Please don't be so hard on me!

When Miao Cun was a child, he liked to hold Luo Yuanhe very much. He held his index finger with his small palm, followed step by step, and did not let go until his palm was sweating.After the age of fifteen or sixteen, it is not easy for a boy to hold the hand of an adult anymore. Luo Yuanhe taught him this way, and Miao Cun reluctantly accepted this agreement.

This is the first time Luo Yuanhe held Miao Cun's hand in so many years.

Although the surface is still calm and breezy, the dust that has been silent for a long time in the bottom of my heart is still like ash on a guqin, rising with the light plucking of the strings.

It's just that Luo Yuanhe didn't expect the ashes to fall back so quickly, because Miao Cun pulled his hand out of his palm.

He was quiet and asked with concern: "What's wrong?"

Miao Cun looked up at him, didn't say a word, just shook his head.

He vaguely thought of the Yellow River, the sound of the wind blowing through the river, and the warm weather that morning.It turned out that the illusion at that time was not an illusion, but an intuition.That person is really going to leave him.

·

As the leading expert in psychiatry in China, Professor Zhou has made great achievements in the treatment and intervention of autism.He was introduced to Luo Minghan by Dr. Yu, and he had established a basic communication bond with Miao Cun in the last week in Xishuangbanna. After seeing him, Miao Cun was so nervous that he wanted to run away immediately, but when he thought of the admission notice from the French school Book, he still stiffly sat down on the sofa chair.

The communication room is made of one-way transparent glass. The family members can see everything inside from the outside, but the patients cannot see the outside. Of course, if the family members or patients request, they can also choose to lower the venetian blinds to completely protect privacy.This maximizes the trust between family members, patients and the hospital.

Luo Yuanhe stood outside for a while, his arm was bumped, and he passed a paper cup with one hand, and the aroma of coffee wafted from it.

It was coffee from the convenience store downstairs. Luo Yuanhe took it and took a sip, "Thank you."

Luo Minghan's eyes were fixed on Miao Cun's face across the window.

Three days apart, like three years, he was thinking of him in his dreams and waking up.

"Is he nervous?"

"One thing, Dr. Zhou said he was doing well, and just now praised him for being brave."

Doctor Zhou's assistant came up to greet him and comforted him: "Miao Cun is different from other patients. He shrank back after being stressed. You can understand that a tsunami in his brain and thinking flooded his reason and will, but These two things are not without, he has been established in the past growth, and now he is like an iceberg under the sea, although invisible, but still firm, so Teacher Zhou has great confidence in him."

She smiled: "bytheway, you look alike, which one is Mr. Luo Minghan in the video?" She rolled her eyes, and tilted her finger to Luo Yuanhe: "This one?"

She didn't need the two of them to answer, she already knew from her expression that she had guessed wrong.

"You look very different from the video." The assistant looked puzzled and smiled embarrassedly.

Luo Minghan didn't explain, his gaze stayed on Miao Cun's side face, he was reluctant to look away.

"How many days did you drive from Xishuangbanna to here?"

Professor Zhou chatted with him in a relaxed manner, opened Miao Cun's defenses, and did not put a computer or notebook in front of him, so as not to make him feel nervous.He wears short-sighted glasses, and his eyes behind the glasses are deeply wrinkled but kind. Realizing that Miao Cun was distracted, he lowered his face, looked up at Miao Cun from the top of the frame, and followed his movement of looking back, followed to look at that side Glass.

Seen from the room, the glass is a dark color.

Luo Minghan's eyes met his, and his whole body seemed to be frozen, stiff, only the fingers holding the mouth of the coffee cup were exerting force.

Although he knew that Miao Cun couldn't see anything.

"Oh, this is a one-way glass. Mr. Luo can see you receiving treatment from the outside." Professor Zhou pressed down on the frame of the glasses nonchalantly. "If you mind, we can lower the blinds."

Miao Cun calmly withdrew his gaze: "No need."

