[Comprehensive] Misfortune

Life gave me what I wanted, and at the same time made me realize that it didn't really make sense.

—— Sartre

I believe we can agree on this point, that in all her life so far, Sakurai Tamako has never lived for a moment without being alone.

There is never a shortage of human beings who care about her and take care of her around her, and there are also outstanding talents who can pull desperate children out of the quagmire, but none of these people is powerful enough to drag Sakurai Yuko out of her quagmire. Gein Sakurai Tamako is the quagmire itself.

Sakurai Tamako realized this not so long ago.Before that, she may have been warned by many people, and even she herself was a little bit aware of it, but if she really realized it, she would have to count down to that day.

That day, Sakata Gintoki made her realize exactly what the so-called "world" refers to, and made her realize that no one could understand her.

Then Sakurai Yuko felt lonely.

Countless people have imposed their own views on Sakurai Tamako, saying that she is everything, so she can be anything.

beast?Can.God?Of course you can.

Only these two things like to be alone.

But Sakurai Yuko is not a beast, let alone a god.

This is the truth.

she is not.

She really isn't.

No one likes to be alone.

When we talk about "Sakurai Tamako's loneliness", we are actually talking about Yoshida Shoyo.

Without Yoshida Shoyo, Sakurai Tamako would never have realized that she was alone.

Don't believe it.A thing, it is there, but you are not aware of it, you can't see it, you can't feel it, then it doesn't exist.

Sakurai Yuko has been living in loneliness, but before she met Yoshida Shoyo, she never discovered this, she didn't understand it at all, she didn't even understand the definition of loneliness, she couldn't feel loneliness, naturally It is also impossible to be tortured by loneliness.

However, Yoshida Shoyo's teachings gave her the possibility of "perceiving that she was alone", and then Yoshida Shoyo's apprentice, Sakata Gintoki, completely punctured the window paper, forcing Sakurai Yuko to face it directly. The truth lay before her eyes—she was alone.

Yoshida Matsuyo told her how terrible "loneliness" is, "loneliness" is almost the original sin, and people live in this world to get rid of this original sin... And now Yuko Sakurai realizes that she is lonely.

Sakurai Yuko's epiphany contains many things, different people and things, emotional entanglement at different times and places, in fact, all of them lead to the same goal by different routes. In the final analysis, there are only two words - loneliness.

If Sakurai Yuko doesn't want to be crushed by loneliness, she must crush others.

Yuko Sakurai decides to crush others.

This point was brought by Yoshida Matsuyo.

This is absolutely true.

If Yoshida Shoyo hadn't told Sakurai Tamako how terrible and pathetic "loneliness" is, Sakurai Tamako wouldn't have suffered so much from realizing that she was "lonely".She once lived well without realizing that she was alone, without suffering any torture.It is conceivable that if Sakurai Yuko does not know that "loneliness" is terrible, even if she suddenly realizes that she is lonely one day, she can live in peace and maybe enjoy loneliness.

Once, when no one told Sakurai Yuko that "killing someone" was a bad thing, she didn't care about a person's life or death at all.She actually likes the actor who has been with her for a long time. The stories he tells always arouse her interest. He has a gifted voice that makes the stories in his mouth very moving... Gaara killed him, He died, and although Sakurai Yuko thought of him from time to time, she didn't feel anything, and she wouldn't feel sad about it.

Then, now, she's starting to agonize over Gaara's death.

Even though Gaara left her behind and stood beside Naruto Uzumaki, Tamako Sakurai was still willing to forgive him because he was dead and she left him first.But if possible, Sakurai Yuko would like Gaara to live, even if she is not by her side, even if she is on the opposite side of her, she still wants Gaara to live.

As long as Gaara is still living in despair, she will never abandon Gaara.

It's not that Gaara needs her, she needs Gaara.

Yuko Sakurai, who was tortured by loneliness, missed Gaara, because she found that Gaara was so desperate that she wanted to come to her to find support... It was because of this that she missed Gaara.

What Sakurai Yuko really desires is not the existence of Gaara itself, but something more tragic than her.

In the dark cave, Sakurai Yuko came to this conclusion.

She herself didn't understand whether she had already subconsciously realized her own misery back then, that's why she doted on Gaara so much.

The memory is clear, she just can't see through it.

……

Is it right? In fact, there is no value of exploration.

Sakurai Yuko looked at the battle that was about to come to an end, thought for a moment, and suddenly said: "Scorpion Lord, stop."

The red sand scorpion looked at Sakurai Yuko with a bit of attention, but couldn't see any emotion from the woman's calm face, so he could only force Kamui back a few jumps and stand in front of Sakurai Yuko.

Kamui will not stop just because the opponent gives up, on the contrary, he is still in high spirits, no matter who is interrupted when he is about to do something, he will not be happy.

So Shenwei rushed towards the red sand scorpion, so Sakurai Yuko reached out to block the red sand scorpion, and stepped forward to stop the two of them.

At this time, even the melon-eating crowd, Afutu, was so frightened that his scalp went numb, and he wanted to stop him but couldn't make a sound.

It was too late to say it, and when Kamui's umbrella was about to fall on Sakurai Yuko's head, there was already an extra sword around his neck.

A short, almost negligible pause.

With a bang, the front end of the umbrella cut into two fell on the tiles with a crisp sound.

The dumb hair on Kamui's head turned around, squinted his eyes at the owner of the sword, and smiled lightly: "Ah~ It seems that there are more than one knight. I really have my eyes on a super beautiful princess."

