Fear Collection

Back home, Xie Jinxi took out a vase and poured water, and placed the bouquets that the two of them had brought back. Of course, this vase was also brought back from the flower shop.

In the transparent long-necked glass bottle, you can see clear water and green stalks, above which are sunflowers and champagne roses, placed on the coffee table, it seems to have brought back a big "sun" to the home.

Xie Jinxi, who just had lunch, was a little lazy, but because he got up too late and didn't feel sleepy, he didn't want to take a nap, so he went to his father's study to see if he had any books to read.

While rummaging through the bookshelf, Xie Jinxi saw a scrapbook of his father. It was a loose-leaf book. The outer cover was made of hard cowhide, and inside was a page of loose-leaf paper. It seems that there are all kinds of anecdotes and strange things.

Xie Jinxi knew that this was the material book for his father to accumulate writing materials for himself.

Xie Jinxi took it away and went back to the living room to sit down, watching it for entertainment.

Flipping through the pages, he suddenly came across a newspaper clipping, on which the name of a tasker—Bai Ange—appeared.

"Bai Ange?" Xie Jinxi slid her finger on the three words, and muttered with a frown.

Seeing this newspaper clipping, Xie Jinxi vaguely recalled some real-life reports of Bai Ange.

He had no memory of the last world, but now that the memory returns, he has a little impression of Bai Ange.

Bai Ange is indeed a very well-known talented painter. His paintings have a very surrealist style. Most of them use a large number of color blocks to express strong and complex emotions, and there are few depictions of scenes or lines of objects.

The newspaper clipping in Xie Jinxi's hand is a painting by Bai Ange called "On Golgotha ​​Mountain". There is a deep yellow crack in the sky above a fuzzy, black mountain range.The main mountain range is composed of overlapping color blocks, which seriously looks like a mountain range composed of various high-rise buildings.

The clippings are also attached with critics' various comments on the painting, most of which are praising and analyzing what the painting specifically expresses.

Xie Jinxi turned a page back, and the next page seemed to be an interview with Bai An Ge published in a magazine:

Interviewer: Today we invited a cutting-edge surrealist painter... His paintings generally have strong colors, express the same strong emotions with large areas of color blocks, and at the same time are full of thoughts and meanings. The connotation and meaning of the painting are endlessly debated, so we have invited the artist today to hear what the artist’s motivation for creation is, what the painting wants to express, how he interprets his own painting, and what the critics and the public are saying. What is your opinion?

Interviewer: Mr. Bai Regarding the painting "On Calvary", why did you choose to add yellow cracks in the sky?What does that crack represent?

Bai Ange: It’s not what it represents, but it’s what it looks like. The yellow crack itself exists, hanging high above my head. I saw it, so I drew it.So I want to point out a mistake you just said, I am not a surrealist painter, but a realist painter, a realist.

Interviewer: Mr. Bai, I don't understand. You say you are a realist. Is the world in the eyes of painters different from that of ordinary people?

Bai Ange: I don’t know, I only know that I can see, even I become a painter only because I can see, I need to find a method and tool that can express the world in my eyes, and painting is the most convenient, It is also the most realistic one.Maybe I could become a budding photographer if there was a camera that captured what I saw instead of what the camera focused on.

Interviewer: So... your motivation for writing is...

Bai Ange: Because I can see but you can't.

Interviewer: What do you want to express...

Bai Ange: It looks like that. I repeat, I am a realistic painter.As for the opinions of those critics or the public, I think they have analyzed it very well.I am a poor painter who only knows how to draw realism, but they see further than I do...

That's the end of the newspaper clipping, Xie Jinxi continued to turn down a page, and the next page was an article by another famous scholar, but Bai Ange was mentioned in the article.

The title of the article was "The Meaning itself Stripped of its Clothes", and the content inside was even more obscure. Xie Jinxi tried hard to understand it for a long time, and roughly summarized the scholar's point of view.

This scholar believes that art is largely the cloak of meaning.For example, in poetry, the images and words used in poetry all point to meaning. He believes that for poets, words are objects, and meaning is cast in this object; another example is painting. This scholar talks more about painting.

He believes that painters express meaning with color, shape or line, such as apple green. Color stripped out.

Just like seeing Van Gogh's sunflowers, seeing the flowers composed of various yellows, people have no way to separate meanings such as hope, enthusiasm, and brightness from them, or in other words, the color becomes the meaning itself.

The choice of color reflects the deepest motivation of the writer. There must be a kind of motivation that drives the painter to choose to paint with yellow instead of other colors, and this is the motivation to express this meaning.And when this color is chosen, the meaning infiltrates into this color in turn, making these colors materialized meanings.

