Cosmos

When I debuted, I carried a lot of labels on my body, the most eye-catching ones are EXO fans, chaebol girls and facial expressions.

Although the legend of the chaebol girl seems to be true or false, it is difficult to add these labels together without attracting attention.

This is simply the heroine of Mary Su's novel. Although it is hard to say that she is not jealous, envy is definitely true, which can be called the degree of the chosen daughter.

Fortunately, my debut work was a big hit. Although I acted as the second female lead, she is more likable than the heroine. The bonus of one role is enough for a long time.

The resources are very good, and the journey is going smoothly without any stumbling blocks, but I don’t know when it started, there is a scandal that people can’t get rid of, leisurely CP.

If it is a CP culture created by fans on a whim, there is no need to bring it into the real world. After all, compared to me as an actor, Baekhyun as an idol would be more taboo to get along with the opposite sex.

However, things did not go as EXO fans wished. The CP fan group did not disintegrate with the end of the TV series. On the contrary, Baekhyun and I's leisurely CP was once pushed to the first place in Korea's annual CP list.

This is a difficult thing for idol fans to accept. I understand everyone's feelings, because I am also a fan. When asked by a boring reporter, I looked at the camera and admitted generously.

"I'm a fan. Aries are not such stingy people. It's just work."

Later, the fans said that the way I held my face and admitted that I was a fan in front of the camera was really not malicious, what a generous attitude.

I just filmed a drama with my favorite idol, and then I was surrounded by fans who are addicted to the atmosphere of TV characters. The only difference from other character CPs is that this pair is more popular, so I didn’t do anything. Wrong, but not in a state of trepidation.

The subsequent development was as everyone expected. I conscientiously fulfilled my responsibilities as an actor. As a qualified star-chaser, I naturally worked hard to call my brother when necessary.

The identity of Ai Li and junior makes it easier for me to get close to Baekhyun. No one knows that I, who said I was just a fan at the beginning, have already been secretly tempted.

How could I, who was young, ignorant and inexperienced, be able to get along with my favorite idol day and night and do some intimate daily playfulness as a couple?

Since actors want to play a good role, they must first enter the play, so whether they are in love in the play, or we are in love outside the play, is a fact that only the parties involved can know.

Later, when I was filming, there were very serious scandals with other artists, probably because the ratings of the TV series were so good, the crew also deliberately hyped it up, and some daily interactions became ambiguous through the rendering of the camera.

At that time, I really hated the hype and some extreme CP culture of rising real people. I had the capital to resist, so I took a certain opportunity and sent a post saying that I have someone I like .

Although doing so is rebellious and does not conform to the code of conduct of an artist at all, I just did it straightforwardly.

I actually don't know whether it's because I don't like those messy scandals, or because I'm afraid that those scandals will make me a strange entertainer in his eyes.

I don't want to be the same in Baekhyun's eyes, he has met many people, the only thing that attracts me to him is his indomitable enthusiasm and indelible innocence.

That's what Bian Baekhyun admires, the people in their circle are too tired.

In fact, he and Baekhyun have been in an ambiguous relationship a long time ago. Koreans actually like to play ambiguous, and they will have a long period of ambiguous time before confirming the relationship.

But when I got his answer that a kiss is nothing, I suddenly understood that for an artist, ambiguity is love.

Their ambiguity has no end, and the relationship is not determined when the ambiguity reaches the end like ordinary people, but their ambiguity ends when it reaches the end.

At that moment, I was actually very sad, and I really hated Bian Baekhyun, not only because he was rejected, but also because he rejected me, and at the same time broke all the fantasies in my heart of chasing stars for many years.

He destroyed Bian Baekhyun's image in my heart and collapsed. Why did he use Bian Baekhyun's identity to say such heartless words to me? In fact, I just can't accept that kind of ambiguity that is not right.

So I feel completely away from him and block him. At this moment, it seems that we are really not from the same world. The education I received from childhood cannot allow me to do such things.

But I didn't expect that it might be because of my sudden sense of distance that Bian Baekhyun felt unaccustomed to it, and kept approaching me.

Bian Boxian must have thought that the person who was always chasing him before suddenly calmed down. In fact, I couldn't completely ignore him.

The person I really like will fall in love again at some unexpected opportunity, not to mention that I like him very much in the first place.

I can feel that my understanding of "Bian Baekhyun" is gradually collapsing. He started to shatter the inherent fantasies that existed in my mind before, and let me start to get closer to the real Byun Baekhyun.

Let me understand that he also has negative emotions, and he is also a person with selfish thoughts. I even noticed that at a certain moment Baekhyun deliberately destroyed those perfect images in front of me.

Not gentle, not happy, not tolerant, but cautiously probing, he is telling me Baekhyun is not a perfect person, so would he still like him?

I actually understand this feeling very well, because a large part of the reason for popularity and success starts with appearance, sincerity is a luxury for them.

A big part of the reason why he likes me is that my sincerity without any part of acting is what they all want. Just like those artists who like me, Baekhyun envied me at a certain moment.

I don't know why after the relationship became so complicated, I still chose to continue to entangle with him, holding hands, kissing, and even doing the most intimate thing on a drunk Christmas.

The development of this relationship seems to be getting more and more out of control, but I have become more and more obsessed with him. I know that I have really fallen on him and must be him.

