The third year after the death of the emperor

"Huaiyu, my love, spread the letter like meeting..."

Different from the dusty "Old Revelation", different from the unearthed emperor's living notes, these pages are as fresh as yesterday, with little ink stains, clearly dried, but there is still doubt that the fingertips will be stained when touched, and the ink is permeated on them. Taste, with herbaceous fragrance, deep and cold.

Xie Wen couldn't find where to start. The letter in his hand is the sixth year of Qiming, which is the first year he left... Compared with a love letter, this is indeed more like a reply letter. It will be really handed over to him in a moment, Xie Wen almost sees through countless times, and vaguely sees the appearance of him rolling up his sleeves and writing pen 25 years ago.

Xiao Xuanqian wrote that the spring should be just right in Kyoto, the branches are full of peach blossoms, and the wind blows like rain. He talked about the government affairs of the government and the public, and the daily trivial matters. Everything is clear and well-organized, and the words are thoughtful, without any change. More importantly, it seems that this thin piece of paper is enough to express feelings.The ending reads——I hope Huaiyu will love you, and I will give you a reply when you see it.

In his boundless future, there seems to be only the idea of ​​"looking forward to his love". The so-called "faith is as good as you meet, and you get back when you see it" is just a fantasy in his mind and a longing in his will. Underpinning his desire to act normal... but that wish was too far-fetched.

In the first year, every letter contained this sentence, and every day since the class teacher returned to court, every letter arranged in order was filled with more and more gloomy and depressing, yet calm as ice. breath.He mentioned less and less about those posthumous scriptures, and the number of times he got angry about them gradually decreased, but the number of times he called him a teacher in his letters gradually decreased... On the day of August [-]th, he went to see After leaving Xiao Tianrou, he played a game of chess with the eldest princess.

Xiao Xuanqian did not put their conversation into writing, but gave up the fantasy of looking for him from the chessboard. At the end of that letter, he called it like this for the first time: "My wife's love, that is, Song Jin'an, standing still Respond."

Stand still and reply...

The things are the same, but the person does not exist, how to reply?

Xie Wen stroked those few words, his calm water-like heart was constantly rippling, as if a mountain made of ice was floating, and the love of the other party was sealed in the ice layer, heavy and painful, as the ice layer melted, it continued to sink down.

In the seventh year of Qiming, after almost a whole year of cooling down, Xiao Xuanqian, who was full of hope and waiting for a reply, finally exhausted his patience. The days of being too lonely and lonely had eaten away his body. In June, Xiao Xuanqian was in the Under the witness of Tongtong, he was under the control of the disease.After hundreds of days of isolation, the golden wrong knife was re-stained with blood.

His pain-inducing symptoms came back again, and the attack was more violent and irritable than ever before. The palace people in Ziwei Palace all retreated, and Cui Sheng rushed forward when the smell of blood spread to thick, risking his life The knife was snatched into his sleeve, and he cried bitterly and begged His Majesty to cherish the dragon body... In the peaceful world, Xiao Xuanqian suddenly felt that everything in this world was extremely blurred, and he felt a painful and unspeakable sense of detachment.

Xie Huaiyu...

Why did I stay here when you left me?

It had been a long time since he had suffered such a serious injury.Zhang Ze lowered his eyebrows and said nothing while bandaging him. Tong Tong sat quietly beside him, closing his eyes and not looking at the knife.And when there was no one there, he sank into an uncontrollable depression of self-loathing.

His mind was in a mess, and Xie Wen's words that he didn't allow him to hurt himself emerged.At this moment, today, today, the other party's words and deeds are still in his bone marrow like a silk thread that can die at the touch, but he has violated it again.

Xiao Xuanqian was silent for a long time, until Tongtong unbearably cut off the test on him.Just like the system can monitor Xie Wen's psychological state, she can also empathize with the psychological state of the new host... She must take the initiative to cut off this torture, so as not to accompany the other party to go crazy.

When he slightly rolled up his sleeves and wrote a reply, he inadvertently dropped unfinished blood on the page.Then, in order to cover up the blood stains, it was reapplied with Zhu Zhu to cover up the traces, but after so many years, there is still a faint trace of blood on it.

In the eighth year of Qiming, Meier got married.Xiao Xuanqian is still busy with government affairs, but that old illness still often visits when he dreams back at midnight.A king who sits on the world has been struggling for so long on the verge of self-destruction.His letter began to lose its order, and slowly lost the prudence it should have had. He even mentioned that he stayed up all night and watched the moon with the cat, which would arouse speculation.

Jade Lion is more favored than him.Xiao Xuanqian looked at the white cat rolling under the moonlight, thinking suddenly.He looked at the cat wagging its tail, and suddenly asked, "Aren't you sad?"

"Meow."

"He doesn't want you anymore." Xiao Xuanqian said.

The jade lion tilted its head to look at him, the moonlight cast a layer of tulle on the long-haired cat, and it let out a soft cry.

The emperor stared at him, took a long time to look away, and admitted reluctantly: "He doesn't want me anymore."

No one thought that he could find the resonance in a cat that was tormented by longing and burned his mind.

But this humble resonance didn't last long. In the first month of the ninth year of Qiming, Jade Lion left Ziwei Palace.It licked Xiao Xuanqian's hand docilely, but turned around and ran away, never to be found again.Xiao Xuanqian felt that if he had it so docile and well-behaved...it would be useless. He still hasn't found a way to keep Xie Wen.

If we meet again, will you remember me?

he thought uncertainly.

His memory cooled down slowly, and faded under his deliberate avoidance of pain. He seldom thought of the things between the two of them inadvertently, and the frequency of his symptoms dropped.Xiao Xuanqian himself also felt self-doubt, is it really possible for him to leave the other party as Xie Wen said?

