[Comprehensive] Light and Shadow

apologize: apologize

An and Shimada said that as long as his brother can apologize properly, he will forgive him.

When An was dissatisfied with Shimada for talking about him, Shimada apologized, and An forgave; Tian killed him, but Shimada touched his head and apologized.

Ann didn't understand, what exactly was Shimada apologizing for?Can't go home, can't be together, or can't kill him?

Only this time, An would never forgive Shimada no matter what.

hers: brothers

An and Shimada are brothers, even though they have been hostile to each other from the very beginning, they get along coldly, and every time they quarrel, it seems that everyone wants the other party to disappear quickly.But the real Shimada will still give Ann a living allowance every month, and Ann will still say welcome back when Shimada comes back.

This pair of brothers can't love each other, but they can't really abandon each other. Both of them are stubbornly sticking to each other as if they are clinging to a meaningless blood relationship.

But An didn't say that at the moment Shimada died, he really felt a heart-piercing pain in his chest. The pain, like the inseparable pain in the blood, came from his brother's life. The last tragic call, and at that moment he looked at the window with tears streaming down his face.

And later Shimada never said that when he devoured the real Shimada's brain, the man's feelings and consciousness came from his mind, most of them were dark, and the man's last consciousness was—his brother , still waiting for him at home.

k: cooking

Shimada doesn’t like to eat human food, but he will eat the ramen made by Ann himself for Ann’s sake, and he says it’s delicious; he will also learn how to cook for Ann’s sake, and he will come home on time for dinner every day to eat with Ann. No need for dinner.

Sometimes, Shimada wondered why he would do such troublesome and unnecessary things.

But every day at dinner time, Shimada still goes to the kitchen to cook.

death: death

Ann has a pair of eyes that can see through death.

Therefore, An believes that the trajectory of life has been written at birth, and the strangle marks of death have been bound around human necks from the very beginning.For him, everyone's death is just a predestined fate. Even if Shimada really kills someone, it is still part of the fate. Even if there is no Shimada, those people will still die on that day.And Shimada's death was nothing but an inescapable fate.

But despite knowing this, on the day Shimada died, Ann was still on the verge of collapse in pain.

eye: eyes

Shimada Hideo said that Ann has beautiful eyes.Only in the eyes of this human being, there will be no look of fear and panic towards him, but as always, he will stare at him honestly and seriously.

When Shimada said that he would take over An's body after An's death, Shimada looked at those eyes and felt a little pity.

He knew that even if he took over this human body, those purple eyes would never show such a beautiful color again.

flaw: flaw

For An, Shimada's younger brother who has been with him for a long time, Shimada who appeared later was completely full of flaws.

But Ann didn't care, and didn't want to point it out.

Ann just didn't want this Shimada to leave at first, but later it became that he couldn't leave Shimada.

grieve: grief

When Shimada saw the bloodless boy sitting in the wheelchair crying and shaking, begging himself with tears streaming down his face, Shimada wanted to comfort the boy, but in the end he couldn't think of words in his barren words to say.

This was probably a mistake, Shimada originally wanted to say, Ann, I want to take you home.

Finally said sorry.

heart: heart

Parasitic beasts live off of human hearts, but they don't have human emotions.Perfect, sane, and powerful, they are like cold sculptures, forever silent and calm.

But Ann's appearance taught Shimada feelings. Maybe Shimada couldn't understand, or he didn't realize it, but the tender feeling that belongs to Ann has always really existed.

image: photo

When Shimada died, Ancai found out that he had foolishly never taken a photo of Shimada, not even a group photo.

On that deathly silent night without Shimada, An could only hold Shimada's student card and look at the small one-inch photo.

Let him look at Shimada again, and let Shimada look at him again.

y: journey

In Ann's expectation, witnessing Shimada's death would not be so painful.

Since they have agreed with each other to be together forever, that's how it is.No matter what the future road is, An will go on with Shimada, even if this road is a way of thinking that has no return.

However, the facts are always different from expectations, but at least one thing is the same, they will still be together.

:kitchen

After Shimada's death, the family kitchen will probably remain empty forever.

Maybe more than that.

This home will be empty forever.

:listen

In the silent house alone, Ann talked a lot, but in the end it still stopped at suppressed sobs.

