bad derailment

This scene was so absurd as if I was in a dream. I couldn't think about it. I opened my lips and tried a few times before I made a trembling voice: "Why are you here?"

Chen Feng stared at me, "I want to come and see you."

The voice fell in a deep voice, and there were echoes in the empty corridor.

My thoughts were already in a mess the moment I saw Feng Chen.All the content he wanted to answer turned into shortness of breath, and he didn't know how to react other than looking at him in front of him in a daze.

Chen Feng was the first to break the silence: "Where did you go just now?"

"I..." I subconsciously wanted to answer, and then suddenly stopped, "Why should I tell you?"

The corners of Chen Feng's lips were tightly pursed, and he tried his best to hide his mood, but after a while, there was a hint of self-deprecation.He lowered his head and rubbed his hair, a little irritable and at a loss, stopped and pressed his temples, and said in a hoarse voice: "I...I just want to ask you, there is no other meaning."

This kind of explanation and reunion seemed weird and ridiculous. I took a few deep breaths before I calmed down the tone of my voice: "Is that car below yours?"

He didn't say a word, and his dark pupils were stained with depression at this moment.

I said again: "The car parked near the company some time ago is also yours, right?"

Chen Feng finally uttered a word: "Yes."

"Are you following me?"

Maybe it was because of the wind blowing all the way, every time I took a deep breath, I could freeze my lungs, and even this question that didn't need an answer couldn't stop the chills.

Chen Feng wanted to refute for himself, but the fist at his side loosened and tightened, and he didn't say any grandiose reasons for a long time.He repeated the opening sentence in a low voice: "I just wanted to see you."

Like a big dog who has been abandoned and then found his way home, after saying this, he raised his wet eyes and looked at me.

I want him to stop putting on such a pitiful look, heavy words are on the verge of coming out of his mouth, ups and downs for a long time, and finally defeated by Teng Teng's soft heart.

Facing Chen Feng, I always seem to be unable to control the worst emotions in my heart. It seems that I am used to venting, and in the end I have to forget how to not hurt others.

"Have you finished it?" I asked after a long silence.

A flash of panic flashed across Chen Feng's eyes, and he stood up abruptly. After walking towards me, he didn't dare to get too close. Before he could speak, his eyes began to turn red, "Are you going to drive me away now? Lin Yao, I'll wait." You sat here for four hours and were surrounded by others like a fool, I almost thought you wouldn't come back tonight, I thought you were with..."

"Chen Feng, we've already broken up," I interrupted him forcefully, something stuck in my throat and it hurt, "I won't drive you away, you can sit as long as you want, anyway, it's not me Let you wait here."

I bent down to pick up the dropped key, and a mist flooded my eyes for a moment, enduring the embarrassment of being seen by Chen Feng, I turned around and opened the door in a hurry.The moment I walked in, there was a sound of footsteps behind me, Chen Feng reached out his hand against the door frame before me, and opened a crack, his knuckles turned white.

"Lin Yao, why are you so cruel? I really can't take it anymore, you won."

Chen Feng almost gritted his teeth and said these words, his eyes were mixed with struggle and self-mockery, and with a hoarse voice, he pierced into my chest.

"I don't want to break up at all. I said those words when you pushed me to a dead end. I mentioned the breakup, but did you hesitate for a second when you nodded? I even told myself that as long as You can chase me out and find me, as long as you say something bad, I can immediately take back the words of breaking up. Do you know how long I waited downstairs in the hotel that day? You didn't do anything for the whole day. "

I tried my best to close the door, and I felt a tearing pain in my palm and my heart, "Didn't you say that you want to go back to pack your luggage, and you can't wait to move out? I clearly said that I don't need to be so fast, but in the end I refused Isn't it you?"

"Could it be that I'm going to post it eagerly to ask you to forgive me the second I finished talking about breaking up?" Chen Feng twitched the corners of his mouth, smiling ugly and stinging, "Lin Yao, I don't want anything anymore, even that Self-esteem can also be lost. I just love you, but I just can't help being cheap. I'm already like this, why don't you still want to look back at me?"

His every word was like weeping blood, and he almost wanted to hold his whole heart in front of my eyes.If I wanted to, I might be able to cut open it and see what was in it.

