Writer saves the world

What kind of story does this article called "Yam Porridge" tell?

To roughly summarize, there was a down-and-out fifth-rank samurai in the Heian period—so down-and-out that he didn’t even have a surname, and he was abbreviated as "fifth-rank" by the author.The only hope in the impoverished, poor and bullied five-pin life is that once a year, when the distinguished guests come to the door, they can taste a little yam porridge with the honor of the host's house.

Only a little bit, just enough to moisten the throat.

Therefore, for a long time, Wupin has regarded "a full meal of yam porridge" as his greatest wish and happiness in his life. It can even be said that he endured bullying and living in poverty because of this hope.

The small and distant wish of Wupin came true one day. A nobleman prepared several large pots of yam porridge for him, promising him to drink as much as he wanted until he was satisfied.This is obviously an extremely happy and joyful thing, but Wupin is more and more painful because of the too many yam porridge. The deliciousness like fine nectar and jade dew in the past makes him feel full just by looking at it, even if he barely drinks it After going down a little bit, I was so uncomfortable that I wanted to vomit it out in a second.

At this time, when Wupin thought of the self who lived a hard life and only looked forward to the once-a-year yam porridge, he felt how happy he was at that time.

What "Yam Porridge" tells is just such a simple and easy-to-understand story. Due to the beautiful sentences and smooth narrative, every rhetoric is used just right, without any suspicion of showing off the writing style. At the same time, it also has a certain educational significance. Suitable for reading to children.

At least Xiuzhi's second brother thinks so.He finished reading "Yam Porridge" to Xiuzhi, and taught his younger brother in a rather elder-like manner: "So, we must not be greedy, you know. To be a human being, we must know how to be content and always be happy, otherwise we will be like the fifth grade, eating a big meal." Heaps of bitterness but got nothing."

He spoke seriously, and his understanding of the story was so standard that it could be used as a teaching plan for textbooks.Xiu Zhi, who was sitting on his lap, had stopped eating canned oranges at some point, and was still in a daze. Hearing what he said, he raised his head to look at him again.

"Brother Yingzhi sees it this way?" Xiuzhi asked, his voice was very low, he muttered in his mouth, and his body trembled as if feeling cold.He was holding more than half of the canned oranges left in his hand, and because his hands were shaking so much that he couldn't hold the thing steady, the sugar water spilled out of the can.

"Oh! Your clothes!" Eiji hurriedly put his younger brother down, avoiding the sugar water attack, but the spilled sugar water had already stained Shuzhi's clothes, staining the plain silk pajamas printed with peach blossoms with wet dark marks.

Two drops of sugar water splashed on Xiu Zhi's face, and slipped stickily from his pale cheeks to his lips.Xiuzhi licked it subconsciously, the sweet and sticky taste like honey reminded him of the yam porridge in the story.

Chopped yams, boiled with sweet kudzu juice, and even served on the emperor's table, suddenly overlapped with the high-grade canned oranges that he had just eaten, so that he suddenly couldn't help it. I felt the pain of Wupin, who was already full and wanted to vomit just by looking at it.

Will excessive happiness lead to misfortune instead?

very scary……

Xiu Zhi couldn't help trembling because of such thoughts, everything from fingertips to heart was paralyzed and convulsed.

If he has grown up, if he has experienced more, maybe he will love this article, as if he has found a soulmate, but at this moment, what young and immature children can feel is only the unspeakable Great fear.

He heard his elder brother yelling for him to quickly take off his dirty clothes and change into another one, and he also called the maid to clean up the tatami... There were voices like these in his ears, but he just wanted to respond, and his blank head also Nothing can be done.

very scary……

The so-called dreams, expectations, happiness... so it turned out to be such a terrible thing...

The more you can't get it, the happier you will be. Any little sweetness will produce more happiness and satisfaction because of regret and dissatisfaction.And "getting" may be the three sisters conjoined with "despair" and "emptiness", and they will swallow all the joy and happiness at the moment of getting it. Ecstasy is the interweaving of pain and worry about gains and losses, and then the endless emptiness makes people feel at a loss. So even the little hope that was originally there was annihilated together.

very scary……

There is such a cold, terrifying and breathless sense of desperation revealed between the lines in the story, why didn't Brother Yingzhi even understand half of it.

