Please don't be so hard on me!

The balcony door was left open, and the forecast said that the wind from Siberia was coming down south, bringing a heavy shower.When the wind gushed in, it blew up the white gauze curtain very high, and then whizzed through the hall.

The voice in his head turned into a sharp tinnitus, buzzing in Luo Minghan's ear continuously, "You're finished." The voice said sourly and strangely, carrying the tsunami-like anger, despair, and collapse in his body, impacting him The only sanity left--

"Isn't it cool? The feeling of pulling someone to go to hell with you, isn't it so cool?"

"Don't you just want revenge on him? Don't you just want to see him cry for you?"

"Luo Minghan, you are right. Love is proved by being hurt. If he can't be hurt by you, how can it be considered love?"

"He's just a little monster, don't you just like the way he looks like a little monster? Are you right? You're right, he just doesn't deserve to be loved, a savage, uncivilized little thing, to be loved by him It's just unlucky-"

"Are you done?"

Luo Minghan raised his eyes and felt that Miao Cun was standing far away from him.

His expression was also very cold, although he was pale, but compared with Luo Minghan's exhausted and embarrassing embarrassment at the moment, he seemed much calmer.

"I have autism, but I know how to love, I know how to love, my mother taught me, and someone taught me." Miao Cun tilted his chin slightly, and there seemed to be a deep pool in his amber eyes, sucking With all his emotions gone, he stood like this and looked at Luo Minghan: "The person I love is not unlucky, I won't listen to your nonsense, I just—" He was silent for a moment, and the corners of his lips pursed into a calm arc : "I just don't love you."

All the voices in my head disappeared, and the pupils expanded with these six words, so that the whole world, the whole heart, fell into the dark void.

"I said..." Luo Minghan shook his head, trying hard to get rid of the black fog in front of him, "I won't believe it."

The black mist almost made it impossible for him to see Miao Cun clearly.

Miao Cun loves him. They spent a year together. He already knew that he was the one who saved him when he was a child. He accompanied him to see his aunt. All his secrets - life experience, illness, ugly family of origin... It is impossible for Miao Cun not to love him, and if he doesn't love him, he won't tell him these things.

They have also done a lot of absurd things. They smiled cutely and beautifully, cried coquettishly when they were hurt, and looked angry when they pursed their lips and stared at their eyes, all for him.

Miao Cun just doesn't understand love, so he can't see his heart clearly.He was doing it today to help him see clearly, maybe, maybe...Luo Minghan thought hard, the medicine he gave was too strong, and the way he used it was too drastic, that's why Miao Cun rebelled and said these words on purpose?

"Miao Miao..." Luo Minghan almost couldn't stand still, his breath was abnormally short, but he tried to smile and said with a sad plea: "Don't speak angry words."

Miao Cun paid no attention to him, and walked past him with his thin back straight.

"Miao Cun!" Luo Minghan desperately wanted to hold him back, and the voice in his heart started to entice him again: "Tell me, hurry up and say that you know his true identity a long time ago, let him understand quickly, maybe he I will still be soft-hearted towards you for the sake of the past, won't you? What are you afraid of? Why don't you dare to say it? Luo Minghan, look at your timid look, what are you afraid of?"

His teeth were clenched so tightly that his jaw was as stiff as a stone carving. Luo Minghan hugged Miao Cun tightly, and couldn't stop kissing his hair, his ears, the side of his neck, and his cheeks, "Don't go away!" , don't go, don't go..."

"Luo Minghan, we should have ended a long time ago." Miao Cun opened his fingers clasping the bracelet on his wrist, one by one, cruel and firm, "If I had a choice, I would rather not have known you before."

"Miao Cun—"

With his arms empty, Luo Minghan stumbled after two steps, but couldn't see the path under his feet at all. There was a bang sound of the door being slammed in front of him. He staggered, and was caught off guard and fell to his knees.

