bad derailment

This sudden news disturbed my mood, with countless regrets and urgency pouring out, I pressed the keyboard with trembling fingers, and sent out a line of words.

: What did you withdraw?

One second, two seconds.

The news was like a stone sinking into the ocean, without a sound, and the other end lost the audio again.

"What's wrong?" Ren Han asked in a low voice.

"fine."

I raised my head and let go of my tensed fingertips, only to find that my voice was hoarse, and after trying several times to speak, I finally made a voice as smooth as possible: "Ren Han, do you know which hospital Chen Feng is staying in now? Is it? I need to find him for something. "

This question came out of the blue and out of place, I knew it well, but I couldn't help but say it.

Ren Han's face froze for a moment, and was soon overwhelmed by another emotion, and he calmly said: "Let me help you ask."

"sorry to bother you."

I didn't have the heart to express my apologies, and the palm of my hand gripping the phone turned cold.

Why did Chen Feng send a message suddenly?Withdraw suddenly?

What happened?Still have something to say to me.

These thoughts climbed up my mind densely, gradually entangled me until I couldn't breathe.Ren Han finally got the address from other colleagues, which is just half an hour's drive from here.

He pursed his lips, and said a little stiffly: "Are you going to go there now?"

I read the address silently in my heart, and while getting up, I replied: "Well, we will talk about other things next time, I have to go now."

"..."

Holding the cup, Ren Han seemed to use a lot of strength in his palms. When I looked over, he forced a smile, "Okay, be careful on the road."

I didn't have time to think about it, so I took a taxi and reported the address of the hospital.The scenery on the roadside whizzed past the window, and along with the clips about Chen Feng flooded into my mind frame by frame.

Suddenly, a strange thought came into the mix—what did Ren Han want to say just now?

I stopped, trying to recall his expression just now and what he said after being interrupted, but the scenery that was skipped by this thought was forgotten in the back of my mind in an instant.

At any time of the day, the hospital will not be patronized by deserted.

The moment I stepped into the hall, I became inexplicably calm, and found the ward area where Feng Chen was located through the help of the nurse and the sign.

The smell of disinfectant permeates the corridor, and the cold white floor tiles from the window to the ward seem to lead endlessly to an unknown direction.I inquired about Chen Feng's room number, took out my mobile phone and sent him three words: I'm here.

I know that there is a high probability that Chen Feng will not reply, but I still have the last chance of luck.

The ward in the afternoon was extraordinarily quiet, and the wall clock in the corridor passed the time silently.When I approached the door with the number plate written on it, I subconsciously slowed down and lowered my voice, holding my breath and pressing on the cold metal handle.

"Then I'll go first, you have a good rest."

The gentle female voice came to my ears vaguely through a wall. Before I could react, the door in front of me was pushed open from the inside, and I took two steps back unexpectedly.

"what......"

Tang Manyao's lips parted in surprise, and she involuntarily let out a short syllable.

I looked at her speechlessly, and when she came back to her senses, I hurriedly pulled the door behind me, blocking the only entrance deliberately and hastily.

There was a sound of locking, and the corridor fell into an unspeakable silence.

"he......"

"Are you here to find Feng Chen?"

Tang Manyao spoke softly, interrupting my difficult voice.

Compared with the helplessness of the last time we met, this time she looked extraordinarily calm and decisive.In just a short moment, the astonishment just now was completely invisible on his face.

I don't know what kind of mood I should face her, and let out a moderate 'um'.

"Chen Feng has already fallen asleep after taking the medicine, so don't bother him for the time being." She glanced at me, lowered her head and glanced away, "Let's go talk about something else."

My heart was beating weakly across my chest, whether it was more accidental or numb, or maybe both.This closed door tightly blocked my way, as if to isolate everything.

The metal handle was hot in the palm of my hand, I finally lowered my arms silently, and slowly followed Tang Manyao's pace.

"How is he now?"

"The doctor said there was nothing serious, but his mental state was still not very good. He could have been discharged from the hospital. It was Chen Feng who had to persevere."

When I heard that Chen Feng was in good health, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief, but my relieved heart immediately lifted up with Tang Manyao's next sentence.

"Is he not in a good mental state now?"

Tang Manyao had no superfluous expression on her face, she looked at me with a slight alienation, "You were also there that day, Chen Feng's emotional instability was not entirely due to alcohol, he had been suppressed for a long time before that, and alcohol only magnified his mood. The grievances that have always existed in my heart exploded when I saw you."

