After the rain

I had to swallow my saliva, my heart trembled, "Xiaobao, I..."

Shen Yan got up and turned on the bedside lamp, which illuminated a corner with soft and warm light. He unbuttoned his pajamas unhurriedly, his face was hidden between light and dark, his expression was difficult to distinguish, "What do you call me?"

"..." Song Qikun gritted his teeth, turned over and overwhelmed him, cupped his face and kissed eagerly, his lips pressed together, his voice hoarse a few degrees, "Baby."

Shen Yan wrapped his arms around his neck, closed his eyes and kissed back, "Yes."

Song Qikun dared to touch the people under him, exploring the known and unknown areas inch by inch, but when he reached the fortress, he suddenly stopped, his heart fell to the bottom of the valley, and his mind fell into silence.

He was in pain, but Shen Yan didn't respond.

The atmosphere fell into a strange silence, Shen Yan covered his eyes with the back of his hand, and explained in a hoarse voice: "When I was sick, the medicines I took had many side effects."

It's just one of those things that didn't feel right before, but now it's embarrassing.

"Sorry," he said.

34. Baby

Song Qikun moved his Adam's apple with difficulty, trying to suppress the stuffy feeling that rushed to his throat, but he couldn't relieve it at all, and the blockage was still uncomfortable.

He held Shen Yan's hand covering his eyes, kissed the inside of the wrist, palm and fingertips in sequence, breathing heavily and slowly, and coaxed softly, "It's okay, it's okay."

Shen Yan withdrew his hand, his black eyes were covered with water.

"Don't cry." Song Qikun's heart tightened, and he touched his still red lower eyelid with his fingertips.

Shen Yan pursed her lips, looking a little aggrieved.

Song Qikun held back an untimely smile, helped him button up, turned over in his arms, pressed him against his neck, rubbed his chin against the soft hair, "Go to sleep."

Shen Yan stretched his legs uncomfortably, "You...what should I do?"

"Leave it alone."

Song Qikun thought to himself: It will naturally bow its head after the excitement period, if it is really not good, it will go to the bathroom to deal with it after you fall asleep.

However, Shen Yan said softly, "I'll help you."

There was about a second difference between this sentence and the corresponding action. Song Qikun couldn't stop him, his breathing rhythm suddenly became chaotic, and then suddenly increased, his back arched, half of his face was close to Shen Yan's shoulder, he opened his mouth to bite a small piece of fabric, and his teeth lined up. Interleaved grind.

for a long time.

Shen Yan withdrew his hand.

Song Qikun covered his eyes and nose with a slap, hurriedly pulled out a few pieces of paper from the bedside table, his face was red like a monkey's ass, his messy breathing had not yet calmed down, and his voice was hoarse: "Don't move."

Shen Yan raised his arms obediently.

The evidence of shame can be wiped away, but the smell can't go away. Song Qikun's heart is broken, and he wants to hold this hand until he grows old.

Shen Yan asked considerately, "Do you want to change your pants?"

The fig leaf was completely removed, Song Qikun wanted to find a crack in the ground to get in, and said in a muffled voice, "Yes."

After such a commotion, the two of them couldn't fall asleep anymore, especially Shen Yan, who turned over every few minutes, turned over to rub Song Qikun's shoulder, turned over to hug the milk tea, touched and scratched, extremely uneasy.

After doing this five or six times, he couldn't help but reach for the phone on the bedside table, but Song Qikun snatched it away just as he turned on the screen and put it farther away.

I didn't see the time clearly.

"Do you want more eyes?" Song Qikun pulled back his hand, tucked in the quilt, hugged him from behind, and lowered his voice, "Aren't you used to sleeping with others?"

"No, not sleepy yet." Shen Yan pinched his fingers and asked, "Are you sleepy?"

"A bit."

"Then you sleep, I will not move."

Song Qikun yawned lazily, rubbed the physical tears overflowing from the corners of his eyes on his shoulders, and asked softly, seemingly inadvertently: "You often can't sleep at night?"

Shen Yan paused for breath, staring at the dark space like thick ink, forgot to blink for a moment, "Well, before."

Song Qikun let out a soft voice, and gradually guided him to tell the secret hidden in his heart, "Why can't I sleep?"

The air was silent for a few seconds.

"Don't dare to sleep." Shen Yan turned over again, his movements were a little stiff, his body moved down slightly, his cheek was pressed against the heart of the person beside him, and his arms were tightly wrapped around his back, as if seeking protection and strength, "will dream."

Song Qikun held the back of his head and stroked him gently, "Nightmare?"

"Well... At first, I always dreamed about the scene when my parents passed away. It was very real. It was like going back in time. I went back to the day and watched them stop breathing in front of me again and again, but I did everything. No, it’s very painful, I dare not sleep, my body can’t bear it after a long time, and I have to take medicine to force sleep, my mind is disturbed, and I have messy dreams.”

The winding road that was broken in the middle, the cliff bottom full of abandoned vehicles, the cramped space mixed with the smell of gasoline and blood, the ambulance, the hospital, and the cold corridor that seemed to have no end, he ran after the ambulance stretcher, how did he run? He couldn't even catch up, and suddenly there was a sharp pain in his ankle, and he fell in embarrassment, so he couldn't catch up again.

