drunk oxygen

The author has something to say: The reason why Xingxing is contradictory is because he knows that Brother Yan loves Xingxing very much, and loves the real him, but if Xingxing goes crazy, he will hurt Brother Yan. He doesn’t know what to do to be the best for Brother Yan. Brother Yan It's the same, he doesn't want to see Xing Xing suffering and entangled because of him...

After the fourth treatment, Xie Xinghe occasionally lost his mind, and sometimes Pei Yan had to say it two or three times before he could hear him.

Pei Yan told Dr. Yan about this situation, and Dr. Yan said that this is a phenomenon that may occur during the treatment, and Xie Xinghe should take medicine on time, take a good rest, and tell him in time if there are other abnormal symptoms.

"Xing Xing, it's time to eat." Pei Yan shouted from the kitchen.

He didn't get a response, so he had no choice but to go to the living room. Xie Xinghe held the book in one hand and touched the ketchup lying on his lap with the other, without turning the pages of the book.

Pei Yan watched quietly for a while, and deliberately made some noise when he walked behind Xie Xinghe, so as not to scare him.

Xie Xinghe finally came back to his senses, looked back, Pei Yan stood behind the sofa and bent over to hug him, kissed him on the cheek, and asked softly, "What was Xingxing thinking just now?"

Xie Xinghe closed the book and put it aside, and leaned lazily into his arms, "I didn't think about anything, just let go in a daze."

Tomato Sauce was woken up, stood up, stretched, shook his hair, and rubbed stickyly into Xie Xinghe's arms, but it underestimated its current size, its hind legs were empty, and it slid off the sofa down.

Xie Xinghe was amused by it, stopped after a while, raised his head and said to Pei Yan: "It seems a little silly..."

Pei Yan looked into Xie Xinghe's eyes, and the smile inside seemed to help Xie Xinghe prove that he really had nothing to worry about.

Pei Yan lowered his head and kissed his eyelids, "It's just a silly dog, you must think it's smart, let's go, go eat."

------

After the fifth treatment, Xie Xinghe started to suffer from insomnia again, and his mind-wandering became more and more serious. Pei Yan chatted with Dr. Yan alone for a while, and followed his advice to suspend the treatment.

Pei Yan's face looked haggard, "I will tell you about his daily situation, and you can decide when to continue the treatment."

Yan Qi hesitated to speak, Pei Yan said: "Doctor Yan, if you have anything to say, just say it."

Yan Qi looked into his eyes, "Mr. Pei, you seem to want him to receive treatment more than Xinghe himself."

Pei Yan was stunned for a while, then lowered his head and squeezed the space between his brows, "I...I hope he can be cured as soon as possible, otherwise he will be like this...it will be very painful."

"You seem to be in some pain now." Yan Qi said.

Pei Yan kept his head down, raised his head to look at Yan Qi after a while, and admitted with difficulty: "Yes, because I am selfish, I will suffer if his illness is not cured, and I will also suffer when his illness is cured." .”

Pei Yan paused, his voice became a little hoarse, "...Because he was a lunatic when I fell in love with him, and I don't want to lose him...Doctor Yan, am I also a lunatic?"

Yan Qi stared at Pei Yan in silence for a while before saying: "You have been too nervous recently, you can do a simple psychological counseling."

Pei Yan nodded mechanically, "Okay."

·

When Pei Yan returned home, he would tell Dr. Yan about the situation of the day every night.

Xie Xinghe found him in the study after playing the piano, "Working?"

Pei Yan shook his head, closed the computer and waved to him, "Come here and give me a hug."

Xie Xinghe walked to his side, Pei Yan put his arms around his waist, rubbed his face against his stomach, "Xing Xinghe, don't you plan to play the piano in the shop again?"

"No," Xie Xinghe said, "It's boring, I might as well play it for you."

Pei Yan chuckled a few times, "I don't understand..."

Xie Xinghe rubbed his head, "It's okay, I like to play for you."

