lure brother deep

——No one can accompany you unconditionally forever, you know, even the shadow will be absent when it rains.

Before Yan An was seven years old, the sky was a low-key blue, so drowsy that he couldn't even find a single white cloud.

As long as he can remember, Yan An lived in the same village with his grandparents. A small village and a few small mud-and-tiled houses were all in his eyes.

When Yan An was able to pick up a porcelain bowl to eat rice by himself, his grandfather liked to stay in bed more than him, and he stopped yelling "beautiful grandson" one by one, and just lay on the bed every day. He didn't know what to say on the kang, and grandma would sit on the bed and scold him while feeding him spoonfuls of boiled rice paste.

When she was a child, Yan An was a little afraid of this serious grandma who always wrinkled her bark face. Well, when she rolled up her sleeves, she scolded Grandma Li in the village because someone's chicken went to someone's nest to lay eggs When, he...was a little scared.

As a smart child, Yan An felt his grandma's dislike for him very early on.Many adults in the village like to kiss and hug him, and some uncles are particularly keen to play the game of "throwing high" with him, and even rub his white and tender face with the green and black stubble all over his face.

Except... grandma, that crooked old woman who always subconsciously tightened the cane-like wrinkles on her sallow face when facing him.Grandma won't let him stay in the house most of the time except for eating and sleeping.Yan An would take a book with pinyin, pick up a dilapidated ponytail, and run to the plane tree outside the courtyard. After reading the book, he would look at the distant fields and stay quietly all day.

At this time, his grandmother came out and called him to eat, and would complain that he was different from other children in the village.

But...what's the difference?This day, Yan An began to follow behind and observe those boys and girls who were about his age.They went into the water to touch fish, climbed trees to dig out bird nests.Until they went to the back mountain outside the village regardless of the adults' instructions and threats.

"Xiao'an, I didn't say that, but he looks like the fool Wang Er in Dawangzhuang next door! He doesn't know how to play with the little tiger Qiulian in the village every day, he just knows how to sit under the tree and watch! Why? There are still hidden under the tree The gold is gone! Boss, take a look, is there something wrong with this kid!"

"Oh, Mom! What are you talking about! We don't know that Xiao An was born to me and Xiao Shu? There must be nothing wrong with our son! And if he loves reading so much, it means that Xiao An is precocious!"

"Yeah! Mom, it's not that serious, maybe, Xiao An... just doesn't fit in well..."

Yan An just stood in the yard silently listening to the conversation coming from the house.Listening to his parents justify his IQ.

"..." Yan An felt that compared with him, those children in the village were more like idiots, who secretly ran to play while knowing that there were snakes in the back mountain.

With keen ears, he could hear the grandma's cough clearing her throat in the room, Yan An thought, at this moment his grandma must be trying to straighten her arched back, and then she spoke in a hoarse voice.

In Yan An's impression, the couple who gave birth to him were always very busy, so busy that they could only visit him at certain times of the year. His son is also like a routine.

Every time they come back, they bring big and small bags of snacks and all kinds of toys to fill up the empty house again.Then she looked at him with a kind of loving eyes mixed with guilt, and greeted him with care.The same question and answer:

"Xiao An, I haven't seen you in half a year, do you miss your parents very much?"

"Um."

"Xiao An, your father forgot to go on a business trip for your birthday this year, so this time I will supply you with a newest remote control plane, okay?"

"Um."

"Xiao An, has it snowed a lot this year? Mom bought you a warm and beautiful padded jacket. Wearing it out will definitely make the children in the village envy you!"

"Um."

Yan An never touched the toys his parents bought, and he only read the few books buried in Toy Story all day long.But he didn't expect to make his parents misunderstand, teach him puzzles hand in hand, and show him how to operate remote control cars, planes and tanks.However, Yan An likes to go his own way, and he thinks reading books is far more interesting than these toys.Then, he saw that his father would pick a noon every time, gather the children in the village in the small yard of his house, and deliver some of the toys he didn't play to the hands of the ecstatic children one by one Li, and then asked them to often play with him.Well, at this time, Xiaohu, the head of the children, will stand up, pat his chest, show two rows of yellow teeth, and say, "Don't worry, uncle! We will do it!"

Well, Yan An thought, it just so happened that his room would be free again.Every time the children in the village saw his parents coming, they were closer than seeing their own parents.That day he didn't go anywhere, just squatted outside the wall of his yard.And every time his father called them all over, it was as if they had received a signal that...it was time to come to his house and move the pile of toys.They happily carried them out and emptied them, while "they" bought them back guiltily and piled them up again, and the cycle went on and on.