"It's true that I was the one who killed your father, but why did you come to me? Since I killed you, it proves that Xinghai Fangzhu's strength is nothing more than that. Don't you want to become stronger? Why do you want to Focus on the weak?"

Sakurai Yuko felt that the extremely pure child that Afutu said was not pure, and the real purity should be like Tokugawa Momo.Kamui's performance was inconsistent.

"Ah...why?" Kamui didn't mind that his vitals were being controlled, he tilted his head naturally, and smiled with fists: "Probably because he was very surprised. Although he is a bald idiot, he is not Xinghai. Fangzhu is also known as "the strongest in the universe", which is why I have never doubted you, a weak existence. So are you pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger? What's so good about only letting knights play, the real princess is You should end up fighting the dragon yourself~ Don’t you think so?”

Sakurai Yuko was silent for a while, looked sideways at Xu, and said indifferently, "It's not like pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger. I'm really weak. My teacher can prove this. He punished me all day because of my weak relationship. Woolen cloth."

A dark light flashed in Kamui's eyes, and before he could speak, Sakurai Yuko continued: "That said, but since I killed Xinghai Fangzhu and you don't like me, there is no way to be killed by you Well... if you can do it."

Sakurai Yuko turned around and walked towards the door, Afutu, who had been standing at the door, tightened his heart and subconsciously stepped aside.

Kamui's clear and cheerful voice sounded from behind, "Ah Le? I like you? Your Highness, do you mean the kind of liking like your knights whose souls are blackened?"

Even the soul is dyed black?

Ah……

Sakurai Yuko paused slightly, turned around, her eyelashes trembled slightly, she twitched the corners of her mouth, opened her mouth, but for some reason swallowed back the words that came to her mouth, turned to scan around the crowd, and finally landed on On the red sand scorpion, it seemed as if it was about to cry.

"That kind of thing... doesn't exist."

If there is such a thing as a soul,

Tamako Sakurai,

I……

I am an existence that even the soul hates.

"So what do you want to do?"

With only two people left, the Scarlet Sand Scorpion finally asked this question.

"It's nothing." Sakurai Yuko looked lost in interest, staring at the galaxy outside the window.

Looking at the quiet Sakurai Yuko, the Red Sand Scorpion remembered that look just now.

The Scarlet Sand Scorpion never thought that this woman would show that kind of expression, which is unreasonable.

Although he really didn't want to admit it, after the Scarlet Sand Scorpion ruled out all possibilities, there was only one conclusion that he was very unwilling to agree with.

"Because I killed Gaara?"

When the words came out, not only Sakurai Yuko was taken aback, but even the red sand scorpion himself was a little puzzled.

Why did he say that?You obviously didn't think so just now...why...why did you deliberately point out that he was the murderer of Gaara?What is the motivation?

"No."

Sakurai Yuko still had that lazy attitude, which successfully angered the Red Sand Scorpion.

"Why is that? What's on your mind?"

Sakurai Yuko raised her eyes to look at the red sand scorpion, but found that the other party was staring into her eyes with a very penetrating gaze, as if implying that she would definitely get an answer.

what the hell……

Don't think I'm getting carried away with only your choice...

Obviously...

Cursing secretly, Sakurai Yuko put down her hand holding her chin, and turned to play with the ends of her hair.She looked straight ahead, with shadows in her eyes that the Scarlet Sand Scorpion could not understand.

The red sand scorpion looked at Sakurai Yuko, from Sakurai Yuko's eyes, he saw the indifference and alienation from the world.

For the first time, the red sand scorpion didn't think Sakurai Yuko was beautiful, he only felt that Sakurai Yuko was weird.To be precise...it is eerily beautiful.

He once had similar thoughts, but at that time, this feeling was not so obvious.

"I really like...it doesn't seem to be Gaara."

Sakurai Yuko's voice is very soft, giving people the feeling that she is talking to herself, and in fact she is indeed talking to herself.When the audience means nothing to her, whatever she says is speaking to herself.

"Gaara is an existence that is more miserable than me...Although I said so, I also know that this is an illusion. The fact is that Gaara is very desperate, and the despair is so desperate that it finds me, so I have In order to look down on his qualifications. It is he himself who lowered his personality, and the person at the bottom of the abyss is actually me."

"I... am really a bad guy out and out."

"I thought I could accept this, I thought it was no big deal here, but I was wrong. To this day..." Yuko Sakurai pursed her lips, "It doesn't matter whether it's a person or a country. ...I don't care if I'm even rejected and hated by everyone..."

Sakurai Yuko looked at the red sand scorpion, and the doubt in her eyes was clearly presented in front of the red sand scorpion.

"Hey... Lord Scorpion, did I do something unforgivable to the sky? Did I do something excessive to the land? Is it going to resent me for soaking in its blood? Even if the answer is this... Did I do something bad to him? He died before I did it, he made me do it, he taught me to do it, he was the one I made a deal with! What... Is it okay to use me and hate me at the same time? Really? Is this kind of thing okay in the human race?"

As soon as the words fell, Sakurai Yuko stood up suddenly, and she took a deep breath, "Well... since it happened, it is probably okay. As long as you accept this, it is not a big deal, as long as Just accept that..."

Sakurai Yuko who said this walked away from the sight of the red sand scorpion, he doubted whether what Sakurai Yuko said was sincere.

The red sand scorpion doubts whether Sakurai Yuko has ever been sincere.