Please don't be so hard on me!

The TV finally reached the end of the episode, and began to put down the episode trailer. Miao Cun picked up his schoolbag: "Don't think about it so much, it's an hour, I should go."

"Are you afraid that I will pester you?" Luo Minghan sneered, "I said that I will not intervene between you and Luo Yuanhe again, you don't have to worry, I don't want you to get sick again, so as long as you are happy."

"Oh." Miao Cun zipped up his down jacket, wrapped his scarf around him, carried his schoolbag on his shoulders, and finally grabbed the sheepskin gloves that Luo Minghan gave him: "It's good that you know."

"You admitted it?" Luo Minghan asked in disbelief as he pondered his reaction.

"admit."

Originally thought it was going to be a difficult battle of persuasion, but Miao Cun simply and generously admitted it, so fast that he was a little understated, calm and unconcerned.The expected ecstasy did not appear, and Luo Minghan was quite unhappy instead.

"Since when have you been so cheerful?"

"Professor Zhou told me to stop internal friction and learn to reconcile with myself." Miao Cun shrugged while clutching his gloves: "And I admit that you can feel better."

Luo Minghan: "..."

Lily came over from the side hall: "I can't get a taxi, there are more than 200 numbers in front of me, and now it's been half an hour before I got called to number 130. I called Lao Zhou, but he was stuck in the third ring road and couldn't get off."

"It's okay, I'll walk to the subway station."

"Don't worry, it's cold outside, haven't you heard the wind? The snow hasn't stopped." Lily told him to be calm: "Wait a little longer, at most another hour."

Miao Cun could only sit down again, and took off the scarf, schoolbag, and down jacket that he had just put on.

"Lily, are you still there?" Luo Minghan asked.

Lily raised her voice and said "Hey", "I'm here."

Luo Minghan: "Why are you still here?"

lily: "..."

Well, can't we just avoid it?

"Could you tell me these things to make me happy so that I can regain my sight sooner?" Luo Minghan was full of doubts.

"really."

Luo Minghan supported his forehead with a headache, and called him "Miao Miao", his tone full of helplessness.

"Are you happier now?"

"No." Luo Minghan replied coldly.

Unexpectedly, Miao Cun was stunned for a moment, and frowned: "Isn't it what you have been asking and wanting to know, I admit it, why are you unhappy?"

"Thank you, I'm even more unhappy."

"Ah?" Miao Cun was genuinely confused: "Why?"

"think it yourself."

Miao Cun panicked.

That day, he asked Dr. Zhao, who was in charge, if it was true that making the patient happy would increase the chance of recovery.

Dr. Zhao told him the truth that Luo Minghan's blindness was multi-factorial and complicated. Now they have been using intracranial congestion to comfort him, and optimistically said that he will recover sooner or later, but in fact, no one can guarantee this matter. , and Luo Minghan's situation is not optimistic.

"So keeping him in a positive and happy state is very important." Dr. Zhao said, "If your words and deeds are really important to him, then you might as well make him happy and try to heal his trauma .”

In the consultation room that smelled of disinfectant, the young man in front of him showed a hesitant and bewildered look.

"What's the problem?"

"I don't know how to make people happy." Miao Cun said, with his face down, momentarily at a loss: "I will only make him unhappy and sad."

"It's very simple," Dr. Zhao smiled, "whatever he wants, just try to satisfy him and treat him like a child."

"Then if his eyes are healed and I leave again, wouldn't it be difficult to hurt him again?"

"Hmm..." Dr. Zhao is an ophthalmologist, not a psychiatrist. He was baffled by the moral dilemma set by Miao Cun, and after pondering for a long time, he said, "But I think, compared to emotional pain, a lifetime of blindness is more important. What is even more frightening is that when his eyes are healed, he will find that all other problems in life are nothing compared to the fact that he cannot see the light.”

Dr. Zhao finally said: "In this way, if you can't make a decision, you might as well cover your eyes and experience the three days you can't see. I believe you can make a decision then."

Early that morning, Luo Yuanhe took his students on a long trip to sketch, and Miao Cun covered his eyes with a blindfold.

This is a stupid method, both Dr. Zhao and him think it is quite stupid. Miao Cun bumped into the corner table corner cabinet, while tripping over the slipper, chair, leg easel, wanted to drink water, but couldn't find a cup, wanted to watch TV, remote control Amidst the noisy rustling, Miao Cun sat in the middle of the living room, took off his blindfold, and was surrounded by a mess.

At noon that day, he had a phone call with Luo Yuanhe, and in the afternoon, he walked into Luo Minghan's house without hesitation.

