Brother, where is the integrity?

My name is Yao Lian, and the homonym is for face.

I know very well that I am a bad boy, so when others insult me ​​for having no father and being a wild child, I will not cry and do useless work like my younger brother, but just rush forward with clenched fists, and let them laugh at me one by one The child fell to the ground.

The only thing I don't understand is, why are they crying now even though they were very strong in the beginning?I don't understand, just like I don't understand why my mother likes my younger brother more than me when I'm a twin boy.

The more she behaves like this, the more troubles I cause and the more troubles I cause, just to make her look at me more.What I didn't expect was that what I did did arouse her attention, but the eyes were full of hatred and disgust?

From the moment I was born, I've been wasting my time, never feeling like I've done anything wrong, and when I really realized I was doing something wrong, it was when I was 16.

Flower-like age seems to describe a girl, what about me?Probably the same age as grass.

At that time, I was white and clean, and I looked as cute as my younger brother. The difference from him was that my cute face always had an unruly smile, and my eyes showed frivolous eyes.

Others call me handsome, but I don't think so. Don't we all have two eyes, one nose and one mouth? Who can ridiculously say that they are different from others?

I thought I was normal, but I often received love letters from girls, and occasionally from boys.

I was very curious at the time, isn't there only boys and girls who can be together in this world?What are boys and boys?

I was very puzzled and asked that shy-looking boy, why did you send me a love letter?

"Because, because of Yao Lian, I like you!"

It turns out that as long as you like it, you can be together.

"Okay, I'll give you this right." As I said this, he was ecstatic.

At that time, I didn't know what liking was, let alone how to like someone.

So three months later, I, who was tired of him, broke up with him. In fact, I couldn’t say it was a proposal, because I was like a winner at the time, and I threw down a sentence: “Don’t come to me again, this game is over. It's over" and I left, leaving behind him who was blown to pieces by this sentence.

I didn't expect him to jump off the building, I really didn't expect... Sitting in the classroom and bearing the harsh reprimands and ridicules from my classmates, the strange thing is that I didn't even refute, but I just endured it silently, and then I thought about it. Doesn't match my violent temper.

I went to the hospital to see him, taking advantage of the moment when his mother went out to buy food.

He was very haggard, and his face was paler than ever. I'm really not used to him lying on the hospital bed like this, who has always been shy and blushing.

He said that he was disabled, and no matter how well he recovered, he would never walk around like a normal person again in his life.

He said he didn't blame me, because it wasn't my fault, it was his own poor ability to bear it.

He said he loved me so much that he committed suicide by jumping off a building.

He said a lot, more than I can remember.

I said, let's make up.

He shook his head and said, now that I am a cripple, I am no longer good enough for you, so go away.

Before I left, I asked him a word, why did you like me in the first place?

He smiled, I want to make you happy, as long as I think of you smiling at me happily, I will feel very satisfied.

I smiled and didn't say anything, since that's the case, then I'll be happy in the future!

Even if you are not happy in your heart, you have to pretend to be happy on the surface. Only by fooling yourself can you fool others.

Gradually, I became less and less like myself, more like that silly boy.

No matter in behavior or psychological activities, he is very similar to him, cynical, cute, silly, naughty...

When I almost thought that I was him, a sentence broke it, "It is only right and proper for seniors to protect juniors" This sentence has been echoing in my ears.

I was moved but I was at a loss and flustered, Gong Qingduo, why did you say these words?Do you know that I, Yao Lian, really can't repay such a big favor, I have already lost my heart!How do you let an unintentional person respond to you?

It turns out that in the end I still can't lie to myself, the fake is still fake, I have already lost this game, the ridiculous thing is that I didn't know it all the time.From the beginning to the end, I was just that poor and stubborn child, never changed, then what?have no idea……