Before prying away the small O

On this day, Yun Wan returned to her home.

Bring that frame too.

Before leaving, he sent a message to Yu Xi, thanking her for giving him the key.

Yu Xi spoke quickly, 【I thought what I said was annoying】

Yun Wan didn't say how nice her words were, it was a false one at first sight.

After a while, Yun Wan replied, 【But it's the truth】

[Truth, most of them are not pleasant to hear, I know]

Yu Xi saw it and laughed.

Yu Xi: 【You are very interesting】

Yun Wan's two sentences didn't help her, but they were surprisingly transparent.

Yun Wan returned a serious smile, not the yin and yang that came with the system.

Yu Xi smiled and typed, 【I still think You Chenxing will be safe, don't be too pessimistic】

Feeling that what I want to say next is a bit over the top, but I really like Yun Wan's answer just now, so Yu Xi still follows her heart and goes further.

【Sometimes no news is good news】

When Yun Wan saw it, she knew that although Yu Xi was a member of the prosecutor's office, there must be channels to know about the internal situation of the National Security Bureau.

That's right, Ji Zhou used to be the deputy chief of the third division, and Yu Xi was Ji Zhou's fiancée, so it's no surprise that he knew a few people from the third division.

Yun Wan's answer surprised Yu Xi again.

At least, Yun Wan's answer is very different from Yu Xi's impression of her own temperament.

Yunwan is a delicate and beautiful Shangjing rose, which was kept in the greenhouse without any wind and rain.

【Thank you, I'm fine】

【Before I saw her dead body, I wouldn't think something happened to her】

These two sentences...

Yu Xi was stunned.

Shul laughed again.

These two sentences made Yu Xi feel that Yun Wan had a very strong self inside, completely opposite to her indestructible appearance.

【It's best if you can think like this, good night~】

Yun Wan: 【Good night】

Before going to bed, Yun Wan put the mask photo frame on her bedside table.

It wasn't a peaceful night, but at least she didn't suffer from insomnia anymore, and Yun Wan got enough rest.

When I was washing up the next day, the idea of ​​asking Shen Li for the mask crossed my mind for a few seconds.

This thought only existed for a few seconds, and was quickly denied by Yun Wan.

She didn't want to see Shen Li again.

She and Shen Li, she and You Chenxing have their own opinions, she respects the two relationships, and does not want any possibility of intertwining between them.

Besides, Shen Li is about to leave Shangjing, right?

I just don't know if she will leave earlier or later after the earthquake...

However, the advance and postponement are no longer related to Yun Wan.

When the aunt came, Yunwan was in the living room with a glass of milk, the TV was turned on and the news was playing loudly, and Yunwan sat on the sofa to watch.

"Is there any new situation in the disaster area?" the aunt asked.

"Correct."

"It's miserable, it's almost the Chinese New Year, and when this happens, hey, it's really..."

Regarding Auntie's emotion, Yun Wan only pursed her lips and took it with a wry smile, but did not speak.

For the next two days, Yun Wan lived in her own home. The news in the earthquake area was updated every day, and the broadcast was uninterrupted from morning to night. The footage of the disaster was getting deeper and deeper into the epicenter...

The news that was broadcast became more and more tragic.

Seeing these pictures, Yun Wan is relatively restrained.

The aunt she was looking for often watched the news with her, her eyes were always red and she cried unconsciously.

While feeling uncomfortable, he said things like that are too miserable, too miserable...

Yunwan... She just quietly handed the tissue to her aunt, and then continued to read the reports, not missing any latest news from the disaster area.

On the second day after the earthquake, the collapsed signal tower began to be repaired. As reported in the news, under normal conditions, the repair cycle of this kind of damage to the signal tower usually takes four to five days. The premise is that there is sufficient manpower ...

Now there is a serious shortage of manpower, and the personnel who can be mobilized are basically devoted to search and rescue work. Under the current limited conditions, the official time period for the maintenance of signal towers has reached three times as long as usual.

Yun Wan couldn't wait that long.

However, according to Huaguo's rescue efficiency, the real time will not be that long.

On the third day after the earthquake, Yunwan received a call from Zhusui, who had little to do with the National Security Bureau, but mainly to tell her the latest news about the opening of public rescue.

"The paratroopers from the epicenter went in, and the pictures were sent back. Two roads into the epicenter were cleared out. The situation is... very bad. My old man had a meeting in the afternoon, and the leaders of the third and fifth districts also came to Beijing. Go to Beijing immediately. A wave of emergency supplies will be released to the quake-hit area, and the spontaneous rescue of the people will be opened to the public, tentatively scheduled for two days later."

Yun Wan was surprised, "So fast?"

Zhu Sui's voice was also covered with gloom, "The manpower is really not enough."

