grandfather's daughter-in-law

At that time, I didn't know how to compromise, I didn't know how difficult the world was, and I didn't know how to compromise. I only knew how to escape blindly.I thought that the sky and the earth are big, and there is always a place for me. Anyway, I am alone and have no worries.So, I'm planning to leave.After something like this happened, I don't have the face to stay here any longer.Well, life is probably like this, passing by one stop after another, meeting different people, getting along, loving and hating, and then parting, and embarking on the journey again.We don't know where the end is, what kind of person we will meet, who we will fall in love with or hate. Maybe she is just an inconspicuous passer-by in your long journey of life, maybe she accidentally gets along with you white head.There is nothing we can do about such a gift or punishment.It's just that I still have some nostalgia more or less, such as Wang Yugui's warm embrace and her shy care.Fate is so shallow, if years go by, will there still be someone who treats me so shyly and tenderly, always stands by my side when I have an accident, supports me, and trusts me.If she stays, maybe she is my ally on this road, and can stand with me against all the misfortunes of life.And my little yellow, it is so well-behaved, accompany me and listen to me.It is estimated to be three years old, with a fat and tall body.Its belly is getting bigger and bigger, and it doesn't like to run around anymore, and it protects its belly intentionally or unintentionally. I guess it is probably pregnant.I don't know if we can see each other again after we leave, I'm afraid I won't be able to wait until its paparazzi is born, and it's not without sadness.After all, I am just a 17-year-old child with a bright future ahead, so how can I pretend to be calm and sophisticated?

Unexpectedly, the culprits apologized to me a few days later.Others also began to talk to me enthusiastically, and they would deliberately reserve a seat for me when eating.I didn't want to know what was going on, and I accepted their sham kindness, even if it all seemed like an ironic joke, and I laughed along with it.I don't have the extra energy to think about what other people think of me. Those rich imaginations and half-understood associative abilities are enough to satisfy all their curiosity-seeking psychology.I don't blame Ding Jianye, he is not wrong, maybe I am really a thief.I remembered a fairy tale I read when I was a child. A well-meaning pastor adopted a homeless man, but his silverware was stolen.I'm like the thief who stole his mother's love.But Ding Jianye took a little more responsibility than I expected. Before I left, he stopped me one day when there were few people in the show.

Uncle Ming left in a sensible manner after tidying up the costumes.I don't know what happened to him during that time, I just feel that it's been a long time since the day I stole the key, and he seems to have changed a little, and he's no longer drunk.

Ding Jianye supported the theater box with his hands, and blocked me between the two boxes. He didn't say a word for a long time.It was already late, the surroundings were quiet, and the light that came in occasionally was extremely dark, revealing an inexplicable weirdness.In the gaps filled with theater boxes, you can occasionally see a statue of a Bodhisattva and yellow cloth strips that are unique to temples.His face was hidden from the light, so I couldn't see his expression clearly. I looked up and down to find his weakness, thinking in my heart that if he dared to attack again, I would strike first and never put myself at a disadvantage again.

Ding Jianye turned his head and scanned the entire temple vigilantly, he hesitated after confirming that there was no one, but there was no further comment.

"If it's okay, please get out of the way, I'm going back." I said calmly.

"Oh don't, I want to apologize to you for what happened last time." Ding Jianye became nervous, but his words went smoothly.I was slightly taken aback, thinking that he was somewhat responsible, but I couldn't see much sincerity in the gloom.

"I see." I said.I have decided to leave here, so I won't take away the love and hate here.The past will eventually pass.Before taking two steps, Ding Jianye grabbed his hand.His hands are very similar to Wang Yugui's, the palms are full of calluses, very rough to the touch.

"I really sincerely apologize to you. I was just playing around. I didn't expect them to do that."

"Playing?" I stopped and looked straight at him.

"No, not all." He denied embarrassingly, but couldn't tell why.I stepped away again, but my hand was still held by him.I gestured with my eyes, and he let go resentfully.

"I admit that I wanted to drive you away at the beginning. Who made you look so defiant? I just wanted to teach you a lesson." He muttered softly, sounding like a complaint, and repeated He raised his hand and said solemnly: "But I really didn't ask them to search you, I just wanted to find an excuse to drive you away."

That's right, maybe the person I should hate is Lin Jiaxi, but it doesn't make sense who is right and who is wrong.I said, "Then your wish will come true soon, because I will be leaving here soon."

"Are you serious?"

"It's true."

This time he didn't grab my hand again, and when I was almost at the door, he shouted: "Where are you going?"

When I didn't answer, he shouted again, "You haven't forgiven me yet."