Here the scholar cites Bai Ange's painting "On Golgotha ​​Mountain". He said that Bai Ange chose this yellow color not to express anxiety, nor to arouse anxiety, but because this yellow is depression itself, and at the same time it constitutes That crack.

It's not a crack made of worry, and it's not a crack with worry, that yellow crack is worry materialized.In the terms of existentialism, this yellow color is no longer an indeterminate existence, it has acquired essence and meaning.

Therefore, the things in Bai Ange's eyes are actually the materialization of meaning and emotion, and the painting is only the expression of meaning and emotion, a coat.

At this point, Xie Jinxi saw the two paragraphs that her father annotated below with a blue pen.

"It may not be that color is a materialized meaning or a materialized emotion, but this expression may be closer to the world in his eyes. Maybe the meaning and emotion in his eyes are just 'things'. Just like the flowers and plants in the natural world, for him He said that worry is also a kind of thing, and he painted it in a realistic way, so he said that he is a realistic and realistic painter."

The next paragraph is written in different shades of ink, and it can be seen that his father did not stop writing, hesitating and thinking while writing.

"Perhaps, the world in his eyes is really different from ours. I... have heard of people like him before, but..."

Xie Jinxi only felt that his father was hesitant to speak. He continued to scroll down, and the next page became a newspaper clipping. Schizophrenia and his condition became more and more serious, and he had to be hospitalized for treatment.

The report expresses regret for a genius like Bai Ange, and at the same time implicitly expresses that the reason why Bai Ange became a cutting-edge painter is inseparable from the hallucinations caused by his mental illness.In this report, what Bai Ange said in the interview before was bolded again, as if to say that his mental illness had already shown signs.

Below is his father's comment: "schizophrenia, hallucinations... well, that's a valid reason, but maybe what he said is true, he just sees things differently from us. The media is always trying to be the first Come to a conclusion, and then look for clues from the previous events, and intercept those few words as evidence to support their conclusion."

Turning one page back, there is the news report of Bai Ange's death by jumping off the building, and then there are several color-printed papers of Bai Ange's works. Xie Jinxi stopped on the last painting.

The name of that painting is "The World", and it depicts diametrically opposed but equally distorted worlds.A world is like a broken mirror, that is, only one of the worlds is distorted, and the broken mirror shows the same distorted world only because it reflects the other world.

The colors in the painting are mixed together, like a river and a raging fire. There are many black phantoms overlapping together, and the phantoms are stretched horizontally, like... like...

"worm……"

Xie Jinxi murmured, he has seen this painting, no, it should be said that he has seen a scene similar to this painting, on the Trinity chair, the one that symbolizes the transcendence He once used a very high perspective Watch the world of heads and tails.

Xie Jinxi glanced at the completion time of this painting. This painting was the latest to be completed among all the paintings, and it was the last painting that Bai Ange completed before committing suicide.

No wonder Bai Ange came to the reverse world after committing suicide.

Xie Jinxi sighed. Although he had heard of Bai Ange before, he only knew about his fame and his death. After his death, Bai Ange's reputation not only did not decrease, but became more and more famous because of the bizarre way of death. bigger.

He never thought that one day, he would meet a person who was "dead" in the real world in the reverse world, and he never thought that Bai Ange's works would show that he was in the real world, or that he had seen something similar to what he had seen. Similar scene.

It's a pity, it's a pity that he has no memory, and it's a pity that he only saw this clipping book now, otherwise he would definitely have a few more conversations with Bai Ange.

Regarding Bai Ange, Xie Jinxi guessed that he is probably the same type of person as Feng Sinian. Feng Sinian can hear the voice of narration, and the world in Bai Ange's eyes is completely different from the world in the eyes of normal people. Bai Ange can see meaning, emotions, etc. Waiting for things to condense into 'things'.

"So at that time...it wasn't really that I was crazy, but that I really, saw the true colors of the world."

Xie Jinxi's paintings and violent ups and downs of mood caught Muta's attention. When Muta came over, Xie Jinxi handed him the newspaper clipping and told him all his thoughts and conjectures.

"It's a pity, I don't know if I will meet him in the future..."

The author has something to say: the paragraphs of the specific viewpoints in this article are from the first section of Jean-Paul Sartre's "What is Literature", translated by Shi Kangqiang.

Of course, the author added some words indiscriminately. For specific points of view, I suggest you read the original text.

感谢在2021-08-1423:38:14~2021-08-1614:44:37期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the grenade: 1 in Yunlou;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of floating fish; 1 bottle of ooze;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!