·

Hearing that Luo Minghan denied being happy, and even said that he was even more unhappy, Miao Cun found out in frustration that not only was he doing useless work, but it was also counterproductive.

"Then I come to accompany you every day, rain or shine, are you in a better mood?" Unwilling, he asked more deeply.

"Very little."

Miao Cun parted his lower lip and was speechless.

The positive effect is "minimal", but the reverse effect is obvious. How dare Luo Minghan regain his sight one day later if he stays for one more day?

"Then I won't come."

"It's not completely useless, it's better than nothing." Luo Minghan replied more coldly.

Miao Cun didn't expect that he sacrificed three hours of commuting company every day, and it became "better than nothing" in his mouth. He was really blocked for a while, and the nurses he paid for were more respected than him.After a few words, he put on his clothes for the second time, walked towards the entrance with his schoolbag on one shoulder: "Wait no more," he said to Lily, "Cancel the taxi call, I'll walk to the subway station, I'll be late." Line 7 is out of service."

Luo Minghan kindly reminded: "Put on gloves."

Throwing a pair of sheepskin gloves into his arms, Miao Cun put his hands in the pockets of his down jacket, rubbed the toes of his sneakers, closed the door and left.

Lily bent down to pick up the gloves, "You're done, you made him angry."

Luo Minghan originally just wanted to tease Miao Cun, but obviously, a blind man who can't see is not suitable for joking, because he can't see the other person's expression, so he doesn't know that his joke has crossed the line.

It was 500 meters from Luo Minghan's house to the nearest subway station. There was heavy snow and strong winds in the air, and there were few pedestrians. On the contrary, the streets were blocked by cars with red lights and horns blared one after another.The ground was wet with snowmelt, reflecting the light of the street lamps.Miao Cun walked forward with his head buried in the wind. His face and ears were frozen red. The news said that today was the coldest day in the past 50 years. He felt it thoroughly.

Walking and walking, I don't know why I started to cry, a line of hot tears came out in the blink of an eye, and the tip of my delicate and upturned nose was red.It's not crying, because the heart is obviously blocked, and there is no element of weakness.This is almost a kind of grievance.

Because he was in a trance of painting all night, he made a mistake in one stroke and the whole painting was destroyed, and he tried his best to fix it and rushed to work. The professor in the studio saw it and said that he had regressed, and reminded him not to start fooling him just because he was going to go abroad.This is a very important word, and Miao Cun has never heard it before.

The deadline for the wall painting is so tight, and he has to go to class every day. He juggles his time and moves around. Every day, he is so sleepy on the bus that he hits the glass, always rushing back to catch the subway.

In the end, Luo Minghan saw that all of this was better than nothing.

The subway passage was crowded with people, and everyone was waiting for the next train. Miao Cun rubbed his schoolbag against the wall, pursed his lips and wept silently, his wet eyelashes blurred the world.

The phone vibrated, and Lily asked politely, "Have you arrived at the subway station yet?"

Miao Cun didn't return, he threw his phone into his schoolbag, out of sight and out of mind.

"It's over, he's ignoring you." Lily added insult to injury at Luo Minghan.

"Did he get angry just now?"

"A little bit, I'm not sure," Lily recalled earnestly, "Didn't he always show no expression to you?"

"Did you bring an umbrella when you left?"

"..."

"Forget it," Luo Minghan pinched Miao Cun's gloves, preventing Lily from seeing through his remorse, and drove away indifferently: "You can go too."

"I'm waiting for the car, and there are still ten numbers left." Lily packed her briefcase and said casually, "Why are you so mad at him? If you don't come tomorrow, you won't be the one who feels bad."

She spoke unintentionally, but Luo Minghan was still thinking about what to do if Miao Cun really didn't come until he went to bed.

He should have told him that every day, every hour, every minute and every second of his visit was important, and that he could feel the presence of light now and then, and it was all thanks to him.

The next day was Wednesday, and Lily recorded Miao Cun's class schedule in her hand, knowing that Miao Cun arrived at four o'clock last Wednesday.But it was already past four o'clock, but no one showed up.Luo Minghan's ears were growing on the doorbell, but the doorbell didn't ring.

"I really won't come." Lily looked at the silent WeChat and the voice reminder that the other party had turned off the phone.

Luo Minghan looked haughty, his pale fingers clenched the cup tightly: "Let him go."

The low air pressure was too obvious, and Lily didn't dare to breathe. She remembered the WeChat message that the massage master had sent her, saying that it was the child's birthday today, and asked if she could come over earlier to give Luo Minghan a massage.Luo Minghan massages once every two days for soothing, which is also the advice given by the doctor. The master is also an old nurse who retired from the rehabilitation department of the hospital. Lily whispered to the masseur, asking him to come over now and report to Luo Minghan, but Luo Minghan was noncommittal.

