Looking forward to the stars

Seeing that Xiao Yu hadn't returned for a long time, Zhan Chen came out while putting on his clothes. When he saw the familiar person standing outside, he was stunned for a moment, then became excited. Thinking of what he said yesterday, he suddenly became flustered again, because he forgot Explain to him that it is rare to come to him in person, and he buttoned it up and came out.

"I forgot to call you, tonight..."

Before he could finish speaking, Feng Fan pulled his arm and walked away. He was a little flustered. Feng Fan looked very angry, and he was dragged, but he didn't forget to turn his head to Xiao Yu explain.

"I'll go out for a while."

There was no one in the alley, and Feng Fan stopped in front of the car.

"Go in."

A black Porsche stopped in front of him.

"what happened to you?"

Feng Fan finally let him go, and Zhan Chen rubbed his sore arm.

"I live in a courtyard house these days, I..."

"Well!"

Feng Fan pulled him into his arms, put one hand around his waist, and sealed his lips. The more he struggled, the tighter his hands became, he lifted him up, and carefully walked around his wound without any gaps He held his head in one hand to prevent him from moving, the tip of his tongue stretched out his lips, stirring in his warm mouth, silver threads flowed from the corners of his mouth, the pure moonlight and the dim yellow streetlights, all mottled.

"You...you let go...me."

Regardless of his resistance, Feng Fan went upstairs even tighter. He was very angry now, but he was just helping him with medicine, it was just helping him with medicine. For such a trivial matter, knowing the reason why he didn't come, knowing that he cared about that person, but What you like is me, your body can’t be touched by anyone except me, you can only pretend to be me in your heart, I only confessed my feelings for you last night, I can’t stand it if you look at others more, you are mine, only belong I.

"..."

Zhanchen's mind is blank, why are your kisses always so violent, as if they are punishing, if you like me, will it make me feel so uncomfortable.Zhan Chen's push against Feng Fan's chest became weaker and weaker, two lines of tears rolled down his face, and he slowly closed his eyes.

What am I to you?

The person being kissed softened and was about to fall, Feng Fan quickly let go of him.

Just when he thought he was about to faint, he sucked in fresh air into his heart and lungs again. His eyes were still closed, and the tears left on his face showed the pain he had just suffered.

"miss you."

Watching his tear-wet eyelashes tremble like butterfly wings, his voice was as soft as a whisper.

Zhanchen thought he had heard wrong, so he opened his eyes, which were full of moisture.

"What did you say?"

Feng Fan looked down at him, his eyes were deep, and he thought of explaining, so he murmured:

"I…"

"I know, but don't get too close to him."

Zhan Chen was a little surprised, a little dazed, and then broke into a smile, he was actually jealous, this man who had no desires and no desires to look down on the world was actually jealous of him, no wonder he looked furious, the domineering and plundering just now was also because of the poke The softness in his heart, he suddenly leaned on his shoulder with some relief, weeping with joy like a child.

That person suddenly appeared and took Zhan Chen away aggressively. He was wondering if this person named Feng Fan was the one in Zhan Chen's heart. He followed out worriedly. Under the moonlight, the two were kissing intimately. It's not him that Zhanchen likes. Although he has already prepared himself mentally, this day will come sooner or later, but seeing him being kissed by others, his heart still hurts, and the numb heartache makes him unbearable to watch it any longer, and he is devastated Back in the room, I sat alone, looking at the pitch-black sky, the broken stars, so far away.

"When I was 10 years old, my family went to the Caribbean to watch the sea. That night, my brother and I secretly went to the shoal to collect shells. The indigo Caribbean sea at night was vast and mysterious. My brother liked it very much and didn't go back until very late."

In the car, Zhan Chen leaned on Feng Fan's shoulder, telling him in detail the most painful memory.

"Later, I was tired from playing and wanted to go back to sleep. When I stood up, I realized that the pocket watch hanging around my neck was gone. It was left to us by my grandfather. My brother and I were alone. If my father found out that it was stolen to play If you lose it, you will definitely be scolded...but it is too late."

Warm tears fell on the back of Feng Fan's hands, and he hugged him even tighter, as if the trembling person in his arms would sink into the night if he let go, never to be found again.