The person who would tell him the story of the Little Mermaid outside the door on a rainy day and watch him all night is no longer at the door.

"By the way, Teacher Zhou asked me to confirm with you, because you also mentioned Miao Cun's family situation before, so here are two options for you to choose from," the assistant called Luo Minghan's attention back. It is the one who makes the decision, "For autism, treatment and family training are indispensable, so one is that you take Miao Cun home, send him to class and interact at a fixed time every day, and when you are at home You can accompany him, and another is to have Miao Cun hospitalized, we have a full set of schedules and schedules, there will be a lot of games and interactions, you can take time to visit the hospital every day."

She took out a page from the folder and handed it to Luo Minghan, who said, "Give it to him."

"Ah, I'm sorry," the assistant turned and handed the schedule to Luo Yuanhe, "Then who are you two accompanying Miao Cun for home training?"

"Me." Luo Yuanhe said indifferently, and glanced at Luo Minghan.

Luo Minghan pinched the mouth of the paper cup tightly, his finger bones turned white.

Wow, the paper cup was pinched and deformed, the mouth of the cup popped out, the hot coffee spilled on the back of Luo Minghan's hand, and then dripped down to the floor.

"It's okay, it's okay," the assistant called to the door: "Drag the floor!"

"Autism needs all-day company. Are you free? You don't need to go to school to report, or travel to participate in exhibitions?" Luo Minghan threw the coffee into the trash can.

"No need." Luo Yuanhe said two simple words, and looked at Luo Minghan.

The assistant swallowed, and looked at the two brothers blankly.

She felt... as if they were facing each other.

"Miao Cun has a bad temper, and you need to be patient with him to coax him. He will cry and throw things in anger, and he will get what he wants immediately—"

"He was like this when he was a child, I know how to get along with him," Luo Yuanhe interrupted his questioning, "Ten years is beyond what you can imagine."

Luo Minghan hooked his lower lip, and under Luo Yuanhe's gaze, he glanced away in embarrassment and haste.

"You are willing to let me go back to the country, which shows that you know better than anyone else, who he meets in his heart, and some of them. Now that he has decided to let go, don't be so worried. I will take good care of him."

"Take care... You can't even take care of his three meals a day, so what are you talking about taking care of? You can not talk for three days while painting. Miao Cun needs your company. Can you hear his voice?"

"I don't need to paint, or I can paint with him until he gets better. Painting is the most important thing in Miao Cun's life. I can paint with him, which is far more beneficial to him than if you don't know anything. Recovery, as for three meals a day..." Luo Yuanhe hooked his lips, "It's not difficult to hire a chef from Xishuangbanna."

Luo Minghan fell silent for a moment, like the end of a crossbow, realizing an embarrassing truth——

What he can provide to Miao Cun is a housekeeper with a salary of [-] a month and a nurse with a salary of [-] a month. Only Luo Yuanhe can give Miao Cun the resonance and understanding of his soul, which no one can replace.

"Luo Minghan," Luo Yuanhe called him by name and surname: "I've said it before, it doesn't make sense for you to do this." He calmly looked at this brother who was only 2 minutes older than him.

He understands that Luo Minghan is not reneging on what he says, it's just that when people let go of a treasure in life, they will always struggle in pain.

"What do you two mean, you won't be hospitalized, right?" The assistant interrupted the strange atmosphere between the two.

"Correct."

"Okay, then you need to pick up Miao Cun every day according to the class schedule, so it's better to live near the hospital."

"I live in a college town."

"Ah..." the assistant said in embarrassment: "It's really a bit far away. It happens to be the morning and evening rush hours for getting to and from get out of class, so it will be quite congested."

In order to solve this problem, Luo Yuanhe had to start looking for a house without stopping, and he would pick him up every day before moving into the new house.The city's congestion is as famous as the haze of winter. Luo Yuanhe was stuck on the third ring road on the first day and ended up being nearly an hour late.

