of ​​"desire", thinking that it was just a beastly side produced by animal instinct, and it had nothing to do with who the target was or the gender of the target, it was simply because he was kissed up.But after retrieving all the bits and pieces about Xia Yan in these years, he found desperately that his impulse at that time seemed not only caused by "desire", but also part of "emotion".This part doesn't have much to do with the gender of the subject, but the subject is only Xia Yan. As for the evidence, if you look back carefully, you can find a lot——

For example, it is not a common thing to have a physiological reaction to a "friend" due to some kind of force majeure. Feeling guilty, but Lu Yuan didn't feel guilty at all, instead he felt an indescribable joy.

For example, he was indeed unhappy because of Xia Yan's sudden attack after he was drunk, but what he was unhappy with was not the part of the sudden attack, but because Xia Yan thought of him as someone else. He even dreamed of knowing what Xia Yan thought of him as Who, who would Xia Yan whisper in his ear, who would he look at with that gentle gaze, and who would he embrace in his arms and fall asleep.

For example, he discovered that Xia Yan sticks to him because he has been transforming himself according to Xia Yan's preferences. These transformations can be said to be subconscious. He subconsciously replaced all the incense in the house according to Xia Yan's preferences. Yes, every detail of life has subtly changed with Xia Yan, and he subconsciously molded himself into the perfect "friend" in Xia Yan's heart.

For another example, when he took off the pillow on Xia Yan's face at the end, and looked at his peaceful sleeping face and fluttering lips, he actually had the urge to kiss him. At that moment, he seemed to understand the meaning of "want". The complex and strong emotions contained in the words.

There was a line in the movie - I would draft a lifetime with youth face all the age soft his world alone (I would rather spend the short life of a mortal with you than watch the vicissitudes of the rest of my life alone), he suddenly thought, if he spends the rest of his life with Xia Yan, it seems There is nothing wrong with him, he is so noisy, the family will never be deserted.

Lu Yuan laughed self-deprecatingly: "Is this the butterfly effect caused by your sudden intrusion in the alley that year? Where should I find the time machine..."

That unexpected kiss is like a highly dependent psychotropic drug. The nerve cells secrete excessive dopamine at that moment, raising the threshold of excitement. The nervous system only completes these small actions in a moment—so, in a moment, fascinated.

Lu Yuan is like every addict who comes into contact with drugs by accident, from cravings accompanied by conflicts, to painful resistance, to desperate struggles, to hopeless acceptance of fate.Just like an addict who can't get rid of drug addiction for the rest of his life, he found out sadly that he can't get rid of Xia Yan in this life either.

Fortunately, he is rational by nature, and no matter how strong his desire is, he is bound under the shackles of reason. Therefore, the moment he understood "want", he learned "restraint" without a teacher. The noisy summer night with the sea breeze has been restrained until now.

Obsession, greed, these forbidden feelings last forever, and become more intense after years of accumulation.

The hour hand on the clock went around, it was eight o'clock, and Xia Yan hadn't come yet.Lu Yuan took out his mobile phone, and stayed on Xia Yan's number with his fingertips for a long time, but he never dialed it, and finally just smiled lightly, and sent a message to the number under Xia Yan's name: "Come up and pick me up. "

Although Xia Yan was thinking about feeding Lu Yuan, Xia Lin had new thoughts on the case, and with the latest discoveries coming in, the two exchanged and discussed, but time passed before they knew it.It was dark when Xia Lin left, and Xia Yan himself was starving, so he packed a luxurious dinner for Lu Yuan in a small restaurant next to him, and specially bought a fragrant one at the entrance of the detachment. Baked sweet potatoes, hurried to the hospital.

It was just after eight o'clock when Xia Yan rushed into the ward with dinner, the bed was empty, and the quilt was still warm, Xia Yan thought he was pushed out by some nurse to chat, so he asked around, the nurse at the nurse station Everyone has an impression of this good-looking and good-tempered patient, but no one has seen him.

It was only then that Xia Yan realized that something was wrong, and rushed downstairs while calling Lu Yuan, Lu Yuan only answered the phone when the ring rang for the seventh time, his voice was deliberately lowered: "Sorry, it's not convenient for me right now. "

Just when Xia Yan was about to ask him why he slipped away without saying a word, a sweet female voice came from the receiver: "Lu Yuan, let others deal with the matter in the store, and wait for you to recover from your injury." Xia Yan The question that was about to be spoken fell silent in an instant, and his footsteps also stopped. He paused and said in a low voice: "Then write back to me when it is convenient for you."

What responded to him was Lu Yuan's voiceless voice: "It's not convenient recently, no, it will not be convenient in the future."

The signal in the corridor was not very good, and Lu Yuan's voice was distorted through the earpiece, Xia Yan suddenly felt that the voice was extremely strange.Lu Yuan hung up the phone without giving Xia Yan any time to react. Xia Yan was stunned and listened to the "beep" sound coming from the receiver, and suddenly couldn't imagine Lu Yuan's expression when he said this.