Only the sound of my own breathing remained in my ears, one short, one rapid, but the oxygen that the lungs can absorb is so pitifully small, "Miao Miao, Miao Miao..." Luo Minghan shouted in a low voice in a daze As he watched, his pupils worked hard to focus, and his sights finally gradually overlapped. The black mist and shadows disappeared, and he saw a world without existence.

·

The wheels drove across the asphalt road under the night, making extremely fast brushing sounds one after another.

A foot in a black canvas shoe steps towards the zebra crossing——

Di-

The sound of the horn continued to pierce the night, accompanied by a terrified "Miao Cun!"

The window of the taxi was lowered, and the driver slapped the door and cursed angrily. Xie Shanhan grabbed Miao Cun and held him in his arms: "Are you sleepwalking?!"

The speedometer on this section of the road has not been installed for a long time, and there are few people. Didi and taxis who often come here are old fritters. They know that there are no cameras, and they are so fast that they don’t even bother to step on the brakes.He saw Miao Cun stepping on the zebra crossing in a daze, and his heart jumped into his throat——

"If it wasn't for me, you would have been knocked into the air by now, you know?!"

Miao Cun blinked and asked blankly, "Why are you here?"

Xie Shanhan frowned and said impatiently: "God sees that your life is not worth dying, so send me to pass by!"

Miao Cun turned his eyes: "I should go home."

Xie Shanhan directly put his palm on his forehead: "Are you sick? You were still alive and kicking this afternoon," the words came to an abrupt end, and looked down at Miao Cun from above: "Is your partner really cheating?"

Miao Cun hooked his lips: "Yes."

"I'll take you back."

The two walked along the road, and after walking for 10 minutes, Miao Cun remembered: "It's the wrong way."

Xie Shanhan: "...Are you sure you are still normal now?"

Miao Cun said in a low voice, "I'm not normal."

It's a little monster.

They said so when they were locked up in a dark room to summon ghosts when they were young.When a person was carrying a schoolbag to and from school, the neighbor stood behind him and whispered.Luo Minghan said so.

For admitting so readily, Xie Shanhan choked on the contrary, and tacitly accompanied him to turn around.Back at the intersection where he almost died, Miao Cun stopped for a moment, and looked up at the tall buildings in the community not far away.The lights were all on, and he couldn't find the house where he and Luo Minghan lived.

After walking another kilometer, Xie Shanhan asked, "How long will it take to get to your house?"

"Five kilometers."

Xie Shanhan: "...Let's take a taxi."

Miao Cun took his hand: "Don't."

Xie Shanhan glanced at him, waiting for his next words.

"I want to take a walk... Please, just do me a favor."

He and Xie Shanhan helped each other back and forth, and it was hard to tell who owed more to whom.Xie Shanhan withdrew his hand and walked slowly with Miao Cun.

Turning into the gate of CUHK and taking a shortcut, Miao Cun received Luo Yuanhe's voice.

Xie Shanhan saw the name and remembered who Miao Cun's boyfriend looked like, but he didn't say anything for a while, seeing Miao Cun staring at the phone in a daze for three seconds, he asked him, "Aren't you going to answer?"

Miao Cun came to his senses: "Go."

"Teacher Luo."

Hearing the abnormality in his voice and tone, Luo Yuanhe asked, "Why are you sick again?"

"No, I helped my classmates in the sculpture department in the afternoon, and I was choking on dust."

Xie Shanhan was speechless, what he said was like a migrant worker on a construction site.

"Let me ask you," Luo Yuanhe couldn't laugh or cry: "Why do so many people congratulate me recently and wish me a happy wedding?"

Miao Cun: "...Isn't that good?"

"I asked a few teachers, and then Min Si..."

Min Si is the senior sister who called him Xiaoxiannan.

Luo Yuanhe asked casually: "Why did she say you told her?"

Miao Cun clenched his phone tightly: "I'm sorry, Brother Luo, I thought they all knew, so I just said it."

"Know what?"

"I know you're getting married at the end of the year."

Luo Yuanhe was quiet during the phone call for half a minute before asking word for word: "When did I say that I was going to get married at the end of the year?"

Miao Cun was stunned for a moment: "Then..."

