After the rain

Cover, covered in hot sweat after a while.

He went back to his room to change his clothes, and saw that the desk was a bit messy, with traces of being turned over, the chair even ran to the bookcase, and two dust-proof boxes that were rickety were discarded on the floor.

Song Qikun stopped taking off his coat, and his eyes moved to the top shelf of the bookcase—the place where the orange cat doll was originally placed was empty.

He was short of breath, then quickly walked out of the room, found Wang Zhiyun who was frying squid rings in the kitchen, and said anxiously: "Mom, have you ever entered my room? My two orange cat dolls are gone!"

"No." Wang Zhiyun wiped his hands on the apron, and asked in surprise, "Why did it disappear?"

Song Qikun's eyebrows were twisted into a knot: "I don't know, I..."

Before he finished speaking, a burst of heart-piercing crying suddenly broke out in the living room.

Wang Zhiyun quickly turned off the stove, went out to check the situation: "What's wrong?"

The two children had a physical conflict because they were fighting for the toy. The little girl who couldn't grab the boy was crying with her head up, her ponytails collapsed on one side, and she was holding a part of the toy in her hand.

The parents of both sides have already stood beside their children, coaxing and educating.

Wang Zhiyun saw the toy's appearance clearly, felt a "thump" in his heart, and turned his head in panic.

Song Qikun stood a few steps behind her, his face was as pale as paper, and he stared blankly at his red eyes, as if his soul had been sucked away.

Wang Zhiyun's heart tightened instantly, and he said with difficulty: "Kun'er..."

The little girl was sobbing in her father's arms. She was taught by her mother to let the boy holding her sister hold back her tears. No matter how much others persuaded her, she refused to bow her head and apologize. Angrily and aggrieved, she threw the broken toy on the ground and shouted: "It's just a rotten doll! I don't care for it!"

After speaking, he burst into tears.

The scene was chaotic and embarrassing, everyone was trying to coax the child well, and the "rotten doll" was taken for granted as a tool, and was held and beaten repeatedly.

Just as Wang Zhiyun was about to step forward to stop her, Song Qikun walked over to her one step ahead and reached out to grab the doll that fell to the ground again.

One of the orange cat's hind legs was ripped off along with its tail, and a crack appeared where the head meets the torso.

Just like his increasingly shattered expectations.

"Stop crying," he said.

The child was still crying.

"I said don't cry!" Song Qikun lost his temper, and the sudden roar made the child tremble in fright, and the adults also fell silent, looking at him in surprise.

"Where did you get this thing?" Song Qikun stared into the boy's eyes, lowered his volume, and suppressed his anger: "Where's the younger one?"

The air was quiet for a moment, another child stretched out her hand timidly, and the No. 63 orange cat doll lay on her palm.

Song Qikun took it over for inspection, and it was intact.

"Hasn't anyone taught you that you can't touch other people's things without permission?" His expression was not calm, and he picked up the broken doll at the little girl's feet, and said in a cold voice, "Don't come to my house again, I hate being uneducated child."

After finishing speaking, Song Qikun bypassed everyone and returned to the room, came out again after a while, locked the door, and walked towards the entrance.

"Kun'er!" Wang Zhiyun took two steps to catch up, "Where are you going?"

Song Qikun didn't answer, the door was closed harder than usual.

He ran two blocks, and finally found the tools for making wool felt dolls in a boutique in a department store.

It was getting late, and the setting sun left only a faint yellow line.The grass and trees are sparse, and it is another year of late autumn in the world.

The seasons are endless, and the wait for many people seems to never end.

When Song Qikun returned home, all the guests had already left.

"Where have you been? You didn't answer the phone!" Wang Zhiyun was so worried that he couldn't help but blame him.

"I went to buy some things, but I didn't have my mobile phone." Song Qikun was exhausted physically and mentally.

There was no expression on his face, and the lowered eyebrows and eyes concealed all emotions, and his voice was very soft: "I'm sorry for embarrassing you today."

"What are you talking about? It's because they did something wrong. Your father and I are on your side."

Song Qikun gave a "hmm" and said, "I don't have an appetite, so you can have dinner."

Wang Zhiyun clenched her fingers tightly: "But..."

"Ayun." Song Ye cut her off and said softly, "Give him some time."

Exactly how much Song Qikun cared about those two orange cat dolls, and why they cared so much, the couple couldn't be more clear.

Wang Zhiyun felt uncomfortable, his eyes turned red, and he complained: "You old Song family members, why are you so stubborn."

It's been two and a half years, and I still can't forget it.

Song Qikun could no longer remember how to poke wool felt, so he could only search for instructional videos on the Internet. He started from the most basic and practiced until late at night.

His gaze swept across the messy failed products on the table, and finally fixed on the broken orange cat doll. The more he looked at it, the more he couldn't breathe.

