bad derailment

In the nanny's car on the return journey, Gu Mingsheng couldn't hide his tiredness.

He said goodbye to everyone with a smile on his face, said countless "thank you" and "see you tomorrow" before he took off his business mask, closed his eyes and leaned back on the chair, as if falling into a deep sleep within a few seconds.

"Going back to the hotel?" the driver in the front row asked.

I said, "Yes, slow down, please."

The driver stepped on the accelerator slowly and drove back to the hotel smoothly. The moment the car stopped, Gu Mingsheng seemed to wake up suddenly, and reached out to hold my wrist, his palm was cold.

"......Reached?"

He looked at me in a daze, his pupils were like translucent gemstones emitting a pale light in sleepiness, rarely revealing a little fragility hidden in the shell.

"Here we are," I fixed my eyes on him for a few seconds, lowered my gaze and withdrew my hand, "Let's go down first."

Gu Mingsheng nodded, pursing the corners of his lips and being more silent than usual.

His role in the scene is very important, and he cannot do without the camera throughout the whole process.I didn't go up to bother him. From the set to now, this seems to be the first sentence I said to him today.

I didn't have time to go out for dinner, so I ordered takeaway on my phone.Gu Mingsheng didn't seem to have much appetite, or maybe he sensed that the atmosphere had frozen to freezing point, so he finally raised his eyes.

"Xiao Yao, are you still angry with me?"

The first sentence is the familiar softness, coupled with the already exhausted state, this sentence is more realistic than ever before.

Seeing that I didn't make a sound, he continued to speak after a pause: "I know I shouldn't punch him, but Xiao Yao, I'm not for myself, but for you. He came out of a room with his female colleague, On the road, chatting, behaving intimately, and using the strength of alcohol to touch you, how could I let him treat you like that?"

It's very reasonable, especially coupled with Gu Mingsheng's lonely and guilty expression, it seems that the party who did something wrong suddenly became me.

I tightened my palms, and my nails turned white because they were dug into my flesh, "I told you before that no one else needs to intervene in my affairs with Chen Feng. This is not the first time this kind of thing has happened."

"Am I someone else to you?" He said in a deep voice as if he had been stabbed by two words.

"What do you think?" I felt chills all over my body, and my voice was unreasonably calm, "Gu Mingsheng, are you being too double-standard? I don't care why you asked Xiao Nan to distract me from meeting Du Yuchen alone. It doesn't matter if you and the actress get together to make sideshows and let the audience's imagination run wild. Chen Feng just appeared there by accident, he already looks like that, can't I even care about him for a while?"

Every word is like gravel hitting the ice surface, and there is a loud shocking sound at the moment of cracking.

Gu Mingsheng's eyes were like a broken sharp sword, he forced that edge to look at me, so as to hide the mess behind him.

"...you know all about it."

"If I don't find out, are you planning to hide it from me in this way next time?"

After I finished speaking, I thought it was funny, "Gu Mingsheng, if you really choose him, then tell me clearly, I said we can still be friends again, didn't you already promise me?"

"Xiao Yao, Du Yuchen and I are not in the relationship you think."

He spoke very slowly sentence by sentence, with some moving pleas: "I let Xiao Nan lie because you don't like him, so I don't want you to meet."

This explanation seems extremely ridiculous in Gu Mingsheng's mouth, I really want to ask him why I hate Du Yuchen?But I didn't say these words in the end, I lowered my head and rubbed my eyebrows, and stopped looking at the tired face in front of me.

"This is not just Du Yuchen's problem. From the moment you choose the actor's path, things have become different from before. I know that in order to maintain the popularity of the show and yourself, you have to work with the actress on and off the show. Keep it close. Maybe you can explain that it's acting and it's part of the job, but have you ever thought that when you play the same scene a hundred times, you can really guarantee that you won't do it in a fake scene? ?"

My voice was not loud, but it seemed too much to him, and the room fell into an eerie silence.

Gu Mingsheng was confused, even though his face was still calm and unwavering, I knew he was tense and at a loss, falling behind me in every relationship that firmly controlled the direction of the wind.

He couldn't justify it at all, because everything I said was true.

Everything has a first time and there will be a second time. From the moment he accepted the relationship with me, it means that he can also develop a second time and a third time with others in the future.

This is the despicableness of human nature, one can never resist the temptation in front of one's eyes, even if one knows it is a mistake.

"Xiao Yao..." His voice was hoarse like sandpaper on the table, and he called out my name.

I looked into Gu Mingsheng's turbulent eyes, and let out a long breath, "I've wanted to ask you something for a long time, what do you think we are now?"

One second, two seconds.

