[Attack on Titan] We will go back to our hometown to get married after defeating the giant

"Alan, Alan? Are you there? I brought you food."

"come in……"

After hearing the response, Mikasa opened the curtain and walked in with food, and said with a worried expression: "You can eat as much as you want, if you continue to be so hungry, your body will not be able to bear it."

"Thank you, Mikasa." Allen, who was lying on the table, turned his head and smiled at her reluctantly, "Just put it there, I will eat it later." He looked at the empty table and said.

"You said the same thing last time. What happened? I went to patrol and came back and you didn't eat a bite." Mikasa frowned even more when she heard this. Her tone was a little tough, and she put the food in front of Alan. He said sternly: "Don't try to fool me this time! I'll just stare at you and eat it."

"...Sorry, Mikasa," Allen sighed, knowing that he couldn't hide it, so he said helplessly, "I really don't have an appetite now, you should take it back."

"You haven't eaten three meals already, and if you count this meal, you will have four." Mikasa's face was dark and her voice was a little loud, "Are you trying to starve yourself? If this continues, you won't be able to drive the giant out." , I’ll starve to death first!”

"I know you care about me, but..." Allen opened his mouth, but he didn't say anything. He sighed, "I know, I will eat." He sat on the stool and saw each bite. The food on the dinner plate was stuffed into his mouth, he swallowed it without even chewing a few mouthfuls, finished the food on the dinner plate in two or three bites, and handed it to Mikasa, "It's over. "

Mikasa felt a little sad looking at Alan like this, but she also felt that it was better than eating nothing, so she didn't say anything else, took the plate and said, "I'm going to Captain Hanji's place later, you stay alone Are you okay?"

"What can I do?" Allen waved his hand indifferently, "Do you think I'm a three-year-old? Go fast."

Mikasa looked at Alan who continued to lie on the table, sighed, picked up the plate and left.

Allen closed his eyes, pretending not to hear Mikasa's sigh.

He knew that everyone was worried about him, and he also knew that nothing should happen at this juncture.But his father's death hit him really hard.He once said he was going to kill him, and then he really died.How is such a thing possible?He still can't believe it.

"...Mom..." Alan felt his eyes were a little hot, and he couldn't help himself from crying.

Mom was devoured by giants, so he swore to drive them out.What about Grisha?Is it because I have been so aggressive all the time, and I have been blaming, resenting, and unforgivable him all the time, so... that's why I died?Thinking of this, Allen couldn't help feeling chills all over his body.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

A cold voice rang in his ears, Allen raised his head and looked behind him.The tall figure of Ames stood beside the curtain, frowning slightly, looking at him quietly.

"Ames..."

Allen yelled softly, subconsciously carrying a little grievance in his voice, which softened Amus's cold and paralyzed face a little.

"What's the matter?" Amus hadn't thought about coming here at first, but just heard the girl named Mikasa worrying about Alan's condition with another person, so she couldn't help but come over to have a look.Looking at Alan's flushed eyes, and the obviously choked voice, he couldn't help sighing.

"No," Allen shook his head, hesitated for a while, got up and walked in front of Amos, reached out and grabbed Amos's hand, and paused, "You...don't go, okay?"

"...Ah," Ames obviously didn't expect Allen to say this, and he hesitated for a while before replying. He looked at Allen's slightly trembling hand and held it behind his back, "Don't worry, everything will be fine." OK."

"I want someone to accompany me, otherwise I will always think wildly." Allen relaxed and leaned against Ames' arms, and murmured, "I'm about to collapse, Ames..."

"Just because of your father?" Amus frowned slightly, even though he didn't like Grisha Yeager very much, and he didn't agree with his actions, and even wondered whether his senior brother and Allen were him My own, but this kind of words can't be said anyway.

"I think he was killed by me..." Allen shrank back, a little scared, "I think...it's all because of me..."

"Why do you think so?" Ames' tone became a little harsh, "You know it's not the case, Alan, stop thinking like this."

"I can't control it..." Allen was in some pain, "Ames, what should I do...why do people around me have misfortunes, mom... friends... brother... now even dad..."

"Have you always regarded the death of others as your own responsibility, Alan?" Ames held Alan's face with his fingers, looked at the tears on his face, and said in a dissatisfied tone, "You always Thinking of yourself like that, excluding us all, carrying such a heavy load alone?"

