Please don't be so hard on me!

On the national road leading to Yinchuan Airport, there were very few vehicles, and there were no vehicles crossing for tens of kilometers before and after.

Because of a night of bizarre and rich dreams, Miao Cun fell asleep on the back of the chair, with his head resting on a neck pillow, and his long black hair fell from his forehead, covering his eyebrows and eyes.He looked completely defenseless when he was asleep, his brows were not furrowed at all, and his breathing was steady and long.On the endless Gobi Desert, the barren beach stretched all over the sky, Luo Minghan slowed down the car slowly, stopped, stretched out his hand, and pinned Miao Cun's strand of forehead hair behind his ear.

He took out the cigarette from the shield, but he just bit it, never lit it, and only carefully traced Miao Cun's facial features one by one.

In fact, there are many "I wish I had known it earlier".

For example, if I had known that we would meet again, I would not have separated when I was a child. He always went to see him every now and then, made trouble when he was studying painting, bought him with snacks, and chased him after he grew up.

For another example, if I had known that I would love him so much, it would be better to show 100% seriousness from the beginning and have a frank start with him. He would say, I was a bad person before, and I didn’t fear feelings very much, but this time I want to Give it a try with you.

Finally, for example, if I had known... I would have known that Miao Cun once had his shadow in his heart, like the shadow of a tree shining on the surface of a lake. Although it was only so faint that he could only walk into his dreams by accident, he would cherish it , I will never put him under house arrest like that again, say harsh things about such a bastard, and destroy his paintings.

But the "knowing earlier" in life is always late, it is a kind of hindsight and eternal loss.

Luo Minghan's fingertips brushed Miao Cun's broken hair, he leaned over, and breathed softly in Miao Cun's ear: "Actually, my name is Luo Minghan." He said, "We will meet each other in a dream from now on."

When Miao Cun woke up, he found that the car was parked on the side of the road. What he saw was a straight road with no end in sight. On both sides were flat deserted beaches. The driver's seat was empty. He didn't know where Luo Minghan was.

The wind from the Yellow River blows in through the car window with a slit, and it dazzles Miao Cun's eyes just after waking up.

He got out of the car and looked around, but there was no sign of Luo Minghan.In this strange world, he seemed to be the only one left.

A strange panic hit Miao Cun's heart, he got off the car and took two steps, hesitating, and looked back suspiciously, thinking that Luo Minghan was playing hide-and-seek with him.

It was a panic that seemed to be left behind.

If human emotions are a puzzle, then this panic puzzle has never appeared in Miao Cun's life before, whether it was before or after his illness.

Autism is a spectrum. There are many kinds of autism manifestations in this world. Some are high-functioning, and the basic necessities of life are no different from ordinary people. Some are accompanied by mental retardation and low-energy behavior. They are both superior in li and computing power, some are cowardly and timid, others are hell, some are accompanied by violence and self-destructive tendencies, and the greatest common divisor of autistic symptoms is - don't care.

He doesn't care about the world, what happens around him, other people's concern for him, or who leaves.

He is indifferent to whoever abandons him or who leaves.

When his mother passed away, his aunt fainted from crying for a while. Miao Cun found it inconceivable. He really knew that his mother had gone to a far away place and would never see her again.

When Luo Yuanhe was about to get married, even though he was seriously ill, a voice in his heart immediately cheered him up, as long as they could paint together all the time, that would be enough.

Those cognitions and sorrows about death, parting, and loss are limited and ignorant, like a layer of fog and veil.

The fog and yarn were blown away by the wind on the Yellow River, and Miao Cun finally knew that the world behind the fog and yarn was so pale and terrifying.

The reeds by the river in the distance glowed bright white under the strong noon light. Miao Cun walked there slowly, faster and faster, and his steps became more and more chaotic. His face was expressionless and his eyes were empty. with.

Did he do something wrong?So the person who would guard him outside the door all night on a rainy day also chose to leave him.

Luo Minghan stubbed out his cigarette on the sandy beach. When he turned around, he bumped into a warm and thin body in his arms. He hugged him vigorously with his two arms, and pressed his face against his chest.

