Red dust kills beauty

33. You in my eyes ①

I was chased out of my territory like a dog by the SDF.

At that time, the captains of several teams devalued me from the beginning to the end as if they were holding a criticism meeting. They almost shaved my head and spit on my face.There are also various deputy teams and elites watching in the back, and they look like I am some kind of heinous sinner.

I thought to myself that as expected of Yanbei, the tradition of political struggle has a long history, and even such a new force that has been established for less than 20 years has learned a set of tricks.

At that time, I looked at the faces off the field with blurred facial features, and only the faces of fanaticism and anger remained. In addition to being cold, my heart was cold.Maybe it's a weak word to say that, but I do feel sad.

—I am a man without a home.

It's a bit wrong to say that, after having Ning Hongchen's memory, I don't even know if I'm really a human being.

Whether it's me as Ning Hongchen or me as Zero, I don't really have any big ambitions. All I want is a family.

Back then, Fu Baixue and I were tired of fighting and killing, so we both wanted to disarm and return to the fields.After deciding to quit the mercenary business, we had a drink together and planned to go our separate ways after drinking.

When the wine is hot, it is inevitable to ask each other where they are going.At that time, Fu Baixue and I were dead partners, and there was still a tacit ambiguous feeling mixed in. His deep eyes were steamed with a layer of water, even if I knew it was an illusion, I always felt that he It's because I can't bear to bear with me.

I leaned on the wine table and propped my head on one hand: "I don't know. I have no future and no home. I just follow the example of ancient martial arts novels and wander the world alone. This sounds pretty cool—you Woolen cloth?"

Fu Baixue played with the small knife I gave him, the sharp blade shone with a white cold light between his slender fingers.

"I plan to go back to my hometown. I haven't been back for more than ten years. I heard that the last batch of local armed forces have also crossed south. Now Yanbei is in chaos. I have to go back and have a look."

"Then I wish you the best of luck. Maybe one day I pass by Yanbei and I can go to see you."

Fu Baixue put down the knife and looked at me, hesitant to speak, but then hesitant: "There is something I have been thinking about for a long time."

"?"

"Do you want to go to Yanbei with me?"

I forgot to drink the beer I picked up: "Huh?"

"Since you have no background and don't know what you are going to do, why not come with me. Treat my home as your home, and my home as your home. From now on, everything I own will be yours. It can be divided in half."

"..."

Thinking about it later, I, who have a reckless style, seemed to be completely locked in by this man Fu Baixue at that moment.

Fu Baixue has done everything he can, regardless of wealth, status, power or honor, all are shared with me.He didn't break his promise, and I really regarded this place as my home.

And now, I'm kicked out.

In fact, I can’t say that I haven’t thought about this situation. After I got the memory, I guessed that there would be such a day.I just didn't want to believe it, and I didn't want to face it squarely, so I kept procrastinating until it really came to me.Only then did I realize that compared to my physical strength, my mind is really weak.

...I'm such a useless piece of trash.

I wandered outside for an unknown amount of time before I calmed down and returned to Shuilongpo.

At this time, it was getting late, and Zhaoyao's brand-new small building could be seen from a distance with lights on, probably waiting for me to return home.

I stepped over the threshold and saw the two brothers sitting in the hall.Seeing me appear, their faces showed the same concerned look.

"..."

What I am wearing today is a blue satin gown, with countless flowers and plants on the shoulders and back, it is extremely beautiful, and it was also a gift from Fu Baixue - in the entire Yanbei, I am probably the only one who can wear such flowers.

He is a clumsy man, since I came to Yanbei with him, all my food and clothing expenses are the same as his. Naturally, he also has a symmetrical style of this dress.

Every time I change into new clothes with him and walk around the market, although Fu Baixue doesn't say anything, I know that he is actually very happy.

However, I have been wandering outside for too long, and now late autumn has passed, and the frost and dew are heavy, and there is a lot of moisture on this clothes.Wu Shang is a very careful person, so he unbuttoned the buttons, took off my outer shirt, and put on the home clothes for me.

Zhaoyao came over and squeezed my cold hand, and asked me if I was cold.

"..." I stared at the coat that was casually placed on the stool, without saying a word.It was given to me by Fu Baixue, and I have worn it for many years, which belongs to the second-in-command logo of the Self-Defense Forces.

At that moment, I never realized so deeply that in fact, I no longer had to look for a home.Because I already have a home.

Be it the Self-Defense Forces or Fu Baixue, I should let it go.

The first step of letting go is to face up to one's unlucky fate and try to break the shackles of fate.