In fact, he had already estimated this part of the time in advance, so he dragged Miao Cun up earlier than the morning class. When he was stuck on the elevated highway, Miao Cun was so sleepy that his head was bit by bit, and he was next to the back of the chair after a while. Asleep, Luo Yuanhe turned a corner, and his head hit the glass with a bang.

"Actually, I can feel that Miao Cun's mood is not high, but he has strong willpower and wants to recover." The assistant will communicate with Luo Yuanhe about the treatment every day, "Is he still not used to getting along with you, or, Is there anything you're not happy about?"

In the communication room, Professor Zhou also asked the same question.

"This is the first time I've seen a child like you who is both negative and active." Professor Zhou always chatted with him in the tone of a child, coaxing him, "Why do you want to get better? Don't be afraid of the world after normal Loud, vulgar, and burdensome?"

Miao Cun paints with oil pastels—this is a reward from Professor Zhou. After making eye contact with people for an hour, he can play with oil pastels. "Autism is the burden."

Miao Cun said, use a small scraper to scrape out the strokes of the oil pastel.For an oil painting genius like him, this is like a small puzzle game, a little mentally handicapped, but better than nothing, it's pretty good.

"Why do you say that?" Dr. Zhou tried to make him talk.

"Autistic people will be abandoned by people. It is agreed to keep watch overnight, and he will leave before the moon goes down." Miao Cun said childishly.

The spatula opened and closed on the canvas, and Dr. Zhou finally saw what he was painting.

In the dark blue night, a small electric lamp hanging under the eaves of a wooden house glowed dimly, enveloping a figure in a raincoat.There is no moon in the night sky, only hazy rain and fog.

"You don't want to be abandoned by him." Professor Zhou tentatively spoke out Miao Cun's innermost thoughts, gently but firmly.

The scraper stopped.Miao Cun said blankly: "I don't know, I want to dream about him, but it's always someone else."

I dreamed that I was walking barefoot with others on the ridges of Banna fields, nibbling a small pineapple in my hand, and then I suddenly went to a temple where the white pagoda was turned, and the monks wrapped in yellow robes sat on the futons and chanted sutras.

"This is the Bayeux Scripture."

"Just write 'good things need to be compromised, and evil things should not be pushed away'"

"Since it's a good thing, why give it up? I'm sorry, I like to keep good things by myself."

Who is it, so arrogant and stubborn, the palm leaves cast a swaying shadow, he smiled casually, contemptuously and firmly.

"Being emotionally concerned is the biggest improvement for autistic patients." The assistant closed the medical record, "Miao Cun has begun to give emotional feedback to the world around him. This is a kind of communication between him and the world. She joked with a smile: "One of our colleagues said that Miao Cun is like a small glass figure, light and poetic, and now colorful stars are beginning to appear in this glass."

When Miao Cun came out of the communication room, the assistant stopped talking and reminded Luo Yuanhe: "Today's class is over, you can go to see the house."

Luo Yuanhe stretched out his hand to Miao Cun, but Miao Cun hesitated for a while, then took it.

The intermediary has already recommended a lot of suitable houses to Luo Yuanhe. Luo Yuanhe selected a few in advance, asked the intermediary to make an appointment with the owner, and brought Miao Cun a set to look over, with his preference as the priority.

After reading many sets, Miao Cun was noncommittal, and the agent asked patiently: "You can tell me your standards and preferences, and I will look for housing sources."

What comes to mind is a large two-story house with a glass-roofed sunroom filled with flowers and plants, an easel and a caramel loveseat.He didn't know, he had mixed Luo Minghan's villa with the loft in the university town.

Miao Cun held Luo Yuanhe's hand tightly: "It's okay, just this one, this one is bright."

Although it is said that he signed the bill and moved in immediately, it still takes some work to arrange a comfortable living environment, not to mention the doctor also said that he should try to move as many things he is familiar with to the new house, so as not to let him go back to the unfamiliar environment. .

