Top C-bit love [entertainment circle]

I can't deserve it in my life"...

The more you turn back, the more desperate the content of the diary——

"Everyone loves him, and I'm one of them."

"He said it was hard for him to like real people, and I thought it was terrible, but I was kind of chuckling."

"A lot of people chased him, but none of them succeeded. They were so miserable, but I couldn't even say it. I seemed to be even more miserable."

"I feel like I'm not quite normal, and I'm disappointed in myself."

"I have a secret, and I'm afraid to scare him."

"I really want to become the character he likes."

"He will never know the secret for the rest of his life."

Chi Xingyan was so surprised that he couldn't speak. These contents are outrageous enough. What's even more outrageous is that he found that the handwriting of the notes has been gradually evolving. At the beginning, it was still sharp and chaotic, and the later it became softer. Neat and neat, it finally became Song Siwei's customary regular script, one stroke and one stroke is enough to distinguish the real from the fake.

How much forbearance and deep love is it that can practice handwriting exactly like Song Siwei...

Chi Xingyan's mind suddenly flashed, and he remembered the photo in Song Siwei's wallet. Could it be that the phrase "for you thousands of times" behind it was written by Lu Zhao to Song Siwei?

And he completely reversed it based on his conjectures?

Distraught, he put all his things back into the safe, a little afraid to look at Song Siwei sitting next to him, how should he apologize for wronging a good person, he is not very proficient in this business.

Song Siwei grabbed the bottle and drank it again. Chi Xingyan changed his arrogance of hitting someone when he came here, and he was so cowardly that he didn't even dare to meow. The two sat in silence until Song Siwei drank a bottle of whiskey. Bottom.

Chi Xingyan was afraid that he would be really drunk to death, so he coughed dryly to find a topic: "Then...the two of you didn't get together after that? Did Lu Zhao...didn't confess?"

Song Siwei put down the empty wine bottle, covered his eyes with his hands, and said in a dull voice, "It's too late."

Chi Xingyan nodded with a half understanding: "Well..."

Song Siwei's Adam's apple trembled slightly, and he said with difficulty the ending of this secret love: "He only lived to be 26 years old, and died unexpectedly while filming."

Chi Xingyan's heart trembled suddenly, and he looked at Song Siwei in disbelief, not even knowing how to organize his words.

He regarded Lu Zhao as a rival in love, dubbed him "White Moonlight" grandiosely based on his guesses, and dumped Song Siwei with great fanfare. no longer alive...

Song Siwei looked over, his eye circles were red, alcohol had invaded his brain, disintegrated his usual indifference, and now only the most primitive honesty remained.

He held Chi Xingyan's hand tightly, as if explaining, but also as if begging: "There really are no male vixen, trust me?"

Chi Xingyan's lips trembled slightly, and he nodded subconsciously: "Oh..."

Song Siwei leaned over and hugged him, buried his head on his shoulder, his words were full of sadness and confusion: "Why do you like to leave without saying goodbye? Can't you just say goodbye if you want to leave?"

Chi Xingyan slapped himself hard in the heart.He used to be self-willed and angry, Song Siwei has always been arrogant, but he was furious at the fact that he disappeared casually, he did not expect such a sad reason behind it.

Song Siwei's "I didn't have time" contained a lot of helplessness towards the injustice of fate. He had a deep fear of parting without warning, but he repeatedly played black games and disappeared...

I'm not a fucking thing, Chi Xingyan thought.

At 21, he still acted like a teenager, and now he finally paid the price for his outspokenness and willfulness.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." He hugged Song Siwei tightly and apologized in a murmur, "I'm so stupid, I'm as naive as a three-year-old child, I will never leave without saying goodbye again , really, trust me, bro."

Song Siwei was silent for a while, and then said bitterly: "They all lied to me."

Chi Xingyan hurriedly swore and swore: "I'm a dog to lie to you! I will do what I say! I——I will learn to become more mature in the future, and I will never make you sad again."

He followed Song Siwei's back one by one, as if he could get Song Siwei's sadness out of his tailbone.

He brought out all his lifelong self-criticism, stroked Song Siwei's back, and cursed himself:

"Bai Chang, you are so big, is your mind full of mud?"

"Childish as hell..."

"Why do you like you idiot..."

"No progress at all..."

"All the food went into the dog's stomach..."

Song Siwei was almost fell asleep by him, he didn't listen to those self-examinations, he only heard two "dogs" in a daze, suddenly the channel in his mind changed, he raised his head, his eyes lit up staring at Chi Xingyan Get up: "Are you a puppy?"

Chi Xingyan: "..."

Forget it, who made him feel wronged.

