About my dream of being their mother

【I'm guilty】

*

"First nightmare."

"Sakura, work harder!"

It was an old woman, holding a basin of hot water, standing in front of me.

"Tap Yingzi harder! The baby is about to be born!"

What is she saying?

after a long time.

"what!!"

That person, that old woman yelled suddenly and threw the child in her hand to the ground.

she said in horror.

"Weird...monster!"

monster?

I struggled to look at the ground, and there was a naked baby lying on the ground, neither crying nor fussing, with wide-open eyes looking at me pitifully.

He also parted his lips.

Four eyes stared straight at me.

He is so cute.

This is my child.

This must be my child.

I am absolutely certain of this.

Mother-in-law, this old woman was sobbing and crying.

He showed an extremely sad expression.

"Throw it away... Sakurako."

"Throw this child away."

The mother-in-law was crying very hard, and the four-handed child seemed to have heard nothing, and still maintained the posture of neither crying nor fussing.

"what……"

I got up and hugged my child tightly, rejecting my mother-in-law's words.

"I'm guilty."

because.

When giving birth.

I never asked his opinion.

To be born or not to be born.

In this way, I gave birth to this child.

Like a tyrannical person, with his own expectations and love for children, but ignoring his own feelings.

So, I am guilty.

so so...

I can't abandon my child, I want to raise him up healthily.

Mother-in-law, she cried even louder.

Kneeling on the ground, then saw that I couldn't be persuaded, and then left.

I just lay there, holding my baby, maybe poking his face, or maybe just looking at him.

It was about noon.

My mother-in-law opened the door and handed me a bowl of lunch.

...It's actually hard to eat, that kind of coarse grain, rough grain, cuts the throat very much.

The mother-in-law hesitated for a while, stood at the door, and finally spoke.

"Your Alang is coming to see you."

"Who?"

I asked her back.

My mother-in-law answered me again.

"your husband."

Then, when I finished eating, my mother-in-law took the bowl and left.

Aaron is here.

Surrounded by people with grotesque and funny faces, they scolded me, showing absurd and ugly looks.

"Sakura, this child is a devil!"

This man looked at me with hatred.

He is so annoying.

It's nothing more than a woman's business to give birth to a child, they are still pointing fingers here, dissatisfied with this or that, the two old men who have the ability to give birth by themselves.

I am very upset.

He hugged the child under him tightly.

The mother-in-law came in again, sniffling, and knelt down in front of me, "Yingzi, be obedient, throw the child away."

I did not speak.

Hold my baby tight.

My child also seemed to know this kind of situation, and he still didn't cry or get annoyed, and lay obediently in my arms.

"This is not a human being, Yingzi, please be more obedient and throw away the child...and give birth to a normal child with your Alang."

Look at this look.

It is very similar to what my parents said when I was young.

"Why a girl?"

"Girl... Let's have another one, I hope the next one is a boy."

And then, there is no next one.

Medical technology has advanced.

They are willing to pay a little money to see if the next one is a man or a woman.

Girl knocked off.

The boy stays.

This is the cruel law of nature.

...wait for this memory...

The mother-in-law is still calling.

"Sakura! Sakura!"

"Sakura, be more obedient, this child really can't be kept!"

"It's a monster!"

monster?

I looked down and saw my child.

Two sides, four hands.

Four hands hugged me tightly, four eyes opened wide, and one mouth parted happily.

my child,

Was he hated because he was a deformed child?

The pain I felt as a child, I don't want my children to go through again.

So what if it's a dream.

I don't want to give up my child.

They are also unwilling to accept such children.

They reprimanded me and kicked me out of the house after seeing how a dead pig was not afraid of boiling water.

The air outside is very fresh.

Very comfortable.

This kind of air full of freedom made the children laugh happily.

I touched the child's little pink hair, wrapped my child in material, and walked on the dirt with him in my arms.

What year is this?

What can women with children do if they want to earn a living outside the home?

I do not know.

but it does not matter.

Anyway, it's a dream.

No matter what you do, you end up waking up.

Walking on the road, I was stopped by a man.

"Are you going to Heianjing?"

A beautiful woman looked at me and stroked my cheek with both hands.