Pei Yan was silent for a moment, "Xing Xing, what do you think is interesting?"

Xie Xinghe didn't have time to think at all, and said directly: "To be with you."

Pei Yan looked up at him, Xie Xinghe repeated: "With you, everything is interesting."

Pei Yan's tears seemed to be getting lower and lower, he didn't dare to look at Xie Xinghe again, and buried his face back again, "I think so too."

·

When Xie Xinghe suffered from insomnia, Pei Yan often stayed up with him, and fell asleep only in the second half of the night when he couldn't stay up, and then woke up near noon the next day.

He reached out and touched it, but it was empty and there was no temperature.

After washing up, Pei Yan went downstairs to look for someone, "Xing Xing?"

Tomato Sauce yelled, and Pei Yan smiled and said, "It's Xing Xing, I didn't call you."

He searched for the movement in the kitchen, "Xing Xing, why do you..."

Ignore me.

Pei Yan couldn't say the last few words, he stopped a few steps away from the kitchen, staring blankly at the scene in front of him.

Xie Xinghe was wearing an apron and was holding a kitchen knife in his right hand, which was covered in blood.

He turned his head to look over, and there was blood on his face, hands, and apron.

Pei Yan looked at the ground again, the white tiles were also splattered with blood.

Ketchup yelled at Xie Xinghe in the kitchen twice, and Pei Yan asked softly, "Xing Xing, what are you doing?"

Xie Xinghe held up a kitchen knife and said, "Kill the fish."

Pei Yan's voice tightened, "Why don't you let the boss kill you?"

"I want to kill myself." Xie Xinghe said.

Pei Yan took a deep breath and reached out his hand, "Xing Xing, come here, don't step on the blood on the ground."

Xie Xinghe walked towards him obediently, Pei Yan said again: "Put down the knife."

Xie Xinghe obediently put down the kitchen knife again, walked up to him and smiled, "Did it scare you?"

Pei Yan suddenly raised his voice, "You fucking know it too! I almost thought you were dismembering the corpse just now!"

"Whose corpse can I divide?" Xie Xinghe said.

Pei Yan subconsciously looked at the ketchup beside him. Xie Xinghe treasured it so much that he wouldn't divide it up.

Xie Xinghe laughed again, and stretched out his hand to touch Pei Yan's face, "I'm not that perverted..."

Pei Yan opened his hand, "It's full of blood, don't touch me, wash your hands."

"Okay, I'm going to wash my hands, I'm killing fish, don't be afraid."

Pei Yan grabbed Xie Xinghe again, "Don't wash your hands, go upstairs and take a shower."

He pushed Xie Xinghe into the bathroom, Xie Xinghe carefully washed off the blood on his body, squeezed a lot of shower gel and applied it on his body, and when he came out, he was very fragrant.

Pei Yan wanted to blow his hair, but Xie Xinghe hung on him directly, and asked in a low voice, "Pei Yan, were you afraid of me just now?"

Pei Yan paused, put the hair dryer aside, and pushed Xie Xinghe's head to make him look up, "Xie Xinghe, I was really scared just now, but I was not afraid of you, I was afraid that you would hurt yourself again. "

It is no exaggeration to say that when Pei Yan saw so much blood on the kitchen knife, he really lost his ability to speak in an instant. He was cold from head to toe, as if his heart stopped beating.

Xie Xinghe apologized to him softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't sleep all night, I was too irritable, so I just wanted to do something."

Pei Yan clasped the back of his neck and pressed him back into his arms, "Next time, do something else, and I'll accompany you. Don't kill the fish, okay?"

"Um, sorry..."

Pei Yan's lips pressed against his ear, "Don't say sorry, have you taken your medicine?"

"forget……"

"Dry your hair first, and then go take medicine after drying your hair."

"it is good."

"Xing Xing, believe me, I will always love you very much." Pei Yan said devoutly.

