When I put on the savior vest

Ye Qing dreamed about the memories belonging to 'Trash-Ke' again.

This time he was different from the youthful and energetic feeling before, but as if surrounded by a swamp, he was struggling to breathe in the world.

(The following is the first perspective)

Under the glare of the sun, he was wearing black clothes, holding two photo frames in his hands, standing in front of the wreath, looking down at the ground under his feet.

Surrounded by people who also wore black clothes, there were people of the same age as him, and there were also older workers.

Why is it like this?

He was thinking, looking at the floor in front of him, he heard messy voices in his ears, and consciously felt like a hollow in his heart, with nothing and nothing to see.

"Hey, poor child, it happened at such a young age."

"No, it's really a crime."

"What a poor family, hey."

There were sounds coming from around, but he couldn't hear them, or heard them, and didn't understand what they were saying.

'buzz buzz'

There was ringing in his ears, his body seemed to be nailed in place, and the black photo frame he held in his hands seemed to become one, turning into a black boulder, pressing down on him.

Why is this happening?

Why?

He thought in a daze, oh, yes, it's because of money.

In order to treat his mother, his father asked those people for money. Those people borrowed money from his father in the early years. At that time, the family was still rich and his mother was healthy, so thinking about the principle of helping if he could, his father borrowed money. .

But it has not been returned until now, so my father went to find them.

He turned his head slightly, and the people around him came into view. Their faces were all serious, but there was not much sadness.

No one really feels bad about it, right?Everyone just comes and goes through a process.

Only him, only him, sad?

Someone walked up to him, and a light fragrance came.It's the head teacher.

"**" she said in a low voice, "Don't be sad, the teacher will help you."

Why do you want to help me?He lowered his head, thinking in a daze.Originally, Ling Guang's head looked like it was made of wood, and it seemed that someone saw something in his mind.

But the body opened its mouth as if it had an autonomous reaction, and said in a sad voice: "Thank you, teacher, for your concern."

"I will work hard."

"..."

"Hey, that's good. If you have any difficulties, tell the teacher and I will help you."

difficulty?What's the problem?His eyes moved, and he glanced to the side unconsciously, but quickly retracted.

"Ok."

The body automatically completes the dialogue as if programmed.

Then the footsteps sounded away, and he still stood where he was, only feeling that the person was getting farther and farther away from him.

It's so strange, why can she say something like that?

He thought so.

How can she help him?How would she help him?Does she know how she feels?Can she guarantee that she will be like this in the future?

So shameless.He thought about it again, and he was really ashamed.

Others kindly came to help him, but he questioned her like this.Obviously it is a heart-warming thing, obviously it should feel hopeful and warm.

but why?

He finally raised his head slowly, in front of him were two black coffins, the lids of which were opened, and his parents were lying inside with peaceful expressions.

But why?Why am I not in a bad mood now?

It's like a black hole, sucking in all emotions, whether it's negative or good before.

I don't even know how I feel right now, so why do everyone act like they feel the same way?

Because such a scene should be sad.When people die unexpectedly, they need to mourn.

But why were they so calm before, thinking that it is not something to be shy about borrowing money and not repaying it?

Ah, forgot again.Someone paid it back.

It was just because an accident happened when the father came back.

The perpetrator was a rich second generation. After the accident, he ran away in fright. It was late at night, and few people passed by that road. When his father was found, almost 10 minutes had passed.

Later, after the perpetrator was caught, he cried and begged for forgiveness, and he could pay as much as he wanted.

He thought for a long time and chose to forgive.

Because of the death of his father, his mother's critical condition deteriorated rapidly, and he needed compensation for surgery.

But still no use.On the third night after her father's accident, her mother also left.

It is because of this accident that he is standing here now.

As if something was flowing in his heart, he turned his head and looked around.

Some people were talking in low voices, while others stood there with expressions of compassion.Not far away, there was his class teacher, who watched worriedly from time to time, and there were also people walking towards him.

"**ah."

This is an old man in his 60s and [-]s, with a Mediterranean look and very simple clothes.With a sad expression on his face, he sighed deeply.

"I am really sorry."

As he said this, he seemed to have thought of something, showing a more sad expression, and opened his mouth several times, but he didn't know how to speak.

"I discussed with your aunt, if you want, we can adopt you."

"I will cover all the expenses after you, and treat you like a family member."

He looked at the middle-aged man in front of him.His face was sincere, and it was obvious that he was speaking the truth.