"Who am I going to marry?"

"...Jess."

Luo Yuanhe took a deep breath: "Who told you?"

"My guess."

"Guess what!"

Miao Cun's footsteps froze, because Luo Yuanhe never spoke like this, let alone being so fierce.He sounded very angry, angry, anxious, angry.

"Miao Cun, listen to me honestly. I don't have a girlfriend, let alone get married. Jess is my classmate. I just asked her to entertain you that day. Other than that, I have nothing to do with her."

The blood was draining from the blood vessels very quickly, otherwise, his face would not have turned pale so quickly, so lifeless.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I don't have a girlfriend."

The pupils were so dilated that they lost all focus, Miao Cun asked in a tone like a walking dead: "Never... never?"

"Never." Luo Yuanhe's voice was firm and gentle: "Never."

"Miao Cun?" Xie Shanhan put his hands in his pockets and frowned tightly.

Miao Cun raised his eyes mechanically and bluntly, his eyes were empty, like a nightmare in the abyss.The eyes just blinked quickly and lightly, and two lines of tears fell violently.

How can it be?How could Teacher Luo never have a girlfriend?Didn't he rekindle his old relationship with Jess as soon as he arrived in France, Jess is not the goddess of his student days, didn't he still draw her?

Luo Yuanhe has never had a girlfriend...then what is he doing?What has he been doing with Luo Minghan all this time?What did he do...

One year is very short, and in another week, when Luo Yuanhe returns to China, he will confess his love to him... This was his initial plan, because at that time he thought that Teacher Luo also liked the same sex, and at that time he naively thought it was too much After a year of parting, it was enough for him to see clearly whether he relied on Teacher Luo or loved him—he would be more courageous, firmer, and better able to love.He even practiced the words of confession a hundred times——

"Brother Luo, teacher, I like you, I have always liked you, since I was 17 years old,... maybe 16 years old, I have been secretly liking you. I like you, every day you are in France, I am Miss you. Do you like me? Even a little bit is fine. If you don’t have a little bit, then... will you hate me?"

If Mr. Luo said yes, then he would run far away, and when he didn't hate it, he would come closer little by little.

If Mr. Luo says no, then he will try again, work harder, and turn "don't hate" into "like" bit by bit.

If it is so coincidental, Mr. Luo said, I like you too, then he will work harder and live his life slowly little by little.

However, if these are gone.He dated Luo Minghan for a year, and his sweetheart's elder brother for a year. They kissed, slept with each other, met his parents,... and he was also moved, thinking of Luo Minghan only as Luo Minghan.

It was too late...he had no time to go back.

"—Miao Cun?!" From the corner of the eye, Xie Shanhan caught a glimpse of the thin figure crooked, and Xie Shanhan's whole body trembled.

Long-term irregular diet, staying up late, staying up all night, malnutrition, and not laying a good foundation when I was a child, all the evil results exploded at this moment.Xie Shanhan patted his face, cursed "fuck", and answered the phone: "Professor Luo, I'm Xie Shanhan from the sculpture department. Miao Cun fainted. I'm taking him to the hospital now."

·

A faint smell of disinfectant can be smelled in the breath, coughing can be heard in the ear, and further away, there is the sound of the TV broadcast, and the host is reading the local news.The hood of Xie Shanhan's sweater was pressing down on his face, and Da Ma Jin Dao was sitting with his legs crossed, with a small book spread out in his left hand, and he was reading with an irritable expression.

Miao Cun coughed and struggled to sit up, but hissed in pain.

Xie Shanhan withdrew the book: "Don't move around, it's infusion."

Miao Cun turned over and turned his back to Xie Shanhan: "Thank you."

Xie Shanhan looked at his back covered by the thin blanket, and said without beginning and end: "This is not a small hospital, you can rest assured."

Miao Cun laughed with tears in his eyes, the tears slid down his cheeks and into his tightly pressed lips, hot and salty.He raised the back of his hand and wiped away the tears vigorously, again and again until his fingers were wet.

"Your teacher cares about you very much."