She made no effort to hide the blatant accusations she pointed towards me in her words, and said the most indifferent words with a soft and beautiful voice.I didn't dare to look her in the eyes, I lowered my head and made a sound in embarrassment.

"Can I go in and have a look at him? Maybe when he wakes up."

"Mr. Lin," Tang Manyao called out my name, maybe she was not sure whether she should call me that way, and said firmly after the hesitation dissipated, "Although I don't know exactly what happened between you and Feng Chen, from that day's The matter and his few words, I can already guess a general idea. Chen Feng's current appearance has something to do with what happened in the past, and it has more to do with you. If you are really doing it for his own good, then don't try to destroy his stability. The mood is down."

I was short of breath, and I couldn't even maintain the most basic calmness in front of outsiders, "I know those things are my fault, I just want to go in and see Feng Chen, apologize to him, and never do anything else to make him lose control of his emotions And he sent me a message this morning, and I thought...I think he must have something to say to me."

"I accidentally sent the message in the morning by mistake."

Tang Manyao interrupted me, and every word he uttered quickly was cruelly cutting off my last sliver of hope.

"At that time, Chen Feng was hanging salt water and entrusted me to use his mobile phone to send a message. I accidentally clicked on the wrong chat box, and immediately retracted it after sending it."

I froze in place, never thinking that the truth that I had been entangled with all the way would be so ridiculous and absurd.Tang Manyao also seemed to be unbearable, looking down at the reflective floor tiles of the hospital, and slowing down her voice: "You probably don't know, Chen Feng can only rely on medicine to barely fall asleep every night. The doctor said that he has been in this state for a long time. For a period of time, no one knows at what moment his nerves will collapse, and then he can no longer support it."

This sentence seems to have gradually overlapped with a voice many years ago in my head - in the cold hospital, the machine made a steady beeping sound, the doctor shook his head when talking about Chen Feng, and said, "We tried our best" .

Tang Manyao brushed her hair behind her ears, a trace of bitterness appeared on her beautiful face, "His condition is very bad, I really can't let him go. Although I have misunderstood many things, the ambiguity I thought was just It was my wishful thinking, but luckily I discovered it in time and didn't get too deep, so when Chen Feng's condition starts to improve, I won't come back."

I opened my lips to try to comfort the sad Tang Manyao, but I couldn't make any sound in the silence.This weak-looking girl was stronger than I imagined. She quickly faded the redness from the corners of her eyes and met my gaze.

"Mr. Lin, I didn't say this to blame you. I can also see that you are worried about Chen Feng's health. But you must know that this is not a question of whether to disturb, but as long as you appear there, you will The most unstable factor for Chen Feng."

Her words came to my ears, and every sound was painful.

"If you're really doing it for his own good, then don't go to see him. Wait for a while, and then talk about it when Chen Feng recovers completely, okay?"

Tang Manyao looked at me complicatedly, and said these words almost sincerely.

There was a tingling pain from the palm being pressed by the nails, but it was not worth one ten thousandth of the suffocation in the heart.Her words blocked all my options, and I didn't even understand at first, did it come from her, or Chen Feng's idea?

No matter which answer it is, I can only make a difficult 'yes' from my throat.

The distance between me and Chen Feng is no longer a door, a few steps, from the few steps he took back when he faced me, there is no possibility of starting again.

Gu Mingsheng said, my feelings for Chen Feng were only caused by selfishness after losing him.

But is this really the case?

Every memory in the hospital is like a tragedy that cannot be recalled.I pressed the elevator, my whole heart was soaked in the impenetrable muddy water, and I screamed silently.

The elevator opened to both sides with a ding, I collected my mood, took a step forward, and then stayed in place.

The nurse pushed the patient in the wheelchair out first, leaving space for the man standing behind.People around me passed me and walked into the elevator. I was pressed the pause button, and my limbs drooped in place, looking at Jiang Qiushi at the other end in the air.

He was wearing a light-colored shirt, buttoned up to the top of his neck, showing off his porcelain-white neck.He is tall and straight, but a little thinner than before. He is holding a plastic bag with the hospital logo in his right hand, and the palm of his left hand is wrapped in gauze, with only a few knuckles exposed.

His gaze under the lens shattered his composure in an instant, and after a freeze, he regained his composure little by little.

The elevator door is about to close, trying to cut off this endless look.Jiang Qiushi rarely maintained his composure. He strode forward and pressed the elevator button for a long time, ignoring the strange eyes of others, and stared at me closely, as if he couldn't hold anything else in his eyes.

"Are you coming up?"

He asked, his voice hoarse.