mud buddha

"water……"

There was a taste of medicine in Nibel's mouth, bitter and astringent.Benoit had already prepared water and brought it to his mouth.

"Where am I?" The two mouthfuls of water barely moistened his throat, he could hardly make a sound, he could only see his mouth opening and closing.

Benoit watched him open his eyes, his eyes rolled around blankly, and helped him up to feed him water.

"You..." He closed his mouth after finishing speaking.Nibel took the glass and drank it in a sip, also very quietly.

After a while, he put the cup down: "There is something wrong with my eyes, isn't it?"

His tone was calm, but the cup in his hand was not placed on the bedside table as he expected, but fell to the ground with a "clang" sound, and then shattered.His hands froze in the air and slowly retracted.

Benoit wanted to grab his hand again, and wanted to pick up the fragments of the cup, and finally squatted down, picking up the fragments on the ground one by one.He was restless and accidentally cut his finger.

The glass collided in the room, a bit like the sound of women's bracelets colliding.Nibel leaned on the bed and asked where Benoit was now.

"This is our family's castle in Psyche. You are injured during this period, so you can live here. I will take care of you, or you... It will be inconvenient." Benoit organized his words carefully. "Mrs. Robinson takes care of the business in the city. It's a pity I'm not very proficient in these things, otherwise I could be of help to you."

The person on the bed remained silent.

Nibel really didn't know what to say.There was darkness in front of his eyes, and for some reason, even listening to the voice with him was foggy.There was a faint pain in his neck, he touched it lightly, and touched a piece of gauze the size of a palm.Under the extreme silence, his senses were amplified, and he could hear the blood rushing in his neck, and the sound of his pulse.

He heard Benoit's voice, and wanted to tell him not to be so cautious, he was not so fragile.

It was true, he really didn't feel anything.When he just woke up, he found that there was no light source in front of him. He looked around in several directions, and found that in front of him was a black cloth with no holes, no fluctuations anywhere, swallowing all the light that could come in.

Even in the depth of the night, no matter how tightly the curtains are drawn, there will always be a glimmer of light, giving objects a shadowy shape rather than total darkness.Nibel knew that something was wrong with his eyes, and he became more certain after asking.

He didn't cry very much when he was born, and he didn't like to laugh much after that.His father said he was a monster, and the servants talked about him secretly.

At the beginning of school, the classmates told ghost stories together, but he was indifferent; the nanny told him touching stories, and he burst into tears, but he fell asleep early; the senior classmates broke his things and smashed them with stones. His head, he doesn't react much, never gets angry.Everyone complained about the old-fashioned teacher, but he thought it was okay; the kind and friendly priest was kidnapped and brutally hurt in public, and he just stood by and watched.

The headmaster's wife doesn't like him, she thinks he has no human emotions, whether it's love or hate, and says he's a piece of wood, or the kind that's hollow.

Soon after realizing his eccentricity, he began imitating those around him in an attempt to blend in.

Someone told a bad joke, and he laughed with everyone; someone made a touching statement, and he jumped up and shouted with it.Soon he became very comfortable with imitation, able to accurately identify whether a joke should be laughed or not, whether it is a laugh or a belly laugh.He cried when he should cry, mocked when he should mock, and clapped when he should applaud, more normal than a normal person.

He squeezed a shell for himself, manipulated it like a puppet, and shrank himself inside.

Why he went to rescue Benoit that day, he couldn't explain it either.He wasn't sure if it was some kind of love in his heart, but when he saw this person, he always thought of the Bodhisattva when he saw Youshen when he was a child.Benoit is generous and kind, benevolent and upright, born with abundant emotions, completely different from himself.He knew that if compared with Benoit, he would be like a shadow on the ground, empty and indifferent.

If he wanted to make a shadow, he wanted to be the shadow of a deity.That was one of his few longings.That day at Xiayun Villa, he walked into the fire with a somewhat pious attitude.

