far and near

Yuan Liu still didn't sign up for any school's self-enrollment exam. Good friend Zhao Jiaqi said that you look like an old man, without ambition and drive.Yuan Liu sat on the rostrum of the playground and was about to eat pancakes. "When you are almost 30 years old and don't get married and have children, people will probably say that you are too ambitious and delay your business."

She heard this from Yu Ren. The sisters who were nearly thirty years old chatted and complained during dinner, and they all agreed with this sentence when it came to marriage.Even the seemingly happy Bai Maosheng told about her being urged to go on a blind date. Of course, it was because of colleagues and friends who didn't know the details.

The phrase "what time to do what" sounds reasonable, but it is actually extremely domineering and twisted.If people are covered with various switches that can be precisely controlled, then the world will not be full of inorganic and disordered strange things, bad things, disgusting things, less surprises and extreme shocks, and more human nature will be stifled. A deep longing for beauty and love.

When the two girls were basking in the sun and squinting their eyes, Zhang Ruohui, the god of learning from the practical class, appeared at their feet at some point. The girl who had signed up for Tsinghua University looked up at Yuan Liu, her eyes were invisible grim.Yuan Liuqian smiled and handed over the pancake fruit, and asked Xue Shen if he would eat it?This is what her girlfriends lined up to buy and delivered to the gate at noon.

Xueshen shook his head, looked at Qingmei Zhao Jiaqi again, "Can you come here?"

Zhao Jiaqi, who had already forcibly cut off her love thread, shrank her legs, "Hey, hey..." She winked at Yuan Liu, jumped down immediately, and walked to the front of the camphor tree side by side with Xueshen.

"What do you think about not being able to love? How do you deal with it?" Xueshen asked Zhao Jiaqi, "I found that your grades have improved in the past few months, and you are also energetic. Have you come out of breaking up with me? I Can I ask you for some sutras?"

After distanced from Qingmei, Zhao Jiaqi's extreme caution gradually disappeared. She said that Huihui, love and had to do the questions, as long as the questions were not wrong, she would be able to find a satisfactory solution. less than' the fact, but do not ferment."

Xueshen looked at her with warm eyes, "Since I got closer to Yuan Liu, I found that you have also begun to mature." What's the matter with not fermenting?

Zhao Jiaqi raised her face with her feet up, letting the sun touch her face comfortably, "Not getting it doesn't mean I'm not good, and I don't want to make a fool of myself in this direction. Of course, I won't think that the other party is blind." When we were in junior high school, we went to When riding a roller coaster, one cannot calmly examine the surroundings while rolling up and down, only the beating of the heart and the feeling of weightlessness. I wanted to see more of your expression at that time, but I closed my eyes and screamed in fright.Only when the weather is calm and the sea takes a few steps back to look at myself and the other party can my vision be clear and stable.

"Then do you still like me?" Xueshen asked three questions at the beginning of this short-term relationship, "Do you like me as much as your girlfriend?" Can we break up?"

Zhao Jiaqi felt aggrieved immediately, "I like it."

"What if I still don't like you?" The god of learning said that you really can't ferment?

Zhao Jiaqi shook her head and stood up, "Hui Hui, do you know the difference between you and Yuan Liu? Show me the ups and downs, and she will hand you a whole pancake." She returned to Yuan Liu, blushing The eyes said that I will go back to the dormitory first.

It was quite rare to be left behind by Zhao Jiaqi, Xueshen looked at her back in a daze, and then at her Yuan Liu, "What are you looking at?" The little girl was a little out of breath.

Yuan Liu said whether to watch or not.

"You can't save Yuan Liu." Zhang Ruohui said to Yuan Liu before leaving, "Don't even attack yourself."

Yuan Liu took a big bite of the pancake and saluted Zhang Ruohui, "That's right!" She was mingling among the positive classmates in this rotten state.The teacher asked her if she had made up her mind after her two-day trip to colleges and universities in Shanghai?Yuan Liu said sure, I will work hard.

Yuan Huifang said that you want to learn from Xiaoyu, can you pass the Fudan exam so that your mother will be embarrassed?At that time, after graduation, I will take the civil service examination and become a high-ranking official.Yuan Liu said that I should try my best to be the governor, but Yuan Huifang slapped my ass and scolded, "You son of a bitch."

