filled

When the time is right, say this again in a fair manner: "I like brother."

Shi Fang choked, half ashamed and half annoyed: "Except for me!"

"Didn't you say you would restrain yourself?"

Yan Zheng cried out aggrievedly: "I have restrained enough, but I still like you!"

"The two don't conflict!"

It is not that Shi Fangman has never seen a rambunctious student in his teaching career for several years, but he has never seen an adult who can be so rambunctious: "You restrained yourself and still send me messages all day long?"

"I didn't even dare to come back to look for you. I didn't dare to come here until it's a holiday! And I just sent a message, and I kept restraining myself from calling you..."

"That's because I didn't answer after you called several times!"

"Yeah, I deliberately didn't answer my calls, and if you can reply two or three messages a month, it's not bad."

Yan Zheng lowered his head, his hair drooping on his shoulders: "It was very reluctant to invite me into the house today, right? Even though you asked me to eat together, it was probably just because of being polite, right? Half of the people will be gone when the rice is cooked. I don't want to. Seeing me, I don’t even want to cook for me.”

Shi Fang listened to his complaint in a daze, half of which made him feel guilty, but he was very angry about not wanting to cook: "I cook, why are you so close? If it wasn't because of that , would I shamefully sprinkle myself with water?"

"Brother won't you let me like you? So I haven't seen you for so long, am I not even allowed to take a closer look?"

"So, saying that I can have the right to come and visit during the holidays is just a way to delay the attack. Brother actually hates me and wishes that I would never appear again and disappear from your side forever, right?"

Shi Fangman didn't notice the faint light in Yan Zheng's eyes, he only heard the other party's voice low, and subconsciously replied: "No."

"I……"

Shi Fangman hesitated whether he should tell his true thoughts. He really hoped that time could wear away the love of youth, and he also used indifference and resistance to push that person away from his life, but would it disappear forever? ?

He never thought about it.

But Yan Zheng can no longer be given any hope. His denial seems to have given the other party an inappropriate signal. It is pointless to continue such a childish quarrel.

The hesitant words were replaced by another familiar sentence, and the words that were brewed in the bedroom just now spit out naturally at this time: "I don't hate you, but no matter what you do, you just don't hate it."

"You know my body, it's not normal, but..."

Yan Zheng's deep voice interrupted directly: "I feel very good, I..."

Shi Fangman raised his voice and interrupted him again: "It is impossible for me to like anyone with that body. What do you think I will think? Do you feel inferior? Are you afraid of being discovered? Are you envious and jealous of other people?"

"I will have those feelings, but with so many things accumulated, what will it be in the end?"

"For the sense of identity that I am a different kind, and the sense of separation from other people," Shi Fangman slowly stretched out both hands, pointing at Yan Zheng with one hand, and covering his heart with the other: "You and I are opposites."

This is indeed Shi Fangman's idea, and it is not a deception.It is impossible for him to show Yan Zheng the most important knot in his heart, but he has already spread enough, and no one has ever called him so naked.

Yan Zheng didn't say a word, his eyes wandered between Shi Fangman's opened hands, that wasn't a long distance, but at this moment it represented a gap between heaven and earth.

"That night, I didn't have the chance or the courage to say it, but I'm afraid you will be disappointed by the me you like. I have no tenderness, no kindness, and nothing that can warm you."

He told the truth in a calm tone: "I just happened to show up when you needed it and gave you some comfort. You are still young. If you walk out of this world, you will find that you are truly as bright as the bright and hot sun." what a human being is like."

"If you're cold, you should be heading toward the sun, not stuck here."

Yan Zheng lowered the arm supporting his chin slowly, put his arms on the table, leaned forward, got closer, and looked at him intently.

After a long time, with a hoarse voice, he repeated in a low voice: "...trapped here?"

"Yes, stuck here,

"How do you tell others that the person you like is physically deformed, how do you hold his hand and walk on the road, you can't give him any real legal commitment, you can't participate in his life in any capacity And death, abandoning all the normal and blessed goodness, trapped in a sticky wrong feeling for the whole life, trapped until the light you thought faded away, waiting for the belated regret in the cold and dead silence."

Shi Fangman said such a long series of words, which was more smooth and comfortable than what he had prepared. He stared at the young man who was focused on himself: "Think about what I said."

To his surprise, those eyes with long eyelashes were slowly bent, and the face that was still serious a second ago suddenly became smiling and lively again.

"Brother, so much just now, I can understand that you are teaching me how to cherish you?"

