Port Mafia executives have something to say

"Mr. Jing, your face is really red."

The lady doctor looked at me worriedly and angrily, "It's only been a week since your knife wound, and the wound hasn't fully healed, and the stitches haven't even been removed yet! In addition, you used the freezing ability when fighting the Central Plains cadres,"

She said angrily, and reached out and touched my forehead, "Isn't this already a fever?!"

"It's ok,"

Probably because of a cold, my head at this time was noisy and painful like being sawed back and forth, and I slapped her hand away impatiently,

...However, her hurt expression made me feel guilty again, "Sorry, sister Rin, I'm a little worried."

When we were looking for the apron just now, it was still raining, but the rain came and went quickly, and now the sky has obviously cleared up.

This dilapidated mansion hidden in the deep mountains is said to be Mimic's base camp. There is obviously a trace of humidity around it, and the ground under the feet is muddy with leaves.I saw the corpses lying in disorder in front of the gate of the mansion, and the uneasiness in my heart was like a hand choking my throat.

"Odasaku!"

I faintly heard gunshots and Dazai's shouts from the direction of the roof, but when I got there——

……

I am not a brave kid.

It used to be that way.

Everyone in Mirufiore is quite friendly. As the leader of the Zhenliu Diaohua team, Kikyo often asks me to go out more. Although I don’t need to take a bath in the magma like pomegranate, I can’t stay in the room all day. inside.

I told him Lord Branda wouldn't like weapons walking around.He shook his head with a smile and said no.

But I was afraid of making Master Bailan feel unhappy, so I refused him.

The result is that Dianbo-chan, who was hiding at the door and eavesdropping for some reason, ran away angrily, and Kikyo sighed, and never mentioned this matter to me again.

Then, it was the only and last meeting with that man in my memory.

The leader of Dakong with warm eyes fell in a pool of blood, surrounded by screaming gunshots and running crowds, but he had a calm face and whispered to me before he died,

"You are a living person, not a weapon belonging to Bai Lan."

"Be a little braver in the future, and take the initiative to take a step forward."

He is obviously the leader of the enemy family, but his last words before he died have always been engraved in my heart.

But before I had time to go, taking that step forward, Master Bailan... the world was destroyed, and Shen Haijing ten years later would naturally cease to exist.

But for some reason, I got the memory of that time.

So, when I came to this brand new strange world and was accepted by Ms. Suzuki, I told myself to be brave: since I chose to leave that lonely seabed lair with Mrs. Bailan, I must learn to be A real human being, not just a weapon.

but……

The man didn't tell me—

……

I knelt beside Odasaku, and covered the wound on his chest with the ice made by freezing.

"Beijing……"

"Stop talking...Odasaku."

I felt like a puppet being pulled by a string.

My body was moving, crying, trying to save him, trying to do something to save his life.

But my soul was floating in mid-air as if it was torn apart, and I stayed quietly, watching Odasaku's life continue to scatter and wither, as withered and fragile as autumn leaves.

I know.

He was hit in the heart and lost a lot of blood.

Not to mention that Sister Lin was banned by the leader, even if we send Odasaku to a well-equipped emergency room for emergency treatment, the current medical technology alone cannot bring him back from death.

Even though I have watched countless scenes that were more cruel than this happen before my eyes, none of them made me feel more...more...

I want to say to him please don't leave me.

I want to tell him, Odasaku, why are you so stupid.

I want to tell him what I will do without you in the future.

I want to tell him not to die.

But I just quietly watched Oda Sakuya talk to Dazai in a lively manner, watched him take his last puff of cigarette, watched his trembling hand reach out to touch my head, and finally fell powerlessly on the ground .

—and watched him die.

……

I feel sad.

Than being abandoned by Master Bailan, than being ordered by him to destroy the world, than anything before, made the person "Shen Haijing" feel more painful and sad.

I tried to recall the beautiful past to dilute this sadness, but the more beautiful the past, the more painful my heart was.

Master Bailan almost never gives me extra care.

Not so with the Port Mafia.

They will love me, bully me, and protect me. These small and inconspicuous warmths have finally combined into the sharp blades used to hurt me today.

If I knew that I would experience such a sad thing in the future when I met Lord Bai Lan, I would definitely not choose to let "Shen Haijing" be born in this world...

Mr. Sawada, you told me to take a brave step forward.

But why didn't you tell me.

Becoming a human being can be such a painful thing.

……

"Jingjun, where are you... going?"

I heard Dazai asking softly from behind.

"go home."

"Going back to the Port Mafia...?"

Carefully avoiding the frozen parts, Dazai laid the body of Odasaku in his arms flat on the ground, then took two steps toward me, and said dryly,

"The child of the Oda writer was notified by the leader to Mimic's leader. All this was his plan from beginning to end. If you go back now, what kind of punishment will he give you—"

"no,"

I turned around and put my hands on my chest, where it was beating violently and regularly like a human heart, and I was very uncomfortable because of what I just heard, "The port mafia... is not mine anymore home."