Is there something different about him?

Is it his head that is strange and damaged by the water?

Xiu Zhi thought confusedly.

And what he doesn't know is that the power called "supernatural power" that exists in his body and has not been discovered by him has collided head-on with another force that is also a supernatural power, just like two speeding trains colliding with each other. Together, although the other side stepped on the brakes as if aware of it, the violent impact still made people feel the suffocation of being thrown into the boundless deep sea.

Xiu Zhi sat back on the ground, breathing desperately but couldn't get any oxygen.Yingzhi also found out that his condition was wrong, and anxiously patted his cheek and called his name, and told the maid to call the doctor quickly.

As soon as Yingzhi was in a hurry, his voice became loud and loud, ringing in his ears like thunder.But Xiuzhi didn't notice it—he seemed to be approaching that peaceful, blank, and dark place again, he was so close to death, and if he was so close to one step forward, he could stay there forever.

But the happiness that was so close at hand made him so scared that he wanted to turn around and run away.

Like being chased by monsters, like being chased by demons, like being chased by death that follows like a shadow, such a beautiful place full of warmth and brilliance that fascinated him, he dragged his soul that yearned for closeness and desperately escaped.

The fragile body recovering from a serious illness couldn't bear such violent emotional fluctuations. The child kneeling on the ground shook his body a few times and fell down with a pale face.

The servants who stayed behind called the doctor when Yingzhi called out. It was a big deal for the young master who had just recovered from a serious illness to suddenly pass out. Naturally, some people rushed to call to inform the old lady who had just left the house not long ago.

——Forgive me, Eiji forgot the safety of his younger brother for a moment, his head was full of his father's furious black face, and the violent curses that made him unable to lift his head up.

No, even when his father was just sitting there, that tall figure was already like an evil ghost, making him want to cry without tears.

Fortunately, the doctor arrived in time, and it was diagnosed that the younger brother was just a little frightened, and because his body had not recovered after falling into the water and was relatively weak, he was too emotional for a moment to suddenly pass out.

What made him even more fortunate was that his father's affairs were urgent. Knowing that his son fell ill, he couldn't turn around in time, so his elder brother Wenzhi who went out together hurried back. When he didn't come back, he was still greatly relieved.

Wenzhi, who drove all the way back from the station, glared at the restless second brother, "Father will teach you a lesson when you come back." When he said this, Yingzhi's face immediately became sad, and Wenzhi asked again: "What do you want?" What kind of nonsensical things did Xiu Zhi see that frightened him like this?"

Their little brother is not a cowardly character, he is bold and curious like a cat, and he was reprimanded by his father for sneaking into his and his father's dining room. The cat turned into a little mouse.

Yingzhi replied with a bitter face: "It's the magazine on your desk. I even picked out a good article for him to read. If you don't believe me, you can read it yourself. I didn't show Xiuzhi anything that shouldn't be read."

There are indeed a few articles in "Zhengming" that are not suitable for children to read, such as "Shanzai" and "Takose Boat" with bloody scenes, and "Tattoos" that made him blush after seeing it. He screened out all of them for a while Xiuzhi didn't see the last word, and carefully selected the safest and most harmless "Yam Porridge". When I was reading it, I wanted to let the kitchen learn how to make it, so that they could taste what it tasted like.

Yingzhi was so wronged that he was able to squeeze out a lot of bitter water. Wenzhi took the "Zhengming" handed over by the servant and flipped through it, and quickly read "Yam Porridge"-it is true that there is nothing inappropriate for children, but the three-year-old next door The little cousin won't be scared by the story either.

"I think Xiuzhi is too weak." Yingzhi muttered, trying to lessen his guilt in front of his elder brother, "And it's not necessarily because of being frightened. Didn't the doctor say that he fainted because of being too emotional? You agree with your father. I took him out to play today and regretted it, I am Xiuzhi and I will pass out from grief."