Yan An can't sleep well for one-sixty-seventh of the year.At that time, his grandma seemed to have been pushed into an emotional outburst. She picked up a big broom and swept the yard vigorously, while cursing at the yard next door through a jujube tree with a crooked neck.Not only their family, but also the other two families close to Aunt Yu's house are always in black and white.In those days, everyone would knock on the gate of Aunt Yu's yard over and over again.Then, Yan An, who was with grandma, would see Aunt Yu, who had been beaten all over her body, come out with her red eyes swollen from crying, and apologized to the villagers and complained to them.Next, those adults, including his grandmother, would sympathize with Aunt Yu's experience. During this period, Yan An only remembered a few words such as "fate is bitter", "heavenly murdered" and "not a good death".

Can't... so dead?What kind of death is a good death?Yan An stood there blankly thinking.

When Yan An was six years old, her grandma closed her eyes forever.In my impression, it was a winter covered with snow like goose feathers, which lasted for many days, and his grandma suddenly couldn't walk. She leaned against the door with a walking stick all day long, not knowing where she was looking or who she was looking forward to.Later, she coughed badly, so she didn't step over the threshold of the yard again. Her head was next to Grandpa's, and she chattered from dawn to dusk.

At that time, many people suddenly came to the yard, including his parents, two uncles and aunts, and people from the village. Yan An vaguely thought, this is probably the busiest time in his house, right?

Sitting in the corner, he seemed to hear those grown-ups discussing things like "I can't take it anymore" and "I'm leaving".Yan An is ignorant, where is grandma going?

Later, two days?three days?Or two and a half days?Yan An couldn't remember clearly, but she only remembered that grandma's cloudy eyes suddenly became brighter for a while, and she searched back and forth among the crowd around her, with her shriveled mouth opened, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end she didn't utter a word. Come on, the light in the pupils became weaker and dimmed little by little.

Grandpa, who couldn't move inside, also seemed to have a sense of something at this time, and suddenly cried loudly.

The father and mother kneeling in front of grandma's bed wet their eyes, knocked their heads on the floor and began to cry. At the same time, everyone in the room began to cry.

Yan An was taken from the village to the town by his parents. They discussed and contacted him with a boarding primary school in the town.Yan An was in the first grade at school. Although he was half a school year shorter than other children, he got No.1 in the midterm exam, which was also a double percentile that shocked everyone.Only his head teacher was a little worried, because Yan An didn't play with any children in the class, and even in physical education class, he just sat in the corner of the playground by himself.

Most of those kids didn't like him, Yan An...knew it all along, even when he was in the village.When playing Jiajia, other people played a family, but the only suitable role for him was the dining table serving meals.When playing hide-and-seek, no one would look for him. He always came out from behind the rocks at sunset, and when he passed by their house, he heard the sound of their playing inside.

Yan An likes the school very much, the small library in the school, and the... puppy in the grass behind the library.

It was a thin, black and spotted puppy that Yan An met when he came out from the back door of the library.The puppy was skinny and skinny, its hind leg was pierced by a large piece of glass, bleeding continuously, lying on the ground and howling pitifully.Yan An bought bandages and wound medicine, picked up the puppy and bandaged it with medicine. The puppy was still vigilant, but it whined and refused to let Yan An touch it. It roiled in Yan An's arms for a long time. Pressing the puppy's wound that was still bleeding, the puppy... was quiet.

Later, Yan An would always go to the library, always come out through the back door of the library, and then take out a few meat buns from his school bag and feed them to the puppy.Yan An named it "Mo Mo".Every time he shouted "Mo Mo, Mo Mo!" Mo Mo would run out from the large grass behind with a "shua", wagging his tail and circling around him.Yan An felt that Mo Mo probably liked him too.

Momo accompanied Yan An for two months.When Yan An called it once, it didn't appear. "Mo Mo? Mo Mo! Mo Mo..." Yan An shouted hoarse that afternoon, and there was no sign of Mo Mo running over happily.One day...three days...half a month, Mo Mo completely disappeared.

It's almost summer vacation, Yan An took the phone number given to him by the teacher in charge, thinking about what his parents said to him just now.They said that they were going to take a vacation after the summer vacation, and they said that they would take him abroad to see the blazing flowers and learn Waiguo language with Waiguoren.They said they had a few more days to finish a very important case they had.

But... Yan An wanted to ask, where did they go after he waited for so long?

At that time, the last memory was only the same scene that happened half a year ago, and there was the sound of crying that seemed familiar to my ears.

Yan An has always known that no one will always be by his side, as if everything he owned will eventually be taken away by heaven.In the end, he was left standing alone between the heaven and the earth.

In the end, Chu Qing's palm with a few candies appeared in Yan An's vision. Chu Qing's smile looked clean and warm.

"elder brother…"