Yuan Liu said to Yu Ren that day to "think about" the matter of volunteering for the college entrance examination, but no matter what she thought, she couldn't reveal a word to Yu Ren.She understands that there are countless invisible benefits of being admitted to a prestigious school, but Yuan Liu hopes to deduce her path from one result: what kind of life she wants.

Children who grow up in the smoke and fire of villages in the city have no ambition or drive. Those who have a house and money can do simple jobs and live by collecting rent, which is considered "good".There are even people who are drawn into gambling games one after another and lose the demolition funds and have to sell their houses to pay off their debts. This is called a "prodigal son".People like Su Hai who are still focused on opening a store and Yuan Liu who are honest and hardworking belong to the "competitiveness" in the mouths of everyone.

Yuan Huifang's expectation for Yuan Liu's future has always been to "be an official".Su Hai said that you can take the exam anywhere, and it would be better if you can share half of my diploma.Huai Fengnian and the others also encouraged themselves to work hard, the question is where to go to work hard?Except that Su Hai doesn't interfere with him, Yu Ren is concealed, and actually hopes that he can go far and climb high.They all agreed: Yuan Liu wants to be admitted to a prestigious school.

The more encouraged and urged to walk in one direction, the heavier Yuan Liu's steps became.She simply lay down on the rostrum and let out a long breath—would it be possible that she would regret whichever way she went?

Saturday afternoon was the release date of the monthly exam results. Yuan Liu was still firmly in the top three in her class and top ten in her grade. The teacher was more anxious than her, "Yuan Liu, you have to work harder." come north.Yuan Liu smiled and said yes.Thinking about where else I can find time to improve my math performance, I can only move my sleep back for another hour.

Yuan Liu didn't go to see Yu Ren on Sundays these weeks because she was so upset, and Yuan Huifang woke her up with one sentence, "Xiao Yu is so busy, so I just point to the time of the week to sleep late." Don't keep pulling her to play with you." And Yuan Liu did see Yu Ren dozing off on his seat in the movie theater, and after falling on Yuan Liu's shoulder, "Haha, it seems that I really fell in love with you." A little old." Yu Renru said.

After cleaning up the house early on Sunday morning, Yuan Liu wiped his bicycle with a rag and engine oil.This second-hand car was bought by Yuan Huifang from a college graduate, and it is also a rare "valuable item" for Yuan Liu.She uses it carefully, wiping and oiling the chain every once in a while.

After wiping, I rode on the car and went to the store to help Yuan Huifang, but was pushed out by my mother, "Go back and read, there are two months before the college entrance examination, how many people are there?"

Riding to the door of Su Hai's shop, the deputy director was rolling potions and perming customers' hair. She said that she was very busy today, Xiaoliu, why didn't you go to your god?

Yuan Liu gave up the idea of ​​going to Yinxiu's store, and rode a bicycle aimlessly around Baizhou city.After driving to the village in the city where she lived since childhood, dense high-rise buildings have already been built here.Those old houses with different personalities and different smells have long since disappeared, and what she can recognize are the two big tung tree trees at the street corner.From the map, her childhood world may not be as big as a small dot. The people dispersed, the house disappeared, everyone smoothly "urbanized", moved into various similar communities, closed the door, and glued their eyes to various screens. superior.This is not the life Yuan Liu expected.

From west to southeast, she rode to the old southern district that she was not familiar with.Compared with the new area, it looks old, but it is neat and exquisite, and there are many ancient architectural remains in the style of the late Qing Dynasty and the early Republic of China.Passing by the newly built "Baizhou Yue Opera Theater" next to the Baizhou Yue Opera Troupe, a tall poster wall stands in front of the entrance. The handsome young boy Bai Maosheng in a long robe and a crown cap raises his sleeves and bows his head, his eyes are warm and his smile is warm.She braked and stopped in front of the poster, and saw three or five young girls taking turns taking photos with Bai Maosheng on the poster.Who says this person is not happy?She has a stage of her own.

Yuan Liu locked the car and went up to watch the show time. There was still an hour to go, she pouted, bought the cheapest ticket and steamed buns from a small roadside shop, and sat down on the steps waiting for the show to start.Mushroom buns are not delicious, she was choked, and someone handed a bottle of water when her eyes were protruding and belching, and she said with a smile, "I haven't opened it, I still have it."

