Please don't be so hard on me!

Luo Minghan smiled at him, and then tried to cover up his explanation: "... I didn't know you would come today."

Aunt Qian was very discerning: "I told Miaomiao that you have a social event today, but you, why did you suddenly come back at this time?"

Like singing a double reed, Luo Minghan casually made up a reason: "The time has changed."

Miao Cun nodded lightly, turned his face away without saying a word, and continued pulling out the remaining nails.Luo Minghan threw down his gloves while walking, and before he could even take off his coat, he squatted down: "I'll help you."

As if seeing this painting for the first time, he showed just the right amount of stupefaction and surprise, "Is the person you painted... is it me?"

"do not know."

Luo Minghan was hurt by his indifferent tone, so he could only smooth things over by himself: "It's not me, could it be Luo Yuanhe?"

"Also a possibility."

Luo Minghan smiled and took the vise from Miao Cun.Miao Cun's hands were so cold, colder than a vise.Without hesitation, Luo Minghan hugged his palm: "Is it cold?"

"Physical reasons."

Not only does he have cold hands and feet in winter, but he also develops chilblains if he is not careful. These are all problems left over from childhood.The problem has existed for a long time, and he no longer thinks it is a problem. Although Luo Yuanhe never forgets to take care of Miao Cun to wear gloves to protect his fingers, he often doesn't think of it until the winter is over and his hands are full of frostbite when sketching.

Miao Cun twitched his hands, but didn't twitch. He turned his face away puzzled, and looked up at Luo Minghan.

But Luo Minghan didn't look at him, but maintained the posture of holding him with one hand and pinching the vise with the other, slowly picking up the small nails.

Miao Cun twitched again, but Luo Minghan still didn't let go, and even tightened his grip, but he still stubbornly didn't look at Miao Cun or meet Miao Cun's eyes.

It seems that as long as you don't look at him, you can maintain this ostrich-like tenderness for a moment.

Miao Cun paused for a moment, bit his lip with a cold face, and twitched harder.But he failed, this time, Luo Minghan suddenly dropped the vise, knelt down and pulled him into his arms recklessly, hugging him tightly.

It was too quiet, the sky was completely dark, the wind blew the glass windows and made a small noise. In the kitchen, soup was simmering on the stove, and the air bubbles in the earthen pot burst the air. Aunt Qian leaned on the countertop, talking with the chef. speechless.

That hand was always held in Luo Minghan's palm, tightly pressed against his heart. Miao Cun could only beat and push his shoulder with one hand, but Luo Minghan buried his face in Miao Cun's neck, breathing into his chest. The eye sockets are unbelievably sour at the moment of the taste.

His confinement was so tight that it hurt Miao Cun.The punches and kicks in his arms became more violent, Luo Minghan said nothing, but Miao Cun pursed his lips, and his breathing gradually became rapid.Suddenly, there was a short groan of pain, and it was Luo Minghan who bit Miao Cun's shoulder through his clothes.

In the pain, he was stunned, and the strength of resistance seemed to be removed from his whole body. After pushing twice, he finally gave up the resistance, and was completely embraced by Luo Minghan stiffly but obediently.

The wind is still blowing, and the snow should be heavier. Through the lighted windows, you can see the feathers gently drifting past.

Probably because the scene without sound for too long was too weird, Aunt Qian couldn't help but took a few steps, stuck out half of her head from behind the French-style Chinese-style screen, and looked at the scene in the glass studio.

Kneeling Luo Minghan hugged Miao Cun who was also kneeling.

But apart from hugging, he didn't dare to make any other moves.

I don't know how long I hugged, it must not be long enough, Miao Cun finally said: "Let me go."

"Have you watched the video Xi Xiaohan sent you?"

"No."

"Why don't you watch it?"

"Not interested in."

"Let's take a look, okay?"

"Don't bother me, and don't let Xi Xiaohan bother me."

"I can't control him."

"Take care of it."

"I can't control my ex-boyfriend."

Miao Cun fell silent.

Luo Minghan panted for a short while and laughed, "Do you have to take this painting away?"

"Or throw it away."

"Is there no third option?"

Tired of dealing with him, Miao Cun said indifferently, "You can deal with it yourself."

"Can't stay here and finish painting him?"

"also."