"Your child is so cute."

"Heianjing?"

I asked her back.

"Yes, Heian-kyo."

Covering her face with her sleeves, she giggled.

"Master Seimei there will protect you."

Fine.

Then go to Heian-kyo.

This beautiful girl pointed me in a direction.

I seem to remember the place Heian-kyo.

In the era when humans and ghosts coexisted, the place where humans and ghosts coexisted.

I decided to go to Heian-kyo.

After all, there is no way out.

Very strange hey.

Is it because this is a dream?

I don't feel tired at all, I don't feel pain at all.

Walking on the road, a doctor selling medicine blocked my way.

"Are you kicked out of the house? I have a bottle of wine here, and I can sell it to you at a discount."

"What wine?"

"The wine of eternal life."

The dream is really strange.

There are all sorts of weird people.

"I have no money."

"It's okay, I don't need your money."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to name your baby."

"naming?"

What a strange person.

Why did he have to talk about naming his own child?

Seriously, could this be a request from the husband?

I felt unreliable and rejected him.

"what a pity."

He left with a look of pity.

I move on.

Then, I met this doctor selling medicine again.

He struggled, and finally heaved a sigh of relief.

"There is no price, I will give it to you."

Before I could refuse, he put the glass full of red liquid in my arms - the child's hand.

What a strange person.

I was once more sure that he was the so-called To.

Really annoying.

"What a nuisance."

I thought so, and said so.

I tried to take the glass away, but the child in my arms was not happy, holding the glass bottle tightly with four hands, unwilling to let go.

"Would you like a drink?"

I uncapped the bottle, and there really didn't seem to be anything left to feed the baby.

I fed him an unknown fluid.

The child is very happy.

Laughed.

Babbling in my arms, so cute.

"Eat well."

I said so and fed him the liquid.

The doctor who sold the medicine saw it and wanted to say something, but in the end he only asked.

"Where are you going?"

"Heian Jing."

"Heian-kyo, that's a very good place."

"Where are you from?"

"Yes."

The conversation is over.

In fact, I have no idea what Heian-kyo is at all.

The gentleman selling medicine just looked at me quietly like this.

I can't stand it.

So I said goodbye to him and left with the child in my arms.

I don't know if the current path is the right one.

I don't know where I will go in the future.

But,

Isn't this a dream?

In the dream, I can do whatever I want.

Anyway, in reality, he will not die.

Even so, there are still some problems.

I didn't feel pain, I didn't feel any hunger or other emotions, and it was a long time before I finally realized that the baby in my arms had grown.

Short pink hair.

Four hands grabbed my arm tightly.

Unknown emotions flashed across the four eyes, and the pupils were dark.

His voice was very hoarse.

"Mother."

The child... has grown up.

What the hell was that just now?

Ripener?

If I drink it, will I become an old lady immediately?

I don't want it.

Even in my dream, I don't want to become a gray-haired old lady with a stooped waist.

"Can you walk by yourself?"

He shook his head.

Although……

won't be tired,

It won't hurt or anything.

However, you will feel tired psychologically, right?

I hold the baby.

The child is about four or five years old.

He didn't move, and he was so cute.

It's evening.

I came to a strange village.

It was empty, and looked eerie.

I stood outside the door and yelled, "Is anyone there?"

no respond.

Fine.

There might really be no one.

Although, I think the kid needs something to eat.

But in this situation, I really don't have the energy to give him something delicious.

……so be it.

Another day, another day to feed the child.

Anyway, my child is not human anymore... If it is not human, then it can be simpler, right?

I found an empty house that looked more luxurious and had less bloody smell and lived in it.

holding my baby.

dragging his body,

Kiss him on the forehead.

"Good night, my darling."

"Mom loves you."

……

……

This feeling of being surrounded by love, this feeling of being in a mother's arms.

This love, this affection—

【It's so delicious】

Then, and now, the two-faced Su Nuo finally realized that this was not a dream.

his history.

his past.

his everything.

This mother who gave birth to him, this guy, this inhuman bastard—

[Everything has changed. 】

Even if he was kicked out of the house, he still had to protect him.

Even if it becomes the current situation, it is still the same.

mother.

This is really...

I am so moved.