After hesitating for a while, he raised his hand to touch Miao Cun's hair: "How did you find it here?"

Miao Cun raised his face, his face was full of tears, hanging on his pointed chin, slipped behind, and soaked into Luo Minghan's shirt.

Many people with autism don't cry.

This is the first time he cried after being sick. Professor Zhou said that responding to the surrounding voices and giving emotional feedback to the existence of others is the beginning of healing.

"Woke up, you're not here." Miao Cun said simply, hiccupping while sobbing.

It really is a child, adults have already learned not to let themselves cry so embarrassingly.

Luo Minghan's fingertips were warm, and he gently wiped away his tears: "But I will always go back."

He is a cunning adult, and he also needs puns to comfort people.

He is saying, I will leave one day and return to where I should be.

Miao Cun thought, he will always come back.

Because in autumn, the water of the Yellow River is not yellow at all, but very clear, with a bluish blue color, which is surprising.On the river bank, the wind passed through the reeds half a person's height, making a rustling sound like a maraca.

When Miao Cun saw the person, his tears stopped automatically, and the two walked back slowly under the sun.

Luo Minghan smoked again and walked casually. When the two hands touched each other lightly, Luo Minghan was startled for a moment, and moved away calmly.

Miao Cun said, "Take my hand."

Luo Minghan had no choice but to hold him, with a broad palm and slender fingers, holding Miao Cun's hand in his palm with a sense of security.

Miao Cun turned over his hand, and there was a shallow scar on it, which was not obvious.

"You were injured." He grabbed his palm and looked carefully.

Luo Minghan then looked down at his palm.At that time, he was bitten like that, and kept touching the water, the scab formed and then softened, festering repeatedly, and finally, as Dr. Yu said, it was bad luck and left a scar.

He smiled nonchalantly: "A little injury."

"You get hurt back." Miao Cun must retaliate.

Luo Minghan laughed, looked at Miao Cun's innocent and stubborn eyes, raised the hand holding the cigarette, and flicked it lightly on Miao Cun's forehead: "Yes."

Miao Cun let out an "ah" and covered his forehead, not understanding him.

What he couldn't even understand was that Luo Minghan took him to set off early in the morning, saying that today's schedule was in a hurry, but now he parked the car for so long for no reason, and walked slowly with him along the Yellow River for so long.

The sun's shadow on the ground stretched again.

The caravan is clearly in front of him, but it seems that there is still a little way to go.

"Didn't you say you were in a hurry?" Miao Cun's finger was hooked by his: "Aren't you in a hurry now?"

Luo Minghan turned his face sideways, looked at him with downcast eyes: "Hurry up too."

"Are we going to be late?"

"meeting."

"Aren't you in a hurry?"

"Worry," Luo Minghan always made puns, "but we will arrive."

After getting into the car, they galloped again without hindrance, the Gobi receded, the mine came to the end, the green phantom began to slip away from the car window, and finally got on the expressway, then got off the expressway, the gate let them go, and they entered the next section of the road. high speed.

airport Express.

The phone vibrated, Luo Minghan hung up the Bluetooth headset, "I'll be right there."

Miao Cun asked alertly, "Are we going to pick someone up?"

If there is another person, he can't sleep in this car, and if he is with strangers, he will be so nervous that he will hiccup.

"I'm going to meet someone."

"and then?"

"Then go."

Miao calmed down.

After entering the airport expressway, the traffic flow suddenly increased, Luo Minghan was not in a hurry, and let other people overtake and intersperse.Looking ahead, he seemed to suddenly remember and asked Miao Cun: "Miao Miao, can you sing me a song?"

Miao Cun was very embarrassed: "I can't sing well."

"Just sing the song your mother gave you."

Miao Cun subconsciously said, "But I haven't sung to you."

Who has he sung to?Oh, it's Luo Minghan in that dream again, like someone from his previous life.

He cleared his throat, unscrewed the water bottle again, took a shallow sip, and hummed softly.Mom's ditty, the childhood time beside the spinning wheel, and the sound of Gululu's spinning wheel are engraved in Miao Cun's memory.