The stomach twitched violently, and Song Qikun broke out in a cold sweat from the pain. He curled up to barely feel better.

He lowered his head against the table, tears fell one by one, and begged with sobs: "Baby...you teach me one more time, I promise I won't forget it."

No one responded, it was just talking to himself.

Song Qikun was so tired that he fell asleep drowsily, and his dreams were not peaceful.

He dreamed of the scene where he learned how to make dolls with Shen Yan. Shen Yan demonstrated while explaining, but there was only lip movement but no sound.

Song Qikun stretched out his fingers cautiously, making sure he could touch Shen Yan, and then leaned over to ask for a one-way hug.

He knew it was a dream.

He has already forgotten Shen Yan's voice, the feeling of holding hands and hugging him, and maybe one day he will no longer even remember his appearance.

There is only one warm name left, engraved into his heart like a brand, becoming the love of his life.

At five o'clock in the morning, Song Qikun got up to boil hot water for drinking.

The light was on in the living room, and Wang Zhiyun was leaning on the sofa with a thin blanket over her body.

She turned her head when she heard the noise, her face was full of tiredness, her eyes were bloodshot, it looked like she hadn't slept all night.

Song Qikun's voice was hoarse: "Mom?"

"Get up, I'll make you breakfast." Wang Zhiyun remembered that he didn't eat anything last night.

"No, I don't want to eat it yet." Song Qikun went to boil the water first, then came back and sat beside her, apologizing, "I'm sorry for making you worry."

Wang Zhiyun shook his head and asked him, "Has your doll been repaired?"

Song Qikun was stunned, not sure what she meant: "No."

"Mom has a colleague who is very good at making this, shall we show her?" Wang Zhiyun's tone was as gentle as his eyes.

Song Qikun had a sore nose and said in a low voice, "It can't be repaired."

It's not just the dolls that are damaged.

Wang Zhiyun asked: "Did Shen Yan do it?"

Song Qikun was stunned, and couldn't believe that she would take the initiative to mention Shen Yan, and her mood was so peaceful, "We... I did it with him."

"very beautiful."

"Mom, you..." Song Qikun hesitated to speak.

"Are you blaming me?" Wang Zhiyun asked suddenly.

Song Qikun understood what she was referring to in an instant, lowered his eyes to avoid her gaze, and remained silent for a long time before answering: "I complained."

"I think so too." Wang Zhiyun smiled wryly, looked at his expression carefully, and sighed softly: "Since Shen Yan left, when I look at you, I always think of Xinyang."

Very unfamiliar name, Song Qikun was puzzled: "Who?"

"Your uncle, Wang Xinyang." Wang Zhiyun fell into memory, his eyes gradually became cloudy, "He was with a boy at the same level when he first entered university, and the relationship between the two was very good, and they were passionately in love. At that time, he also made an unswerving oath until death. Later, the relationship was exposed, and the family members opposed it, and only I supported him."

"Your grandfather almost broke his leg and asked him to choose between family and love. He chose love and cut off contact with his parents since then."

"At that time, I didn't know how bumpy the road was. I only knew that loving someone had nothing to do with gender. I wanted him to be happy, so I encouraged him to love bravely."

"I thought he could be happy."

But the boy's mother was extremely selfish. When she found out that her son was in love with the same sex, she went directly to the school. She pointed at Wang Xinyang's nose and said a lot of nasty things in public. She insisted that Wang Xinyang was shameless and forced her child to go astray.

Wang Xinyang was dismissed by the school, his boyfriend disappeared, and his former friends abandoned him.He broke with his parents and didn't dare to let his sister see his embarrassment and ugliness, so he fled to a strange city alone, hiding in a small rented house and struggling to survive.

He is homeless.

"He didn't have a lot of money, and after spending it all, he drank water to satisfy his hunger, and finally fainted from hunger in the rental house. The landlord called the police. When I saw him...he was so thin that he was only fifty pounds. The scars of self-mutilation..."

Like a leaf that has been eaten away, its veins are highlighted, and it is no longer alive.

Wang Zhiyun burst into tears, every tear was full of sorrow, and filled the whole space after being broken: "He failed to cheer up, rumors and illness overwhelmed him, I saw him with my own eyes..."

Spreading his arms to embrace the wind, he resolutely ran to the end of his life and gained relief.

Blood splashed out, it was the only edge left of him.

That year, he was only 19 years old.

Wang Zhiyun blamed himself for all the faults and blamed himself every day. Why did he encourage him to love bravely in the first place?Why didn't he hear the news earlier and stay by his side when the accident happened?Why didn't he regain hope later?

She hated her blindness and ignorance, she made wrong decisions from the beginning, and she hated her powerlessness even more. In the end, she couldn't do anything well and could only watch him suffer.

Love has nothing to do with gender, but after all, it is scary.

she was