·

In the early morning, Pei Yan could no longer hold back his drowsiness and fell asleep, but Xie Xinghe kept his eyes open in the dark. He knew why he was insomnia.

want to treat.

Don't want to treat.

Want to become a normal person.

I don't want to become a normal person.

I want Pei Yan to love the stars.

I don't want Pei Yan to love Xing Xing.

Want to love Pei Yan.

I don't want to give Pei Yan such love.

I want to give Pei Yan freedom.

I don't want to give Pei Yan freedom.

I want Pei Yan to be by my side forever.

I want Pei Yan to be happy forever.

Pei Yan will always love him.

Pei Yan fell in love with the stars.

Want to give up the stars.

In no mood.

……

Xie Xinghe closed his eyes abruptly, his originally calm breathing gradually became rapid, and completely contradictory thoughts seemed to tear him apart.

Headache, very painful, very painful.

Xie Xinghe clenched his fists and clenched his teeth. The cold sweat on his forehead grew more and more, his chest heaved unceasingly, and it seemed that something was about to explode in his head. In the quiet bedroom, only his violent breathing could be heard.

Xie Xinghe struggled to get out of bed, stepped on the ground with his bare feet, and walked out with his eyes tightly closed.

Tomato sauce fell asleep on the floor of the bedroom at some point, Xie Xinghe tripped over it, spun around, and fell to the floor with a "boom".

Pei Yan woke up instantly, and sat up suddenly from the bed, "Xingxing?"

He looked at the place beside him, no one was there, so he quickly got out of bed and turned on the light, "The stars..."

When Xie Xinghe fell, his mind was a little clearer. He propped himself up on the floor and sat up. Pei Yan walked over quickly and said anxiously, "Why did you fall? Does it hurt? Where did you fall? Is it serious? "

The ketchup was smashed by Xie Xinghe and it was still a little confused. Xie Xinghe shook his head, touched it and said, "I didn't see it clearly, I accidentally stepped on it..."

Pei Yan supported him, "Can you stand up?"

Xie Xinghe nodded, and was supported by Pei Yan to stand up slowly. Pei Yan looked at him worriedly, "Why is his face so pale? Where did the fall hurt so much?"

"I didn't fall, really, I just woke up and rushed to the bathroom, so I fell blind."

He was in a hurry to go to the bathroom, Pei Yan hurriedly followed him to support him, "Slow down..."

Xie Xinghe stood in front of the toilet, Pei Yan stood beside him and looked at him, eyes met, Pei Yan said: "Why are you standing there, get on it."

Xie Xinghe was helpless, "You look at me, how can I get on?"

"Are you afraid to watch even if you're married?" Pei Yan said, "Aren't I afraid that you will fall again?"

Xie Xinghe pushed him with a smile, "Get out, hurry up, I'm really suffocating."

Pei Yan stood at the door and helped him close the door, and Tomato Sauce followed him and stood beside him. Pei Yan lowered his head and stared at it and said, "Next time, I'll sleep in another place. Didn't I buy you a kennel? No sofa or bed? Do you have to sleep on the ground as a stumbling block?"

Ketchup hummed aggrievedly, and Pei Yan bent down and rubbed its head vigorously a few times, "Are you still wronged? Xing Xing hasn't been wronged yet."

After a while, Pei Yan asked outside: "Xing Xing, are you alright?"

No one should.

Pei Yan clicked his tongue, "Are you really shy? You shouldn't be... Baby Xingxing? I'm coming in."

Pei Yan pushed open the door and found Xie Xinghe standing blankly in front of the mirror. He walked over with a smile and hugged him from behind, "You look so seriously in the mirror, you can't even hear me..."

Pei Yan rested his chin on Xie Xinghe's shoulder, and looked up with him to see the person in the mirror, but in the next second, his smile froze on his face.

Looking in the mirror, there was a bright red bloodstain on the other side of Xie Xinghe's face, from the cheekbone to the chin, and even when Pei Yan looked over, a drop of blood dripped on Xie Xinghe's collarbone.

