I fell in love with the author after being bent by Danmeiwen

"Here we are." The taxi driver kindly reminded.

"Okay, thank you." Ling Geng got down from the trunk of the car with the suitcase. After the long stream of cars drove away, he looked at the house in front of him, thought for a while, and then dragged the suitcase and walked towards the gate. go.

When Shao Huaizhi brought him here last time, the two of them went in and out several times, so that even Ling Geng got acquainted with the security guards, so now it is easy to go in the gate again, but it takes only 10 minutes to arrive at Shao Huaizhi's residence floors.

Ling Geng paused at the door for a while, then rang the doorbell.

Soon the door was opened, and the accompanying voice was slightly surprised, "Ling, why are you..."

The voice stopped abruptly, and Shao Huaizhi was embraced by Ling Geng.

"Senior..." Ling Geng breathed in Shao Huaizhi's breath with unsatisfactory expression.It's only been less than a day, and he seems to be poisoned, so he can't wait.

"Ling." Shao Huaizhi hugged Ling Geng back, with a rare expression on his face, "Didn't you say you're going home today? It's already 19:[-], so you're not going back?"

Shao Huaizhi glanced behind Ling Geng, and the suitcase behind him was eye-catching.

"I won't go back, I miss you, I'll stay at your house during the National Day holiday." Ling Geng hugged Shao Huaizhi and didn't let go.

Although Shao Huaizhi was very happy to hear Ling Geng say that, the child's mood didn't sound normal. Shao Huaizhi gently stroked Ling Geng's head and asked tentatively, "What happened? Why did you suddenly change your mind?" ?”

"I..." Ling Geng buried his head on Shao Huaizhi's shoulder, his voice trembling, he suddenly thought of what Yu Zhan said yesterday, those stories about Shao Huaizhi made him feel sad even thinking about it now.

And emotions deeper than sadness... Ling Geng let out a long breath, left Shao Huaizhi's embrace, and said, "Senior, let's go in first, and I'll tell you later."

"Okay." Shao Huaizhi agreed.

"Can we talk now?" Shao Huaizhi put Ling Geng's suitcase in the bedroom, took a look at Ling Geng when he came out, and sat on the sofa with Ling Geng.

"Hmm..." Ling Geng lowered his gaze for a while and then returned to his original state, "Mr. Yu, he told me about your undergraduate experiment and some of your experiences yesterday. I... I'm here today. I want to ask you about those experiences..."

Shao Huaizhi interrupted him, his tone was not very calm, he said, "I told you everything?"

"I should have told me everything, anyway, I know about those three patients in the pan now." Ling Geng looked at Shao Huaizhi with a erratic gaze.The Shao Huaizhi now was really different from what he had seen before, like a prelude to getting out of control, but he endured it and only let Ling Geng spy a small part.

Shao Huaizhi frowned, "Why did he tell you this?"

Shao Huaizhi himself was not ready to face what happened back then, but now that Ling Geng said it, the boulder was stuck in his heart, he couldn't get up or down, and the heart-wrenching pain seemed to spread again, so he could only do it without a trace. He clenched the hand beside him.

"Probably, you want to use your experience to persuade me to take the postgraduate entrance examination. He also said that you may have given up the postgraduate entrance examination because you were completely disappointed with the path of research. He said that you don't want me to follow your path. I... don't know how to choose , I am also very confused." Ling Geng said a little melancholy, and looked directly at Shao Huaizhi, with a hint of dependence and inquiry.

Shao Huaizhi's clenched hands slowly loosened in those eyes, and he sighed softly, "I'm not as good as he said, I... back then...not just quit because of disappointment."

Shao Huaizhi's eyes were a bit sad, and even Ling Geng felt the tip of his nose sore. At that moment, Ling Geng suddenly felt that Shao Huaizhi was very pitiful, and his heart was filled with distressed emotions. Ling Geng moved towards Shao Huaizhi's direction, He hugged Shao Huaizhi and said, "If the senior doesn't want to say something, I don't have to ask."

Like how Shao Huaizhi comforted himself countless times, Ling Geng caressed the back of Shao Huaizhi's neck lightly, and rubbed Shao Huaizhi's side face affectionately, fawning on him like a cat.

Under Ling Geng's embrace, Shao Huaizhi's gaze was naturally lowered a little, and the distant street scene seemed to be reflected in front of his eyes, and he seemed to have returned to many years ago in an instant.Shao Huaizhi hugged Ling Geng's waist and said in a muffled voice, "It's okay, I will tell you sooner or later."

"It's just that this story may not be as good as you imagined. After listening to it later, don't feel sad."

Shao Huaizhi's voice was uncommonly trembling, the past had been sealed for many years, unfolding one by one in this silent night, and Ling Geng, as the only listener of this story, only saw a bleak snow scene at the end of winter, with dead trees rotting away, unbearable. Every spring.

The beginning of the story is similar to what Yu Zhan said, but in fact, neither Yu Zhan nor Li Tongze knew at that time that Shao Huaizhi, besides inquiring about the conditions of the three patients, was also paying attention to the three patients while doing the experiment. illness.

