come close to me hold me

There is nothing more heartbreaking than reluctantly parting with love, than "it could have been".If it hadn't been for Jiang Xueer's impatient reprimand, if she hadn't seen her girl struggling for three months indulging in her grandmother's dying advice, she might still have the courage to book a marriage contract.

Shouldn't a woman over [-] be more chic, but the word "break up" is like a sharp knife stuck in her throat at this moment, and the slightest movement will bring tears to her eyes.

"The last gift is freedom."

After talking for a long time, the girl and the girl looked at each other in silence, the heart-shaped candle burned out.

It seems that in the darkness of being unable to see clearly, each other can retain some decency and dignity.But An Xun still chose to turn on the light. She was more afraid that she would not see the pain of the girl's forced smile than she was afraid of letting the girl see her in distress.

Jiang Yien was dazzled by the light so that the brows froze, and realized later: "Freedom?"

"Xiaoen, I'm sorry, I lied to you about a beautiful dream. The six months I was with you were the happiest days in my life. What you gave me will be my most precious treasure. What I gave you, you remember Well, it's better... to forget everything. When you see the bigger world, I will not be irreplaceable to you. Maybe... I at least gave you a good starting point, After experiencing me, you will no longer be a child who can be cheated away with a piece of candy. If there is someone more worthy of your love, go for it."

An Xun touched the girl's forehead, his eyes were still full of pity and love.The choking voice, like broken glass, ran over the heart, leaving only the pain that killed people.

"Don't force yourself to grow up for me anymore. If you can't let go of grandma's advice, just let me go."

These words did not meet Jiang Yien's expectations, she knew that An Xun would not be so naive as to break up with her with a one-year deadline.But in my heart, it still hurts so badly that I can't even breathe.

Looking around, there are neat birthday presents from birth to the present, all of which are the tenderness and sweetness that Bingshan Beauty only shows for her.It's hard to admit that I'm not Xiaoju, it's hard to have a home and embrace that can be unscrupulous, it's hard to have someone who truly loves each other...

How to forget, how to let go.

She also understands that before she still chooses to come back after experiencing Qian Fan, everything she says is empty talk.Therefore, she suppressed the thousands of retorting words in her heart, let go of her clenched inner lips, and only asked quietly:

"What if I just want to fix you."

An Xun paused for a moment, and after a brief trance, she just shook her head sadly and helplessly: "My life is hopeless, and I don't have the strength to hold on to a collapsed sky. You see , when it comes to love, I am a person who will fall to my death when encountering a small stumbling block. I will continue to torture myself and the people around me..."

The choking interrupted her speech, and she took a deep breath, which was enough to support her to continue:

"I admit that I can't resist my love for you, and I mistakenly thought that I could really give myself a chance. So I let myself gamble once, but Xiaoen, I have watched you struggle these three months, watched you You're getting more and more mature...I really...I really wish you never met me..."

When Jiang Yien was hospitalized, he always shut himself in the toilet cubicle for two hours at a time, and when he came out, his eyes were always red and swollen.Only then did An Xun realize that her girl refused to cry in her arms.

In the past three months, every time the girl called her An Xun, every time she showed her maturity, she squeezed more sourness in her defense, and finally heard the sentence "I don't want you to bear too much for this sister, I will catch up with you as soon as possible", and completely collapsed.

Obviously it should be moving, it should be gratifying.

But seeing you in pain seems to be more painful than my own pain.

"Xiao En, I know I lost the bet. I can't protect you or give you happiness. I can't lose your life anymore. Do you understand?"

Jiang Yien's eyes were red, and she held back her tears. On her stubborn and tenacious face, no broken emotions could be seen. She waited quietly for An Xun to cry out the despair and helplessness in her heart, and only asked one more question:

"I'm asking you, if I just want to fix you."

It's not a question, it's a statement.

She was no longer in pain, and once again she truly felt how much An Xun loved her.

Except for An Xun, who would love her so much that he would rather be bruised and considerate for her, and who would rather endure the fear of losing again and give her freedom.

It is hypocrisy to say that I will work hard not to love you so much, but I am sincere if I want to work hard not to let you bear the pressure of me loving you too much.

I pretended to be naive, leaving you entangled in nightmares, and I was a child with peace of mind, so that you would still think of the phrase "she can only protect you with her life" on a certain night of tossing and turning.

How can I be willing to let you bear all this.

I can't let go of my grandmother's advice because I know that you can't let go even more than I do.

"An Xun, answer me."

The two short sentences are indeed a pressing attitude, one word at a time, piercing into the heart.An Xun was already riddled with wounds, and he no longer had the strength to be brave. With his chest in his mouth and his head bowed, he grabbed the corner of the girl's clothes bit by bit, leaned against his shoulder, and gradually broke down in tears.

She surrendered, she knew all along, she couldn't do it.

If she hadn't met Jiang Yien, she could have endured that she was an isolated island. If Jiang Yien really left her, she would return to her isolated island and never look forward to guests in her life.

For the rest of my life, let the sea of ​​people go up and down, let the morning glow rise and fall, the cold body will still devote itself to medicine, and the heart that was awakened and left on the island, there is nothing left but waiting.

"How long, I will wait."