The eyes that had been dull all this time were lit up by these words.

"I can draw it tonight. If you like it, keep it. If you don't like it, I'll take it away."

"..." Luo Minghan hooked his lips inexplicably, and said very gently, "Miao Cun, do you know that your words hurt people?"

Miao Cun did not answer, but lowered his eyes.

"But it's okay, starting today, I can bear all your indifference and all your unsound words."

"I do not need."

"I want to give it to you."

After maintaining the posture for too long, a feeling of numbness appeared in his calf, and Miao Cun frowned, and gently pushed him again: "Get up, your leg is numb."

Luo Minghan laughed aloud for his words, and he didn't know what was funny, but he didn't let go, instead, his arms clasped Miao Cun even more tightly, and his broad palms pressed inseparable fingerprints on his clothes.

His face was pressed deeper into Miao Cun's neck, and his laughter was muffled inside.

Miao Cun felt that he was sick, so he pushed him again, this time he easily pushed away, and wanted to get up, but the numbness like ants gnawed on him instantly seized his consciousness... Instead, he fell back and sat down.The moment he was about to fall, Luo Minghan quickly protected him with his eyes and hands, and caught him behind his back.

An embarrassing depression appeared on his cold face, and when he raised his eyes, he found that Luo Minghan's breath was on the tip of his nose.

The courage in his heart kept surging repeatedly, until finally a meager amount had accumulated, and Luo Minghan tentatively stretched out his hand and stroked Miao Cun's cheek.

After touching it, I feel that it is not enough, and I want to push it even further.He maintained the weird posture of kneeling on Miao Cun's body, and wiped his fingertips under his eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

Of course, "No."

After Luo Minghan listened carefully to the refusal, he turned his face and kissed Miao Cun gently.

The lips parted slightly, but the person did not leave. When speaking, the tip of Luo Minghan's nose seemed to touch the side of Miao Cun's nose.He asked again: "Is it really not possible?"

If the floor was a carpet, it would have been wrinkled, and if it was a sand pit, it would have had deep fingerprints, but the floor was just a floor, providing warmth, making Miao Cun's unconsciously curled palms moist.He lowered his eyes, maintained a restrained indifference, and still said the three words: "No."

Luo Minghan stroked the side of his face and kissed him more deeply.

While kissing, he rubbed the corners of his lips and the plump lower lip with his thumb vaguely.

The soreness passed, Miao Cun pushed him away without hesitation and got up, leaving Luo Minghan kneeling on the spot with one hand propped up, for a long time, he smiled silently and self-deprecatingly.

Miao Cun quickly removed all the nails, rolled the canvas softly and carefully around the axis, and stuffed it into the painting tube he brought with him.

In the silence came the disgusting sound of gasps, snorts and kisses.Miao Cun's body froze, and he didn't look back for a long time.

He had heard that voice once before, and his face was expressionless the whole time, just after Luo Minghan said he broke up on the night he landed in China from France.He thought this was the reason why Luo Minghan said they broke up, it was very sufficient and reasonable, and Miao Cun also felt that he and Xi Xiaohan were a good match.

But this time the audio is longer than before.After the gasp, there was refusal and desperate clinging, as well as Luo Minghan's gritted teeth "Get out" when he heard his unconsciousness.

"Why go away, didn't you wait for him?" Xi Xiaohan panted and laughed, "You haven't played enough? I admit, I'm really jealous this time...Luo Minghan, stop playing." He Beg Luo Minghan.

There was a long silence, until the suspicion was over, and then came three simple words: "It's not for fun."

The audio ended here, and the room fell into silence again.

Luo Minghan gently put his phone on the table, "I just want to tell you that I have not cheated on you...I can't prove it to Luoluo. Even if I pull him in front of you and let him tell you, you probably won't believe me."

Miao Cun carried the painting tube on his back, and the black shoulder straps slanted across his chest, just like the appearance when he first met outside the banquet hall.He then began to pack paints and other painting utensils indifferently, picking up what he saw and throwing it into his schoolbag, "You don't need to prove this to me, I've said it, I just don't like you that much, so if you say break up, I'll just break up with you." Not to mention," he paused, his tone softened, "you look so miserable."

Luo Minghan couldn't understand: "Since you can see my pain, shouldn't you...shouldn't you break up?"