Different from the confusion and escape after knowing everything in the past few months, even for Zhaoyao and Wushang, I have to struggle a bit, and I can't just accept my fate like this.

It doesn't matter if I die, but Zhaoyao is still so young, I still want to see him grow into the handsome big boy I remember little by little.

The same is true for that bastard Wu Shang. Wu Shen's life made him half-step into the abyss. If I die in front of him again, what should he do?

I used to sneer at the "how am I supposed to live without you" bullshit until I met the Witch Merchant.If he turns into the crazy look I remember - although I don't want to admit it, I will feel very distressed.

After careful consideration of the cause and effect, if my death was caused by a backstab by the Self-Defense Forces, then what I have to do now is to stay away from the Self-Defense Forces to ensure safety. It can overwhelm me!

So, I took a moment to talk about the results of my being kicked out, and then I was ready to persuade the brothers to move.

Shuilongpo is really not suitable for children. For various reasons, the three of us had to live here for a year.But now that I'm free, I don't have to continue to live in this kennel which is very close to the base of the Self-Defense Forces.

I thought it would take a lot of effort, especially Zhaoyao, who still has feelings for Shuilongpo.

Unexpectedly, as soon as I started a conversation, he said without hesitation: "Okay."

I slowly: "...?"

I don't know why this kid suddenly changed his temper, but it would be better if he let it go so simply.Seeing me laughing, the witch merchant was a little unhappy, he dragged his voice, and started to be angry again: "Brother~brother—why don't you ask my opinion?"

Zhaoyao took the lead and couldn't help but say: "Hey, it's not that you said that you want to—"

What do you want?What kind of monster is the witch merchant going to do?

I looked at him sensitively, the witch merchant slumped, and slapped Zhaoyao on the head: "Shut up."

Zhaoyao probably knew she was wrong, so she covered her head and shut up obediently.

After the two of us finished our work in the evening, I asked the witch merchant, "What are you planning?"

His originally soft expression disappeared, and he asked me expressionlessly: "What plans can I have?"

I realized that my tone was wrong, and just as I was about to make amends, he added with a sneer: "That's right, I'm the kind of person who thinks about conspiracies every day, so it's no wonder you think so."

...I can't answer this question.

Since I said he was dirty last time, the atmosphere between us has become more and more rigid. Now if we want to chat to death, we only need two sentences.

I don't know why it became like this, and I actually didn't want to, but seeing his smiling face and those soft words, I couldn't say anything.

I can calmly say a hundred good things about the witch merchant in front of Zhaoyao, but when facing the witch merchant himself, I can't say a single word.

I turned over and pulled up the quilt with my back to him: "... Whatever you think."

On the day I left Shuilongpo, I never expected that there would be a battle of seeing each other off from ten miles away.

In fact, our family is different in Shuilongpo. Many people don't understand why we have the strength and connections, and why we have to stay here all the time.Just like when you are hungry and cold, there is someone eating and drinking next to you, it is annoying to everyone.

In the end, there were quite a lot of people seeing him off, especially many children who had been taken care of by Zhao Yao over the years.It's quite strange that the bastard Wu Shang who doesn't speak human language was also seen off by a pair of twin teenagers who were about the same age as Wu Shang.

One is called broccoli and one is called cauliflower.

I wondered why the name sounded so familiar.

The girl next door, Beta, didn't do business either. She just wrapped herself in a sheet and came here with a low-quality female cigarette in her hand.She casually lowered her head and took a puff, then sighed by exhaling smoke rings: "It's time to go."

Zhaoyao is probably the one who is the most reluctant to part with, who looks back three times at every step, I deliberately teased him: "If you don't want to part with it, let's go back again?"

He shook his head, with firm conviction in his eyes: "No, I have more important things to do than them."

...So, what is it?

I have been in Yanbei for so many years, and I still have some connections.I bypassed the people of the Self-Defense Forces and bought a very rich house.Because in a short period of time, I don't want to see the face of anyone in the self-defense force, so my new home is located on Yu Jingchun's territory.

Considering that witch merchants don't like old things, I specially chose a villa with a trendy style and decorated it in a modern style.

After moving to the new home, Wu Shang didn't react much, but Zhaoyao, a little bumpkin, was stunned.

He walked around the new home several times, and was surprised. When he found out that a training ground was built underground, he was even more elated.

"Now, some people don't need to go out for training."

I deliberately emphasized the pronunciation of "certain people", and the witch merchant looked up at the sky, with an expression that the wind was too strong and I couldn't hear it.

