Fool's Love

The night is like a huge whale, quietly engulfing us.

After submitting the manuscript, the greatest stress in life has been removed, and there will be an unreal feeling at first, probably similar to the feeling after wisdom teeth extraction (although I have not experienced it)——

I usually gnash my teeth in pain, and I went to the hospital for anesthesia treatment, and immediately I didn't feel the pain, only the anesthetic and the feeling of the empty socket remained, which was amazing.

As a result, after a while, after the effect of the anesthetic wears off, the pain does not really come.

Comics—in a way, it helped me attract most of the firepower in my life.

In addition, the learning and interpersonal communication that we have to face are not problems that can be easily solved.It's just that I, who used to focus on manga, ignored them.

As for the end of the last trip to Akihabara... I couldn't confess my love to him until the end.

What Masumi said at that time did not lead the atmosphere to the worst situation, it was just that I flinched.

Thinking about it now, the biggest pressure that hindered me from expressing my love to Masumi was that the two of them couldn't even be friends, and when Masumi said that, I even felt scared about it.

...it's just an afterthought to make up for yourself.

I seem to have overlooked the fact that even if Masumi didn't say that at the time, maybe I wouldn't be able to say that in the end.Because I'm a timid person, timid, and afraid of change...that would make me very uneasy.There are too many things I have missed so far because of this.

Began to feel the sudden increase in academic pressure.I planned to enter the art college, and I originally hoped to pass the AO examination.

In this way, there is only about half a year to submit the application.Going to the studio frequently, preparing for exams... I don't want to do anything when I get home.Repeating the mechanical days, the contact with Masumi has also become much less.

There was only one time when I complained to Masumi about the trivial matters of life.I was immediately comforted after I made resentful words to him, but after the chat was over, I immediately fell into self-blame, thinking that I shouldn't bother him about this matter.

At the same time, I started to look for the right time to confess again.The idea for this first came up in February.

At that time, the results of the Golden Bird Awards came out.The works of the three of us were successfully selected, and the three of us went to dinner together to celebrate.

However, I didn't find a chance to confess.After waiting until March, the work was published in the magazine.

The magazine sent samples.Still no confession.I feel like a person looking for the biggest ear of rice in a wheat field. The more I advance, the more uncertain I am.

Masumi's poor form was another factor.Ever since he was found to be morose, it seemed to be increasing gradually as the day went on.

On days when he doesn't have a smile on his face, I have to think twice before saying anything to him, let alone a confession.The days passed slowly in restlessness.

After a few more months, I finally got the opportunity I had dreamed of—the summer vacation after the first semester of the second year of high school. Masumi suddenly asked me on Line if I wanted to go to the nearby river beach.

It was the end of July, which happened to be the day when the Fireworks Festival was held.When I was in the studio all day long and felt that my soul was going stiff, I received the news that Masumi proposed to go out for fun, which undoubtedly lifted my spirits.

On the evening of the promised day, I put on my yukata and left the house with my hair neatly combed.The mood is as happy as a newborn baby bird.

——It would be even better if you can confess smoothly.

I fantasize about such a scene: fireworks, beautiful fireworks, one after another rushing into the sky.Our faces, which were originally shrouded in the night, looked extraordinarily beautiful under the light of that moment.And that's when I expressed my feelings...

In terms of "timing" alone, tonight might be a better timing than the one in Tokyo at the end of last year.

Heading to the river beach with joy, I saw many people in bathrobes on the road.

Isn't there such a saying?When the wind is down, I feel that everything around me is encouraging me.

I, too, feel that everything around me is auspicious.Obviously, this scenery has been seen countless times when I was wandering around my house before, but today it is particularly fresh.

Was the twisting arc of that tree ever so beautiful?

Were the vines specially planted on the outside wall of that house?

While admiring the scenery along the way, he walked comfortably and without panting for about [-] minutes, and arrived at the agreed place.