Miao Cun gave a nasal "hmm".After that, no matter how the nurses fed him medicine, gave him infusions, changed medicine bottles, and pulled out needles, he no longer had any reaction.Xie Shanhan went out in the middle of the night and brought back a thick coat and a portion of porridge, but Miao Cun didn't move.The emergency room does not accept hospitalized patients. After dawn, Miao Cun finally hung up five messy bags of medicine, and Xie Shanhan wrapped his coat around him, ready to send him home.

"Take me back to the dormitory." Miao Cun said flatly, "Don't go back to the villa."

Once he goes back, he might see Luo Minghan waiting for him again.He no longer has the extra energy to deal with him, let alone what mood he should use to face him.

"I'm sorry, the doctor said that you need someone to take care of you in this situation," Xie Shanhan opened the taxi door, "I'll give you two options, one, go back to my dormitory, and two, go back to my rented house. The male dormitory of our Department of Sculpture is famous If you don’t look slovenly, I suggest you choose two.”

Miao Cun didn't make a sound, Xie Shanhan took it as his acquiescence.

The taxi passed the deserted, titular villa area, passing the black Land Rover.

It was five o'clock in the morning, and the red star was still shining in the car. Miao Cun just glanced quickly along the speed of the car, and then closed his eyes.

Luo Minghan waited for him for another night, so what.

Xie Shanhan's house is newly rented. He lives on scholarship, part-time job, and helper in large-scale sculpture projects. I bought the first floor of a self-built building in an urban village.

The living room was so full of plaster that there was almost no room to step in, but the bedroom and bathroom were tidy.Miao sat down next to his bed, and Xie Shanhan stood, probably feeling that the situation was weird, even a person as indifferent as he was down to the bone couldn't help scratching his face, "What... you sleep here, I sleep outside."

Miao Cun didn't talk nonsense, but took the initiative to ask: "Transfer the money from the hospital to your WeChat?"

Four hours before class, Xie Shanhan folded his arms outside and fell asleep leaning against the wall.Of course, I couldn't sleep soundly in this position, and I heard Miao Cun turn over and get up in a daze.Through the half-open door, he saw Miao Cun standing in front of the window with his head up, his hands propped on the cold window sill, and he stood there quietly for more than ten minutes.

The moonlight is not very bright tonight.

Xie Shanhan packed up at eight o'clock and was ready to go out. He stood by the bed and said to Miao Cun, "Go to sleep, I have something good to see you."

Miao Cun, who pretended to be asleep, smiled.

I fell asleep to the point of unconsciousness, and heard a familiar voice in my dream.

"I spent a whole night in the hospital last night and didn't sleep much."

"Let me see."

There was a sound of light footsteps, and the quilt was gently pressed down by a pair of hands, revealing Miao Cun's sharp chin.The side of the finger slid across the pale cheek, bringing a warm caress.

Miao Cun frowned lightly.

"The doctor said nothing happened, it's just that he suffered some kind of mental shock, and his energy has been low." For some reason, he didn't say that Miao Cun was "broken in love".

"Thanks for your hard work."

"Who are you taking away?"

Miao Cun felt being picked up from under the quilt, and a steady "hmm" sounded next to his ear.He opened his eyes, and the figure in front of him gradually overlapped with the one in his dream, "Luo..."

"I woke you up." Luo Yuanhe booed, "Follow me home."

Xie Shanhan put his hand to his lips and coughed, feeling uncomfortable all over his body.

Because I found out that he had fainted in China, I dropped the finishing work that was already halfway through, flew back to China ahead of schedule, and then went straight to pick him up from the airport non-stop—this matter would happen to a couple. It makes people feel that the love is so incredible, but the two of them are teachers and students in name.

Luo Yuanhe ignored Xie Shanhan's meaningful gaze, hugged Miao Cun into his arms, and nodded to Xie Shanhan: "When Miao Miao is well, let him treat you to dinner."

The car was waiting outside, and Luo Yuanhe walked steadily but wide, as if he was afraid that Miao Cun would get a little bit of wind.