"I'm a puppy." Chi Xingyan said reluctantly.

Song Siwei gave a narrow smile, let go of his sadness, and began to become "not a good person": "Quickly say, "I'm a puppy, I can bark". "

Chi Xingyan: "I don't."

Song Siwei stretched out his hands to pinch his face, with an extremely aggrieved expression: "You were "barking" a few days ago! "

Chi Xingyan suddenly suspected that Song Siwei wasn't drunk at all, otherwise how could he still remember the three "woofs" he made out of frustration?

Song Siwei couldn't wait for a response, and Song Siwei's eye circles were a little red again: "You lied to me, are you going to run away again? Do you not like brother anymore?"

Chi Xingyan was choked up by the soul's question and had nothing to say. After holding back for a while, he let out three mournful and indignant voices: "Wow! Wow! Wow!"

Song Siwei fell to the ground with a satisfied smile.

latest comment:

-over--

68. Apology 1

"So you recognized Lu Zhao's nephew as your godson and lent him a doctor's loan. I guessed right this time, right?" Seeing that he was in a better mood, Chi Xingyan asked cautiously.

Song Siwei nodded: "Almost. Lu Yan asked Yangyang to recognize her godfather. I really don't want to have such a godson."

"why?"

Song Siwei's eyes flickered: "Because... I don't want to establish too close a relationship with others. It is a terrible thing for people to add a relative who has no blood for themselves inexplicably. When parting, it will be like cramp. thing."

Just like how he treated Lu Zhao as his younger brother on his own initiative back then, maybe it was because Lu Zhao's role setting was too deep-rooted in his mind, or maybe Lu Zhao's genius acting skills deceived him, until Lu Zhao passed away, he didn't There is a clue.

If he had treated Lu Zhao as an outsider at that time, calmly and distantly, he should have seen that Lu Zhao's trust and dependence had gone far beyond the normal range.

So no matter whether he refused or accepted, it was better than letting him leave so unexpectedly, without leaving a word to Song Siwei, and he didn't even know what Lu Zhao's last wish was.

"When I was young, I was too arrogant..." Song Siwei sighed long, his thoughts were surging, "After reading too many sage books, I always feel that people in reality are terrible, hypocritical, stupid and ignorant, and barely Perfect people can count on one hand, my father counts as one.

I have always admired my father. It wasn't until he was in prison that I realized that perfect people can make mistakes. The more beautiful the surface, the crazier the inside may be. "

"I began to have an unprecedented dislike for real people. Have you ever heard of Nuwa creating humans?" Song Siwei asked suddenly.

Chi Xingyan: "Of course, I'm a returnee, not a foreigner."

"Nu Wa flicked the rattan, and the mud idea became a human being. Humans are born from the mud, and greed and desire are the original sins. Real people are so unbearable, why should I endure knowing and loving real people——The story of Zhuang Zhou's Dream Butterfly You Have you heard it?"

Chi Xingyan felt that Song Siwei, who was drunk, really treated himself like a child, and was a little helpless: "Of course, the nine-year compulsory education is in China, okay?"

"Did I become a butterfly, or did I become a butterfly... When I was acting, I often had this question..."

Song Siwei said, making a butterfly flying motion with his hand, "Zuo is just this life, living as Song Siwei himself, or living as various characters, what is the essential difference?

I thought there was no difference at the time, even when I was living as a character, I could enjoy a magnificent life, and I could also talk about life and death and ultimate romance with the lovers in the play. At that time, I felt that I had found a shortcut to enjoy life. "

Chi Xingyan's mind was buzzing, thinking that Song Siwei was indeed a contemporary male Bodhisattva, and he was thinking about some philosophical issues.

True is true, false is false, and no matter how beautiful the false is, it cannot be true. Do you still need to ask such an obvious question?

Song Siwei saw that his expression was so dazed and cute, he couldn't help scratching the bridge of his nose: "This is my ultimate arrogance - I am made of mud with original sin, but I think others are mud, and I want to use acting , have a dream that never wakes up..."

"So I paid the price. I was living in a dream, and I didn't even know that someone had a crush on me, and then he walked away angrily."

He thought, did he really not notice Lu Zhao's secret love at all?

Or did he notice it, but judge others by himself, thinking that he just entered the play and suffered from sequelae?

He turned a blind eye to the real, passionate love that was within reach, and chose to pursue the fake love fabricated in the play.

On the road of finding love and perfection, he chose to take a shortcut, so fate showed him a red card and took away a true soul that was willing to love him thousands of times.

He suddenly turned his head to look at Chi Xingyan, the light in his eyes was delicate and gentle.

you are destiny to me