哏儿

"Okay, blow it up." Ye Ling untied the zongzi gauze wrapped in Xie Shuangchen's hand, then stood up and searched around, took out a hair dryer from the bathroom, plugged it in, and blew hard on Xie Shuangchen's hand .

"Murder!!!" Xie Shuangchen yelled, the cold wind blew the wound, the feeling was absolutely gone.

"Didn't you ask Chucky?" Ye Ling said with a smile.

Xie Shuangchen said aggrievedly: "Then I didn't let you brag like that!"

Ye Ling put the hair dryer aside and took a new gauze: "Okay, it's not so annoying when you're not talking, stretch out your hand."

Xie Shuangchen stretched out his hand hesitantly, and Ye Ling bandaged him again.Because of the previous experience, this time the package is still like that.

"Okay." Ye Ling shook her hands, and she was done.

"I suddenly have a question." Xie Shuangchen said, "How do I take a shower?"

"Your question is very good." Ye Ling said solemnly, "Just stay with it."

"..." Xie Shuangchen didn't know what to say.

Xie Shuangchen asked Ye Ling to stay here with him tonight because his hands were inconvenient.After they returned to the room, Yang Shuanglin stayed in the living room chatting with Xie Fangbi.

"The fifth one is really getting more and more outrageous." Yang Shuanglin said, "Before, he was not doing his job properly, but now he is messing around! Master, if you spoil him like this, you really don't know whether you are doing him good or hurting him."

Xie Fangbi put one hand on the table, folded his index finger and thumb together, the side of his index finger lightly rubbed against the ring on his thumb, and said, "Young people always have young people's ideas."

"Do you know what I'm going to say again?" Yang Shuanglin said, "The fifth son has grown up since he was a child. What did he want to do? Didn't he come to make fun of you? Seeing that the ruby ​​on his phoenix crown was taken off, he was afraid that you would scold him, so he cried and said that he wanted to learn Peking Opera because he liked it. You really asked Boss Yao to accept him and accompany him with his outfit. Go to high school and follow He was jealous and fought, and he said angrily that he would not be able to go to school, so you really asked him to come home. How long has he been with you since he said he would change his partner? How long has it been with you? Instead of talking about it, I want you to accept it by the way That Ye Ling is an apprentice. Master, look at you, you are so used to him, you don’t even know how powerful he is! On stage, he can’t speak clearly, and he just said some unfashionable tricks. I think our tradition, he doesn’t want it anymore! "

After he finished speaking, seeing that Xie Fangbi was silent, he said again: "Thinking back when there were five of us, only the fourth brother was outstanding, but it's a pity that he died young. The fifth child has a high score, but it's just too embarrassing." Xin, unreliable, always doing outrageous things, you can see that he and Ye Ling are just... Hey! I said that because I was afraid that he would take a detour and waste it!"

As soon as he mentioned the frost and rain around the old man, Xie Fangbi's expression suddenly became a little dark and sad. He waved his hand and said, "You are old, and Master is old. Each of you has your own destiny, and Master can only care about your studies and life. Master can't control anything else. As for that little leaf..."

Yang Shuanglin looked at Xie Fangbi and listened to him.

Xie Fangbi said: "Xiao Ye is a good kid, solid and stable, with good foundation skills, and being with the fifth child can be regarded as complementary. As for the other things, I have to observe and observe."

"Master, do you really listen to the old five?" Yang Shuanglin looked at Xie Fangbi's intentions as if he really wanted to take Ye Ling in, "Isn't this a joke for my colleagues!"

Xie Fangbi sighed: "Let's not talk anymore, let's leave it at that for today. Are you going to stay here or go back?"

"Lao Wu lives here, so I won't stay here. In case the young master gets angry and feels like I've bullied him and then watched him laugh." Yang Shuanglin said, "I'm going back, Master, you should rest early. Today's matter It's over, I know you love Lao Wu, but don't always worry about it, lest you get angry and ruin your body."

Yang Shuanglin told Xie Fangbi a few more things about taking care of his body, and then got up to leave.

Just as he was about to step out the door, Xie Fangbi suddenly said to him: "Second, I know you have good intentions for the fifth. But the fifth is young, so he may not be able to listen to our patriarchal education. There is a way in everything, and you also Don’t always find fault with him everywhere. Brothers should help each other a lot, you are doing the best now, when Master is gone, why don’t you hold hands for the brothers?”

Yang Shuanglin paused for a moment, then turned around and said, "Apprentice remembers."

Xie Fangbi waved his hand: "Go."

"Goodbye, Master."

Yang Shuanglin walked by, and Xie Fangbi stood alone in the courtyard looking up at the moon.The light in Xie Shuangchen's room has been turned off, and it seems that he has fallen asleep.In previous years, when Xie Shuangchen was beaten, Zhou Shuangyu took care of her.That young man who has always been gentle and indifferent can always coax Xie Shuangchen, who is like a bully, into submission.