The world has experienced continuous decline in fertility rate for hundreds of years, and the total population is only now. Huaguo is a big country. Relatively speaking, it is already a country with a large number of people. However, this relatively large number is still not enough to completely cover the disaster area. Rescue manpower required.

There is really no other way.

"And it's not just encouraging spontaneous rescues."

"National agencies and military departments will require systematic dispatch of support manpower, and each unit has rigid targets."

Yun Wan froze for a moment, realized something, nodded and thanked.

Zhu Sui: "It's nothing, it's just..."

The words stuck on the edge of her mouth, but she didn't say it. In the end, the female alpha only said.

"Anyway, don't worry too much. With so many people in the epicenter, You Team and the others can be said to be the group with the strongest self-rescue ability. Their...the probability of accidents is relatively small."

Of course, it's only relative.

"I know."

Zhu Sui felt that Yun Wan was calmer than the previous two days, and she couldn't understand where this calm came from, but no matter what, this state was always much better than panic and fear.

Zhu Sui finally said, "I was brought up by Team You. Ms. Yun, if you need anything recently, you can find me."

"Where I can help, I will do my best."

Yun Wan smiled, "Thank you." Thank you again.

Zhu Sui's news is accurate. Before opening the public to rescue, various agencies and units in Shanghai were notified, requesting to send a rescue team to go deep into the surrounding area of ​​the epicenter for human support.

Yun Wan saw that everyone was discussing in the work group, so she asked a question, and the Military Disciplinary Commission posted the notice directly to her, the red-headed document, it was a certainty.

On the fourth day after the earthquake, after getting the news from the work group, Yun Wan went back to Father Yun's house.

She drove to the outside of the complex and parked. When she entered the complex, she stood at the entrance of the complex for a long time. She didn't know what she was looking at. She saw the security guard passing by. She asked her a few words with concern, and got a reply from her that she was fine, so Yun Wan entered. district.

Yun Wan was normal that day. At first, Father Yun was afraid that she would be sad, but after dinner in silence, when the father and daughter watched the earthquake news together, Father Yun glanced at Yun Wan from the corner of his eye from time to time, and found that she was in a good state of mind. What kind of mood was it? He couldn't come out, but on the surface, he was quite calm, not as if he was panicked.

Father Yun felt at ease.

He felt good, Yun Wan was indeed calm, but the source of this calm was different from what he could think of.

After the news was broadcast, Father Yun made good tea. Usually Yun Wan secretly drank his tea, but today he didn't seem to pay attention to what kind of tea he was taking.

Hey, it's still impossible to be completely unaffected, Father Yun thinks so.

After chatting a few words about the situation in the disaster area, Yun Wan glanced at the clock and realized that it was about the same time. She lowered her head to drink tea and changed the subject.

"When I came today, I stood at the door for a long time."

The tea was fragrant, and Father Yun lifted the lid of the purple clay pot to pour water, and said casually, "Huh? What did you see?"

"No, I didn't see anyone, everything is as usual."

Father Yun smiled and was about to speak when Yun Wan continued, "I just thought of a long time ago."

"When I was very young, our family was separated at the gate of this community. I carried my schoolbag, or got into your car, or got into my mother, and started a day of life."

The pot in Father Yun's hand was tilted, and the water poured out of the spout, scalding his hand a little bit, except for the sudden panic in his heart, he didn't feel anything for the first time.

Yun Wan didn't raise her head, she just stared at her own cup, didn't notice anything unusual, she paused, her voice became very soft, and she said very carefully.

"Actually, I have always missed my previous life."

"It's just that when I have it, I don't know what it means."

When she has it, to Yunwan, it is just a normal day in her happy life.

If she grew up well and didn't have that incident later, she might not remember those trivial things.

Not to mention the feeling of nostalgia.

"You never told me that."

The room was silent for a long time, Father Yun put down the kettle in his hand, and replied with a blank expression.

There was only a slight smile on Yun Wan's face, and she nodded, "Yes, I never said that."

"But after you came back, you never talked to me about my mother again."

Father Yun's voice was deep, as if he was thinking seriously, "Really?"

Yun Wan's answer was very affirmative, "Yes."

Father Yun was silent.

Yun Wan is not someone who can hide her thoughts on weekdays, when it came to this, it was rare that she didn't speak any more, quietly lowered her head to refill her tea.

Father Yun looked at his own girl who had grown into an adult in front of him. This glance seemed to pass through time. Through the adult face, he thought of Yun Wan's appearance when he was a child. He couldn't help but speak hoarsely, "Are you blaming me?"

The question made Yun Wan's hands stagnate while drinking tea.

For a moment, she shook her head slightly.

"I know, you have been in pain for so many years."

"I just... want to talk about how I feel today."

"It's like we've never talked."

"I don't know why you don't talk to me about this, when I was a kid..."

Recalling the scene after returning from the base, Yun Wan let out a sigh of relief, and said very impatiently, "At least when I was a child, I didn't mention it because I was afraid."