He thought he might die.There was a little sweat on Benoit's face, and he was covered with a quilt, which somewhat overlapped with the statue in his memory.He embraces Benoit as a real shadow embraces a gilded bodhisattva.A voice clamored in his heart: he wanted to enshrine the idol, and he also wanted to own him.

Upstairs, he held Benoit's chin and looked at his beautiful eyebrows in the dim light.At that time, Benoit had no expression, more like a sculpture.Downstairs, he kissed him, with a mortal mentality, eager to leave some traces of himself on him.

Only then did he realize that he was a little bit unwilling to be separated and die.Just like Benoit nodded his head, and a look of pity could ignite his heart, that kiss seemed to bring him endless power.All his emotions came from the person in front of him, as if a seed had been planted in his body at the first sight.He couldn't tell what it felt like, maybe it was like a wandering spirit suddenly met a body that fit.

Niebel attributes it all to fate.He couldn't tell if it was love or not, but he was obviously caught up in a kind of fanatical worship of Benoit.He already felt honored to be able to survive this time, not to mention that the current Benoit treats him so considerately and docilely.

He didn't come back to his senses until he heard the sound of Benoit going downstairs.The quilt under his hands was soft and embroidered with soft lace patterns, Nibel lay down again.

He rubbed the pattern under his hands, and heard Benoit come up again: "Since you're awake, let's eat something."

"Okay." With a terribly hoarse voice, he sat up again, stretched out his hand to catch the bowl, and felt his side sink a little.

"It's not convenient for you now, let me feed you." Nibel could hear the sound of the spoon hitting the rim of the bowl. "I haven't eaten for several days, you should eat some porridge first, it will be better for digestion."

The entrance is white porridge, which has no taste, only a little sweetness of rice.Benoit said while feeding: "Your eyes may be caused by the smoke from the fire, or poisoning or something. Dr. Mill is not sure whether he can be cured. We have invited doctors from other counties to come, and we will definitely find a way." of."

Nibel smiled, as if not being able to see did not affect his mood.He swallowed the porridge in small bites, and asked Benoit for some side dishes.

"It's tasteless." His words were concise and clear.

"You just woke up, and your throat is still uncomfortable. I'll bring some pear juice up after you finish drinking, or your throat won't be able to bear it."

Now that Nibel can't see anything, he actually feels a little free, and he has lost his former fake shell, which is unimaginable for him who is healthy.He no longer felt that he was the perfect gentleman, but that he was the unreasonable weird kid.

"It's okay, it's already like this anyway, so what's the matter with the throat? Maybe it's a broken can." He amused himself, but Benoit stopped moving his hands, his eyes were a little dim, as if Nibel's words were like knives It pierced into his heart as well.

Nibel couldn't see it, and if he had, he would have sworn he wasn't being ironic.

Both of them stopped talking, Benoit fed the remaining porridge and went downstairs, leaving Nibel sitting there.He held it himself when he drank the pear juice afterwards—he insisted that Benoit not feed him again, because it felt terribly awkward.

Benoit had nothing to do, so he sat on the sidelines and told him what happened in the city after that day, about this lady and that gentleman, and that he had already found a certain doctor for him, and that doctor would be here soon. , and then began to babble about the doctor's deeds.

Nibel listened patiently. He heard Benoit change his sitting position from time to time, and the slippers on his feet rubbed against the floor, making a creaking sound.

"Did you receive the gift I gave you?"

The gifts of all the guests at the birthday banquet that day were sent to Benoit's room, which was burned to pieces after the fire.

"Received," Benoit recalled the rescued crutch, dumbfounded: "Thanks to the layer of gold on the outside, it survived the fire. But why would you think of giving me a crutch? That crutch To be honest, the shape is a bit special."

"Crutches?" Nibel raised his eyebrows, "What I gave was obviously a parasol."

There was indeed something like a small bracket attached to the lower half of the crutch, but he didn't have time to look closely and didn't pay attention.

"But it would be nice if it could be used as a crutch, maybe it's suitable for me now." Nibel finished drinking the pear juice and handed the cup to Benoit. "Oh, I have no intention of coming back. Really."