Xia Yan smoked all the remaining cigarettes in the corridor. After thinking about it, he didn't know what kind of monster Lu Yuan was doing. He returned to the ward and ate all the cold sweet potatoes, and all the daily necessities he left behind. Throw it in the trash and throw it away like it never came.

"What am I worried about?" Xia Yanyuan returned to the detachment, and when he waited for the traffic lights, he thought of Lu Yuan again, "I almost forgot that this is a blue-faced disaster, but now others have warm, fragrant and soft pillows, and are taken care of by girls." It's much better than being taken care of by me." Xia Yan wiped his nose and thought sadly, if a girl wanted to bathe Lu Yuan, he wouldn't be so resistant.

As soon as Lu Yuan hung up the phone, like a punctured balloon, he could no longer maintain his shape, tilted his head, and fell straight on the back seat, his arms trembled uncontrollably, and his breathing became disordered.

Assistant Xu in the driver's seat looked back worriedly, and stepped on the gas pedal silently, "Boss, the attack time is getting shorter and shorter, you should call me to pick you up earlier, if it's so late A little bit, it's all over if you have an attack in the hospital."

Lu Yuan tightly clenched his left arm, lying on his back to catch his breath, and said, "Isn't this waiting for someone to bring me food, Xia Yan said that he will bring me food at night."

Assistant Xu said in a bad tone, "Did the family bring you food?"

"No, maybe I'm busy."

Assistant Xu curled his lips: "Now that I am so understanding, I just got angry and told him that it would be inconvenient in the future."

"I'm not angry—" Lu Yuan wanted to defend himself, but his tone suddenly changed, and he was drowned in a painful moan.

Through the rearview mirror, Assistant Xu saw that Lu Yuan was suddenly curled up into a ball, with blue veins protruding faintly on his forehead, and he felt distressed and anxious: "I can't do it anyway, that thing can't kill anyone, If it’s really not enough, let’s go for another injection.”

"No... no, I don't know what the injection will do to Xia Yan now..." Lu Yuan turned himself over with difficulty, took a few breaths, and didn't forget to yank at the rearview mirror. Twitching the corners of his mouth, "Wan Qing, it's okay, I can still hold on, it will be fine after a while."

Assistant Xu looked at the face in the rearview mirror that was full of "brave" and sighed helplessly. What she was worried about was that he would not be able to survive this time, so she said a little angrily: "Xia Yan Xia Yan Xia Yan, you know it all day long." Xia Yan, sooner or later you will lose your life because of him!"

Lu Yuan didn't pay much attention to her unfriendly tone, lying on his back on the seat, looking at the pure black sky outside the skylight, said in an almost inaudible voice: "That's my honor."

Assistant Xu didn't dare to look back, stepped on the gas pedal to the bottom, ignored countless "slow down" signs, and showed outstanding driving skills on the winding and winding mountain road, which was even better than Xia Yan's All the way back to Lu Yuan's mountain villa at high speed. When the two arrived, an old man was already waiting at the door. Lu Yuan's pain level reached a small peak again, and his lips opened and closed with difficulty. A sentence came out of his throat: "Uncle Zhao... I'm sorry to trouble you... Wan Qing... you go back first and continue... to do what I told you..."

Although the old man called "Uncle Zhao" had loose white hair all over his head, he was still in good shape. Hearing this, he slapped Lu Yuan hard on the forehead, grabbed him, and helped him into the room angrily. Let's go, "Don't talk so much nonsense when you have an attack. If you want to die, let me survive this period of time before you talk-girl, I can settle this bastard by myself, you go."

Xu Wanqing hesitated for a moment, but still called out to Uncle Zhao: "Uncle Zhao... If he really can't make it through, then..."

Uncle Zhao's footsteps paused, Xu Wanqing's voice also stopped, and then he continued to help Lu Yuan up the steps: "Be careful, he is not as fragile as you think, he won't die so easily, Let's go, don't you have something to do?"

Although Xu Wanqing didn't understand his boss's intermittent killing behavior, he nodded and quickly disappeared into the darkness.This cruel game has been played for too long, started with a high-profile sensational plot, followed by ten years of tepid, and now the climax has just been sung, it is time to prepare for the end.

Uncle Zhao carried Lu Yuan back to the room, quickly tied Lu Yuan's hands and feet, then tied the rope to the head of the bed, leaving him a little room to struggle, and stuffed a ball of cotton in his mouth to prevent him from biting. Then he removed all the sharp and angular things in the room, closed the curtains for him, turned off the lights, locked the door, and completed all the preparations for Lu Yuan's "intermittent death", Letting him die will not really kill him, and changing the bed in the master bedroom for him with a water bed is also out of this consideration.

One minute later, Uncle Zhao went back and forth, found a simple wooden box from under Lu Yuan's pillow, watched him shake his head and sigh, and finally went out without saying anything.

If anyone breaks into this wilderness villa at this time, they will definitely discover all of Lu Yuan's secrets, see through this man's thin body at a glance, see his bloody sincerity, and understand behind his willful and unrestrained disguise of fragility and anxiety.

But no one ever came.