At this time, I heard Dazai softly calling the name of "Deep Sea Jing" from behind, "Are you... Jing Jun's second personality?"

"No."

I no longer have the strength to argue to him, I don't have the strength to ask him why he knows about the second personality, and I don't have the strength to bear his doubts anymore.

I just want to go home now.

"So what you're talking about going home, isn't going back to the Port Mafia,"

Dazai walked up to me and stared at me silently.His deep iris-colored eyes reminded me of the dark and turbid bottom of the ocean, and made the human heart throb again.

"You don't want it?"

"Are you going to abandon your identity and leave here?"

"Chuya, big sister, me, these people who have been waiting for you, Shen Haijing, are you all going to give up?"

"I know Dazai that you are good at observing the inner flaws of human beings to attack, but it's still hard to be forced to experience it."

I didn't pamper him like before, but directly pierced Dazai's psychological hint - because I was leaving, there was no need to continue pampering him.

"I like Mr. Chuya very much, and I will be forced to break with him and fight each other."

"I like the leader very much, so he designed to make me lose my friend."

"I like Oda Tsukuru very much, and I can only watch him die helplessly."

"...Jing Jun, listen to me."

Dazai walked over quickly and grabbed my wrist tightly. I could even feel his fingers trembling.

"I know you are sad because of today's events, but you have to understand that after these sad experiences, there will be things that will make you happy tomorrow—"

I looked up at him, and at myself with tears in his eyes, and responded softly,

"I like you too, but you want me to stay and continue to bear all the pain."

"...!"

Dazai shook my hand violently, I gently broke away from his unknowingly loosened fingers, and took a step back.

"I love the Port Mafia too, but you guys keep hurting me."

I backed away slowly, clutching my chest, and felt the heart beating more and more violently, "My heart will feel pain, my body will lose strength, and my emotions will become hopeless."

"Being human is such a painful thing."

"Dazai, you're right. I'm going to repent, I'm going to give up."

"I want to give up the name 'Deep Sea Jing', give up all these human fetters, and give up the home of the port mafia."

That heart was crying and struggling, it was as indomitable as a human being, just like Shen Haijing who couldn't speak, so the heart that could never be spoken was ashamed.

"I thought I could take it on my own, but it turned out I couldn't."

"It is human nature to avoid pain."

"So it's no surprise that 'Deep Sea Kyung' would run away from you who brought him pain."

It seems to have reached a critical point, I close my eyes, I can feel the beating of my heart, and it starts to slow down.

Slower and slower.

It's like the existence of Shen Haijing, who is stepping towards the coast step by step, crossing the abyss, to the depth of [-] miles under the sea where there is no sound and no light.

I looked up at Dazai, and he stared back at me blankly, but didn't reach out to grab me again,

"So, you have to leave too."

Dazai was frozen there like a statue, I almost thought he was about to shatter.He just looked at me without sound or tears, and at the same time with a blank face, but I seemed to hear him crying helplessly and miserably in his heart, "Oda Saku left, and now Kyo-kun is too."

"On the other side of the road to death, what kind of paradise is it that makes you yearn so much?"

Seeing him like this, I thought my heart, which had been numb from the pain, seemed to be cracked again.

I wanted to tell Dazai not to be sad, but I felt that it sounded no different from the few words he said to persuade me.

Sure enough, friends always have something in common... Both of us are guys who can't comfort others.

"Now you guys finally know,"

I looked down and saw that the ends of my hair had begun to shimmer.

Touching his chest, he could hardly feel the beating of his heart.

And the language that can be formed by human civilization, like being erased by an eraser, gradually turned into a blank in my memory.

"Two years ago, my feeling when I saw you committing suicide in the river was, how...how..."

A weapon that understands the human heart is no longer sharp and fearless like moldy rust.

Will not destroy the world, will not protect the world.

Holding the old sad dream that I got at this time, I fell asleep forever, unable to restore the glory of the gods, and there is no possibility of waking up again.

——It doesn’t sound any different from the general meaning of 【Death】.

I looked at Dazai for the last time with some reluctance, and regretted not being able to take another look at Mr. Nakaya at this time.

I originally promised him that he would go back alive.

I'm so sorry I cowardly got away with it all.

"—"

Even though it's farewell, I can no longer speak human language.

Then, "Fukkai-kyo" closed his eyes like an ordinary human being when he died.

Last in memory...

——It is the snow-white feathers that sprinkle the sky.

……

……

……

The author has something to say:

The full text is over, BE ending.

I lied to you.

In fact, it's not very sharp, right?

Although I felt very uncomfortable when I wrote it, looking back, it would be a kind of happiness if Jing left like this. You see, at least Mr. Mori can’t punish him [top pot cover]

[Important] BE is impossible to BE, and it is also impossible to end. 【key】

If it is a knife to be unhappy alone, then everyone will be unhappy together?

There will be another chapter in a while, I'm in a low mood today so it's going to be a long day [Paralyzed

感谢在2020-06-0805:54:07~2020-06-0821:15:09期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: Mori and Deer, 1 piece;

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 6 bottles of orange leaves are white;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!