This person was the last family my father found.Because of family difficulties in the early years, I borrowed [-] yuan, and later because of my son's affairs, I never paid back.

But when his father asked him, he returned it.Plus interest, I paid back [-].

There is nothing wrong with him.He issued an IOU, because the family was really difficult, so he had been unable to repay the loan before. When his father asked them, they gritted their teeth and returned it.

This is a family of kind people.

But, when he looked at the person in front of him, he thought of his father's face, which was simple and silly.

Even though he said so, after a year, when he thinks about what happened today, he will just sigh and say something like 'it's a pity'.

There is no way for people to have the same experience, and it is impossible for your thoughts and emotions to empathize with others. They just feel that they should be like this in specific scenes and specific things.

"Thank you uncle." He replied: "But I'm almost 18 years old. Compensation from my parents."

He paused, then said, "I'll be fine."

"..." The man looked at him for a long time, then sighed again, and patted his shoulder: "If you have any difficulties in the future, just come and find uncle."

He nodded and said in a low voice, "Okay."

After that, people came to him one after another, including his father's colleagues and leaders, his mother's friends, and several teachers and classmates from the same school. All of them looked sad, and what he said was encouraging. discourse.

He answered one by one, not knowing what expression he had, nor what mood he was in.

All funerals are similar, and the process goes quickly.He has been silently listening to other people's condolences for their parents, watching them cremated with a photo frame, and finally put into the columbarium and buried in the selected cemetery.

A person's death can be completed within one day.

The next day, everyone will usher in a new beginning.

Only he won't.

He refused everyone's company, and returned home alone at night, looking at the familiar furniture, he only felt peaceful in his heart.

Everything in the house is the same as before, there are large and small burlap bags everywhere, and small handmade objects on the table.

These were all collected and planned to sell in order to earn a little money.

"what......"

He made a meaningless sound, watching everything calmly.

"It's a dream."

As he said so, he walked to the sofa not far away and sat down, looking straight into the distance.

He wanted to recall, but found that he couldn't think of anything in his mind.There are no happy things, and there are no sad things. He sits here alone, as if nothing has changed.

He finally understood that in this world, he was always alone, everyone would leave, and no one could really understand you.

Power and desire flow among them, and all communication must be profitable.

Some are just for pure material things, and some are for themselves.

He leaned on the back of the sofa, looked at the lights on the top, and smiled slowly.

His eyes were dark, his eyebrows stretched out, the bridge of his nose was straight and straight, and the corners of his mouth curved into a smile, and he said softly, "It's so painful."

The deeper he smiled, the corners of his eyes felt dry.

But the desire to speak could not be stopped, and he kept saying, "It's so painful."

"It's so painful."

But why do I smile?

"It's so painful."

Obviously I can't even express my own feelings, but you all want to pretend to understand me?

"Everyone will be so painful, I just experienced it earlier, right?"

No one answered, but he laughed even deeper.

"No, everyone laughs so happily. I'm the only one who suffers."

Three days later, he reappeared in school, went to and from school as usual, and quietly completed all his homework.

The head teacher once asked him to talk, and he responded calmly.

"Teacher, I've already figured it out. Don't worry, you don't need to worry about me."

Seeing him like this, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief slowly, and said with a smile, "I'm relieved if you can come out. The college entrance examination is coming soon. Don't be too sad."

"Working hard to get into a good school is the right thing to do."

He nodded and smiled: "Well, I know."

Then they chatted for a while, and he answered each of them.Everyone felt that he was better, and he himself felt better.

On the day of the end of the college entrance examination, he finished the last test, looked back at the candidates who kept walking out, and left without looking back.

After that day, there was no ** in the school, the head teacher couldn't find him, relatives and friends couldn't find him, and the uncle couldn't find him.

He left nothing behind, took nothing away.

Until five months later, a liar named *** appeared.He is good-looking and young, with a flirtatious yet talented demeanor. When he looks at people with a smile, he always seems to be able to touch the depths of people's hearts.

He found all kinds of people and befriended them with strange behaviors, and then he was hated because of all kinds of troubles.

When he was poor, he took advantage of his good appearance to buy expensive clothes and pretended to be a down-and-out rich businessman to find someone to invest in.

No one knew that when he was alone, he looked at the white wall and smiled familiarly.

All are liars.

Obviously can't feel it in my heart, but I have to show an empathetic expression. In the final analysis, everyone is only myself.

I am also a liar.