"Your pain is a burden to me, and I don't want to bear your pain." Miao Cun rolled up the oil wax leather brush layer by layer, and wrapped it around the buckle, "I'm very selfish, I just want to enjoy The love and care that you have so far, you see us as a game, I am actually happier. But you have crossed the line, I have told you a long time ago. If you don’t break up now, you will sooner or later You will suffer even more then."

A sense of absurd powerlessness suddenly appeared in his heart, Luo Minghan licked his lips without emotion, staring at Miao Cun's silhouette, "You mean, because I can't afford it, you have to end this game early."

"almost."

"What if I can afford it?"

Miao Cun looked back at him, although his expression was still the same, but his eyes were full of astonishment.

"What if I say, I can afford it?" Luo Minghan repeated word by word again.

The usually indifferent person hesitated for a while, feeling embarrassed and self-reproaching, "Brother Luo, don't act like this... I have nothing to like, and I'm going to France in the second half of the year—"

"Just play until you go to France, can't you?"

Miao Cun opened his lips, looking at this familiar face, he felt bewildered.

"You have nothing to like, and my likes are nothing worthy of your burden. You don't have to take it seriously." Luo Minghan leaned on the armrest of the sofa, crossed his long legs, and his tone became playful, "We happened to be together six years ago. Yue, I haven't slept with you yet, you've made me lose face."

Miao Cun pursed his lips, turned around coldly, and started tidying up again.

"Would you like to talk to Guan Yingtao? I will give so much likes to anyone who is interested in me. I am surprised that you are so serious." He smiled, "You know, it is because of this that you seem You are very simple, they all know that this level is just a play on the occasion, just to make the love experience of two people better."

Because he urgently needed to find something to do, he had no choice but to pick up the cigarette case, took out the cigarette and lighter from it, and took a deep sip with his downcast eyes.His chest rose and fell, and with this puff of smoke, he suppressed the dull pain in his heart.

Love is really a strange thing, sometimes you have to pretend to love very much, and sometimes you have to pretend not to love.

When you pretend to be in love, it is for being together, and when you pretend not to be in love, it is also for being together.

But pretending to love is simple, but pretending not to love is very difficult, as if pouring a glass of water that is already full, controlling it at any time, and walking on the edge of overflowing.

Miao Cun frowned lightly: "I don't understand." His movement of packing things slowed down, "You mean, you don't care about me as much as you show."

"It's only within the boundaries that you feel safe, not even close to your warning line." Luo Minghan held a cigarette between his hands, curled up one lip stubbornly, but his eyes did not want to miss the slightest bit of his reaction.

Miao Cun felt truly bewildered.He really doesn't understand love, and Yan'er always asks and hugs him worriedly, like asking herself, and also like asking Miao Cun, without the ability to love, how will you live such a long life?

"If you don't know how to love, you can live a good life?"

"People who can hug and love may suffer a lot of injuries, but those who don't know how to hug and love will lose more and more."

She grabbed Miao Cun's fingers and put them into the fire.

At first, the tongue of fire licked his finger, and he was so numb that he couldn't feel it, until his brows were furrowed, and a piercing pain pierced through him, and he withdrew his hand desperately.

"pain."

Mom took him again, put his fingers into the cold spring water, on the silky brocade, and finally pressed his fingers to her warm lips.

"It's like the touch of a finger. If it's gone and you can't feel pain, that's good, but Cuncun won't be able to feel these cool, slippery, and warm things, and you won't be able to feel the wings of a butterfly. the ear of an elephant, and the feather of a peacock."

Feeling the love for Luo Yuanhe from the heart is the proudest thing Miao Cun has done in his life so far.

That summer, he ran barefoot to his mother's grave at the speed of the wind.

Panting, he told her, I have learned to love, Mom, I really want to hug him.You see, I have learned to love, and I have the right to be hurt ever since.I would love it, not a monster.

But regarding love, Miao Cun had to admit that he still knew very little.He learns love, observes love, imitates love, tries to love, harder than he did when he spoke.

How could there be someone like Luo Minghan?

Miao Cun was genuinely confused.But Luo Minghan's appearance was full of careless determination, as if he was saying, you little fool, this is not a great liking, and only you, a congenitally deficient and ignorant little patient, would regard it as a great thing.We normal people are very smart and know that these likes are not worth mentioning.