Instead, I find it a little funny, a person who is about to leave, maybe we will never meet again in life and death, so why bother to stick to the original and not forgive.Then he asked: "I didn't forgive you, is it important?"

"Important! I don't want my life to be stained." He said loudly.I suddenly thought of Jiang Caiwei.stain.That girl who was calm and quiet at the beginning, I also took care of that girl so carefully at the beginning, for fear of staining her innocence a little bit.I endured the pain in the palm of my hand, thinking that I was like a knight guarding the princess, and I couldn't let the princess get along with her.It's just that in the end, she was shy and budding in someone else's arms.

Seeing me stop, Ding Jianye thought I was waiting for him to continue.He rushed to me, as if he had made great determination, swallowed hard, grunted in his throat, and said, "Then I'll tell you my secret, and we'll be even." gone."

He rubbed his hands on his trouser legs a few times, and he hesitated for a long time before saying, "I told you, don't laugh at me."

I am noncommittal.He glanced around the empty temple uneasily again, as if he was afraid that these Buddha statues would hear his words, leaned forward awkwardly, covered his mouth with his hands and approached me, and said: "Actually, when I pee, I will divide into two parts. Three lines."

I subconsciously looked at his lower body, the moonlight outside the door cast a shadow from the mottled tree shadows, and I could vaguely see his loose trousers.

He seemed to have finally relaxed, and his voice became louder, "It's true. Although you made an embarrassment, it's nothing to look at, you still have everything you need. Anyway, everyone will soon forget it. I’m different. I don’t know if it’s a disease. I dare not tell my mother such an embarrassing thing. I also dare not ask others if they have three lines when they pee. I’m only 20 years old, and I’m still very young. You said that if others find out that I have a hidden disease, then I... I have been thinking about how to pee in a straight line every day. Now you are the only one who knows my secret, so let's be even. " He paused, then suddenly approached me, and whispered: "And I really haven't had the first time."

He sighed deeply, the sound finally stopped, the empty hall seemed quiet, only his distressed sigh was left to echo.After a long while, I laughed out loud, and then I became lonely for no reason. At the age of 20, if you think about whether you are still a virgin or not [Male, is there a way to pee in a straight line, what a happy child it would be!and I?I'm not even 20 yet!From the time I met Jiang Caiwei at the age of 14, to the time when I dimly realized my unique gender preferences, all I thought about every day was how to disguise myself, how not to reveal suspicious clues to arouse suspicion, and carefully observe people secretly Do you see the clues, do you think I am a pervert, do every sentence have a special meaning, do they all refer to something else.I wrapped around my chest every day and carefully cleaned out the curly hair on my underarms and lower body, not daring anyone to notice.I guarded it carefully, no one shared it, no one shared it, and the laughter of the people around me seemed to have nothing to do with me.I searched and searched, lost and lost, I wanted to find another similar existence, even if there was only one, it could prove that I was not the only one.I even began to envy the people in that biography, at least they met, knew each other, and fell in love with each other, even if they didn't stay together in the end, they would die and share the same hole, what a blessing.

Ding Jianye looked at me inexplicably, first he smiled, and then he laughed inexplicably.I had the last laugh and tears were streaming down my face.Ding Jianye became embarrassed, his rough laughter gradually stopped, and he looked at me anxiously.Just that look satisfied my instantly inflated vanity.Just that look, I was relieved.It doesn't matter if he makes me look ugly in front of everyone, it doesn't matter if he is suspicious or not, and it doesn't matter how homosexuality is defined in people's eyes.This person, who grew up with care and love, still doesn't know what life means.And I was originally dirty and dirty.

"Okay, I forgive you." I replied.

Ding Jianye grinned and showed a big smile. He wanted to grab my hand but didn't dare. Finally, he stepped back and walked out with a smile. In this temple shrouded in faint moonlight.I looked at the looming Bodhisattva above my head and laughed, wondering if I did the same and forgave myself?

Ding Jianye's figure suddenly came back to me, and asked awkwardly: "Well, I still have a question, can I ask you?"

"Ask." I said.

"How did you recognize that it was Axi who framed you that day?"

"You can tell by looking at the lock. The lock was pried cleanly, and you can't do it without a little effort. Thinking about it again, it seems that you are the only one in the troupe who has a problem with me, and you are usually on such a good relationship. It’s hard for me not to think that’s what you did.” In fact, anyone with a discerning eye could tell that Lin Jiaxi liked Ding Jianye, but Ding Jianye was a fan of the authorities, and I didn’t remind him.

Ding Jianye seemed to realize something, and disappeared into the mottled tree shadows.The night is already very deep.Thin frost hit the shoulders, cool.I hugged my arms tightly.