The massage master had just arrived and was doing preparations when the doorbell rang again.

Miao Cun obviously ran all the way from the subway station, panting and out of breath, while taking off his scarf, he apologized to Lily: "It's late to go out, I missed the stop again, I'm sorry."

He changed into his house slippers and saw another pair of adult men's shoes, he was taken aback for a moment: "Are there any guests?"

"I'm here for a massage..." Lily followed him through the hallway to the living room on the second floor, where Luo Minghan was sitting on the sofa.

Miao Cun took off half of his scarf, stood still for a moment, and nodded: "It's okay, then I'll wait for him to finish."

Even if this is the case, he has to paint the wall painting at night until three o'clock in the morning.

Before the two of them reached, Luo Minghan heard his voice and called Lily in, "Let Master go back, I won't press today."

"Huh?" Lily and the master were both dumbfounded.

"I'm not feeling well today, take it easy."

The way he spoke was stern and uncompromising. Lily and the master looked at each other, and then looked at Miao Cun at the door together.

Miao Cun said: "If you feel uncomfortable, you need to press it."

His voice made Luo Minghan's heart tense for a moment, but his face suddenly became angry: "I said, I don't want to press it." He asked Lily slowly, "Is there any question?"

"No, no, no." Lily hastily pushed the master out, and whispered in her ear, "You always go back to celebrate your daughter's birthday with peace of mind, and today's money will be settled. You have worked hard."

There were only two people left in the living room, and Miao Cun didn't know why Luo Minghan lost his temper, so he didn't speak for a while.

Luo Minghan thought he had left with Lily, he felt relieved, let out a long breath, rested his forehead with one hand, and showed annoyed expression on his face.What is he doing?Would Miao Cun feel that he was losing his temper with him?He finally came here, and he must have been mad at him.

Miao Cun saw him wipe his face heavily, and inserted his five fingers into his hair dejectedly.

"Would you like some water?" he asked aloud, an awkward opening, but he couldn't think of a more tactful way.

Luo Minghan's body froze, "Didn't you leave?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"I thought you wouldn't be here today."

The room was so hot, Miao Cun had forgotten to take off his clothes from just now until now, and now he was so hot that he thought of taking off his down jacket, and the fabric of the clothes rustled.He rolled up the clothes, put them in a corner of the sofa in a cautious and orderly manner, and said, "If I don't have time to come here, I will ask Lily for leave. I came out late today, and I even sat down."

"Have you sat down?"

"Bus."

"Why did you sit and stop?"

What's the point of asking, Miao Cun said naturally: "Fall asleep."

"Do you go to bed late at night?"

He is always so sharp, Miao Cun vaguely fooled him: "The drawing skills I have practiced recently are quite exhausting."

He poured Luo Minghan a glass of water and handed it over, watching him drink it.

"Did you get home very late yesterday?"

Luo Minghan is very familiar with the distance between the two, even if it takes 45 minutes by car, let alone public transportation?Thinking of this level, he suddenly realized that Miao Cun came here every time by bus or subway?That's two hours, and the city's subways are so overcrowded that every ride is a pain.

"Fortunately, it's not very late."

"Lily said that you haven't answered her calls." Luo Minghan asked calmly, pulling Lily to pull the banner.

With a helpless look on Miao Cun's face, he said dejectedly, "The phone was stolen."

"..."

"I put it in my schoolbag yesterday..."

Tears flowed so much that people were stunned, and they were distracted like sleepwalking on the subway, and they didn't even know when the zipper was unzipped.Today's class is so full that he doesn't have time to buy a mobile phone.

"I thought you were angry," Luo Minghan said slowly, his voice lowered: "I don't want to come here anymore."

Miao Cun was taken aback for a moment, and didn't mention the grievance that broke his defense late last night, but said very calmly: "Although it's just better than nothing, it's also good to help you get better an hour or a minute earlier. I said However, I will accompany you like this until you can see it."

Luo Minghan's lips moved, and he was about to blurt out the sentence "talk is better than nothing", but he swallowed it again.He is a pervert, he doesn't want Miao Cun to be sad, but when he hears a trace of sadness caused by him in his voice, he is even reluctant to coax him.

He is really a heinous and humble pervert.

After another day, the snow finally stopped, and Luo Minghan was going to follow up for a follow-up visit. After receiving the notice from Lily, Miao Cun was also concerned about his recovery progress, so he simply went directly to the hospital to wait for him.The timing was not coincidental, he got out of two big classes in the department, but just after the class started, he received a tip-off message saying that the teacher had called the roll, and everyone else had taken the call. Steady was charged an absence.