"It was getting darker and darker, I threw away all the shells, and I was afraid to ask my brother to go back, but he touched my head and said comfortingly:

'Look again, maybe you can find it. '

"We don't know. The tide is high, and the footprints he walked have been submerged. He can only roll up his trouser legs and walk forward. I saw the sea water submerge him to the knees. He bent over and groped in the water. I stood Looking at him anxiously on the shore, I was scared, more and more scared, I wanted to go home, I cried and said:

'Brother, I'm not looking anymore, I want to go home. '

"He stood up and looked at me with a smile, but it was the last time I saw him. There was another high tide. He staggered and fell down, but he got up quickly. He was already walking back, but The second wave came and he fell again, but this time he never got up again."

Zhanchen sobbed, his voice intermittent.

"If...if I hadn't dropped the pocket watch, he wouldn't have been washed away by the sea..."

Feng Fan looked at him, tears kept flowing from his eyes, his eyes were looking at him but he was not focused, still stuck in painful memories.

"Later, Dad said that it was Grandpa who missed my brother, so he took him away, together with my pocket watch, and asked him to think about it. Don't blame me...and asked me...to live well on his behalf, together with my brother's share."

"So... I have always been very happy to live, because I am not only living alone, but also my brother."

Zhan Chen's eyes regained his expression, and Feng Fan's face was reflected in his clear pupils.

"My brother also has a tear mole on his face, which grows under his right eye. When I was a child, I often twisted his neck, pointed at the mole, and said he was not as beautiful as me. He always messed up my hair and took me off his body. Tear it off and pretend to be angry with me."

Zhan Chen sat up, looking at Feng Fan excitedly with red and swollen eyes.

"Yu Shao is very similar to my brother. He treats me very well. If I didn't remember my brother's appearance, I would even think that they are the same person. Therefore, I only treat him as my brother. Nothing will happen between us."

Feng Fan looked at him with affection and pity, put his hands on his face and wiped away his tears.

"I see."

The voice was so gentle that it seemed to melt him, he put his arms around Feng Fan's neck, softening his heart, and then, the child became more courageous, the night was dark and the moon was high, and the people were as quiet as before, obviously the mood had been rendered so sad Mourning, in the future, there will be a steady flow of water, and the wind and the snow, but he asked three questions in succession with tears in his eyes.

"Then I'm going to live in a courtyard for a few days, won't you allow me?"

"He helped me apply the medicine, you won't be jealous, will you?"

"Maybe we won't see each other recently, don't you miss me?"

After finishing speaking, he still arched his head against his neck, sniffing his scent, and couldn't cling to him anymore. Feng Fan's arms around his waist were tightened, and his feelings just now were just because of these three words. For a while, Feng Fan's eyes were full of coldness, which was very aggressive. If Zhan Chen looked up at him at this moment, it would be coldness, and he would shudder, but he muttered:

"Feng Fan...It's great to meet you...I love you, I really like you."

No matter how angry he is, hearing these words, he can't wait to rub him into his heart. When he meets such a person, he would be reluctant to get angry. Feng Fan hugged him tenderly.

"Yes, I will."

Tired from crying because of being sad, Zhan Chen was drowsy in Feng Fan's arms, half-opening his eyelids, just about to fall asleep, when suddenly his nerves ached without warning, his whole body trembled, and quickly, But it made him unable to sleep again, Feng Fan helped him up.

"what happened?"

"I had a headache just now, and now it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Maybe I'm too tired, let's go to sleep."

For some reason, Zhan Chen saw Feng Fan's chest heaving violently, as if he was frightened, and then felt that his eyes were sore from crying for too long.

"Are you taking your medicine on time?"

"Well, but my injuries are all healed, so I don't want to eat."

"No, if you still have a headache, you must eat."

"Oh."

Since returning from Mexico, although the headaches are not as frequent as after the concussion, they are more painful each time, and sometimes the neuralgia makes him see things blurred.

"Is there any reason?"

"Don't think too much, it's just a recovery. What happened last time caused your nerves to show signs of slight damage, so you have to eat until you fully recover."

"Oh."

He didn't give details, and Zhan Chen didn't ask.

Later, Zhan Chen couldn't sleep, so he asked Feng Fan questions. He asked a question, and Feng Fan answered a question. The questions were all about Feng Fan's past life. Until he fell asleep, he didn't hear the part he wanted to know.

The moonlight was as light as water, flowing for thousands of miles. Feng Fan looked at his sleeping face and stayed up all night.

In the high-walled courtyard, under the curtain of stars, another person sat in front of the steps, non-stop all night long.