Luo Yuanhe didn't have much experience in taking care of people. After he settled the person in the second bedroom, he closed the door, called a doctor friend, and asked Luo's mother.Mother Luo asked in surprise: "What, you returned to China? When did it happen? Why didn't I know?"

"Just landed three hours ago."

Mother Luo yelled three times in a row, angrily: "Luo Yuanhe! You didn't even know you were back when you returned home!"

"Take care of the students."

Luo Mu said earnestly: "Don't make moral mistakes, I warn you!"

Luo Yuanhe was obviously silent for a moment, took a shallow breath, and said calmly: "I know."

Mother Luo felt relieved and reminded a few precautions and taboos when taking care of patients. At the end, she said annoyedly: "It's really impossible, send it to your home, and I'll take care of it for you! It's your child who was brought up since childhood... Really, it’s been ten years and I don’t know how to bring it back to see you.”

For Luo Yuanhe, these ordinary people's human relationships and sophistication are like established circles and well-established programs. He operates everything subconsciously based on his growth experience, which can help him consume the least amount of mental energy and concentrate on it. Focus more on art.

Bringing Miao Cun home was not originally a matter of consideration.He has his own family. Although he lived alone at a young age and spoke innocently and strangely, maybe children don't like such an extra love from elders.

If you grow up a bit, it doesn't seem necessary to take it home.Just as the two of them just called each other during Chinese New Year to say “Happy New Year” and “Have you started setting off fireworks there?” Miao Cun would say, “The fireworks here are very beautiful.”The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, Luo Yuanhe has never thought that maybe Miao Cun is staying in his small attic, alone, from the small window of the attic, the fireworks can't actually be seen.He just heard it and imagined it was beautiful.

It's not that Luo Yuanhe didn't see some obvious doubts about Miao Cun, he just didn't like to spy on them in the name of caring.When Miao Cun wants to share, he will say it.He never thought that for a person with Miao Cun's personality, what he thought in his heart was that if Teacher Luo wanted to know, he would take the initiative to ask, and wait for him to ask before talking, otherwise wouldn't it be embarrassing for the teacher?

Two souls who are naturally tired of socializing, even though the gears are turning together, they always miss the most perfect fit.

Luo Yuanhe smiled: "I'll bring him back to see you when he recovers."

Mother Luo didn't care much about this matter, what she cared more about was, "When will I bring my girlfriend back to see me so I can feel at ease! I'm 30 years old!"

After hanging up the phone, I wanted to see if Miao Cun had kicked the quilt, but unexpectedly caught him with his eyes open.

"Can't sleep?"

Miao Cun narrowed his eyes and dared not look at him: "Isn't Jess really your girlfriend?"

Luo Yuanhe sighed softly, and sat down on the edge of the bed: "Why do you think Jess will be my girlfriend? Just because I painted her?"

"Think you'd like her that way."

Luo Yuanhe covered his face with the quilt, and leaned down: "You don't know enough about what I like."

Miao Cun pulled back the quilt warmly, but Luo Yuanhe had already walked away, with a suave and casual back: "Good night."

Although every time I go home, I will inevitably be nagged about marriage, but I still have to go back.Luo Yuanhe went home for dinner the next day, because he was officially returning to China, and it was rare for the family to reunite, so Luo's mother called Luo Minghan back.

The last time I returned home was also in a hurry, and the two brothers hadn't met each other. At this moment, they got off the car one after the other at the gate of the courtyard. Luo Yuanhe smiled first: "Why is it such a coincidence?"

Luo Minghan looked at him steadfastly, looking at this face that was exactly like his own.

When I was a student, even if I was in a different class in high school, people who wanted to date Luo Minghan were far more likely than Luo Yuanhe. Most girls thought that Luo Yuanhe was too quiet and indifferent, and there was no need to keep talking. Well, the game is not falling, but it doesn't prevent him from writing casually to get a few years before his age. If he just brushes up the competition training camp, he will be the first in points. He is blatantly rebellious and rebellious.