It's like a poor man picking up an earring studded with rhinestones. He doesn't understand, he even thought it was some kind of precious diamond, so he stayed where he was in fear, afraid of delaying the owner.

In fact, it is just a rhinestone that others lose at any time and don't bother to get it back.

Luo Minghan dusted off the cigarette ash, and said lightly, "Just let me accompany you until you go to France."

Miao Cun stuffed the last album into his schoolbag.This was his own, and he didn't take away any book or item Luo Minghan gave him.After packing everything, he put his schoolbag on one shoulder, "Brother Luo, I really don't understand you."

"You don't need to understand," Luo Minghan smiled, "because I don't understand myself either."

Miao Cun brushed past him, full of peace.Seeing that he was about to walk out of this studio, the calmness he had just now was completely shattered.The soot fell into a bunch, and Luo Minghan uncontrollably hugged Miao Cun from behind: "Don't go."

"It's late, I should go back."

"Don't go, say that the breakup is my drunken asshole, it can't be counted. Just pretend... just pretend it didn't happen, just pretend you didn't see these three words, okay? Just pretend it didn't It happened,... don't go."

Miao Cun hesitated for a moment: "Is what you are doing now...is it also fake?"

His heart suffocated suddenly, Luo Minghan closed his scorching eye sockets, "It's fake." He even smiled, "But don't say it, it will be boring if you say it."

"Even if I don't care about you and don't like you that much, is it okay?"

"It doesn't matter," Luo Minghan said in an unbelievably deathly silent tone, "I wish for it."

Miao Cun's eyes drooped slightly, as if he was sorting out the emotions and reasoning.

"Didn't you say last time that you are happy with me? With me taking care of you, you can concentrate more on applying to study in France. Miao Miao, you must not want me to miss you, right?"

Miao Cun gave a quick "hmm" this time.

Of course, he wished that the day when Luo Minghan left, his memory would be erased automatically, and everything about him would be forgotten.

"If you leave now, I will never forget you." Luo Minghan said recklessly and firmly.

Miao Cun became confused and dazed again.

"If you can't get it, you will never forget it. If you leave now, it's like you were having fun playing the switch but suddenly the power went out. Would you feel very itchy in your heart and want to restart quickly and continue playing? If you pass the level, You will turn off the phone yourself, right? That’s the reason. Don’t let me obsess over you,” Luo Minghan’s seriousness and fallacies are both fake and real, “It’s not fair, and you will owe me, and you definitely don’t want to owe me.”

Miao Cun: "..."

Strangely, he seemed to be persuaded, and started to have trouble with it.

"Don't go." Luo Minghan maintained the posture of hugging him from behind, "When the day you go abroad, I will happily send you away in person, and then wait for you to send me two cards every year, and I will just take a look at them casually." , and throw it in the trash."

Miao Cun hooked his lips.

"I thought of giving up that day."

"Which day?"

"The day we were together. You didn't call me to come over. I gave up after seeing that sketch." Luo Minghan lied to him.

The pupils dilated with these words, and Miao Cun was engulfed by a huge guilty conscience and a tsunami of self-blame.

He used Luo Minghan to protect Luo Yuanhe.

The reason for using him is because he is always chasing him and stalking him to plot evil.

Anyway, Luo Minghan just wanted to play with him, tease him, and covet novelty, so if he used him, it would be considered even.

The body is the price of this sacrifice.

Now Luo Minghan told him that he had already given up, it was Miao Cun's wishful thinking and his own strength that pulled him into the vortex of this game.

Then... He did owe Luo Minghan, and Luo Minghan became a victim.

Miao Cun didn't want to owe anyone, even if it was the old professor's two potted flowers, he later sent a painting to him, and his intention and value far outweighed it.

The body was stiff, but a kiss suddenly fell on the ear.Miao Cun shuddered in shock, long and fine tremors leaking from every bone seam.

Luo Minghan kissed him, his arms became tighter and tighter, his schoolbag fell to the ground with a bang, Miao Cun closed his eyes and raised his neck.

His face was tanned pale by the light, his young Adam's apple was rolling up and down, Luo Minghan's hand was scorching hot, and he pinched it so precisely and gently.

"Miaomiao, come back to me."