Cut, you bitch, keep pretending to me.

Zhaoyao didn't understand what I meant at all, and nodded repeatedly. I saw him so happy, and suddenly my heart moved: "If you like this place so much, after I'm gone, this house will be yours."

When this villa was first built, I always felt that something was wrong, it seemed very familiar to me.

Then I took out the map, compared it with the route in my memory, and as expected, I came to a conclusion—if the house is renovated, and the next block is demolished to re-plan a new road, then this is the house where Zhaoyao will live alone in the future .

When I discovered this, I wanted to laugh and sigh, fate seems to be an invulnerable ring.

In Greek mythology, because King Laios was afraid of the oracle, he threw Oedipus, the son who was prophesied to kill his father and marry his mother, with his ankle pierced and thrown into the forest.Because of this, Oedipus was adopted by King Pelops of another country. When he grew up, by chance, he killed his father and married his mother. After learning the truth, he hanged himself.

I couldn't help but wonder, did the series of actions I took to escape my fate actually contributed to this fate?

Zhaoyao didn't know my psychology at all, he happily accepted the gift, but the witch merchant next to him didn't look very good.I thought he was upset about why Zhaoyao had a gift but he didn't. When he mentioned it that night, I thought it was coming, he was going to quarrel with me again.

Unexpectedly, the witch merchant didn't care about a house at all, but asked: "What do you mean by 'wait until I'm gone'?"

I was immediately stopped by his question, and in a hurry, I could only say: "I just thought of it, so I just said it casually."

"Really." He obviously didn't believe it, and stared at me with dark eyes, "You know, the teacher once said that to me, and then he..." He struggled to put the word "death" into words. Swallowing the words, "...disappeared."

The witch merchant has been treated as PTSD.

Heartbroken, I held his hand: "Xiao Shang, I won't die."

At this moment, I suddenly understood what my future self was thinking when he said this.

For the first time, I took the initiative to cater to him, and sat up straight, enduring the terrible touch that seemed to be piercing through my stomach, I put my arms around his neck, and repeated it again.

"Even if it's for you and Zhaoyao, I won't die easily."

The solid ice in Wu Shang's eyes shattered and turned into clear water, like tears.He suddenly choked up and hugged me even harder.

"You are not allowed to lie to me again... I have been fooled once, you can't lie to me a second time."

I ruffled his hair.

"it is good."

The relationship between me and the witch merchant seems to have finally passed the awkward period and is developing in a good direction.

Time passed quickly, during this period, Zhaoyao's stature jumped a bit.After his last back molar erupted, it also seemed to indicate that the late bloomer had entered puberty.

I have found that once children enter the formative years, they become sensitive and thoughtful.This is probably the theorem that even Datiao such as Zhaoyao can't escape.

I was looking out into the sun one day, trying to sew for the first time.

The table was full of scattered cloth strips and measuring tapes. I was in a hurry with my long hair and couldn't move my hands. I called the witch merchant to come over and tie my hair.It turned out that I grew my hair because it matched Fu Baixue's clothes, and later I grew it because the witch merchant liked it.Because it was all for him, so when he snatched the hostage from under the scissors, he promised in one voice that he would be solely responsible for my long hair in the future.

Seeing that he is quite happy, I have nothing to do. Now, as a full-time cook, I have to call him whenever I want to braid my hair. It seems to have become a habit.

Suddenly there was a gentle tugging sensation on the scalp, but the technique was very unfamiliar. I felt that something was wrong. Looking back, I saw Zhaoyao standing behind me, who had jumped a bit, combing my hair carefully.

That clumsy and gentle movement reminded me of a big tiger gently sniffing a rose.

I looked up at him.

The little boy was uncomfortable being watched by me, and coughed: "What's wrong?"

I smiled, feeling infinite emotion in my heart, and finally it turned into a long and gentle sigh: "Azhao, you have grown up."

"Then..." Before Zhaoyao finished speaking, she was interrupted by a gloomy voice.

I saw the witch merchant with a dark face, poking his head out from upstairs, staring straight at Zhaoyao's hand, as if he wanted to focus his eyes and burn Zhaozhao's claws through.

"—what are you doing?"

Next chapter: Me in your eyes②

Fu Baixue asked: "Do you know how I felt when I returned to Yanbei in a hurry, but I couldn't find you anywhere?"

The author says:

Bai Xue is coming again!

In Volume [-], the house where Aning moved to live with Zhao Zhao is this one.

That's why the witch merchant was so surprised when he heard that the two of them were living together.