I only hate that the sky is jealous of talents, and the Sri Lankan has passed away.

The moonlight cast on Xie Fangbi's old body, and he was suddenly in a trance, as if he could still see Zhou Shuangyu wearing a small gown when he was practicing.From childhood to youth, from youth to youth, until it turns into a wisp of green smoke and disappears.

Only sighs are left.

Xie Shuangchen returned to live in Xie Fangbi's courtyard house under the pretext of inconvenient hand injury.But he definitely wanted to bring private goods, so he brought Ye Ling to live with him.

Ye Ling didn't quite understand, Xie Shuangchen said: "Mr. Ye, are you stupid? I get up every morning to practice at Master's place, and Master tells me how to do exercises. Don't you follow along? Master can't tell you to leave, can you? You can just learn it gone?"

"This..." Ye Ling said embarrassingly, "Where is there such a thing as taking advantage of Mr. Xie?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "Master's is mine, so there is nothing to take advantage of."

Sure enough, when Xie Fangbi checked Xie Shuangchen's homework, he would always check Ye Ling with his feet, and he would briefly explain what was wrong with Ye Ling.When it came time to talk, he always asked Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling to act first, and then commented one by one, breaking down every sentence and speaking sentence by sentence.

The two lived here for two months and benefited a lot.

In the middle, Xie Shuangchen would also expressly hint at Xie Fangbi's matter of accepting apprentices, but Xie Fangbi avoided answering, and only said that Ye Ling could be promoted as a student, which is also possible.

Xie Shuangchen refused, and argued, "Students are different from apprentices!"

Xie Fangbi asked: "Tell me, what's the difference?"

"Anyone can be your student." Xie Shuangchen said, "But there is no formal apprenticeship, no public knowledge, who will recognize it!"

Xie Fangbi sighed, and said with a smile: "Old Wu, you are not young anymore, don't think too simple in everything."

Xie Shuangchen was still chattering behind Xie Fangbi's ass, but Xie Fangbi didn't pay any attention to it anymore, and went his own way, so what Xie Shuangchen said was useless.

After a few snowfalls, winter came to an end.Looking at the end of the year, the weather is getting colder every day.

The end of the year is a lively time, when traditional festivals and foreign festivals are sandwiched together, don't be idle once December enters.Everyone is enthusiastic about life under the festive atmosphere, but lazy about work.

Artists can't be lazy, they have to work around, when others are on vacation, they go to work.

This year Tianjin TV Spring Festival Gala invited Xie Fangbi, Xie Fangbi hesitated for a long time before agreeing, but he asked to take Xie Shuangchen with him.In fact, with Xie Fangbi's qualifications, which Spring Festival Gala would he not be able to attend?It's just that Yang Shuanglin is going to be on CCTV, so he can't compete with his apprentice for food, can he?

He went to Tianjin for another reason.

It is said that the art of cross talk was born in Beijing and grew up in Tianjin. No matter how good a cross talk artist is, if he can't get along in Tianjin, if the audience doesn't support him, he is not called a role.

This shows that the city of Tianjin plays a pivotal role in the history of cross talk.

So even if it was just a local Spring Festival Gala, Xie Fangbi still carefully prepared the performance, taught Xie Shuangchen word by word, and asked Xie Shuangchen to be funny, and he worked for him.

This matter has nothing to do with Ye Ling, but Xie Fangbi asked Ye Ling to listen in, and asked Ye Ling to learn how to be popular with others.

Ye Ling felt very honored, and was very serious. She set up a mobile phone and recorded every practice of the master and apprentice for the second time, and took notes at the side.

He was more serious than listening to the lectures of academic experts when he was in school.

This year's Tianjin TV Spring Festival Gala was broadcast live on New Year's Eve 29, and Ye Ling returned to Tianjin with the master and apprentice.Xie Shuangchen also asked Ye Ling if he wanted to go back early for the New Year, Ye Ling said that he didn't really want to, Xie Shuangchen didn't ask further, and found him a ticket and asked him to watch his and Master's show for a while.

The TV station originally wanted to put their program on the finale time, but Xie Shuangchen was worried that the time would be too late and delay Xie Fangbi's sleep, so he asked to move the time forward.

In this cold and twelfth lunar month, who wants to mess around at night?

The show they performed was original, called "A Day of a Netizen".The idea was brought up by Xie Shuangchen, connecting all the interesting things on the Internet, and describing how ordinary people spend their days on the Internet in a rather exaggerated and absurd way.From which APP to watch the news in the morning, to which takeaway to order at noon, to watching who announced their relationship with whom in the afternoon, and then to watching what videos to listen to and what music to chat online with netizens at night.

It's been a busy day.

However, Xie Shuangchen did not simply and rudely plagiarize internet jokes, but wrote it himself in everyday language, and under the guidance of Xie Fangbi, he subtly integrated talk, learning, funny and singing into it.There are many arias interspersed with traditional Guankou, Taiping lyrics and popular opera songs.

In the show, netizens were described as busy, but outside the show, Xie Shuangchen was exhausted after the performance.

"Master, can we do this?" He asked worriedly.

"Would you like to see the little fifth master?" Xie Fangbi had nothing to do with his own business, "Isn't it okay for me to stand at the table and watch the fun?"

Come on stage and bow.

The program has been rehearsed many times, and the lines are all familiar by heart.The gown was made by Zhao Mengru in a hurry. Zhao Mengru didn't dare to say anything to Xie Fangbi, but he gave Xie Shuangchen his eyes in private.

The master and apprentice stood on the stage, the old and the young. Xie Shuangchen wore a frosty white satin gown with gold woven under the shoulders.Xie Fangbi wore a black satin gown with more complicated patterns, but it was silver, not as bright and eye-catching as Xie Shuangchen beside him.In fact, they don't like the fancy gowns, but they look good on the stage. That's how Zhao Mengru designed them, so they can only wear them like this.

Xie Shuangchen not only has eye-catching clothes, but also puts great effort into styling his makeup and hair. His facial features are already clear and three-dimensional, especially the bridge of the nose. He is usually a handsome guy with his face up to the sky. After dressing up and standing on the stage, he is still called a person alive?

He is just like a romantic son of the Republic of China, he doesn't look like a cross talk talker.

Sitting under the stage, Ye Ling felt that she didn't know Xie Shuangchen anymore.The female audience next to them all took pictures of Xie Shuangchen and discussed, having a great time.

Xie Shuangchen's performance was in the middle, and the front bag was very loud, and Xie Fangbi held it very steadily, and the effect was very good.Next, I need to explain a piece of Taiping lyrics. This section was not included in the original program. One day, Ye Ling watched the two of them practice, and suddenly suggested whether to add a section of singing.

There are already popular songs for learning to sing, and singing the lyrics of Taiping alone is boring, and the audience may not like it, nor may they empathize with it.Ye Ling thought for a while, and wrote a paragraph in the notebook and handed it to Xie Shuangchen, asking him to sing with the tune of the lyrics of Taiping.

Xie Fangbi watched from the side, smiled and asked Xie Shuangchen to try.

Ye Ling didn't write anything else, just wrote a plot of "The Avengers", which rhymed simply, and the lyrics of Taiping were in two tunes, and one set was included.

"That Stark built a tall building on the ground, and Thor's team came to help. He saved the world all day long, smashed, looted and burned, and the weak New Yorkers were tired." Xie Shuangchen stood up straight with one hand on the miko board, and continued Singing, "There is also a little lady named Natasha Normanoff, and the black widow doesn't know who died..."

The more seriously you sing this kind of little song, the more funny it is to listen to.Xie Fangbi kept praising him and said, "Don't sing if you can't make it up." Xie Shuangchen was still playing the board forcibly. According to the script, he really looked like a strong man, but he couldn't laugh anymore in his heart. I don't know how such a dull person like Ye Ling came up with this word.

"Then I can't sing enough about the Avengers, I wish you all better than Captain America and better than Tony!" Xie Shuangchen's son clattered, and the audience applauded after the song was over.

Ye Ling also applauded, even though he had seen it ten thousand times, obviously he was just an audience in the audience, but this time the official performance made him feel very happy and proud.

Xie Fangbi and Xie Shuangchen bowed to the audience's warm applause and stepped off the stage. Xie Shuangchen untied the collar of his coat to find some water when he got off the stage, while Xie Fangbi sat on the side.Xie Shuangchen saw Ye Ling approaching, pulled him and hurriedly asked, "How is it going? Does the audience look good?"

Ye Ling pretended to say: "You go back and watch the video by yourself, can't you?"

"I'll forget if you're dying of anxiety!" Xie Shuangchen looked like a schoolboy who didn't get any benefits.

Xie Fangbi had enough tea and rest, stood up and changed into his coat, and asked Ye Ling: "Xiaoye, where do you live? Let's go together."

Ye Ling nodded and said, "Thank you teacher."

He doesn't really want to go home, the Chinese New Year is an embarrassing day for him.After returning home, the seven aunts and the eight aunts would always ask questions. They used to have excuses for still going to school, but this year they can no longer do so. They must ask him where he works, how much he earns, does he have a girlfriend...

Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

What's more, after he planned to talk about cross talk, he had a big fight with his parents. His parents thought that this obedient, sensible and excellent child must be crazy. Cross talk.

After graduating from Tsinghua University, teachers and parents have trained them for more than ten years, and they have a bright future in life.

Whose parents should not be pissed off?

Ye Ling got out of the car and waved goodbye to both master and apprentice.As the car drove away, he stood at the door of his building, rubbed his hands, and hesitated for a while before going up.

"Mom and Dad, I'm back." Ye Ling said softly.