And when she grows up, she slowly becomes sensible, and the three views have just formed, and some things are half-knowledgeable, let alone mentioned.

Every time Yun Wan thinks about family affairs in adolescence, she always feels that she is standing on the boundary line between right and wrong. On one side of the line is her father, and on the other side is her grandfather's family. It seems that she admits that one side is right, and the other side is doomed. it is wrong.

But Yun Wan doesn't think both parties are right, nor does she think they are wrong.

In this way, her heart was entangled and she couldn't understand it.

So avoid.

The more times I avoided, I got used to burying, like an adult, let go of the past and never mention it again.

She thought that for her mother's matter, instead of saying "forgive" or "let go", it would be more appropriate to describe it as "forget it".

It's too complicated, too entangled, too uncomfortable, she doesn't want to think about it anymore, instead of suffering every day, it's better to let herself go.

Forget it.

But deep down, Yun Wan knew that her attitude was never right.

Problems need to be solved, not avoided.

Avoid, don't see, don't listen, don't think, the problem will not disappear, it still exists.

"What are you afraid of?" Father Yun's voice became hoarse, and it was obvious that he didn't feel comfortable talking about this topic.

"a lot of."

Yun Wan said calmly, "In life, without my mother, everything seems to be the same, but it seems that everything has changed."

"I don't know how to face these changes. I often feel helpless when I think about her."

"The quarrel between you and my grandparents also makes me feel very strange. In the past, your relationship was obviously very good."

Father Yun lowered his eyes, casting a shadow under his eyes: "That's because your mother is here."

"Yes, I found out later, but at the time, I didn't know, at the time I just..." Yun Wan tried to force a smile, but couldn't, "I just don't want to make the situation more confusing, I hope to come back Everyone is fine, and since my mother can't come back, I hope that the rest of my life, to the greatest extent, can be the same as before."

"Of course I know now that this idea was naive from the very beginning and it was unrealizable."

"But at the time, I did think so."

"Although you haven't mentioned my mother's matter to me, I can often feel that you are in pain, and the aunt at home also tells me not to mention it in front of you as much as possible, and asks me not to ask too much, saying that you are also suffering..."

"I've already lost my mother, and I hope you'll be fine."

The words are simple, but they contain the power to destroy the dead.

Yun Wan saw her father's eyes turned red which was rare.

But making her father feel uncomfortable was not her original intention of this trip, she just... just felt that the time had come, and there were some deep-seated things that could be said...

She also wanted to say it.

"Later, I became very eager for family, and then I met Shen Li."

"Shen Li, meets all my expectations, even she is not the best group of people, yes."

"I think such a person can make me more stable. Unlike you, in the future, I won't face some very human choices because of being too good."

"What I want is actually very simple."

"But now it seems that sometimes, the more people are attached to something, the harder it seems to be."

Shen Li did not face the same difficult choices as her father, but she betrayed her.

"My requirements for her have always been very low, but I didn't expect that she didn't even do this basic thing."

Eyes out of focus for a moment, Yun Wan sighed softly again, "But, maybe from the beginning, I was wrong."

Father Yun frowned, "What's wrong with you!"

If you want him to say this matter, the responsibility lies entirely with Shen Li, and has nothing to do with Yun Wan.

Yun Wan's answer made him speechless.

Yun Wan said, "I shouldn't pin the meaning and expectations of life on people and things other than myself."

"I didn't feel it before, but after this incident, I often feel that people are small and helpless."

Family used to be Yunwan's whole world.

And one day, the world she carefully maintained, not because of her, but because of another person, suddenly collapsed.

The moment Yun Wan knew it, she felt that she was completely smashed from top to bottom.

like……

The past has, from that moment on, lost all meaning.

All the efforts have become ridiculous.

She became a joke.

Father Yun was speechless.

Without it, because Yun Wan's words are correct.

Yun Wan: "I've thought about this marriage for a long time, and at the beginning I always carried heavy emotions. It took me a long time before I gradually stopped blaming myself and slowly walked out."

"Looking back, I think it's because of my mother's business, which affected me."

"I'm probably... too eager to go back in time."

But a broken life cannot be repaired.

Yun Wan will never go back.

The room was silent, and there was a pause, Yun Wan twitched her lips in mockery, "So I think, I must find an opportunity to talk to you about the past, today, it's just a coincidence."

The failure of her marriage with Shen Li made Yunwan realize that there are some things, some griefs belonging to the original family, which cannot be escaped.

They are rooted in her bones and cannot be avoided.

Even if she doesn't think about it or look at it, they will still exist and be deeply rooted in her desire, in her words and deeds.

Today, in disguise, it can be regarded as finding time, so let’s talk about it.

Father Yun lowered his head and said darkly, "So, you want to tell me this today?"