Amid the staccato humming of the melody, they arrived at the airport's open-air parking lot.

Luo Minghan unbuckled his seat belt: "You don't need to get out of the car, don't walk around, I'll be back soon."

Miao Cun let go of the seat belt buckle, let out an "oh" in a daze, and looked at Luo Minghan.

Luo Minghan thought for a while, as if this was a farewell.He stroked Miao Cun's hair again, his gaze shifted from his smooth forehead to his eyes, although he was ill, the inside was still as clear as a lake under the sun.From the eyebrows down, the eyes looked at his upturned nose, which was very cute, giving people a willful feeling, making people want to pet him, and finally the petal-like lips.

Luo Minghan didn't kiss him again, didn't choke up, didn't tremble, and didn't have heart palpitations, he just withdrew his hand.

In the quiet air, the plane roared and took off from overhead, and the sleeves retracted, making the sound of fabric rubbing.

The car door clicked open, Luo Minghan jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut.

He turned around the front of the car, and looked at Miao Cun for the last time from the front of the huge windshield. It was such an unremarkable look, but Luo Minghan knew that it would last through the rest of his life.

Miao Cun looked at him, and hooked his lips in a ignorant way, showing a shallow smile.

As their eyes passed by, Luo Minghan walked out of the parking lot without looking back, walked across one or two zebra crossings, and walked into the noisy international arrival hall.

Luo Yuanhe wore the same clothes as him, and even their hairstyles were similar, and they had been waiting for him for a long time.

Luo Minghan tossed him the car keys, "Let's go."

Luo Yuanhe stopped him: "Is there nothing to explain?"

"No, it's just that he is very dependent on you, so don't leave his sight easily." Luo Minghan paused: "In his yard, he has a peacock and two rabbits, one gray and one white. The house is made of wood. He likes to go to the water to see damselflies—the sort of dragonflies, and ice cream and watermelon are a must after dinner.”

"I know."

"you know?"

"He used to be like this." Luo Yuanhe hooked his lips, "It took a long time to help him get rid of it."

Luo Minghan suddenly stopped speaking.

He suddenly felt that he was really ridiculous.

"Any more?"

"It's rather self-willed, the logic of speech is very strange, I like to look at the stars..." Luo Minghan counted boredly, stopped counting, and smiled: "It's nothing, it's all things you already know."

He actually wanted to tell Luo Yuanhe that Miao Cun is very cute now, and he collected many cute moments of him, but after thinking about it, he realized that these were just the daily life between Miao Cun and him.

Ten years of daily life.

What gave him the illusion that what he saw was a different Miao Cun?He is not worthy.Even with Luo Yuanhe's name on his face, he just caught a glimpse of a little light. The ones who were really sitting under the bright light were Miao Cun and Luo Yuanhe.

"Are you going back by plane?"

Luo Minghan hummed, "Don't make him wait too long." He walked forward, and finally said: "Be careful."

The two passed by, one walked towards the upward elevator, and the other walked out of the automatic sensor door and walked into the sun.

Luo Minghan's chicness was only enough for him to last this second. He stopped in front of the elevator, like a body that suddenly lost its soul, a machine without oil, and a program cut off from power.

The elevator doors opened and closed, and the crowd entered and exited from both sides. Some people muttered irritably: "Come on, what are you doing standing here if you don't go?"

Amidst the endless hustle and bustle, Luo Minghan touched his trouser pockets, his hands shaking violently. As soon as he put a cigarette in his mouth, the security guard on duty ordered him: "Excuse me sir, this is a no-smoking area."

He bit the cigarette, raised his hand, and showed his empty palm, his teeth were shaking and rattling, the bitten pipe fell to the ground, and the tobacco inside fluttered all over the ground.

This person is very strange.

Everyone looked at him like a lunatic, on guard.Hiding, afraid that he will suddenly suffer from some kind of mental illness.

Even the security guard hesitated, staring at him with wary eyes, and moved his hands to the duty baton and the explosion-proof shield.

As expected, he was ill, so he suddenly changed direction and ran to the door desperately, scrambling and scrambling in embarrassment.