Yuan Liu took the water, and hesitated to call the person in front of her "Auntie" or "Sister" because it was hard to judge her age, "Thank you, sister." Yuan Liu thought this address was polite.

The kind-hearted elder sister was wearing wide-leg pants and a loose coat. She checked the ground to see if it was clean before sitting next to Yuan Liu. "Are you also a fan of Bai Maosheng?"

"No... I'm just idle. I passed by and wanted to take a look." Yuan Liu said that she hadn't watched the complete Yue opera, but only watched some clips on the Internet.But Bai Maosheng on the poster is quite good-looking, "better than her in person."

"So you know Bai Maosheng?" The eldest sister obviously didn't speak with a local accent, but rather like a provincial capital.

Yuan Liu said she recognized it, and she asked, did you come to Baizhou from other places to listen to an opera?

"I live and work in Baizhou." The elder sister turned her head to look at another large poster that was slightly left out on the side, "I'm here to listen to Chen Fengxiang."

Yuan Liuguan knew that the fans were divided into several factions, and some people liked to kowtow, saying something like, "The female junior holds gold bricks, our Fengxiang has four gold bricks, and Bai Maosheng has made a lot of money." The big sister in front of her is CP fan?Yuan Liu chewed the steamed stuffed bun curiously and looked at her. The elder sister had two dimples from her smile, "Chen Fengxiang's singing is long and clear, and she is as hot as her people."

"Isn't life all about tasting and looking for different flavors? Or combining known flavors." The eldest sister said that if you have time for a while, you can pay more attention to Chen Fengxiang's footwork, "She is used to stepping on people."

That's not bad.Yuan Liu nodded, "Well done." She blushed at the sight of the big sister, and said, "It's hot".

"Why do you like to listen to opera?" Yuan Liu asked the eldest sister beside him after eating the buns.

"Well... when your life is stable, listening to opera can let you enter a brand new dream, where there are concentrated love and hatred, just stimulate your brain and tear glands." The big sister's dimples hidden, "I'm too lazy to move Going on a trip and exploring, listening to opera is just right, it suits me, of course, young people still have derivative interests, so cp." I don't know if it was Yuan Liu's illusion, but she found that her elder sister's face was slightly red.

"What about you?" The elder sister asked the little girl.

"I... I don't understand drama." Yuan Liu walked around for a long time, not because of the drama, but because he didn't want to disturb Yu Ren's rare rest day, and he couldn't find something to relax his mind.She was always looking for things that the outside world could use to divert her attention.

After this play is over, there will be another one, and after the CP is finished, there will be another pair, but the audience's problem has not been solved.She thinks, compares, and speculates... She walked from the former village in the city to the hinterland of the city, she searched for the meaning of this city to herself, and as a result, sitting in front of the theater, she was still thinking about Yu Ren all the time.

Yu Ren is the meaning of her stay in Baizhou.There has been a time difference of nearly 11 years between them, but reality is urging her: at least four more years apart.

These four years may have determined the direction of her life, and it will definitely affect the relationship between her and Yu Ren.

Does Yu Ren not care?Doesn't she feel sorry?Did she think that after the person named Yuan Liu flapped his wings and flew away from Baizhou, he could accept it even if he never returned home?There is no rehearsal in life, and every step requires its own consequences.Maybe Yu Ren is mentally prepared, but Yuan Liu is not. She doesn't need dreams outside of life, she needs Yu Ren.

One of the meanings of her life is to emit light from a certain point far away in her heart, and circle Yu Ren countless times, forming a dazzling circle of light.Indeed, no matter where she is, the purpose of the light will not change, but Yu Ren may.She is 28 years old this year, and there is no guarantee that she will meet another person before the age of 32 without Yuan Liu's company.

So Yuan Liu was afraid to leave Baizhou.

The little girl flipped through the phone's information page, and the conversation between her and Yu Ren stopped at last night's "good night". She didn't talk much recently, because Yu Ren kept quiet and didn't want to push her too hard.

Sitting with my big sister waiting for the show to start, and chatting with the actors of Bai Yue, Yuan Liu stood up 15 minutes before the opening, "Sister, I wish you a good show."

"Hey, you won't go in?" the eldest sister asked Yuan Liu.

"Compared to watching a play and dreaming, I have more important things to do right now." The little girl waved her and ran down the stairs, twisted the car lock and rode west.Passing by rows of camphor trees, mixed with holly, heather and acacia trees, the fragrance of peach blossom tulips in April rubbed into the air and got into the nose.