But when he writes back letters every night, the love and nostalgia that have been sunk into the icy water are like a kind of poison pierced into the bone marrow, a thorn that extends into the flesh and blood.

He has reached the quagmire, but he will be washed and dirty by "Huaiyu My Love" over and over again, allowing him to come to the shore.

In the autumn of the 11th year of Qiming, it rained heavily. The emperor passed by Xie's mansion and wept for the old scene.

Those blurred shadows reappeared.

Xiao Xuanqian was hit by the thick and heavy sorrow and loneliness, his mind was shaken, the old things that he had deliberately forgotten seemed to be revived at this moment, and reinjected into his gentle heart.

It's been like this for five years.

How embarrassing are people.

Also from this day on, it became more and more difficult for him to reply to the letters calmly, and these paper writings gradually changed from letterheads that would be torn apart to a kind of sustenance, even a suicide note.He confides his missing, very close love words, and sometimes expresses his hatred, but he can't bear to treat him in a harsher way, and he refuses to write down too heartless words, so he can only say over and over again, I love you very much, and I hate you too .

In November of the 16th year of Qiming, a question appeared at the end of his letter with great uncertainty, presumably he was not asking Xie Wen, but himself.He thought to himself: am I still alive?After being separated for ten years to this day, serving the court and the country, acting like a wandering soul, how can they still live to this day?

This question comes up frequently.The contents of the letter are often confused, the words are not well thought out, and often lose order and embellishment. Apart from repeating Xie Wen's name, he is eager to reply and wait for the reply. He is full of strong resistance to this ten years of silence , this sense of resistance fermented slowly, but soon, he climbed up from the mire again and warned himself: half a hundred steps, you are still alive.

Not only that, but he has to go all the way.Even if he doesn't trust Tong Tong's words [-]%, but no one is willing to lose a life-saving straw.Xiao Xuanqian rearranged the letters he had written and looked through them every day, and seemed to be able to draw some desire to persevere from them.

As for Xie Wen's farewell letter, he avoided it, kept it close to him, and seldom displayed it.

For Xiao Xuanqian, the parting book filled with Xie Wen's handwriting and love words will only make his will to reorganize fall apart faster...until the first task is completed.

The reminder of the completion of the first task appeared in his mind, Xiao Xuanqian stared at it for a long time, he thought, it was true.

Will definitely see you again.

His heart suddenly calmed down. When everything lost its luster and there was only one way, a glimmer of light, he could only live by it... This kind of tranquility almost had the tendency of self-freezing and self-abuse. After the silence approached numbness, this decade-long intermission began.

Xiao Xuanqian lowered his head, habitually wanting to continue to approve the memorial on the case, but Zhu Zhu did not drop for a long time, and the sharp juice fell down, turning as bright red as blood on the paper.

In the end, those replies are more often than not a habit.Xiao Jiu seems to want to take these replies, together with Xie Wen's farewell letter, as his real funeral objects, let these strong love and hate accompany him into death, and let these culprits who hollowed out all his emotional nerves accompany him. Watching him corrupt alone.

So in the end, apart from some gold, Xiao Xuanqian only took away the box containing the reply letter, and then put them into the suitcase, and put them in the second bedroom that Xie Wen would not usually visit, just like storing his own real funeral objects.Tongtong knows all these things.

She looked at Xie Wen and read a few letters like a spot check, and rubbed her small satchel to his side, feeling guilty for not keeping the little emperor's secret carelessly, Tong Tong said cautiously: "You still don't want to read it." That's all, I thought he was crazy and something was wrong at the beginning, and some of them should have been written when he was insane."

Xie Wen was silent for a moment, and said: "He didn't let me know because he thought I would be sad?"

Tongtong nodded: "Yes, yes, actually, I hated Xiao Jiu quite a bit at first, but after I connected with him... Well, if it's a simple love letter or reply, it's too late for him to take credit for you." , but those things in the past... If you feel sad and cry after watching it, you might as well not watch it."

Xie Wen put down the letter paper, he closed his eyes, and the soreness in his eye sockets was slowly suppressed, and he said in a low voice: "Didn't you expect me to reply."

"That's all the hope of the past," Tong Tong said, "The little emperor has cultivated to be very calm. We came here at the beginning, but we couldn't wait for you. He almost had to figure out where to bury himself. You didn't wait for two months, as long as there is a chance, he will not let you go."

Xie Wen couldn't speak, and Tong Tong realized that what he said was not quite right: "I mean, he won't let you go... Oh, when the time comes, I will secretly tell you about the past, let's pretend we didn't find out ..."

"Didn't find anything?"

Tongtong's voice suddenly disappeared.One hand rested on Xie Wen's shoulder from behind, and the other hand slightly circled around, touched his cheek, and then covered his slightly hot eyes.

"Don't look at this." Xiao Xuanqian said in a low voice, "You will be sad."

Xie Wen raised his head slightly, his fine eyelashes trembled slightly on the opponent's fingertips, he could only say: "Okay."

Xiao Xuanqian was a little surprised, he hugged the other person's waist, pulled Xie Wen into his arms, and then gently kissed his side cheek: "Why are you so obedient and easy to talk..."

Xie Wen said: "I mean... well, I'll reply to you, every letter."

"...every one?"

"It's just a grace for me. I can't finish writing in 25 years." Xie Wen raised her hand and pressed the back of his hand, pulling down the blindfolded knuckles of the other party, and said in a low voice, "I will pay for the rest of the time." Here it is. The past cannot be compensated by the sun and the moon. From now on, I will like and love you even more, so don’t feel sad.”

The author has something to say: In order to write neatly, the position of the greeting in this chapter is wrong. The words "My wife loves to learn" cannot be used at the end of the letter.