Wen Zhi was a little embarrassed by his younger brother's accusation, and coughed twice in embarrassment, "This was arranged by my father."

Originally, he wanted to say that it would be good for Xiuzhi to wear a few more clothes. They used a private car to go back and forth, and it was an indoor trip. After Xiuzhi fell into the water, he was stuffy in the room for more than a month, and it would be good for him to go out and relax.

But his father had already spoken, and he could only swallow the words that came to his lips.

"In short, don't show this magazine to Xiuzhi in the future." Wenzhi asked his servants to take the magazine to his study and put it away. The meaning in the words made Yingzhi raise his eyebrows, and he came over and said, "Brother, you also think this magazine is good. Right, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen something so serious.” He sighed, “There is still hope for our Japanese literary world.”

Wen Zhi didn't want to talk to the younger brother, so he pretended not to hear him and let him go. After sending the doctor away, he went into his brother's room——Xiu Zhi was only in a coma for a short time, and he was already awake when the doctor arrived.He seemed a little embarrassed about the commotion he had caused. He covered the lower half of his face with the quilt, and looked at his brother with iris-colored eyes.

Wen Zhi knelt down beside him, touched his younger brother's forehead to make sure he didn't have a fever, and the two brothers sat in silence for a while, before Xiu Zhi whispered: "Brother..."

Wen Zhi nodded, "It's nothing, as long as you are in good health, take a good rest these few days, and tell Ah He if you want to eat. School... If you don't want to go, don't go, I will explain to my father. "

Ahe is the maid who serves Xiuzhi. Her parents work in the orchard of Xiuzhi's family, and her younger brother is an apprentice in the shop. The Xiuzhi family is one of the most wealthy families in the local area. Their company, farmland, orchard and other industries support It is also with the support of their family that the livelihood of half of the families in the vicinity has been lost, and the schools in the vicinity have not been closed like the schools in other places.

Although the main purpose is to let their own children go to school, their family does not like family education, and prefers to put their children among their peers nearby.After all, only by establishing prestige among peers can the family's voice in the local area be maintained in the future.

All the older brothers above Xiuzhi have done well, but Xiuzhi encountered difficulties here - his grades are very good, he is also cute and likable, but he has no way to integrate into the group at all, and he will say something in public to make his classmates Or if the teacher was embarrassed, the teacher came to complain several times within a few days after entering school.

And Xiuzhi himself was very tired of studying. When he was reprimanded by his father for the first time, he was too smart, so he clearly saw what he didn't want to see-hypocrisy, lies, bullying, bribe……

What he saw from relatives, servants, and guests at home, he copied and pasted them intact at school.Xiu Zhi is not afraid of the dark side represented by those things, but he can't help but be afraid of whether the outside world is full of repeated scripts copied and pasted, so boring that he has nothing new to look forward to tomorrow.

School is not good at all.He said so, but his father told him to shut up.

The elder brothers also couldn't understand his distress, as if he was a strange alien, at most they could only pat him on the head and comfort him that he is still young now, and some things will be understood when he grows up.

Xiuzhi can see everything, but no one is willing to listen to him seriously; Xiuzhi can hear everything, the voices outside, the voices in his heart, the voices in his head like a machine running, making him go crazy day and night.

He knew that he was "abnormal" like this, and forced himself to look "normal", but the more he tried to pretend, the louder and harsher the voices became, and they echoed endlessly even in his sleep.

shut up, shut up...

stop, please... stop...

Until the moment when he fell into the water and was close to death, his world finally got the long-lost peace.

That is the magic of "death".

It was so beautiful that he could taste it, although now he only had a little desire, but that little desire tempted him to go to the water's edge, to a place closer to death.

Get closer, get closer.

Just like the yam porridge that Wupin can only taste once a year, the near-death experience of falling into the water shattered a bottle full of dirty black mud in his heart, causing him to sink deeper and deeper in the absurd and twisted longing. Think of "feeding on eternal peace" as a distant but wonderful dream.

But not.

Xiu Zhi has already understood this truth, the more he desires, the less he can get that thing.

The moment he gets... the moment he dies...

He has nothing left.