Yuan Liu was sweating, and when she arrived outside Yu Ren's residential area, she saw Yu Ren, who had bought a box of lunch and cold dishes, walking at the gate with a bag. Today, Yu Ren was not wearing a dark suit, but was wearing simple sportswear. Pants and a gray sweater, his steps are a little lazy, and his back is a little tired, just like Baizhou on Sunday.Yu Ren has unknowingly integrated into the city.

"Put it in my car basket." Yuan Liu's car quickly caught up with Yu Ren, and Yu Ren was a little surprised, "Eh? Why are you here, Xiao Liu?"

"I came here to tell you that my ambition is not in other places, but in Baizhou." Yuan Liu's words made Yu Ren's expression change, "Really? Do you understand?"

Figured it out.Yuan Liu said that Shanghai is very good, and Xiao Hai said that Beijing is also great, and there are many places that are more interesting and have more opportunities than Baizhou, but those are not my life.

Yu Ren slowed down, thinking while walking, her brows were furrowed, obviously she disagreed with Yuan Liu's words.

The little girl said you get in the car.Yu Ren laughed, and sure enough, the little brat couldn't hold back, and it was Big Sunday who came running.She sat on the back seat and supported Yuan Liu's waist with one hand.The little girl was riding in the neighborhood, "Sister, why are you going to university?"

In order to learn more extensive knowledge, for the initial contact with the society, for the ability to apply for a job in the future and academic diplomas...for a higher start in your future life.Yu Ren said.

What is a higher start?Did Yuan Liu mean the size of the company, the salary, or the level of the position?

"All of them." Yu Ren said.

But that's not life.Yuan Liu quickly rode to Yu Ren's downstairs, looked at Yu Ren when they entered the elevator with her, "Yu Ren, what you said is not suitable for me."

Yu Ren was silent.After entering the house, she fetched slippers for Yuan Liu, and the two of them sat down for a formal conversation. Yuan Liu swallowed, and Yu Ren pushed her some tea, "Drink some."

It could be seen that Yuan Liu was nervous, but Yu Ren was actually even more nervous. She was afraid that Yuan Liu would say, "I want to stay with you in Baizhou."

"I think... I like Baizhou. I don't have too many adventurous elements in my character. Going to other cities and universities is just like a dream to me. I still want to come back after I wake up from the dream." Yuan Liu said that you may think that I am timid, content, and have no big ambitions.My ambition is to live here.

"Your life? What do you think your life looks like? It hasn't really started—" Yu Ren's words were cut off by Yuan Liu, "It started long ago."

Yu Ren, my life is to drink tea and chat with good friends, help my mother take care of the family store, have a job dealing with writing, and be able to accompany those people I care about wholeheartedly.I don't want to stay away from here because of reading. Those wonderful things outside are not necessary for me, they are just passing scenery.

Yuan Liu always carefully avoids "you" in her object words, how could Yu Ren not see through her carefulness?

"I still feel that we have to try to experience a new environment." Yu Ren insisted.

"Zi Feiyu." Yuan Liu drank the tea, she grabbed Yu Ren's hand on the table, "Do you believe me?"

"It depends on what our trust is based on." Yu Ren moved his thumb, as if he wanted to caress Yuan Liu's palm.She lowered her eyebrows and laughed, "Xiao Liu, you are more mature than your peers. I really shouldn't preach as someone who has experienced it, and persuade you to choose according to my personal cognition. But you may also have an impulsive side, and you missed it. There is really no regret medicine."

"Have you ever regretted it?" Yuan Liu used both hands to wrap Yu Ren's body.

"I don't regret it." She doesn't regret anything she likes or loves.In the past, I only regretted that I didn't make an early effort in my relationship with Xiao Qi, but now I am relieved.

"Are you afraid that I will regret it?" Yuan Liu closely followed Yu Ren's eyes, afraid of missing any information.

Yu Ren lowered his eyes, "I'm afraid I'll regret it."

"Do you like me?" The words Yuan Liu asked repeatedly in his heart finally flowed out naturally from between his lips and teeth, "Do you like me as a lover? Did you like Bai Maosheng and Xiao Qi's sister like you did? Or, yes Nothing similar?"