Hearing Miao Cun's voice, Luo Minghan frowned and asked in a deep voice, "Why are you here?"

With an extremely unwelcome look, everyone was stunned again.

Lily smoothed things over: "I was the one who told him that your follow-up visit today—"

"When did I allow you to report the itinerary without authorization?" Luo Minghan asked coldly word by word.

Lily kept silent like a cicada, her heart trembled in fright.She doesn't know what she did wrong.

"If you don't welcome me, I'll wait outside."

"No, I'm just..." Luo Minghan said irritably, "Forget it."

The door of the consulting room was ajar, and Miao Cun did not go in, but leaning against the wall was enough for him to hear the conversation inside.

The strong light of the medical flashlight hit Luo Minghan's eyeballs directly. After repeated confirmation for a while, Dr. Zhao's voice was filled with relief: "The sense of light has been restored. This is a good start."

Lily was surprised and pleasantly surprised, "Doctor, is it true? Before that, Miaomiao asked you, why do you always say that you haven't recovered?"

When the silly girl asked this question, she understood why she was scolded today.

No injustice, she didn't realize that Luo Minghan didn't want Miao Cun to know that he was gradually getting better.

Blindness brings not only inconvenience in life and work, but also the annihilation of ideals and aspirations, and the stifling of all possibilities in life. This kind of thought is like a bunch of flames, silently licking and tormenting people every day heart.If the physical falling into darkness is only a moment, then the psychological darkness is a process of being gradually strangled and then suffocated.

However, more than a week of dark life has already caused Luo Minghan to step into a moody state of worrying about gains and losses.If Miao Cun was happier, he couldn't help but ask, are you happy because my eyes have improved, or because you can leave one day sooner?

"It's still the same, keep a positive attitude." Dr. Zhao gave him a list of intracranial reexaminations, and his tone was full of relief: "This progress is really good."

Miao Cun heard everything clearly, the corners of his lips curled up, and he left the door of the consulting room briskly and silently, and sat back on the bench outside.

While waiting for the examination report, Miao Cun accompanied him and asked tentatively, "What did the doctor say just now? Is there any good news?"

Luo Minghan neither affirmed nor denied it.

"Whether it's good news or bad news, I want to know. Of course, if you don't want to share it with me, forget it."

Luo Minghan felt sore in his heart, he almost blurted out: Why would I not want to share with you?I want to tell you first.

"I also want to be like Lily, happy for you." Miao Cun said softly, a trace of loss was fleeting, and Luo Minghan caught it.

"The doctor said it's much better." Luo Minghan held Miao Cun's hand tightly, "Are you happy?"

Miao Cun was stunned for a while, wondering why Luo Minghan didn't hide it from himself again, nodded, and said "hmm".

"Are you happy for me?"

Miao Cun gave another "hmm".

"Are you 100% happy for me?"

"of course."

"Aren't you happy that you can be freed one day earlier?"

"No."

"Not a cent?"

"Not a single point."

"When Lily was happy just now, she couldn't help but rushed forward and gave me a hug."

Miao Cun didn't know what he was talking about.

"You should be happier than her."

Miao Cun understood, and looked at the man in front of him.He has lost a lot of weight, so he looks taller and slender, with a pale and handsome face, only a trace of quiet expectation hidden in his narrow eyes, which makes him look fragile and lonely.

Miao Cun didn't know why he used to think that Luo Minghan was so strong, that he was not afraid of the sky, that he would not die even if the world ended, that he would not suffer pain even if he was stabbed in the heart, even if it was painful, he would not die. But for a while.He looked as if he was born for his career, as if love affairs were just a game to him, as if even if he showed his sincerity, it was only a little bit, even if he was abused, it would not hurt him at all.

"You look stronger and stronger than him."

Everyone in the world will be injured, suffer, and worry about gains and losses, only Luo Minghan will not.He has logic, calculation, scheming, the willpower and execution ability that never give up, and the vitality that flourishes when he sees every stitch.

So, because of that it's going to be ignored.Because of this, will you always be the one who is abandoned, the one who is compromised?

But...it turns out that he will be vulnerable too.

He would also be afraid that he would leave prematurely and clumsily hide the disguised truth, and he would be so careful to imply expectations, but because he was afraid of failing, he simply didn't say it.

Withdrawing his hand from his palm, Luo Minghan's heart sank.

But in the next second, his eyes suddenly opened wide, and the pupils that could only feel the faint light dilated slightly.

It was Miao Cun who hugged him.

Miao Cun wrapped his arms firmly around Luo Minghan, and put his face on his shoulder: "I'm indeed happier than her."

So it's more over the line than her.