Before Shao Huaizhi gave up the postgraduate entrance examination, he had always dreamed that one day he would dedicate his life to research like Li Tongze. If it weren't for the appearance of those three patients, he would have no idea how cruel the road of research is.

The failure of the animal experiment caused Shao Huaizhi, who was originally full of confidence, to suffer the first blow.After the animal experiment, he went to the ward where the three patients were in silently. As a bystander, the three patients were eroded by the pain, and the pain made him suffer all the time.

There are still many patients in this world who have no cure because of epiphany, but as a researcher, Shao Huaizhi has nothing to do.

He wondered more than once, besides the current research topic, is there any other way to save the lives of those three people?But during that time, he searched all the literature and related materials, but found nothing. In the end, he didn't even dare to go to the laboratory, and he was depressed for a long time.

Later, the reappearance of those three patients ignited Shao Huaizhi's fighting spirit. Others may not understand it, but he has seen the pain of the patients with his own eyes, and he deeply knows that even if it is poison, the patients want to try it. Their research topics at least have chemically effective support, and he does not think that putting them into clinical practice will bring absolute negative effects.

But his persistence finally failed.

Shao Huaizhi admitted that Li Tongze's negation made him have great doubts about the purpose of the research, and he was very anxious that he could not save people or solve the existing crisis.

He once escaped from the laboratory and stagnated on the road of research, even on the verge of giving up, but it was those three patients who finally prompted him to give up completely.

At that time, he was standing at the door of the ward.

Those three patients were still very young, but they spent all their savings due to the torture of the disease, and the family was heavily in debt. When they were dying in the hospital bed, they were accompanied by the faint crying of their family members beside the hospital bed.

They had no money, and at the last moment of their lives, they couldn't even afford to stay in the ICU, so they were transferred to the general ward.

Because of Li Tongze's status as a student, Shao Huaizhi borrowed a doctor's white coat and stood at the door.He originally wanted to see the conditions of these three patients, which has almost become his main thing during this time.

But I didn't expect to see them for the last time.

The sick people are not in a good condition, and the beds are covered with thick quilts, but they still feel cold, and they murmur over and over again, painful, weak groans/groans, but their voices cannot even cover the crying of their family members .

Shao Huaizhi saw with his own eyes that the complexions of the three people were getting worse and worse, and he swallowed his last breath in the ward.

He was pushed aside, and the doctors and nurses beside him rushed in. The buzzing sound of the ECG monitor sounded after the continuous rescue, and there was no way to recover.

The hospital bed was covered with a white cloth.

Three beds, white cloth on three sides.

As white as snow, in Shao Huaizhi's eyes, it left a mark on his heart.

He just stood at the door of the ward in a daze, until the doctors and nurses who rescued him were ready to go out, pushing the hospital bed past him.

Perhaps the family members were in too bad a mood. At the moment when Bai Bu passed Shao Huaizhi completely, a family member knelt down in front of him.

"Doctor, doctor, I beg you to save him. He can still be saved, right? I beg you!" The family member grabbed the lower end of Shao Huaizhi's white coat, knelt down in front of him, and burst into tears.

There was a moment of noise in the ward. Shao Huaizhi felt that even the smell of disinfectant in the ward was so strong and scary at that moment. The hideous expressions of the three patients before death began to appear before his eyes again. His footsteps seemed to be heavy, so that When he fled the ward, his figure was staggering.

Escaping from the three-sided white cloth also seemed to be escaping from his own future life.

"At that time, I couldn't even sleep peacefully. Before I fell asleep, I would always think of those three people before they died." Shao Huaizhi leaned on Ling Geng's shoulder, his voice trembling, "I never knew that death It is so unacceptable, witnessing death with your own eyes, as if you have died with them."

"I dare not go to Yu Zhan and the others, nor do I dare to go to the laboratory. Once I think of the laboratory, I can recall the scene when I first met those three people... If I didn't see the latest research and treatment plan appearing in international reports , I might not even be able to walk through the door of the laboratory."

"Ling, do you know? If at that time, I could stick to my own ideas, if I could persuade the teacher to push the research topic at that time to clinical practice, then the three people might not die."

Shao Huaizhi hugged Ling Geng very tightly, he was sobbing slightly, even Ling Geng's comfort was in vain.

The shadow of that time has been with him for too many years.

"I still want to achieve the position of a teacher, but from another perspective, if I continue to study, one day, I will become a decision maker like a teacher. What if... the person who makes the decision in the future is me? If it is my decision Cut off the patient's hope of life, so what will happen to me?"

"Life is as light as a feather, and death is so easy. If I am the decision maker, deciding whether to live or die, how should I face death? It doesn't matter if I have no courage or cowardly, Ling, my Time... I really don't have the qualifications to continue my research, I can't do it..."

Drops of warm tears flowed on Ling Geng's shoulders, and the heat dripped down the shoulders, conveying Shao Huaizhi's rare fragility to Ling Geng. But the heart has already been squeezed tightly, like a knife cut.

The author has something to say: To be honest, this paragraph should not be cruel, right?Not cruel?Anyway, it's all over, just for a short while, next Zhang Xiaoling should take practical actions to comfort the senior...