"If I say it, will it affect your choice?" Yu Ren raised his lips, "The face of life is not static, and many people have not seen it clearly after ages. Xiaoliu, love is just a small part, don't use it It is used to guide the direction of life. Remember the sentence I wrote when I gave you "Sense and Sensibility"? 'Don't just read about love'."

Family and friendship, making a living and gaining ability, seeking knowledge and enlightenment, finding your place in this world, and exerting your influence, these are not as simple as love, and are as important as love.All your external objects and people around you will leave you one by one, and you will only be left with yourself.The truth of life you have to learn in the end does not lie in me, your mother, Xiaohai, Fengnian, Usheng, Yinxiu and others. It is only in your heart, and it only lies in your courage to face it alone.

Yu Ren's words made Yuan Liu speechless, and the little girl's fingers became colder and colder.

"I...I like you." Yu Ren's voice was very soft, and she repeated it again, facing Yuan Liu who was in tears, "I like you, not the kind of sister to sister, but the kind that makes me fall in love. "

Yu Ren pursed his lips and smiled embarrassedly, and wiped Yuan Liu's eyes, "I'm so much older than you, I shouldn't be indulging in the beauty you brought me and forget my responsibilities, I enjoy your tacit understanding, but I can't Take these things for granted, let alone force you to do so.”

"You should maintain a tacit understanding with me." This request is actually very unreasonable, Yu Ren said, but I have no better way to keep your fire burning within a controllable range. I am afraid that it will burn yourself. Choose a university It is one of the firewood.

Yuan Liu's tears were already streaming down happily, "You lied to me...I knew you were lying to me."

I kid you not.I'm afraid you think you see life clearly, Xiao Liu, "seeing clearly" is a dangerous state, and you must be in awe of life and life.Yu Ren couldn't help holding Yuan Liu in his arms, and her lips touched Yuan Liu's forehead lightly, "Think about it carefully, okay?"

"If I leave Baizhou, will you still like me?" Yuan Liu's tears fell into Yu Ren's neck.

Yu Ren was helpless, "I don't know." This question was also unknown in Yu Ren's heart. She underestimated the possession of emotions, and she had let go of the heavy ending before the relationship had fully begun. She completely entrusted her freedom to Yuan Liu .

"You lied to me again..." Yuan Liu hugged Yu Ren's neck and pressed her body over. Yu Ren had to inhale and retreat, but Yuan Liu kissed her on the cheek.

That kiss was not the first time it was as light as a feather, but moist and heavy, like a square seal, neatly and solemnly branded on Yu Ren's muddy heart.Then came the next kiss, which remained on Yu Ren's other cheek, this time it was heavier, and also revealed Yuan Liu's shy enthusiasm.

"I'm not lying to you." Yu Ren emphasized again, putting the back of her hand on her cheek, "Xiao Liu... If you meet someone better in the future, I will bless you..." Yu Ren's mouth was blocked by a pair of soft lips , Yuan Liu closed his eyes, as if waiting for Yu Ren's sentence.

Yu Ren's lips were also closed, she opened the distance, and she saw Yuan Liu's disappointed eyes after opening her eyes, "You are unreasonable." Yu Ren stroked Yuan Liu's hair with his fingers, the girl slightly Nod, "I know."

"I'm not forcing you to go to a famous school in another place, and I won't stubbornly believe that you will have no future in Baizhou. I just hope you can relax and don't blind your eyes because of me and choose arbitrarily." Yu Ren looked at Seeing that Yuan Liuxiang really listened, she frowned, thinking in her eyes.

The girl who thinks is the most beautiful, Yu Ren smiled, and at the same time swallowed the sigh in his belly, forget it, you tell the truth of life, you like her so much now, and she thinks about you so sincerely, then indulge once .

Yu Ren is only 28 after all, she leaned on Yuan Liu's lips, the girl's surprise turned into nervousness, she closed her eyes, Ren Yu Ren's lips were inserted into hers, the tip of her tongue was wrapped and gently released by Yu Ren's sweet lips and teeth, Yu Ren Ren finally licked her lips reluctantly, her face was already flushed, "This is me right now."

"How long will this 'now' last?" Yuan Liu was not reconciled, she bit her tongue and recollected it, "I...I forbid you not to like me, if you like me now, you will also like me in the future."

Yu Ren took off his glasses and rubbed between his brows, "It seems that our disagreement is on this point again."