Regarding the fact that I boldly said that I have someone I like, some people said that it was because I didn’t want to be troubled by CP fans and scandals, and some people thought that I actually have a boyfriend. I'm afraid my boyfriend will be jealous.

I didn’t give any response to these two statements. What I want to achieve is to prevent everyone from doing nothing and implicating me with other male artists, because I know that Baekhyun is actually a stingy person.

He is very jealous, and also very good at acting like a baby. He is really unreasonable when he is overbearing. It took me a long time to realize this deeply.

Bian Baekhyun is very scary when he is angry, the kind of good temperament that he has cultivated for many years as an artist all becomes terrifying and fierce when he is angry.

When he is really jealous, he is always difficult to coax, and he tries his best to torture others in bed. He is really a narrow-minded and selfish man.

I don't know when I acquiesced and accepted this strange relationship, should I say falling in love?

But neither of us spoke about the status of boyfriend and girlfriend, but we still maintain an intimacy like lovers. To put it bluntly, it is actually different from a bed|partner.

I am not unfamiliar at all. Everyone thinks that I am naive but I am not a fool. My family is happy and happy, but I have heard a lot about it. Talking about unnamed love is nothing.

I even thought, if one day we accidentally have a child, will our child be regarded as an illegitimate child?

It's a bit far away, but during that intimate time, both of us were addicted to it, and we didn't even want to think about the future.

I don't even want to think about what kind of world it will be when these things are known to fans and the outside world. I think it must be terrible.

There have always been rumors about who I like, and everyone thinks that the most likely candidate is Baekhyun.

In fact, I wanted to nod my head and admit it countless times, but I am more aware of the result after admitting that it is impossible to be happy and happy, and it must be parted ways.

Everything about the artist will be paid attention to. I know that Baekhyun will probably not be able to marry me if it is made public, and he will break up during the relationship, because the pressure is too great.

We will be condemned by fans, he will be scolded by his illegitimate fan, invade the privacy of his life without any scruples, and then be pointed at his nose and called ungrateful, and I am the source of his ungratefulness, if that is true, no one is completely innocent.

Even if everyone is stabilized, it can be made public, and everything seems to be developing in a good direction, so I am not sure how far the love that has attracted everyone's attention can go.

It might be a mistake to be too young, but when I was young, I met a man who had to be him. It would be great if Bian Baekhyun had the same determination as me, but he doesn't.

It's my guess, and I firmly believe in this answer.

Bian Boxian has put in too much effort to get to where he is today, and everything he got is the result of ten times and a hundred times of his efforts.

He said in the past that what is obtained without hard work can be easily lost, so I can't help in this matter. Bian Baekhyun is not a person who is willing to accept other people's kindness for no reason, I know it very well.

In fact, he is a person who knows the boundaries very well, and when getting along with others, he will maintain a comfortable attitude for both parties, but once the other party crosses the line, he can immediately stay away without hesitation.

It belongs to someone who is somewhat indifferent, rational to others and sober to himself.

But he is only confused about love. He doesn't like to drink, but he always hugs me when he is drunk and doesn't talk, or he just mutters a lot.

The pressure can be imagined, so if you think about it from another angle, is this relationship probably also a way for him to escape the pressure?

Probably because of being addicted to love with the person I like, time flies so fast, and before I know it, Baekhyun will be enlisting in the army.

I actually had a premonition, he started to be busy day and night, and he even held a personal concert, and the Japanese college also released, sang a lot of OST, and the younger generation also brought a lot, so busy that he didn't touch the ground. I'm sure enlistment is not far off.

Enlisting in the army is a very scary watershed. It will break up or not be popular. This is something that many artists are worried about, and I am also worried, worried that our relationship will become more and more distant with time and distance, and I will even fall into the panic of losing him. , completely at a loss.

But I can't tell anyone about those panics, and I can't tell Baekhyun Bian that the sense of security is what both of us lack. We can only use other things to make the other party forget that panic.

The day of enlisting in the army is coming, adhering to the consistent principle of keeping a low profile, Baekhyun, like other members, also chose not to enlist publicly, I still went with it, because I don’t know when the next meeting will be.

Once people leave, those who stay will feel extraordinarily deserted and empty, but the netizens are not idle. There is a post on the Internet. Guess our ambiguity.

Fans said that at the award ceremony on the same stage, I would run to him with a smile, and my eyes and hearts were all on him.

What was said in the post was so true that fans didn’t bother to refute it, and I didn’t bother to speak, I just got more and more tired from seeing the captured ambiguities.

But it also made me see more clearly that in these exploration actions, he is the star I yearn for, and there are traces of my love for him.

Can I still wait until he is discharged from the army? I often think like this.

So much so that Baekhyun met him desperately when he was on vacation, even at the risk of being photographed, he just wanted to seek a sense of familiar security from him.

My mother said that I was living in chaos and lost my way, and even said Baekhyun was a bad person, probably because they didn't expect that I would live such an unjust life with a man.

In fact, I am also a bad person. I opened up the beast in his heart and stained his spotless white shirt. We are all bad people.

The author has something to say:

The words coded by the sudden inspiration today, I feel that some words may feel different when dictated from the first perspective. If I write from the third perspective, some words always seem to be less feeling.

Today is: Strange Kobayashi & Strange Baekhyun

……

Happy New Year~

I don’t have much to say about other blessings, and they can’t be realized anyway—from the king who devotes himself every day to making you feel that Xiaolin and Lao Bian’s sweetness is a dream and a falsehood