But with Chen Feng, the answer has long since lost its suspense.

"Why did you say these words until now?" I met his eyes, my heart was so weak that I couldn't breathe, "Don't you think it's a little too late?"

Chen Feng clasped the door frame tightly and refused to relax for a moment, as if he was afraid that I would close the door while he was not paying attention, and murmured: "It's not too late, it's not too late, I can wait for you until you agree. Anyway, there have been so many This time, it’s not bad for the last time, is it?”

The light in his eyes was full of hope, and he looked over flickeringly, trying to lock me into my mind completely.I breathed silently, and finally felt a belated dull pain in my slack palm.The voice-activated lights in the corridor dimmed and then turned on again, bringing an inaudible voice.

"I'm already with someone else."

Chen Feng stared at me, as if he had expected it, and asked hoarsely, "Is it Gu Mingsheng?"

I glanced away sourly, and the suppressed voice seemed not to belong to me: "No, I just want to tell you that we are over. You have a good job now, and you have solved the knot with your parents. When I was together, I was better than countless times. I thought you were delaying me in this relationship, but now it seems that we are both delaying each other. Chen Feng, you have to see clearly, being with me will only make you worse than you are now. It's more painful. You can find anyone, don't come to me again."

Every word that came out of my mouth stabbed in my heart.When I said the last sentence, I was almost unable to utter a complete sentence. Chen Feng kept shaking his head, as if he was really desperate, with pleading and trembling that made people palpitate.

"Xiao Yao, I can wait. Don't drive me away this time, okay?" He said hoarsely, "Just treat it as if it was all my fault. No matter how you drive me away, I won't leave. .I just want you and no one else."

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I couldn't help accentuating my tone, clamoring in my heart not to continue, but the words poured out uncontrollably: "You can still live well without me, with others, or with Tang Manyao. You have so many choices, why do you have to Hold on to me?"

Why do you force me like this?Make me choose after it's all over?

I actually want to ask him more.

In the past it was Chen Feng and Jiang Qiushi, and now it is still Jiang Qiushi and Chen Feng.It seems to have changed, and it seems not to have changed at all.This entanglement has been a knot from the beginning, and there is no other way but to cut it off.

I can't be with Chen Feng, and I can't make mistakes again and again.

I can't lose Jiang Qiushi, and I can't bear the pain I once got.

I can only keep admonishing myself and hypnotizing myself like this.

"Tang..." Chen Feng seemed to be stunned for a moment, and the light in his eyes lit up, "Are you jealous?"

"No." I dismissed quickly.

But Chen Feng couldn't hear it. He seemed to hold on to that little hope, and said to himself: "She and I are just ordinary colleagues. Her father and my father knew each other. After I joined the company, I was taken care of by the elders." I passed her a few times. Later she was hospitalized and she wanted to come by herself. I said many times that I don’t need it, but she..."

"So you would rather let an ordinary colleague drive me away than see me?" These explanations about Tang Manyao were inexplicably harsh, and I couldn't calm down anymore, and I complained sarcastically, "Obviously you did all these things yourself Come out, why do I have to agree to you if I want to ask for peace now?"

"What do you mean driving you away?"

Chen Feng looked at me puzzled and wronged, his eyes were red, "When did I not want to see you?"

I thought he was still pretending to be stupid, so he said almost amusedly, "When I went to the hospital to look for you that day, it wasn't you who asked Tang Manyao to bring me a message? Didn't you tell me not to bother you anymore, and refused to meet?"

"Xiao Yao, I never asked her to bring you a message."

He was in a daze for a moment, his voice trembling uncontrollably, not sure, asked cautiously in a low voice: "You came to the hospital...to find me?"

At this moment, I deeply met Chen Feng's unfaltering eyes, and fell into an unspeakable silence and absent-mindedness.

It seems that what was originally thought to be a fact is shattering a little bit, revealing the real inner shell.

"...What the hell is going on?" I asked awkwardly.

"I only know that after waking up in the hospital, I sent you a text message, which contained the address and ward number."

Chen Feng's lips moved slightly, and every word fell to his ears.

"But until I was discharged from the hospital, I didn't wait for you to come."

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Happy Mid-Autumn Festival