"Ames...I don't want to..." Allen shook his head and hugged Amus' waist, "I didn't think about it...but my head always doesn't listen to me...I said to put the giant Expulsion, in fact, everything is resolved by you... I am not as good as Mikasa, nor as smart as Amin..."

"Never compare yourself with other people, Alan." Ames put his arms around Alan's head, with bulging veins on his forehead, but he endured it and said patiently: "That's fundamentally wrong." .”

"...I don't know." Allen seemed a little tired, with a tired look on his face.

Ames was a little unhappy, obviously not very satisfied with Allen's perfunctory answer.

"Ames, I'm tired, will you rest with me?" Allen didn't want to discuss this topic anymore, "I don't think about anything now, I just want to have a good sleep..."

"Are you still having nightmares?" Ames asked immediately.

"I don't remember..." Allen rubbed his head, "I'm confused, I just can't sleep well..."

"...You're always like this," Ames carefully looked at the thick dark circles on Alan's face, and frowned again, "Did you not sleep all night last night?"

"Yes, but I don't know why, I'm just tired." Allen leaned against Ames with his eyes closed, looking really tired.

"That's because you are too nervous and always thinking about messy things." Ames said coldly, took out a can of things from his pocket, poured it into his hand, and wiped it on Allen's temple.

"...What is this?" Feeling the chill on his forehead, Allen narrowed his eyes comfortably.

"The essential oil that the master asked to make." Amos picked up Alan and put him on the bed. He took off his shoes and sat on it. He put Alan's head on his lap and rubbed it patiently. Infused with herbs for relaxation."

"...It's so comfortable..." Allen was already drowsy, "...It feels so good to have Amus here..."

"Really?" Arms paused, and asked nonchalantly, "What if I'm not here?"

"...Don't say such scary things," Allen muttered, "It's scary just thinking about it."

"...Oh? Why?" Amos had a faint smile in his voice, "Don't you still have a senior brother?"

"... my brother was taken away by... the captain..." Alan's tone was very dissatisfied, obviously he still had resentment for his brother being taken away, his consciousness began to blur, "...uh... ...Arms and brother ... are not the same ..."

"What's different?" Ames asked tentatively.

"...Brother is...Brother..." Allen said intermittently, his voice getting smaller and smaller, "Amus is...of..."

"What?" Ames didn't hear his last sentence clearly, and wanted to ask more carefully, but found that Allen had fallen asleep.He couldn't help but chuckled and shook his head, "It seems that I can have a good dream tonight."

He carefully moved Alan's head to the pillow, carefully covered him with the quilt, and looked at Alan quietly.After a while, I finally wanted to leave. Just as I left the bed, Allen frowned immediately, "Ames..."

"Aren't you asleep yet?" Amos raised his brows slightly, and when he got closer, he realized that he was talking in his sleep.

"...Don't let me go even in my dreams."

Even after saying such words, Amos had an almost doting look on his face.

In the end, he still didn't leave, took off his coat and climbed onto the bed again, who was next to Allen, carefully protecting the boy in his arms, guarding him like a treasure.

Mikasa saw such a scene from the opened curtain.

The young man I cherished was curled up in the young man's arms like a child, with a comfortable and satisfied smile on his face.And the young man with his back to her, even though he couldn't see his expression from the front, from the way he patted the young man's back and carefully protected the young man in his arms, all showed that he attached great importance to the young man.

Mikasa lowered the curtain slowly, clenched her fists slightly, even though she was a little bit unwilling, there was nothing she could do.

The cherishment of Allen, she has.

She can even say that she puts Alan at the highest level in the world, because Alan represents the whole world in her heart.For Allen, she can confidently say that she will not lose to anyone.

But what Ames had was exactly what she didn't have.

Allen's dependency.

That was something she would never have.

Mikasa has always known that Allen has always regarded her as a family member, as someone who should be protected.For Allen, she is a sister, a sister, a friend, but never a lover.

He can quarrel with himself, complain, and even seem to complain, but he never intends to rely on her, no matter how strong she is, she can't change this fact.

Gender is the biggest failure in her life.

Because of this, Allen will never rely on himself.

"If...if... I was a boy..."

Mikasa murmured, clenched her fists tighter, looking unwilling.

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Mikasa [murderous]: Hand over the back of your neck! ! !

Mouxuan [holds head]: Help ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah