Find a way to own the 5t5

Suddenly, there was a strange buzzing sound from the depths of the ear canal, like the sound of metal clanging, and even the sound of the wind quietly disappeared.

The scene beside him was gradually out of focus and blurred, as if covered by a misty mist.

[Smell it? ]

The warm and soft touch came to my heart again, and I looked away, slightly absent-minded.

I... smelled...

The sweet fragrance lingering in the nose is softer than catkins in spring.It's like a cream cake, and it's like my favorite candy, but it's actually Gojo Satoru's unique taste.

He backed away, and the moist heat remained on the tip of my nose, which gradually cooled and evaporated in the cold night air, and finally only the slight hazy touch remained.

Like being carefully cherished.

……

……value?

I was taken aback, not knowing why I thought of this obviously impossible word.Just when I thought of it, my heart throbbed for a moment, it was extremely sharp, and my breathing was tightened immediately.

……impossible.

Subconsciously denied this idea, but inadvertently bumped into his eyes again, and the suffocation spread silently from his chest.

I saw... the aurora falling into the deep sea-like eyes.

The faint blue at the edge of the pupil is the undercurrent under the [-]-meter-deep sea, tumbling and shuttling in the empty and empty ocean, like a beast ready to go.

Suddenly, the light of the stars appeared, they fell into the sea, ran over the treacherous undercurrent, and drew a light path leading to new life.

However, at the moment when I saw the sparkle in his eyes, I seemed to be submerged by the lonesome darkness coming, and my hands and feet were also bound by the undercurrent.

Can't float up, can't break free, can only sink in deeply.

In an instant, the stagnant time flowed again, the silence was stripped away, and I heard the sound of cracks again, very much like the shattering of metal or glass.

The undercurrent in Wujo Wu's eyes surged out, and invisible raging waves rolled up around me, drowning me completely in an instant.

The air to survive was deprived, and the sense of suffocation surged overwhelmingly, trying to drown me in this invisible wave.

I took a sharp step back, teetering on the edge of the narrow ledge.

His eyes frantically looked around, trying to find a place to hide, but he couldn't find it. The feeling of suffocation in his chest became stronger, as if he was going to really drown here in the next second.

"What's wrong?" Gojo Satoru grabbed my hand.

The moment he grabbed me, the suffocation that had tightly wrapped me receded suddenly, and fresh air continuously entered my lungs.

But there is still a dull feeling in the chest that cannot be ignored, and there is a sore, dense pain from the bottom of my heart when I breathe, which is more uncomfortable than a needle prick.

"Gojo Satoru..." I looked at him, gripped my clothes tightly with both hands, and said with lingering fear, "I'm going to drown, almost..."

He didn't hear clearly, so he moved closer: "What?"

The soreness in my heart was about to explode, and my internal organs were infected with panic pain. I couldn't help raising the volume: "Your eyes—"

Those eyes hidden in the deep sea were looking at me quietly, and the suddenly raised volume involuntarily lowered.

"I can't breathe..."

The unfamiliar feeling of suffocation made me extremely irritable, and I didn't want to think about why it disappeared after Gojo Satoru caught me, as if the answer didn't exist as long as I didn't think about it.

but--

No, that's not the case.

That answer is hidden in the bottom of my heart, and it is about to break out of the ground.

In the silent environment, the rapid heartbeat was as loud as a drum, and great fear suddenly arose in my heart.

"Don't look at me anymore..." The voice could not hide the retreat, "Gojo Satoru, I can't breathe...I'm going to drown..."

However, he actually smiled.

Like fireworks in full bloom in winter.

He was taken aback for a moment, then raised the corners of his lips, leaned over, put his finger on his forehead, and coaxed in a low voice: "Say it again, I want to hear it."

The retreat in my heart became even more serious, and even my eyes began to tremble: "Gojo Wu, I almost..."

Suddenly, a familiar sweet smell hit my nostrils, the dark uniform came in front of me, and a shadow was suddenly cast in front of my eyes.

His arms hooked my shoulders, and he leaned over me, and he bent down and swallowed the unfinished words.

Immediately, my breath was filled with the smell of Gojo Satoru, and I opened my eyes wide in almost astonishment, and my sight was full of pure white eyelashes like crow feathers.

My thoughts were immediately messed up, and I was burned out by a flame called Gojo Satoru. I almost forgot that I wanted to escape.

The back is pressed against the iron railing, and the coldness can be felt through the clothes, but the warmth of being held on the shoulders is continuously transmitted, flowing down the arms to the whole body, and the whole body feels like being soaked in the slight warmth. in the spring day.

Wrapped in sweet and soft like soft pudding, it can be cracked with a light bite.And now, that candy and cake flavored pudding is on my lips.

"I keep saying things like this..." Gojo Satoru backed away a little bit, muttering to shirk responsibility, "Then you can't blame me."

When I spoke, the warm breath sprayed on my face, causing a slight tingling and itching. I couldn't help but want to reach out and scratch, but it happened to touch his lips, which were warm and soft.

I withdrew my hand violently as if I had been scalded, forgetting even the itch on my face.He seemed to smile a bit, and posted it again.

He opened the gap between the fingers holding the clothes, then squeezed his own five fingers in, and finally clasped my hand.

My calves were hanging outside the edge of the empty rooftop, and my upper body was held in my arms, blocking all the cold.

The anxiety calmed down miraculously, and the unspeakable feeling of suffocation and withdrawal also faded like a tide.

The body is shackled in the narrow space between the dark uniform and the railing, the breath blends and sticks together tightly, gradually sipping a little bit of sweetness.

The tip of his nose touched his cheek from time to time, his thoughts were still in a mess, and it always took half a second to react.

... Wujo Satoru's face was also icy cold.

I belatedly thought.

"I won't drown." Wujo Satoru suddenly said, his lips moved as if they were gently caressing, reminding me of a kind of fish monster that relies on kisses to release poison and hunt prey.

"I'll hold you." His nose was close to my face, which was a very intimate gesture, but he did it naturally, "This is a promise."

I paused for breath and didn't speak.

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to go forward." As if he had already guessed my reaction, he casually raised his hand to stroke the ears and hair that was blown by the wind, "It's enough to stand where I am."

The clouds covering the round moon finally drifted away, and the light moonlight sprinkled on his hair, sparkling waves, more dazzling than the moonlight itself.

Gojo Satoru rested his chin on one hand, and squeezed my hand with the other.The tone is lazy, but there is no doubt about it.

"I'll be there."

……

It was probably the coldest day of the year, and it has been getting warmer since then.Although the temperature was still winter, there was no more snow, and there were no more transparent icicles under the branches and eaves.

Occasionally, I would leave the high school and find a seat by the window of a drink shop to sit and watch the crowds of people passing by on the street.

Sometimes they leave very early in the morning, and sometimes they leave at night.

There are many routes back to the college from the city center. Today I chose a route that I had never taken before, and walked back slowly by myself.

Walking into the street with less traffic, there is an old shop at the end of the street, which looks like a bookstore. When you get closer, you find that it is a private theater, which belongs to the famous painting theater that specializes in showing old movies. Two movies are played every day.

I originally planned to leave, but I am a little curious about the poster released today. It is a lonely figure standing by the sea.

So I went in, chose a one-person screening room, and sat on a soft sofa waiting for the film to play.

The picture quality of this movie is very average, but even so, I can still see a weird sense of déjà vu from the protagonist.

He is like a body that has been separated from the soul, repeating the boring work day after day, living like a walking dead.

This is the state of life of many people to the outside world now, it is too normal, I don't know why I can see the sense of déjà vu from him, and I can't help feeling anxious.

When the protagonist heard the news of his brother's death, his stagnant face finally showed some fluctuations, but soon became numb again, and refused to return to his hometown to take care of his nephew.

Just when I started to feel bored, the protagonist dug up the rotten and sore pain in the memory with his own hands.He couldn't face the past, when he accidentally started a fire in his hometown, which killed his three children.

A hideous rift was torn open on the calm surface. When he committed suicide with a gun in his memory, I suddenly understood why I saw a sense of déjà vu in him.

His body is alive, but his soul is dead.

Just like me.

The movie is still going on, and he finally chose to go back to his hometown for his nephew, and with his nephew's company, he showed his first smile in the whole movie.

According to the traditional HE ending, they will accompany each other and go on together, and the protagonist will come out sooner or later.

But no, he finally collapsed and found that he couldn't look back at the past at all, and even venting hysteria was a luxury for him.

At the end of the movie, he said to his nephew in tears.

*"I't beat it."

(I can't get out)

……

This is a very depressing movie, the protagonist's life can be regarded as overlapping with mine.So when I saw him give up on reconciling with himself, it was very understandable.

I thought I'd get caught up in his emotions and maybe break down again, or cry again.

But none.

I can even look at the development of the plot in the movie very calmly, from the protagonist's trance state to the sadness of isolating the outside world, to the despair of giving up saving himself.

Ultimately he decides to live in the past alone.

The movie has already started to play the cast list at this time, and my pale face is reflected in the dark background.

... time to leave.

But I don't want to move at all.

I feel so tired, I haven't been this tired for a long time.

The wound in my heart has been dug up again, it is empty, and even if I move my fingers a little, there will be a long pain.

The second movie is a comedy, sharp and loud with funny images and absurd laughter echoing through the room.

I don't know why, but I actually feel that it shouldn't be me watching the movie, it should be them in the screen.

They were looking at me and laughing.

Instead of me looking at them.

The phone on the sofa rang suddenly, and I shook my head before reaching for the phone and pressing the answer button.

"What are you doing~"

The moment I heard Gojo Satoru's voice, I burst into tears.I didn't cry when I watched the movie, but I cried when I heard his voice.

"Anna?"

With no reply, he called my name again.

"……exist."

"Are you crying?" He recognized it immediately.

I didn't answer, took one last look at the grotesque comic clown in the movie screen, got up and left.

On the other end of the phone was the voice of Gojo Satoru, who said, "I can't do it without me", and asked, "Why is it uncomfortable to cry?"

I saw him when I stepped out of the gate of the theater. He was standing in the middle of the street, bathed in the sun, without sunglasses or goggles. He gave me a wink with those beautiful big eyes.

The sky is clear and the wind is gentle, and his intentionally elongated ending voice can be heard in the earpiece: "Are you surprised——"

I presumably laughed, and wept as I laughed, the dull pain in my chest suddenly turned into an intense sadness that overwhelmed me almost immediately.

Gojo Satoru saw that I was crying, and the expression on his face softened, and when he was about to come over, I stopped him: "...I'm coming."

He stopped abruptly.

The sight in front of me was a blur of water, I laughed silently again, and repeated: "...I want to come over."

I took the first step.

No hallucinations, no frightening things,

Then the second step, the third step.

Go faster and faster, go faster and faster.

Finally I just ran.

The cold wind was blowing in my face, and all the scattered pedestrians around me were forgotten by me. There was only that bright white in my hazy vision, which was more dazzling than the lighthouse on the vast sea.

Cracking crackling sounds sounded one after another, something was peeling off my body piece by piece, withered into broken pieces together with escape and pain, and was swept away by the winter wind.

As the fragments peeled off, the barrier between me and the outside world was gradually breaking down, and the world suddenly became clear.

Birds soaring in the sky, buildings row upon row, and things that I didn't notice before finally came into my sight.

My body became lighter and lighter, but the sadness in my heart became heavier and heavier, as if the illusion of whitewashing the surface was completely shattered, and the scars that were about to rot buried underneath were completely exposed.

Across the long sorrow, stepping on the last step of bricks, she threw herself into his arms with his wide open hands, clutched his clothes tightly, and cried out wantonly.

It's not crying silently, let alone sobbing softly, but completely letting go of the throat, using almost all the strength to pour out all the sorrow, breaking down and crying loudly.

This was the first and last time I cried outright catharsis.

I was sobbing, my forehead firmly pressed against Gojo Satoru's chest.

"I, I know—"

"I actually know—"

The possibility of seeing Ann is already very low. I just stubbornly hold on to that small hope, unwilling to give up, unwilling to face reality.

I should have moved on.

But I held good memories and refused to move forward.

I am a coward.

Fear that there is nothing in front of you, and you will get nothing.

So I chose to hide in the shell.

but……

but--

I choked up and raised my head, and finally admitted my previous avoidance: "I, I should move forward——"

The dense mist in front of my eyes prevented me from seeing his face clearly, and I could only vaguely see the outline of his facial features.

Gojo Satoru hugged my shoulders, the sun poured down from his side face, his voice was low, as if it was filled with warmth: "Yes. I will take you away."

The sky is blue and high, thin clouds are flowing, and a few buds are sprouting from the bare branches. They are all approaching spring, hoping to bloom brilliant flowers one day.

……

I now.

You can try to move forward.

Because someone told me that if I don't want to go forward, I can stand where I am and wait for him to come to me.

……

I should have moved on.

I'm going to...let it go.

The author has something to say: *It is the original lines of the movie "Manchester by the Sea". I just borrowed a little bit from the male lead in Baby Anna's performance...