The broken bones should have been poured into the heart through the backflow of blood, otherwise his chest wouldn't be so painful. He couldn't breathe, his ears were buzzing, and the sound of hurried and chaotic footsteps came from all directions. Swallow him mercilessly.

The voice has thus been transformed into substance, stepping on the body one after another, crushing the flesh and joints, everyone around is talking, but the content is unclear.

He hugged his head in pain and curled up into a ball. He was horrified to find that his body, which had grown up with great difficulty, was gradually shrinking, and he turned back to his weak and helpless appearance. , the stomach couldn't digest such desperate pain, it kept wriggling and wriggling, as if it wanted to disintegrate his whole body from the inside out.

The grotesque dreams are like a patchwork movie clip playing at double speed. The camera moves away and then zooms in, interpreting his festering life upside down. The pain rooted in his soul is invisible, and he accepts it over and over again in his dreams. Endless delays.

"Later, I saw a psychiatrist for two years and took a lot of various therapeutic drugs. Instead, I stopped dreaming, but it was difficult to fall asleep."

Shen Yan closed his eyes and listened carefully to Song Qikun's heartbeat. The slightly hot body temperature, the unique smell belonging to another person, and the firm embrace all made him feel at ease, and his tense limbs gradually relaxed. "I can fall asleep without taking medicine recently. So happy tonight was exceptional."

Song Qikun pursed his lips and remained silent, his expression blending with the dark night.

The previous fatal feeling of suffocation came back, as if something had strangled his throat, and the sharp teeth pierced his skin. When he breathed, there was a smell of fishy sweetness, and his heart ached.

He originally wanted to ask Shen Yan a lot of questions, to peel off this man's hard shell to touch the softest inside, to know about his past that had nothing to do with him, to know everything about him, but at this moment, he couldn't do it again. Keep asking.

Because every question is forcing Shen Yan to reveal his scars.

Being strangled by the constantly tightened arms, Shen Yan didn't complain or struggle, but quietly nestled in his arms, and waited for the slightly fluctuating emotions to calm down completely, before saying: "I'm fine, I'm fine already. .”

Song Qikun remained silent, as if he had lost the ability to speak, he just hugged him tightly.

Something should be said, he thought.

But nothing can be said.

His thoughts were like a wild horse running wild, breaking through the cage of reason, and he fell into the gray state of imagination, unable to extricate himself.

"Song Qikun."

A voice came from his chest, and the chaotic scene in front of him suddenly shattered. He heard Shen Yan's extremely serious request, "When I pass the No.1 exam, I want that treasure box. You must keep your promise and never go back on your word."

"Yeah." Song Qikun finally regained his senses, and at the same time realized that he was holding him too tightly, so he quickly let go, and promised him in a muffled voice, "I'll wait for you, I promise."

Shen Yan smiled silently, wrapped his arms around his neck and moved up, his lips passed through the collarbone, Adam's apple, chin and ear roots, and finally arrived at the same soft destination, lingered gently for 2 minutes, breathing slightly chaotically, "Or Can't sleep, you sing to me."

Song Qikun just wanted to kiss him, "You said I sing badly."

Shen Yan remembered what Rou Rou said, which was indeed confirmed a few hours ago, and couldn't help laughing.

Song Qikun was ashamed and gagged him again.

Shen Yan backed away: "Then I'll sing for you."

Song Qikun succeeded in catching up: "I don't listen."

The two were messing about with the quilt covered, and almost squeezed the milk tea out of the bed. It took a long time for the movement to subside, and the frequency of the two breaths gradually became the same.

Shen Yan's original alarm clock was set at six o'clock, and it was set back an hour during the sports meeting.

At seven o'clock, the cell phone beside the bed vibrated on time. He stretched out his hand to touch it for a long time, but he couldn't turn it off after pressing the power button several times. He picked it up and squinted in wonder, and found that it was Song Qikun's cell phone .

I touched the side with my hand again, and found another mobile phone, and finally I was able to turn off the alarm that disturbed my sleep.

"What time is it?" Song Qikun was woken up, and pulled him into his arms with his eyes closed, his sleepy voice hoarse and lazy.

"Seven o'clock."

"Well... sleep a little longer."

The relay race doesn't start until nine o'clock, so you can go later.

It felt like a few minutes had passed between half-dream and half-awake, and it was almost eight o'clock when I opened my eyes again.

The place next to him was empty, and the bed was still a little warm, so he probably hadn't woken up for long.

Song Qikun stared at the milk tea sleeping soundly on his chest for 2 minutes, his dazed and dull thoughts finally became clearer.

There were two missed calls and several WeChat messages on the phone, all from Wang Zhiyun, and each message asked about Shen Yan's physical condition.

He slept late last night and dreamed all night. The quality of his sleep was extremely poor. He drooped his eyelids and yawned non-stop. He turned over while holding milk tea in his arms. Put it aside, close your eyes and wait another five minutes