[Magic Forbidden Last Fantasy Access] Disorder

What is the meaning of living for?

This question has been thought over and over again by countless thinkers and philosophers in the past thousands of years.If we want to integrate these points of view, I am afraid that a hundred thick books in the district cannot fully explain them.

So, it's better not to think about it.

Since it is a journey with no results, it is better to give up starting from the beginning.

However, as early as a few days ago, Accelerator came up with the answer.

I live for "death".

I neither have expectations for future life, nor do I want to give myself any hope.

However, this answer was shaken at this moment.

He was kicked hard on the chest by Zanzaki, even though he subconsciously blocked it with his arms, he still couldn't resist the momentum, and Accelerator rolled down on the steel bar in a panic.

The headache was splitting, the vision was blurred, and even the breath was full of blood.Even if the current self is left alone, he will lose too much blood and die soon, but Zanzaki seems to take this torture method of kicking and beating as a kind of fun, and wants to slowly torture Accelerator who is dying.

After being choked by his own blood foam and couldn't help coughing, Accelerator vaguely heard Zanzaki's words.

"You kid...you look like you have no attachment, but do you think——you can really save something with your sacrifice?"

Accelerator moved his lips slightly, but seemed to have lost even the strength to speak, and just stared at Zakizaki with those red eyes that were enduring the pain.

"The answer is No!! You haven't saved anything at all, Academy City will be destroyed by me in the end, and you will die here like a rag——in this case, you still think your death is real Does it make sense?!"

The meaning of living is dying, but if even dying is meaningless, then what is the purpose of living?

Whether it is an independent personality, the last work, Huang Quanchuan and Fangchuan, or even the incompetent person named "Kamijo Touma", in the end he still cannot be saved.

Zanzaki's roar echoed in his ears, but he didn't have the energy to pay attention to it.

Accelerator was surrounded by endless pain, cold and despair.

(Really... I have never succeeded in doing anything. Not only did I fail to help that crying guy called "Independent Personality", but I didn't even kill that incompetent person... In the end, the mission still failed ah.)

Whether it's monitoring Kamijou Touma so that he doesn't get too involved, or killing Kamijou Touma on the 26th, Accelerator can't do it.

Because that incapable person is desperately trying to pull himself back from the bottomless darkness.

He was kicked heavily on the body, and Accelerator just let Zanzaki beat him without any resistance.

There was neither any movement nor any intention of disobedience. The first one just curled up his body to reduce the force as much as possible, as if he was dead.

Then Zanzaki clicked his tongue and kicked Accelerator with his kick!

The goal is to let the first person who is kicked off the steel bar fall to his death at a height of 200m.

Accelerator's thin body was instantly kicked out of the round platform. After rolling a few times on the steel bar, his body's center of gravity became unstable, and he turned straight to one side.

Seeing that he was about to fall off the steel bar, Accelerator abruptly reached out and grabbed the edge tightly.Although he stabilized his body when life and death were at stake, his lower body was already hanging in the air and looked precarious.

"Hey, this is different from what you said. Don't you think that 'living' is completely meaningless? If that's the case, what's the point of lingering like this?"

Accelerator was panting with difficulty, his head, which was stained red with red and black blood, drooped powerlessly.In order to maintain the action of grasping the steel bar, the first one has tried his best, and his brain is tortured by the dull pain, so that he can hardly think.

However, at that moment, he subconsciously grabbed the steel bar.

Because I want to survive, even if my posture is too miserable to be seen, I still want to survive.

"......Not yet, die..."

Accelerator panted in pain while talking intermittently.

"Because...you didn't...do anything, so...you still have to live..."

What is the purpose of living?

This kind of thing is completely unanswerable.

Even if it is to live for death, why not kill yourself at birth, but choose to live in pain until now?

Therefore, I probably didn't survive for such a thing as "death".

Perhaps Accelerator desires the light of "life" more than anyone else in his heart.

Seeing Accelerator like this, Zanzaki showed a look of disgust on his face.His already ferocious face was even more terrifying due to the twisted muscles.

"What kind of hypocrisy is it at this time? It's so unpleasant that I'm going to vomit! Why do you say that you want to live? It's a monster that can ruthlessly abandon even its companions, but it's still saying this The kind of laugh-out-loud words—"

Accelerator's hand was crushed heavily with the sole of his shoe, and he twirled his toes in disgust as if he was stepping on some waste paper.Zanzaki just laughed wildly and looked at the first person who was almost fainted due to the severe pain.

"—A monster like you is not qualified to live, and no one expects you to live!!"

At that moment, the meaning of Accelerator's existence as a human being was denied.

The first person felt a terrible sense of suffocation and dizziness, which was not all caused by lack of oxygen and blood loss. Zanzaki's words pierced deeply into his heart like a sharp sword.

I am a monster.

This is the truth.

Moreover——the silent efforts have been made in the past, in the present, and in the future, and there will be no return.

However, I still want to survive.

No matter how much abuse, accusation and discrimination you receive, no matter how many painful thorns you bear on your shoulders, you want to survive.

However, it was too late to understand this intention.

Zaizaki lifted his foot.A triumphant and ugly smile cracked across his face.

With just a light kick, Fang Accelerator will fall, and the height of 200m is undoubtedly fatal to him.

"Goodbye...no, forever. Accelerator. In the end, no one came to help you—what a pity?"

This kind of thing has long been expected.

The ending that he will die alone has already been foreshadowed.

However, I am not reconciled.

Wanting others to admit that he can live as a human being - obviously his wish is just that simple.But now even this small wish cannot be realized.

Zanzaki's words echoed in his ears.

【"—A monster like you is not qualified to live, and no one expects you to live!!"】

Accelerator closed his eyes, sighed self-deprecatingly, and then smiled slightly.

The smile looked distorted because of the wound involved, but it was the first genuine, heartfelt smile.

It turned out that I just hoped that someone would have expectations of me.

Zanzaki's foot fell hard.

death.

cold.

endgame.

This is the case.

It should be like this.

But—a second before Zizaki's foot landed, the beret man received a heavy blow on the cheek.

Not a weapon, nor an attack worthy of praise.

Just a normal, angry punch from a male high school student.

"Varied……?!"

Zanzaki was actually backed by this punch, and when he stood still, he finally saw the figure of the person coming.

Kamijou Touma glared at him, and stood upright in front of Accelerator.He was not considered a strong body, nor did he carry any weapons, but when he stood in front of Zakizaki, the man in the beret felt unspeakable pressure.

This is Kamijou Touma.

"Don't give up, Accelerator."

The boy with Fantasy Killer said in a low voice.

In front of the stupefied first person, he yelled with all his might.

It was completely straight from the heart, without any pretended emotion.

Kamijou Touma shouted to Accelerator like this.

As if about to cry, he yelled loudly.

"—At least there is me, admitting the value of your existence here!!"