Shi Fangman's glasses were about to fall out of shock, his tongue knotted unconsciously, and he stammered: "You...you...what are you listening to?"

He held his glasses, his chest felt tight, looked at Yan Zheng who was smiling innocently, and tried his best to suppress his anger.

Yan Zheng's body was lowered, and his hands on the table gradually moved forward. Under the action of gravity, his pure black and soft long hair slid down from behind his shoulders and piled up beside his fair and pink earlobes. , there were also a few strands still sticking to the outside of his cheeks, and he swayed slightly when he moved, Shi Fangman couldn't control his anger, and his eyes couldn't help following the messy hair ends.

Yan Zheng opened his eyes slightly, tilted his head and tried to shake it a few times, and found that Shi Fangman's pupils were shaking accordingly, shrugging his shoulders on the table and laughing out loud.

"I see you really like this?"

"Keep staring, imagining I'm a girl?"

The sudden change of topic and muffled laughter ruined the original atmosphere. The narrow smile on Yan Zheng's face made Shi Fang weakly realize that he is really a kid who is very good at playing tricks, why is he so angry? I couldn't say it, so I could only keep a cold face: "Be serious."

"Okay, but I just found out, right?"

"how come?"

"But you blushed when you spoke."

He suddenly leaned forward, stretched out one arm to wrap his arms around the neck of the man who was still trying to refute with his head up, and pressed it decisively and quickly, while the other hand rested on the table so that he could use his strength to lean over, leaned closer and kissed accurately When he arrived, the man's lips were slightly parted and he was still talking.

This was a regrettable short kiss, the lips were rubbed a few times, and the breaths were exchanged a few times, and the heat of the other body was struggled to end before it could be fully experienced.

But even so, the force of the kiss still left the man's bloodshot red lips after parting. When Shi Fang looked at the instigator of the sneak attack in disbelief, some saliva was still dripping from the corners of his lips, and his glasses Some white water mist, as thin as a cicada's wings, rose from the lower edge, hastily covering a pair of crystal clear brown eyes.

He was quickly thrown away, and Yan Zheng felt regretful in his heart.

"Brother, have you forgotten that you called me a lunatic before?"

The drunken night that Shi Fangman didn't want to recall, flashed clearly in his mind in an instant.All those crazy forced pains and joys, all those wet and sticky things were pressed down hard and thrown into the box. Mess everywhere.

"I don't need to think about what you said at all. As I said before, if I am a lunatic, I don't need to be reasonable."

"I like brother, but don't reason with him. I will never give up no matter what. I will wait until brother agrees."

Shi Fangman gritted his teeth, wiped off the liquid from the corner of his lips with the back of his hand, kicked off the chair, and stood up.

As if Yan Zheng didn't see it, he reached out for the bowls and chopsticks that had been filled by Shi Fangman, and also stood up and left the table.With the sound of running water from the unscrewed faucet, he raised his voice, and announced to the departing person with a smile: "But my patience is limited, so I will wait for you a little longer, and I won't wait any longer. .”

Memories of Wen Qing

The weather was getting colder and colder, and the final exam started amidst the howling of the students, and ended with a joyful noise.After correcting the papers for a few days, the teachers posted the grades of each subject on the year-end evaluation, which will be announced at the parent meeting next Monday, and the teaching work of this semester will officially come to an end.

As usual, the teachers of each grade will organize a gathering before the official holiday. This time it will be on the night of the parent meeting. Shi Fangman is sitting at the side and writing the final comments for the students. While listening to their discussion, someone suddenly shouted : "Teacher Shi?"

Shi Fangman's writing pen stopped, he answered, and looked up, the man pushed the female teacher next to him, and said with a smile: "Mr. Shi, come over too? Sing together at night?"

Shi Fangman was not very familiar with the speaker. He was the life teacher in charge of the boarding students in the school. He was not the head teacher this year. If he didn't go to the dormitory to check the dormitory, the two of them had little chance to contact each other at other times, but the female teacher next to him was The graduate student who joined the job this year also teaches mathematics. According to the school's practice of partnering with an old teacher + a new teacher, he is now Shi Fangman's partner. This year's mathematics is that they each teach four classes.

Shi Fangman waved his hands in embarrassment: "I won't go, I have something to do at home..."

"Is Teacher Shi getting married soon?"

This topic has to come up every once in a while, and the older unmarried young people can only covertly reach out to get the insulation on the corner of the table.