Luo Minghan had been looking at him for so long, but Luo Yuanhe was the first to notice something was wrong: "Didn't you rest well recently? His face is so ugly."

"fine."

Mother Luo came out to welcome Luo Yuanhe, stood on tiptoe and hugged Luo Yuanhe: "Little white-eyed wolf, you only know how to draw! Now even your student is more important than me!"

Luo Minghan's eyes moved, but the simple word "student" was enough for him to make all the noise.

Luo Yuanhe leaned over to embrace her, and said helplessly with a smile: "Okay, I was wrong."

Because of the posture, the buttoned shirt sleeves were pulled up, revealing the bracelet on the left hand—and the red string.

Father also greeted him, and patted Luo Yuanhe on the back.Amidst the joy and harmony, Luo Minghan stared at his own brother's wrist.

It was a bracelet that was exactly the same as the bracelet he gave to Miao Cun. It was a red string that Miao Cun cherished as a treasure and was left to him by his late mother. One year later, there would be one less.

He thought it was the most precious thing in Miao Cun's life, and he would never give it to anyone.

Who... Who dared to ask him for it.

And who...is it worth tying it for him with his own hands.

"I went to the store just to clean and maintain, not to buy anything."

"Ah, by the way, a boy bought this bracelet last week, and he still has one on his hand, so ours is really popular."

"Birthday is nothing, just accompanying a child to sell paintings in Montmartre until midnight."

"He flew to France to celebrate your birthday?"

"Um."

……

"He gave you a present, didn't he?"

……

Lucky rubbed against his leg, Luo Minghan lowered his head, squatted down slowly, and put his hand curled up in pain on its obediently pouting head.

He is just a thousand arrows piercing the heart.

So it's hard to stand still.

Once the chef was gone, Mother Luo began to show her true colors again. Fortunately, after years of exploration, she still left a few special dishes that were not so unpalatable.Luo Yuanhe is not a picky eater, he is far less picky than Luo Minghan in life, but he is used to it.

When the mother saw Yuangui's son, the more she looked at her, the more she liked her, and the more she looked at her, the more she felt sad. She looked at her and started to plan ahead: "You don't want to go to France again, do you?"

Luo Minghan stared at Luo Yuanhe.

"I will go again."

"It's decided?" Mother Luo became flustered, "You don't want to notify me of any decisions you make!"

"I didn't plan it at first, but since the students got the admission notice, they just happened to stay in France together." Luo Yuanhe was calm and breezy, with a smile on his face.

"France, France, I get a headache when I hear France now." Mother Luo propped her forehead and sighed: "You go, my good daughter-in-law will go too."

"Daughter-in-law?" Luo Yuanhe was stunned, and when he understood, he looked at Luo Minghan with a half-smile: "Don't tell me, it's the vocational school student you showed me the painting before."

Luo Minghan's eyes were strange, and he curled his lips briefly, "It's him."

"Are you serious this time?" Luo Yuanhe teased him with lingering fears, "No one will come to the Academy of Fine Arts to block me this time, right?"

"No," Luo Minghan said coldly and word for word, "We love each other very much."

"He's a good boy. He spent the Chinese New Year with us. If you want me to say that you can deceive such a good boy, it's because I pray to Buddha and recite scriptures and Bodhisattvas every day to bless you!"

Luo Minghan smiled: "Indeed, this kind of fate can't be done later."

Luo's mother is a person with a strong sense of family values. When the topic came to this point, she wanted to meet up: "I said, bring Miaomiao back some other day, and our family will have a meal together."

"...Miao Miao?" Luo Yuanhe did not respond at all as Miao Cun expected, but instead smiled casually: "What a coincidence, my student—"

"No need," Luo Minghan slowly turned the ring between his fingers, it was a new one, "They know each other."

Luo's mother was stunned, she and Luo's father looked at each other, then turned to Luo Minghan: "Know each other?"

Luo Minghan stared at Luo Yuanhe's froze expression for a moment with heavy eyes, and said cruelly and happily: "I really know, Miaomiao—Miao Cun, is the student he brought up since childhood."