I don't know why the tears can't stop.

Oh, right.

Because the person who has been listening to him is dead.

ry: memory

Human memory is very weak, as time goes by, any deep memory will be eroded and forgotten.

An thought, maybe Shimada in memory would do the same.

As time goes by, Shimada will disappear little by little, until nothing remains.

So, how can we remember Shimada forever?

d: required

When they were both around, Ann was needed by Shimada, and Shimada was needed by Ann.

When they are not around, it is just two people missing in the world, two people who no one will remember and are not needed.

But the two of them need each other.

own: possession

Shimada felt that An belonged to his human race.

Beautiful purple eyes, pale and slender hands, thin shoulders, tight belly, and well-defined ankles.

It's all his.

Including, life.

ise: commitment

Shimada Hideo told An that after An died, he would take over his body and memory so that they could coexist in this form.

When Ann heard it, she laughed, but her eyes were a little red.Because Shimada didn't know what a promise he had made.Shimada didn't know that his death date was one day earlier than Ann's.

Although she knew it was an impossible promise, at that moment Ann still felt so joyful that she wanted to cry.

:silence

An lay alone on the cold bed, quietly staring at the darkness with eyes open.

The sound of the heart is so loud, bro, what do you think?

:Hand-Pulled Noodle

On the day after Shimada's death, Ann made a bowl of clear soup ramen at home.

While complaining endlessly about not being as good as his brother's cooking, Ann swallowed until her mouth was bulging and was about to spit it out. In the end, Ann only saw a face full of tears in the clear soup.

sex: make / love

Every time I have sex/love, An takes the initiative to pester Shimada to do it, but in fact An rarely gets pleasure from this kind of thing.Maybe it's the young age, maybe it's the stunted body, but Ann still likes the combination of the body very much.

Wanting to get closer to Shimada, wanting to fully own each other, wanting to let the other party fully own oneself, this kind of psychological pleasure can completely satisfy the physical deficiency.An likes to fill Shimada's eyes with his own figure, likes to be hugged by those solid and powerful shoulders, likes to be invaded by Shimada's force and domineering, it will make him feel that he is desired and needed.

trigger: trigger

When the human aimed at Shimada's trigger and frantically pulled it, Shimada completely blocked the boy's thin body with his body.

The human beings he protects with all his heart naturally cannot be harmed by others.

This human being is different, and Ann is the only treasure that Shimada treasures.

:finally

The sun fell from the branches and dead leaves, and the cool wind caressed the pure white curtains through the windows.

An slowly opened her eyes, looked at the empty space beside her, and pursed her lips into a smile.

Brother, good morning, today is my death day.

vanish: disappear

What is the most indispensable thing in this world?are people.

Who will find out, who disappeared?

window: window

Ann often sits by the window, looking at the scenery outside the window.Maybe it was Shimada, maybe it was himself, who imprisoned himself in a small and dark world, and then shrank to look at the bright world outside that did not belong to him.

When the real Shimada died, An knew that no one would come back.But on that day, he saw a man from the window who was the same as his brother, but with a different date of death.

Later, An thought, probably because of that one glance, he was pulled into that Shimada's world, never to return.

But this time, Ann would follow Shimada's pace and quickly run to catch up with him, and then they would never separate again.

xanadu: another world

In her sleep, Ann had a sweet dream.He slept with his brother until he woke up at noon, sat on the sofa lazily waiting for Shimada to sit down for lunch, then in the afternoon he leaned on his brother and watched TV with nothing to do, after dinner, his brother went out for a walk on his back By the way, I packed a box of cakes and came back.Finally, lying on the bed late at night, he carefully looked at Shimada's face carefully.

It was such a wonderful dream, An leaned over and kissed the corner of the man's mouth lightly, but it was time for him to wake up.

Even in the dream, Shimada was still indifferent but doting on him, reached out to stroke his hair, and said yes.

In the world after waking up, there is no Hideo Shimada.

rday: yesterday

Shimada died yesterday, today is a new day.

zero: zero

On this day, a fire broke out in Shimada's apartment, and a teenager with disabled legs died in the flames.

The burned-out room turned into a black wreck.

No one will ever say I'm back, and no one will ever say welcome back.