The long confrontation was silent between me and Gu Mingsheng, and I heard a strong heartbeat in my ears, one after another, and finally ended with him lowering his eyes first.

"That's what I've always wanted to ask you."

Saying this sentence seemed to have exhausted Gu Mingsheng's enormous strength, and he gave me a warm smile, "Xiao Yao, what are we now?"

I never thought that he would slyly throw the question back, and said after a long time: "I asked you first."

"Then let me put it another way." Gu Mingsheng didn't seem to care about being dismissed by me, and some kind of invisible darkness flickered in his silent eyes, "Xiao Yao, when you said those words just now, did you seriously think about what I was doing?" Where is your heart?"

The sudden jump in the topic made me dull for a while, and I gradually tightened my hands on my knees, and spoke slowly and firmly.

"You are important to me."

This sentence is not mixed with any lies. Gu Mingsheng is my best friend and considerate lover. After ten years of getting along, he is already better than a relative.

My emotions for him are too complicated and too vast, as if all the possibilities in the world have been collected, and the chaos is intertwined.

Gu Mingsheng looked at me and smiled, "Is it more important than Chen Feng?"

I couldn't wait to hear this name, and I was slightly stunned there.

He seems to understand that I will be silent, and he has long understood the meaning it represents. He drank the water in the teacup and gently put it back on the table, looking a little tired and tired of this state.

"Lin Yao, you may not believe it, no one is more important to me than you."

He seldom called out my full name, accompanied by a low sigh into the soil, which caught my heartstrings unexpectedly.

"I actually regret it very much," he said, "I didn't step forward to stop you when I saw you broke up with Chen Feng."

I instinctively asked him, "Why?"

Gu Mingsheng spread out a smile, and the raised curve was as perfect as before, but on this face that moved me, it was a bit uglier than crying.

"If you hadn't broken up, you would never have realized your feelings for Chen Feng, and we could still be together like before. But in your heart, I will always be a little more important than Chen Feng."

The back of his hand holding the cup was so tight that he could almost see the veins protruding under the skin. If he didn't realize it, he continued: "Xiao Yao, your judgment of feelings is too cruel, you don't cherish a relationship at all. Only after separation will you realize the importance of each other. No matter whether the person you have been with for five years is Chen Feng, me, or even Jiang Qiushi, you will not take it seriously. For you, what you can’t get is the best. Even if the other person takes out his whole heart and is so perfect that there are no shortcomings, you will still change your heart little by little until you get tired of getting along day and night. Finally, you meet another person who makes you feel excited, and then find a reasonable explanation for your behavior, Derail with peace of mind.”

The air became thinner with every word he dropped, and my heart beat so fast that it hit my chest until I couldn't breathe. I wanted to refute something loudly but couldn't pull up the slightest strength.

"In the past you betrayed Chen Feng and chose me, and now you turn around in front of me and want to care about him. You made these choices not out of liking and guilt, but because the person you didn't get before was me, and now you He is the one who lost."

Gu Mingsheng stared at me complicatedly, and through these eyes touched the unbearable heart that I hid in the dark corner countless times.

"Xiao Yao, you have to admit," he opened and closed his lips, and spit out words that made me feel cold all over, "You have never fallen in love with anyone, what you love is just to get the feeling of someone, a kind of stimulation .”

These contents are too heavy and embarrassing, as if they want to tear off the last protective film on my body and uncover the scabs that have formed.I heard my trembling retort in my suppressed voice: "You're talking nonsense."

However, Gu Mingsheng still calmly narrated: "If I say, I am willing to quit the entertainment industry from now on, not to see Du Yuchen, and not to play with those actresses. We are together, and we will be an ordinary couple to finish this life For the rest of your life, can you guarantee that you will never see Chen Feng, Jiang Qiushi, or anyone else who makes your heart flutter?"

After he finished speaking, he seemed to have predicted the answer without hearing my answer, so he made a self-deprecating smile.

"Xiao Yao, can you guarantee that you won't cheat on another person like you cheated on me?"

These words fell heavily on my body that had been stiff for a long time, and as the final punishment, it was the final word.

"That assumption can never be true."

I tried my best to find the loopholes in his words, and hastily retorted: "You can't quit the entertainment industry for me, and give up those things you want to pursue."

As if admitting it, Gu Mingsheng lowered his eyes and remained silent for a long time.It was so long that I almost thought he had finished everything, and everything around me lost its voice in silence.

At this moment, I suddenly heard Gu Mingsheng's voice fall again, with a cold metallic sound, buzzing in my ears.

"Xiao Yao, it is impossible for us to give up for each other."

He looked at me deeply, and with one word he took all his strength.

"I don't want to be the next Chen Feng."

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