mud buddha

"I almost thought—" Nibel swallowed the rest of the words.

"Why? Think I can't wake up?"

"Don't talk nonsense."

"What if I can't wake up?"

"Then I'll wait for you until you wake up." Nibel's tears finally stopped. At this time, the circles of his eyes were red, and the usually sparkling eyes were full of broken lights, like flames under the waves.

Benoit laughed straight after hearing this, but because of his illness, his smile was weak: "Why did you wait for me?"

The room was very quiet, with the smell of vinegar and medicine.Nibel's face was blushing with excitement, but Benoit's face was pale, as clean as a piece of white paper, only bright eyebrows were the only bright color on his face, and he was slightly frowning at this moment.Before Nibel could answer, he asked again:

"Why are you waiting for me? What are you waiting for me to wake up?"

Nibel hesitated to speak, opened his mouth and closed it again, only staring at Benoit.

"Why don't you speak?" Benoit's voice became lower and hoarse, swirling on the ground like a fallen leaf.He cupped Nibel's face and looked him straight in the eye.Nibel recalled the beating of Benoit's heart at the birthday party, and stretched out his hand to hold Benoit's hand on his face.

"Don't you know?" Niebel slowly approached Benoit's face, his voice was as low as a whisper: "Why should I wait, don't you know?"

As he approached, Benoit lowered his eyes, thin blue blood vessels revealed from his pale eyelids: "What should I know? If you don't tell me, how would I know?"

The sun shines in from the window, there is no cloud in the sky, and the whole sky is gray and white.The sun is like a blurry dot, and the periphery is like a blurred paint.The servants downstairs were busy cooking and making medicine. Charlie was sitting by the fire, flashing a cardboard box he picked up by his face.Look carefully at his face is a little round, because there is no work to do recently.

If you look out of the window, you can see the gardener squatting on the ground in the backyard, trimming the flowerbed with large shears.His apprentice squatted beside him, carrying a towel, water bottle and small scissors.For the past ten days, it seems to be like this every day.Benoit's illness only disturbed the servants on the first day, but after all they had gotten used to the master's frailty and sickness, and soon returned to normal life.

Only Nibel, who has been in a mess for more than ten days, looks haggard as if he has worked as a coolie for more than ten days.

Benoit felt the temperature from the back of his hand, and both of them remained motionless, almost like two stone statues.

"Why should I wait for you..." Nibel finally said, "Because I love you."

After saying this, he breathed a sigh of relief, as if he had been carrying a big burden, and now he finally landed.

Hearing this, Benoit raised his eyes to Nibel.His face was like the sky outside, the melancholy clouds were blown away by the wind, leaving only the sun shining wantonly.

Nibel didn't wait for him to continue, and kissed Benoit eagerly, as if he was afraid that he would say a word he didn't like, as if he could swallow the words he wanted to hear in this way.

His kiss was urgent, like a sudden rainstorm at night, plunged violently into the ground.Benoit's head was arched by him, and he leaned back slightly.Nibel closed his eyes, but Benoit did not.He lowered his eyes and could see Nibel's cheekbones and temple hair, as well as the fine down on his face.

Benoit silently cooperated with Nibel's movements and waited patiently.By this time his hand had been put down, and his arm was on Nibel's shoulder.Nibel put his hands on his waist, trembling and afraid to use force.

Kissing and kissing, Nibel licked some cool water drops, and the salty taste fell on the tip of his tongue.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"I don't know." Benoit smiled slightly, tilting his head to look at him: "Maybe because I love you too."

After the kiss, Benoit's lips were like pink roses, revealing the white and small teeth inside.He stared at Nibel, his yellow eyes were clear and bright.Nibel's eyes were wide open as if in a dream.

Ignoring Nibel's daze, Benoit gathered the arms on Nibel's shoulders, wrapped them around his neck, and pulled him down on the bed.

The light in the room was very soft. Nibel propped his hands on the soft quilt and looked at Benoit below him. Benoit fell on the pillow. Although his face was pale, he made Nibel think of gorgeous roses out of nowhere.Benoit held Nibel's head in both hands and pressed his lips.

Neither of them went any further, but quietly pressed against each other's dry lips.Nibel felt that his soul was pulled out along the place where the two were tightly attached, and then all flowed into Benoit's lips.

After a while, Benoit frowned and said, "Your beard is really prickly."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to shave now." He was about to get up, but was pulled back by Benoit.

"Why didn't you say it earlier, it made me think wildly and frightened."

"I……"

"I knew I would have asked earlier. But I fell ill as soon as I came back that day. The illness came like a mountain, and I didn't have time."

"Why did you suddenly become seriously ill?"

