She became the white moonlight of the black lotus

The night is thick, the towering commercial buildings by the river stand upright in the sky, and the artificial light penetrates the foggy dark blue sky.

The night lights of the traffic flashed, flowing into a river of lights, flowing forward along the road.

Huo Xingyu was leaning on the reclining chair with an expressionless expression on his face. He held the phone in both hands, and kept swiping the screen with his fingertips.

She has been back from the set for several days.

After reading the report, holding meetings, discussing new projects, and finishing the day's work, she repeats one thing every day.

Get on the trumpet and browse Ning Xiangxiang's Chaohua and Weibo.

Most of the time, she just looked at the thoughts sent by Ning Xiangxiang, the scenery photos of the crew and the occasional few selfies.

Only a few times, when she sees bad reviews that are beyond the objective range, she will go up and say something.

And this kind of behavior of helping to retaliate is particularly prominent in Ning Xiangxiang's Weibo, which has few active fans and is rare even for trolls, and is only full of abuse.

In less than two days, this [Ning Xiangxiang is the most beautiful] Weibo trumpet has almost become a famous fan of the [-]th line vase actress Ning Xiangxiang.

Look at the title of [Iron Fan] next to his trumpet name.

Huo Xingyu had complicated emotions in his heart.

But she stared at it as if it was a small medal branded with Ning Xiangxiang's brand. On that gorgeous and arrogant face, she couldn't restrain the slight upward curve of her lips.

Although Ning Xiangxiang is different from most of the things she likes.

But she is willing to put Ning Xiangxiang at the center of all the things she likes.

Are you a Ning Xiangxiang fan?

Huo Xingyu didn't know.

She only feels that if fans are measured by how much they like her.

She is willing to be Ning Xiangxiang's most loyal lover.

However, the little star she likes only sent her three sentences all day today.

Thinking of this, Huo Xingyu's slightly raised lips instantly pulled down.

With a light flick of her fingertips, she fiercely tapped into the WeChat dialog box, looking at the short three sentences.

【Morning. 】

【time to eat! 】

[The filming of today's scene is over, and my role is almost over. 】

Huo Xingyu couldn't tell what kind of feeling he was feeling.

Obviously Ning Xiangxiang greeted her every morning when she got up early.

Obviously she took the initiative to find every word she said during the filming interval, not only said it on her own initiative, but also said what she was doing in words.

But Huo Xingyu still felt that it was not enough.

What is not enough?

she does not know.

Maybe it's because Ning Xiangxiang didn't act like a baby to her with a rabbit emoji in these three sentences.

Maybe it was because Ning Xiangxiang didn't cling to her and said a few more words to her.

Maybe... or maybe it's because Ning Xiangxiang didn't say he missed her.

In short, it is not enough.

She just felt as if something was missing, something was missing.

Huo Xingyu felt that this sense of lack required her to stand in front of him, to get close to him, to send that incredibly beautiful, soft, fair little face to his door, and let her pinch it. Only one kiss can fill it up.

to be satisfied.

She pulled the thin quilt covering her body, looked away from the phone, and looked out of the floor-to-ceiling glass.

Looking down from the top of this financial center where every inch of land is expensive, you can have a panoramic view of the most prosperous night view of the entire city.

All the bright lights and radiance are all surrendered to her eyes.

The River of Lights continues to flow along the highway, spreading to the distance.

The whole city seems to be cut by artificial light in a round brilliant style, cutting out a dazzling streamer.

Huo Xingyu couldn't remember how many times he stood on the top of the city overlooking the night.

But for the first time she felt,

I seem to be alone.

She needs someone to stay by her side.

I want Ning Xiangxiang.

Why is this so?

Huo Xingyu stared out of the window in a daze. She stretched out her hands to pull up the quilt and wrapped herself in it, as if she could dispel this lonely yearning.

She squeezed her phone and endured it for a long time before typing in the chat box one by one to ask;

【doing what? 】

For a long time, there was no reply.

As long as Ning Xiangxiang doesn't reply, she doesn't know what she's doing.

Huo Xingyu didn't like this feeling.

It was as if she turned around, not sure if Ning Xiangxiang was obediently walking behind her.

She waited and waited.

His eyes were already half-closed.

The whole person was dazed and fell into a dream.

A century ago, Freud said that dreams are the disguised shadows of our unconscious desires and fears.

Those unacceptable emotions, as well as feelings that are not allowed by morality and suppressed by oneself, in dreams, they will appear in various strange appearances.

They are letters that lie in the back of your mind, again and again and in one way or another, helping you recall everything you feared.

It's an instinctive safety training to repeat the fear.

When caught in this fear, where is the boundary between dream and reality, the former Huo Xingyu can clearly distinguish.

She read a saying in a book a long time ago that people's dreams are divided into black and white and color.

When these nerve impulses are interpreted by the conscious brain as illusory and blurred fantasies, the world she sees is black and white.

There is no color, only black and white, most of the time, she knows that she is in a dream.

There is a legend in Tibet,

They say that as long as a person realizes that he is sleeping in a dream three times in his life, he will surely be liberated after death.

If calculated in this way, she felt that her relief came very easily.

Huo Xingyu remembered when dreams were no longer black and white, when he could see colors in dreams.

