mr frank is faithful to love

(FR. Zuo Boyao)

I am always like this, never ready to face the unknown, but always encountering the unexpected.

Originally, I got comfort and hope from Zuo Lin's words that day, so I suddenly had some unrealistic expectations. Before I met Frank today, I even guessed what surprise he was going to give me, so I was nervous for a while.

I was looking forward to it in vain, but there were no surprises, but a lot more disappointment. In fact, when I think about it carefully, Shanghai is not a far away place, so I won’t see him for a long time. If I want, I can go to him anytime.

But I'm still sad.

I was so sad that I wanted to cry, but I tried my best to hold back my tears, trying my best not to let Frank see it.

I blamed Zuo Lin a little bit, why did she give me hope? When I cut the steak, my fingers were cold and I was still shaking slightly.

I said: "Winter is here again. The first half of the year passed in such a hurry. Looking back, I don't know what I did. The time passed by like this. Every time it comes to winter, I feel that there is not enough time in a year. I want to pass the time." Go slower."

"It's okay, you don't have to push yourself, this year is not enough, and next year, you are still young, you can do everything in time." Frank said.

He was lowering his head, sitting across from me cutting steak, and I was holding a knife and fork and looking at him.

The air seemed to be still, I took a deep breath quietly, and then met his gaze.

I asked, "Is there anyone chasing you now?"

He shook his head several times and said, "No."

I understood it, so I nodded with my lips pursed, and my mind became a mess. It's hard for me to deny how attractive Frank is to me. If there were no messy experiences and messy people, we probably wouldn't be separated.

But then, I forced myself to think of several sad experiences, the love that he didn't keep, the rejection by him earlier, and Nozawa.

I cut the steak into very small pieces, put down the knife, and sat up straight.

This is how people pursue the ultimate, get the person they want, but demand loyalty from him, and when they get loyalty, demand the passion of eternal life.

Get the passion of eternal life, and look forward to the next life.

When we were together for a few days before, I was not used to holding hands with Frank. When shopping on the street, he kept clasping my hand tightly, and our fingers were tightly intertwined.

He said: "Your hands are soft, unlike other hands."

"How many people have you led, so experienced..."

"No, because I often shake hands with others, I don't feel it anymore, but today I feel it again."

I asked, "How does it feel?"

He replied: "The feeling of getting what you want, and the feeling of liking you."

Finally, the dessert was served, and the meal came to an end. The plate exuded a strong aroma of chocolate. Frank said, "I specially picked the one with chocolate. I know you like it. Their taste is good, but there are too few varieties. Taste it quickly."

I hurriedly took a bite, it tasted good, and said, "It's delicious."

I think I still look like I don't care, but I care so much that I imagined a lot of unrealistic things before I came here.

"There's one more thing I want to ask you." Frank said cautiously.

I nodded and swallowed the cake.

He hesitated for a long time before speaking, and asked cautiously: "Are you and Qi Hao together?"

I raised my head and met Frank's gaze. I really didn't expect him to ask this. I said, "No, we are good friends. I'm not that attractive. Not every man around me will fall in love with me."

After I finished speaking, I realized that this sentence sounded a lot like my sarcasm about Frank.

Zhou Yiyi was waiting for me in the car outside. He still had work to do at night. After dinner, we had to go to the shed.

It took several minutes to get in the car, but Zhou Yiyi didn't speak. She sat in the passenger seat and turned her head to look at me from time to time, no less than ten times.

I don't know what she is thinking about.

The car drove a long way, and finally someone spoke, Zhou Yiyi lowered his voice, and asked without emotion: "You...haven't gotten back together, have you?"

I sighed softly and said, "Of course not, what are you thinking! He is leaving, he is no longer working in Beijing, he is going to work in the Shanghai Design Center, and he will not live in Beijing permanently."

Apparently, Zhou Yiyi was also surprised by the news, and was speechless for a while, but Zhang Dou, who was sitting in the back row, spoke out first. She approached me and asked, "Ah... are you really leaving?"

"It's been decided," I said.

Zhou Yiyi thought for a long time before opening his mouth, and stammered: "Why... so suddenly, so he went to Shanghai and settled there? Will his house in Beijing be sold?"

"I don't know," I said, "Sister, are you very happy now? Finally, you don't have to worry about my old relationship with him rekindling."

"Oops... Zuo Boyao, can you talk well? Did I stop you when you were talking?" Zhou Yiyi took a sip of the water in the thermos and said, "What am I happy about? It has nothing to do with me. "

Zhang Dou could be heard very anxious, she poked my shoulder and asked, "Did he change jobs?"

"No, it's still the same, it's just a different location, there is a shortage of middle and high-level and technical personnel."

"Aren't you coming back?" Zhang Dou continued to ask.

"Maybe, even if you go back to Beijing, it will be a long, long time."

Outside the window is still the night of Beijing, with all kinds of lights flowing, dazzling and prosperous, but what I think is: soon, there will be no one I love in Beijing.

Tonight, at this moment, I can finally admit in my heart that I still love Frank, even if I don't completely let it go, I still love him.Heartbeat and heartache coexist, and I am always anxious to separate them, wanting pure love, or pure hate.

Now I find that love and hate are intertwined in real relationships.

At that time, I had only been with Frank for a few days, and I was not used to holding hands with Frank. When shopping on the street, he kept clasping my hand tightly, and our fingers were tightly intertwined.

I said, "My hands are really not soft. My fingers are full of calluses. I got them from playing the guitar. It's not going to get better."

But Frank gently pinched my joints and said, "Bones are very flexible, so they are soft to the touch. Only people who play the piano can practice like this."

Most of the time, Frank's black hair is scrupulously combed and looks great with shirts, suits, coats, and a casual jacket.

I was about to be drowned in love at that time, so I thought everything about him was the best.

Every moment I want to hug him, want to be held tightly in his arms, want to smell his perfume and kiss, want to put my hand in his, want to listen to nasty words, want to go to bed, want to die in bed.

But for me now, I need to hold my breath just to meet his eyes.