"I don't know, it happens when I'm overly sad. My puppy died and I was ill for a whole month." Benoit was afraid that Nibel would be tired if he kept supporting himself, so he moved to the side and motioned for Nibel Lie down next to him.

"Mrs. Mir's child is not mine. If it is mine, I will be responsible and will not escape."

"That's not the point, Nibel." Benoit turned sideways to face Nibel, and said slowly: "The point is that I don't know whether you love me or not."

"I love you." As long as there is one confession, there will be countless times. After opening the mouth, love is like a flood, and it can be easily poured out of the mouth.

"You didn't say it, how do I know? You ignored me in the carriage, I thought I said something wrong. I wanted to find an excuse to apologize to you, but you didn't even look at me." He was talking , the eye circles turned red, and repeated again: "If you don't tell me, how would I know? Why didn't you tell me?"

Nibel sighed: "Don't cry. I won't say it because I'm afraid you don't want to hear it."

"Don't be so self-righteous."

"I don't know if you can tell what love is. You used to say that I was your friend and that I was a gentleman. But I never thought about it that way. I have always been a villain with bad intentions. I am afraid that you will I'm just grateful, and your comfort in loneliness. I'm afraid you think of me as a friend."

"I wouldn't kiss a friend!"

"We had a fight about kissing the day before, and you came to kiss me the next day. I thought it was just a way for you to keep friends."

"That doesn't necessarily mean you avoided it. After so many times, you didn't refuse. I think you still enjoy it very much."

"I said that I am not a good person. At that time, I thought about coaxing you like this, and one day counts as one day."

"Are you taking me for a child?"

Nibel thought about it seriously: "No, I didn't treat you like a child."

"So you admit that you are lying to me?" Benoit glared at him fiercely, reaching out to pinch his face.

"I didn't do it on purpose." Nibel didn't hide, lying on the bed and smiling.

"So it's your fault that I'm sick."

"Yes, yes, it's all my fault." Nibel reached out and grabbed Benoit's wrist.

"What's on your hand?"

What Benoit asked was the prayer beads in Nibel's hand.These beads are very beautiful, each string has a uniform and delicate luster.

"It's my debt." He sighed and turned his wrist.There is also a bunch of tassels on the beads, which are tied by a small piece of jade.

As soon as the words fell, Benoit snatched the string of beads and put them on his hand: "Now it's mine."

As if he was afraid that Nibel would snatch it, Benoit added: "This looks much better on my hand."

"It's really pretty," Nibel nodded, "but..."

"Okay, don't talk about it. If I say it's mine, it's mine. Hurry up and shave!" After finishing speaking, he paused again: "Should I shave too?"

"No, I shaved it for you every day when I washed my face."

Benoit waved his hand and wrapped himself in the quilt: "Okay, go quickly."

When Nibel came out, Benoit was lying down and reading the letter that Nibel had left beside the bed, weeping and convulsing.

"What are you looking at?" Nibel walked over and pinched Benoit's nose: "It's not good for your eyes to lie down and watch."

"It's so pitiful." Benoit shook the letter paper: "She's so pitiful. Thanks to me, thanks to me—"

"It's really not easy for her." Nibel patted Benoit's head, and Benoit shrank in, letting Nibel lie down.

"Then what are you going to do? Damn Bastian, you must give him a serious lesson."

"Yes, he is not a good person." The sudden relaxation made the tiredness of more than ten days come to his head, and Nibel had never been so sleepy: "We will teach him a lesson. I have to earn money first, and I have to pay back the money." Lots and lots of debt."

"Don't I have all the money I earn? I have a lot." Benoit muttered again: "You are not a good person."

When he saw Nibelhe closed his eyes and his breathing calmed down, he sighed, put down the letter paper, and lay back.He felt so pitiful for himself, knowing that Nibel was not a good person, but still liked him so much.

But he was so kind to himself.Benoit turned around, looked at Nibel's side face, and stretched out his hand to poke and pinch gently.If you are so kind to yourself, it is not impossible to forcefully trust him.

He put his arms around Nibel and fell asleep too.In the dream, Nibel told him that he didn't love him, and then the surroundings suddenly caught fire, and Nibel protected him, but this time the two of them failed to escape, but were buried in the flames together.

After waking up from the dream, he opened his eyes and looked at Nibel in his arms.Nibel closed his eyes and remained motionless. Benoit became frightened for some reason and shook Nibel awake.

"What's the matter?" Nibel asked him, not at all angry at being woken up.

"Turn around and sleep facing me." Benoit fiddled with Nibel's hands, letting him wrap his arms around his waist: "Hold me like this."

Nibel followed suit, turned around and hugged him, and soon fell asleep again.