Immediately afterwards, I saw Masumi who was also wearing a yukata at a glance.He stood at one end of the river beach, stepped on a pair of clogs, and stared intently at the shallow water flowing under his feet.

The yukata Masumi was wearing was a violet striped style, with catkin-like hands protruding from the two wide cuffs.

I heard that people who shoot food use black interlining to make the things they intend to shoot more beautiful, and the same is true for Masumi now.

In the night, his jade-like white skin—face, arms, bare ankles—became more vivid.

Standing there motionless, like a carefully carved statue, Masumi stared at the clear water flowing over the back of his feet.

His slightly long hair fluttered gently with the night wind along with the corner of his bathrobe.

As I approached him, I called out his name: "Masumi."

"Ah, Yamagishi."

"Excuse me. Was it a long wait?"

"Nothing, I just arrived."

There was a smile on Masumi's face—he seemed to be in a good mood, what a perfect atmosphere.There was no expression on my face, but I breathed a sigh of relief in my heart.

Let's first walk in the direction of the silent flow of shallow water under our feet.Clogs stepped on the cobblestones, making a crisp sound like chopsticks being washed.

From time to time, small stones flow down the running water and get into the gap between the feet and the soles of the shoes.That's when it's most annoying.

Sitting on the shore, regardless of whether the bathrobe will be dirty, kicking your feet back and forth in the water, shaking off the dross on them, after repeating several times, the two left the shallows tacitly, walked through the miscanthus on the shore, To the slightly raised path.

"There's a festival there."

Masumi pointed to the flames in the distance.

"Ah, let's go over there then."

"We seem to have taken the wrong direction from the beginning. If we go now, can we catch up with the Fireworks Festival?"

"If you want to watch fireworks, you should be able to see them no matter where you are."

Before we knew it, we were getting farther and farther away from the crowd.The noise gradually turned into a faint sound in the distance, replaced by the uninterrupted chirping of cicadas.

I found that it seemed that I liked it better—only myself and Masumi walking slowly together.

Fireworks don't matter, crowds don't matter, and festivals are even more dispensable.

When Masumi said that he was going to a crowded place, although I didn't object, I felt a little lonely in my heart.

Continuing along the mud-paved path, over a small stream that has dried up, there is an almost deserted bridge that was built at an unknown time.

Masumi stepped on the bridge carefully, only to hear a "squeak", and the decayed hollow wooden structure immediately collapsed.

"Go ahead," he said.Obviously, I said before that I was going to a crowded place, but it seemed to be getting farther and farther away from there.As far as the eye can see, it is full of desolate scenery and darker and deeper night.

Masumi has not spoken.

I glanced at the time, the firework festival is about to start.If you just start going there now, you won't be able to catch up with the first ray of fireworks, but if you hurry up, you can get there before the end.

"Masumi, if you don't go to the venue of the festival, you won't even be able to catch up with the end of the firework festival."

As if she didn't hear me, Masumi, who had been walking ahead, just looked up at the sky in silence.

Following his example, I raised my head, and what immediately caught my eye was a star river that was smooth and stretched like velvet, flashing bright like the highest-grade silk and satin.

The sky above is a bright moon, and the bright white moonlight penetrates the gauze-like clouds, making the entire starry sky seem to be gradually dyed.This is a view rarely seen by people who live in brightly lit cities on weekdays.

"Mountain shore."

Looking blankly at the starry sky, I suddenly heard someone calling my name.It was Masumi's voice.

For some reason, I had a vague premonition.However, Masumi did not speak again for a long time.

I feel restless.Staring blankly at his back, saliva kept growing in his mouth, and he swallowed it over and over again.

Just then, he gradually turned around.

"Please forgive me."

— did not look at me.He lowered his eyes.Masumi, who was originally lower than me, once did this, I couldn't see his expression clearly.

"W-why... no, what happened—"

The blood was coagulated, the lungs couldn't squeeze the air, and the brain couldn't function. Looking at Masumi standing there motionless with wide eyes, he felt a great fear that came from nowhere.