In that chaotic and dark dream, when she was pinched around the neck with one hand, she struggled to open her eyes.

What she saw was a large blur of figures and colors, and the crying and screaming woman hiding in the farthest distance.

Before this dream, Huo Xingyu never knew what it was like to see colorful things in his dreams.

After that, whenever that woman appeared in her dream, she could see many colors.

The red and blue police car whistled sharply alternately, seeping out of the sack, blood dripping on the ground drop by drop, and the sky so drowsy that the twilight could not be seen.

In this dream, Huo Xingyu couldn't see their faces clearly, they were like dolls with blurred faces, appearing in her dreams again and again, playing a drama.

In this blur without facial features, she could clearly feel everyone's emotions.

Most of the time, the woman is crying.

Cry and say sorry, cry and say sorry.

More often, she was chanting her own name.

She said, Xingyu, Xingyu, I am sorry for you.

As if she really knew herself,

As if she really had something to do with him.

what is the relationship?

Huo Xingyu thought about his life in a daze, but he couldn't think of any part that could be connected with this absurd and bizarre plot.

The only thing that is the same is that his father is also dead.

But it's different from the man who screamed in the car to run and leave.

Her father died protecting her, protecting her from being hit by a vehicle.

These weird differences gradually built up another self that made her strange, another life of Huo Xingyu that she had never experienced before.

In this dream, she was not the person who was sitting in a skyscraper looking through the report with a cold face, but a young child curled up in a woman's arms.

The woman who cries in her dreams does not always shed tears.

In addition to the dark and sticky blood, she has also seen the red brick walls in the alleys, the whitewashed walls of the house, the canvas of a golden wheat field, the rusty blue iron containers, and the old swimming pool.

The woman would take her hand and sit beside her.

Huo Xingyu couldn't see her face clearly, but he could clearly feel that she was smiling.

The lake in front of him was swaying, and the broken light was as dizzying as the woman's smile.

The woman stretched out her slender and warm hand, and gently touched her head, her fingertips stroking her face.

She wrapped herself in a thin and warm embrace, and Huo Xingyu curled into her embrace, feeling himself sinking slowly bit by bit in this calm.

She hugged herself, and a low singing sound came from above her head.

"Will you come again... Should I wait a little longer? I think over and over again, and ask myself..."

In this familiar tune, the young Huo Xingyu was buried in this woman's arms, and her hand patted her little back lightly.

Her body was like a cradle made of mother's flesh and blood, hugging her child and shaking it gently.

In this strange and warm hallucination, it was so real that she suddenly couldn't tell whether it was the Huo Xingyu who was awake, or the Huo Xingyu in the dream.

It was even more difficult to tell whether he was in a dazzling dream.

In this embrace, Huo Xingyu suddenly had an illusion that this woman who was so fragile that she always shed tears and was so ruthless that she could kill a person with her hands might really be his mother.

Maybe it's really He Shuyi.

Huo Xingyu didn't have a deep impression of her.

In her remaining impression, He Shuyi does not always cry like the woman in the dream.

Like all "Mrs. Huo", she has to behave in an amiable and decent manner for the sake of fame and decency.

It is exquisite as if the same superb craftsman used a mold to carve out the frame of a woman in the standard.

She spoke softly and forcefully, not much different from Lin Xian's appearance in front of outsiders.

Apart from this, Huo Xingyu didn't have any other impressions.

They said that it is a good thing not to remember, and there is nothing worth remembering about a woman like He Shuyi. After speaking, they would look at each other, raise their eyebrows, curl their lips, and invariably showed a secretive expression on their faces.

No one wants to mention her, and no one wants to talk about her.

He Shuyi seems to be a flat character drawn with simple strokes on paper. She has no personality, no plot, and even no trace of warmth can be found in Huo Xingyu's memory.

There is absolutely no resemblance to the woman hugging her and singing in a low voice in this dream.

But she somehow felt that this woman was He Shuyi.

As she sang softly, her consciousness slowly sank and floated.

Immediately afterwards, the singing lingering in her ears slowly stopped.

Huo Xingyu felt that this woman was crying again.

She wanted to look up and stretch her young neck to see if she was crying again.

He Shuyi's warm and soft palm covered her eyes.

She heard her sobs whispering in her ears.

She said, "I'm sorry, Xingyu is sorry."

Huo Xingyu listened blankly to her repeated apologies. He hadn't figured out where her sudden guilt and overwhelming tears came from, but he felt that those pair of eyes that were still hugging her tightly just now were full of tears. The soft hands of reluctance and love, one covering her eyes, brought her an inescapable darkness.

The other was gently and slowly wrapped around her neck, slowly tightening and tightening.

This familiar feeling of suffocation quickly climbed up in Huo Xingyu's consciousness, and she wanted to break free, but this young body couldn't stop her tight grip, so she could only wave her hands weakly.

She was on the verge of having difficulty breathing, and she heard the woman sobbing and whispering in her ears, she said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for you, but don't hate mom..."

"If I don't do this, I won't be able to leave, Xingyu, please forgive mom, it won't be hard, just for a while, just for a while."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you are my child, but I'm really, I'm only selfish this time, okay? Ah Xian is right, as long as you are still here, nothing will change, I'm sorry..."