Pei Yan was at a loss at that moment, he couldn't move, couldn't think, he could only maintain the posture of hugging Xie Xinghe from behind intimately, and opened his mouth slightly.

Xie Xinghe was the first to recover. He turned and pushed Pei Yan away. Pei Yan was pushed back a few steps and leaned against the cold tiles in the bathroom, still looking at him blankly.

Xie Xinghe didn't look at him, lowered his head and said, "Pei Yan, I don't want to be treated anymore."

Pei Yan blinked slowly, and it took him a while to find his voice, "What happened to your face?"

Xie Xinghe remained silent, Pei Yan asked again in a hoarse voice, "What happened to your face?"

He took two steps forward and stared at Xie Xinghe, his voice hoarse and sad, "Xie Xinghe and I are fucking asking you something! How did you get your face like this!"

"I don't know." Xie Xinghe said.

Pei Yan let out a laugh, his expression twisted, he didn't know whether he wanted to cry or laugh, "I don't know? It was fine just now, you tell me now that you don't know?"

Pei Yan pushed Xie Xinghe onto the sink, suddenly raised his voice, and yelled at him like a mad beast: "If you don't want to be cured, then die! Who are you showing this to! Ah Me? Do you fucking think I'm afraid of you? Do you think I can stop loving you?"

He pushed Xie Xinghe away and rummaged around on the sink. A glass bottle fell and fell to pieces. Pei Yan bent down to pick up a piece of broken glass, staring at Xie Xinghe frantically, "Come on." Ah! Aren’t you happy? Don’t you just like this? I’ll help you! I’ll help you!”

Xie Xinghe didn't move, and Pei Yan stepped on the broken glass on the ground and walked over, "Are you trying to scratch your face? Are you trying to prove that I don't love your face? You won't believe what I say, Okay, if you don’t want to do it, I can help you!”

Pei Yan's palm was bleeding from sharp fragments, Xie Xinghe suddenly stopped conflicting and struggling, he looked at Pei Yan's hand and said calmly: "If I don't treat it, you can only be with a lunatic. Together, I may be fine, or I may become more and more crazy, not letting you go to the company, not letting you make friends, not letting you go out, even locking you in a room, not letting you..."

Pei Yan and his nose to nose, gritted their teeth and said word by word: "Then, and, can, how, how, how?"

Xie Xinghe stared at him, Pei Yan held the glass piece in one hand and squeezed his shoulder with the other, "The person I choose, the star I love, what can I do with a lunatic for the rest of my life!"

Even Pei Yan's lips were trembling, Xie Xinghe said in a low voice, "Put this down first."

Pei Yan gripped it even tighter, the blood from his palm flowed down onto Xie Xinghe's body, "It's nothing more than this! What else can you do! What else can you do to me!"

Tears fell from Xie Xinghe's eyes without warning, mixed with the blood on his face, and he didn't even notice it.

He squeezed Pei Yan's wrist tightly, even harder than Pei Yan squeezed broken glass, "Okay, I won't be entangled anymore, I won't treat you in the future, Xing Xing will always be with you."

The blood in Pei Yan's palm had already flowed onto Xie Xinghe's hand. Xie Xinghe used his blood-stained fingers to break apart Pei Yan's fingertips bit by bit, took off the piece of broken glass and threw it into the trash can behind him. .

"Brother Yan, I promise you, this is the last time, and I won't hurt myself again."

Pei Yan remained silent, still staring at him closely with the same expression just now, Xie Xinghe clasped his fingers tightly, and pressed his palm against Pei Yan's bleeding wound, both palms became dripping with blood.

Xie Xinghe smiled, half of his face was still bleeding, he looked crazy and frightening, like a real lunatic, "This may be the future of both of us."

Pei Yan grabbed him back with force, and the finger bones of both of them were pinched so painfully.

"I do not care."