It was already very late in October, in order not to be late, Luo Yuanhe had to wake up the next day when the sky was getting dark.Miao Cun was hanging in his arms, and he was fiddling with his collar and sleeves, looking sleepless.Luo Yuanhe was leaned into his arms, and his movements stopped, he just hugged him and stroked his black hair: "Are you sleepy?"

Miao Cun could only hum when he spoke: "Brother Luo, I don't want to go to class."

Think of it as getting up early and working late in junior high school.

After entering the communication room, Luo Yuanhe approached the assistant: "Can I be hospitalized for three days or five days? Wait until the house is completely finished."

"No problem," the assistant blinked with a smile: "It's hard to be a parent."

Luo Yuanhe smiled: "He can't wake up."

When class was over, Miao Cun was told about this, and he looked at Luo Yuanhe nervously: "Then are you coming tomorrow?"

"Of course." Luo Yuanhe didn't know why he asked such a question.

"Will you definitely come?" Miao Cun repeated.

"must."

Luo Yuanhe would never break his promise to him, this has been the case since childhood.Miao Cun played with other doctors and children after finishing the intervention course every day.He was the oldest among those receiving treatment, sitting out of place in the activity room, what he looked forward to the most was to look at the people coming outside through the glass.

This is not one-way glass anymore, the transparent and flawless windows are inlaid on the wooden door, no other children except him can see it so high.

When Luo Yuanhe came over, Miao Cun always put down the oil pastel in his hand, like a child detained in kindergarten waiting for his parents.But he was not so excited, but through the glass, from the moment Luo Yuanhe appeared from the end of the corridor, he stared at him for a moment, his heart was inexplicably nervous and hung high, until the person approached and recognized the person coming , that heart fell to the ground quietly, and then he hooked his lips and blinked his eyes very plainly.

No one knows, he always plays a game and makes a bet with himself in his heart.

The doctor chatted with Luo Yuanhe: "Miao Cun is probably not used to being hospitalized, so every day when you are about to show up, he is always nervous and lost."

He took care of Luo Yuanhe, and it was best to tidy up the house as soon as possible.

After Luo Yuanhe left the hospital, he called Luo Minghan: "Are you free tomorrow?" He thought for a while, and then asked, "Can you come to the hospital to spend a day with Miao Miao?"

The day in winter is so short, but after four o'clock, it is already sunset and dusk. The warm orange sunlight casts the shadow of the shutter pane on the white wall. From the shadow of this wall, we can see the sun It fell a few points.This kind of time is always very gentle, even the doctor's frightening white coat becomes warm.

Miao Cun looked at the slanting sun in the west, heard the ticking sound of the elevator, and looked through the glass at the corner at the end of the corridor as usual.

He put on a shirt today and put it into his trousers, then a vest and a suit, and a dark green satin tie. His coat was a straight windbreaker. When he walked over from a distance, even his shadow was full of aura and demeanor.

The oil pastel rolled down the table and accidentally broke in two on the floor.

Miao Cun pushed away the chair, took one or two steps, small steps, and then suddenly ran to the window.

The assistant was leading the way. Luo Minghan listened to her introduction of Miao Cun's recovery. Before he reached the door, Luo Minghan seemed to feel something, raised his head inadvertently, and stopped in his footsteps.

"Hey, Miu Miu came out so quickly today." The assistant called Miu Miu along with them.

She stopped bothering, turned and left with a smile.

After Luo Minghan took the last few steps, he stopped in front of the door, separated by the teak-colored door and glass.

Miao Cun looked at him, a smile gradually appeared on his face, hazy and dreamy, he tilted his chin, pressed his lips tightly, he didn't know whether to hold back the laugh or cry, just looked at Luo Minghan , frowning, but his expression seemed to be smiling.His pupils looked at him brightly, staring at him, as if he hadn't seen him for a long time, not just yesterday, his eyes blinked non-stop, his eyelashes were wet, and tears finally fell from his eye sockets.