"Home will always be there, and my love will always favor you. I will never leave you in life, and I will never leave you in death."

At this moment, the two tenacious hearts completely relaxed and broke the embankment.

An Xun frowned, closed his eyes and sighed, the complex pain repeatedly bit his heart.She didn't want to expose herself completely, she wanted to say proudly:

I won't wait, so you don't have to worry about it either.

But the girl's firmness finally broke her persistence.

"Sister An, don't worry, I will come back. You just need to take care of yourself, I don't need you to look forward to it."

Jiang Yien hugged An Xun, smiled and looked at the fairy-tale world outside the window, weeping silently, but in her heart, she was crying loudly, complaining and crying: I thought... I thought you really didn't want me anymore...

The last two sentences are enough, so many before are all nonsense.What freedom do you want, what freedom is without your freedom.

"An Xiaoai, I don't like this last gift, can I have another one?"

"You said."

What else is not possible, as long as I can do it, I will give it to you.

"I want a landing."

An Xun's eyebrows and eyes were startled, and he withdrew from his embrace: "What?"

The little girl showed a prickly smile, raised her chin and moved close to her face, as if she wanted to kiss her lightly, but she just sniffed her neck lightly and then left, and then looked at each other, her eyes gradually became more charming.

The fingertips slid down An Xun's arm, rubbing the white wrist made of frost and snow, and then falling to the soft catkins of the four fingers, only picking the most slender favor, with obscure feelings:

"We have checked."

"I..." An Xun gasped in shock, freed his hand, and clenched his fist to hide: "I can't now."

She has no strange complexes, and she has never been willing to use that complex to define and vilify women.As long as you love each other, give and take, you won't regret it.But there are too many strange people in this world, and she is not sure whether the people she meets after the girl will not mind the same, even if it is only the purest appearance from the worldly eyes, she is also responsible for keeping it for her girl.

Reasoning aside, she never had selfishness, why didn't she want her girl to belong only to her from beginning to end.

"An Xiaoai, I know what you are worried about, but are you sure that others will pity me and kiss me like you? Are you sure that others will not hurt me? If you don't want me, you are willing to give me my first love Give it to someone else? Besides, I have already given it to you for the first time, I just want a complete one."

Jiang Yien also never thought of taking this as a contract, she just wanted to recall the night at Disney in the future, not only the cold farewell after the fireworks, but also the complete 23 gifts.

"I don't want to recall the gift of 23 years old in the future. It was the freedom my lover gave me before they broke up."

An Xun was silent.

"You know how wonderful that is, how could you be so mean and not give it to me..." Jiang Yien slowly hugged her, seeing that she didn't push her back, he leaned against the edge of the bed and fell into the softness, tenderly Kiss, in the ear, flirting recklessly: "Even if our ending is really as pessimistic as you imagined, I don't regret it if I give myself completely to you."

An Xun was still silent, not daring to open his eyes to look at the girl, his heart was beating like a drum, and there was only one frequency in his mind that was circulating repeatedly:

She wants to love her, she wants her.

"How can you bear it? Is it because I am not enough to fascinate you? If you don't start, I will start first..."

Her little devil, long time no see.

How long the dam has not been opened, and how long the heartstrings have been silent and no one has touched it, An Xun can't figure it out.She only knew that the moment the girl kissed her neck, she was overwhelmed.

This night, she finally gave up her restraint and forbearance, sighed continuously, and whispered to her ears.Clinging to the girl's neck, to embellish, to touch, swaying softly in the gentle spring breeze.

Downhill a few times, dripping with sweat, still struggling.

If tonight is the end, she would like to consume everything she has, to be romantic, to have nothing reserved.

"Xiao En, I'm not enough..."

It seems to be unparalleled satisfaction, and it seems to be an ocean that can never be filled.At such a time of confusion, she still retains the heart to understand the girl, and she can feel the girl's urgent desire at this moment.

It's done, I'll give you whatever you want, so why not give it up, let you ask for it.

With her fingertips, she has slowly approached the spring that she has never favored according to her heart, and her pity made her stop at the door.She still restrained her instincts, stood up, warmed the girl with her arms, and rained softly on her.

It's a kiss like rain, from the forehead to the toe, the picture flashed in my mind, from the first meeting to the eve of separation at this moment.

Wherever the kiss is, tears will be shed.

In the end, she kissed the petals softly like the first night.Only then was she willing to let the crescent moon melt into the sunset for the first time in a real sense.

"Sister An..." Jiang Yien trembled all over, and let out a soft call between his lips and teeth.

"Hey, don't be afraid."

The girl's appearance is fresh rose petals soaked in milk.Her eyes were blurred by the girl's trouble several times, but at this moment, she finally realized that she could see everything at a glance.Every movement, every soft sound, even the unintentional beads of sweat that fell from her forehead made it more difficult for her to hold herself back.

"Baby, I'm obsessed with..."

Forever, are fascinated by you.

The moonlight fades away, and the sun rises again. The exhaustion of frantic play all day is exchanged for a whole night's sleep.

Seeing the sweet and satisfied sleeping face of the little girl in his arms, An Xun finally relieved all the sharp knives choked in his heart, kissed the girl's forehead softly, and whispered:

"Jiang Yien, happy breakup."