Unexpectedly, Yun Wan shook her head again.

"No."

These two words actually made Father Yun feel suspicious for a moment.

For the first time, he felt that Yun Wan, who had always been outgoing, made him feel difficult to understand.

Yun Wan: "I came here to tell you about my plan to go to the epicenter."

Father Yun raised his head sharply.

Yun Wan said calmly, "Well, I want to find You Chenxing."

"but……"

Subconsciously, Father Yun wanted to refute, but Yun Wan didn't give him a chance, and kept talking to himself.

"It's not safe to go alone, I know that."

"Originally, I wanted to go with the unit, but today I discussed my plan with Ms. Zhuer, and she said that You Chenxing's deputy also planned to go by herself. Finally, we negotiated and asked me to go with the other party. She helped us arrange the itinerary."

"The other party is an A-level alpha, and I know him well."

"Survival skills in the wild, there should be no unit that trains more diligently than their National Security Bureau."

"Follow Ms. Zhuer's path, tomorrow follow a group of military planes dispatched by the military department of the first district, fly to the periphery of the earthquake area, then change cars and enter the epicenter."

Every plan is in order.

It was arranged... Father Yun couldn't make a mistake.

Father Yun probably understands the situation of the National Security Bureau. It is true that Zhou Ding or the unit are not as safe as those who come with them. It is good to come.

but……

but…………

Father Yun looked deeply at Yun Wan, his eyes flickering, and reminded him with difficulty, "What if the final result is not you..."

The words are tactful, and the words are carefully chosen, for fear of hurting Yun Wan.

But Yun Wan took it over bluntly and replied, "I didn't expect the result."

"I didn't expect it, any possibility."

"I just...if she's okay, I want to see her as soon as possible, and if... unfortunately dies, then I also want to be the first person to see her body."

Father Yun was speechless for a long time.

After a while, Father Yun asked, "Why?"

There were only three words, but Yun Wan knew what he was asking.

why?

Yun Wan thought about it for a moment, then smiled, the smile was shallow, with a strange sense of relief amidst the bitterness.

"Maybe, I want to do what I can do."

"That way, no matter what the end result is, I won't blame myself anymore."

"When my mother went to the base, I always wanted to go with her to see you, but she kept me."

"After her accident, you have been arguing all the time. I... felt very scared at the first time, and I didn't ask why..."

"Later, after returning to Shangjing, I never asked you about her and this matter has been hidden in my heart, but many things, hiding, does not mean disappearing..."

Yun Wan lowered her eyes, her beautiful face showed a look of bewilderment, she frowned for a moment, then raised her head and continued speaking.

"Dad, in fact, I have always felt that I am very cowardly."

"I can't accept the fact that she left, but I can't question you."

Tears welled up in her eyes, Yun Wan looked at Father Yun with deep red eyes, and stated.

"Every time I think about the past, I ask myself countless times, if I went to see you with her back then, if I had asked you one more question at the first moment when you and grandpa quarreled...or..."

"Or back to Shangjing again, I'm not doing nothing, I'll ask you, ask my grandfather..."

"Could everything be different?"

Could it be that her mother turned out differently?

Could it be that the relationship between her father and her grandfather's family is not like it is now?

These doubts popped up in Yun Wan's mind countless times, and she couldn't press them down.

Father Yun didn't answer Yun Wan, but the way he looked at Yun Wan made Yun Wan feel heartbroken.

The time is elongated, and the quiet blank space makes the atmosphere stagnate gradually.

Father Yun finally said, "This is not something you, a child, can change."

Yun Wan nodded, "Well, I figured it out later, I know."

"But I'm not a kid now."

"I want to go to her. No matter what the result is, I don't want to make myself regret."

Father Yun closed his eyes and finally understood.

Yun Wan didn't come to discuss with him today, she just came to inform him.

And his feeling is also right, Yun Wan has already made a decision and will not change because of Father Yun's attitude.

After a long time, Father Yun asked the last question in distress, "Is she that important to you?"

Yun Wan's eyes were blank for a moment, and she replied softly, "I don't know."

How important it is is only known after losing it, and Yun Wan is still unable to answer this question.

She also hopes that she will never know the answer to this question.

"However, we are together, in fact, she has always taken the initiative."

"Her identity, and her relationship with Shen Li, you know, I wouldn't have thought about it at first..."

"During the period, there were also many misunderstandings..."

"She has always been very accommodating to me."

"It also gave me a lot of time to face up to the pain that my previous marriage brought me."

"I just feel..."

Thinking of You Chenxing's glamorous face in her mind, Yun Wan held back her tears and raised the corners of her lips.

"I feel that since she has always taken the initiative, she has already taken 99 steps toward me, and I..."

"In this relationship, maybe I can, and I can move forward."

If You Chenxing is bound by the real predicament.

in fact,

She can also go to hers.