"I finally decided to obey my family's arrangement and study medicine. So... I can't draw comics with you as before. But, if necessary, I still..."

I can't hear his words from here on.

My body, which was barely functioning at first, exploded with tremendous strength in an instant.

That's like—instinct, or something like a circuit breaker.Because I didn't want to hear the words behind, my whole body followed suit.

He didn't have time to think, and acted entirely on the instinct of a beast.When he came back to his senses, his hands were tightly grasping Masumi's neck.

Originally, he should concentrate all his strength on these hands, but the moment he touched his skin, it seemed that all the energy in his body was pulled away from this body, and his hands trembled like a terminally ill old man.

The body also leaned forward due to inertia.As a result, the two who lost their balance fell together and fell into the overgrown thatch.

"Ah, ah-"

want to say something.There seemed to be something desperate to blurt out... but not even complete sentences could come out of his mouth.

Even if I had expected it, even... As long as I don't say it, I can pretend that it doesn't exist... Now it's pouring all over my head.

His hands had long lost strength, and they were still holding on to Masumi's neck tenaciously.My eyes were blurred by something warm, and Masumi's face facing me was as illusory as the moonlight separated by a layer of water.

What I hold in my hand is the slightly warm moon floating on the miscanthus.It wasn't until the blur in his eyes formed into water droplets that his vision began to clear up.Masumi in front of me was also full of tears like me.

"I was wrong. I, I shouldn't do this kind of thing emotionally, please punish me...It doesn't matter if you hit me hard, please punish me..."

Words flowed from my mouth in fragments.Masumi really stretched out her hand.However, he just pressed his hand to my face.

my tears.He gently stroked away the saliva and tongue saliva that flowed out because of the pain.

That made me so sad that I couldn't speak, but hugged this body tightly.

The night is like a huge whale, quietly engulfing us.

The author says:

After procrastinating for a long time, it is finally finished.

I originally thought that I must write more things at the end, such as the author's own mental journey, but after I finished writing, I couldn't think of what to say.

First of all, the previous chapters are too long. Looking back now, even I can't stand it.

Taking Ryoji Yamagishi's life as a manga artist as the main axis, it is really boring to think about it now.

Although I like to read comics, I have not actually participated in the work of drawing comics. Writing is really like a blind man feeling the elephant.After the plot of the sports meeting ended, the rhythm suddenly accelerated.

When it came to the end, it was written very cheerfully.I am a person who likes to echo back and forth very much. I think that in this way, the originally unromantic plot will immediately appear romantic.Hope you feel similarly.

"The Love of Fools" was originally intended to be written as the first chapter of "The Love of Patients" in the same series.

And "Patient"... was originally intended to be written as a work with a little suspense element ("Patient" is the "Loyalty...Loyalty" that has been locked in the column).

The beginning of the story is the reunion between Yamagishi and Masumi, whom he had not seen for many years. After that, various things happened around Yamagishi.

Originally, "reunion with Masumi and reunion" was one of the multiple endings.As a result, after only writing [-] words, I was attracted by the role of Masumi... and then I turned to describe the story of how Yamagishi and Masumi met and got to know each other.

...the above is a lie.The real situation is that I realized that readers would be nailed to the pillar of shame by following the original story line to the end, so I re-planned the direction of the story, and finally decided to start writing from the experiences of Masumi and Yamagishi in high school.

Also as said above - the final ending of this story is HE.This part will continue to be written in the "Patients" chapter.

As for when to continue, if the author himself has no conscience, he may start now.

Although it takes a while to build the plot, the general events are clueless.

However, compared to "The Fool", there may be more elements that the author himself likes in that article, such as, please be kind.

Other works in the same series "The Elephant's Room" are based on the short stories of Masumi Yamagishi and their fantasies in other different situations, and the relationship with this article is basically a parallel world.

Finally - thank you very much for reading this story.

—Amalgam—

2022.2.1