come close to me hold me

Jiang Yien looked at An Xun's nonchalant look, with mixed feelings in her heart. She regretted not welcoming her back with a smile, regretted losing her temper with her in a hurry, and the person who never celebrated his birthday still remembered the ice promise he had promised. milk tea.

Distress, remorse, self-blame, happiness, and surprises filled her brain, so much so that she forgot that An Xun had said before parting that she would give her an explanation.

"Sister Ann, do you know 'Miplores'?"

An Xun nodded in response while laying out the bowls and chopsticks, and recalled the words in the book: "It's a picturesque place, and it's a good place to pack your sorrows. No matter which direction you leave, you always face the sun, and there are The breeze blows..."

"You've seen it!" Jiang Yien was pleasantly surprised. Among the many stories she has read, she likes the story of the Land of Never Sleeping the most. In her heart, the magic power of that world is second only to "Harry Potter".

"Bachman's "Grandma's Apology Letter." An Xun replied softly.

She has never read any books. When she was a child, she loved to read because of her curiosity. When she grew up, books became her anesthetic. Jiang Yien would escape from reality, so why not her.

"Sister An," Jiang Yien slightly raised her head and showed her dimpled smile: "Then, let's go to Miplores together!"

The little girl took a step towards her.

The little girl stretched out her hand.

"Together, go to Miamas."

At this moment, An Xun's heart skipped a beat.She knew that these two words were transliterations of Interlingua, Miplores represented "I mourn", and Miamas represented - "I love".

The little girl was saying to her, love?

An Xun really saw his own shadow reflected in those bright eyes, and heard the sound of thousands of flowers blooming in his ears at the same time, and he had the illusion that he was the one who was brilliant.Excited, it turned out to be such a feeling.

For a moment, she almost stretched out her hand.Just pretend not to understand, what can I do to satisfy the satisfaction of this moment, the happiness of this moment?At worst, turn your head and deny it, at worst turn your face and deny others, at worst it will be short-lived, and at worst you will regret it for life.

But fairy tales are just fairy tales after all. Can a woman who is over 30 still believe in fairy tales?Can you bully a little girl who still believes in fairy tales?Can the rest of her life be wasted?

Just like not explaining the truth to the milk tea shop assistant, she can deceive herself, and she can enjoy being in the misunderstanding.But if you are deceived for a while, if you misunderstand for a while, the dream will eventually wake up, you can deceive anyone, but this girl, she can't deceive.She knew that if she let herself go like this again, she would not be able to close the game.

Forgive me, little girl,

If it is destined not to give you an ending, neither can I, cheating you of a beautiful dream.

"Tomorrow morning, I will take you to the hospital to remove the stitches."

"Remove...remove the stitches? Yes, remove the stitches."

After the line is removed, we have to move back, which was agreed in advance.

The smile on Jiang Yien's face disappeared smoothly, like a basin of cold water poured on his head, he was caught off guard by the cold, and his liver and gallbladder burst with pain.She withdrew her hand, and secretly clenched her fist under the table that An Xun couldn't see, trembling, letting her nails sink deep into her palm.

Why, always give me hope, but also make me despair.

Why, always gentle to the bone, yet indifferent.

During the five days with An Xun, there was food, rice, oil and salt, thrills, laughter, and tears. It seemed that many years had passed, so she mistakenly thought that the rest of her life would be like this.I mistakenly thought that the distance between them has also narrowed for many years.So much so that she forgot that this love has a time limit.

It's not her fault, it's because I misunderstood, it's me, I expected too much.

"Then! Enjoy our last dinner!" She forced a smile on her face, her dimples should have been filled with intoxicating sweet wine, but at this moment, they looked like wounds left over from cannibalism.

Lost, completely defeated.

"it is good."

An Xun only felt dizzy, her hands trembled unconsciously, the plate almost slipped onto the table, and it trembled several times before it stopped, just like her heart trembled several times before it finally settled down.

She didn't know why she insisted on confronting her sincerity, and in the end, both sides would suffer. Why she was so stubborn that she would be hurt if she got close to that girl. She didn't know, but she couldn't do anything about it.In the end, she could only sit down in silence, fearing that if she said one more word, she would surrender.

On the table was the same sweet and sour pork ribs, the third sweet and sour pork ribs in five days.The same dish seems to taste different every time. The first time is the taste of mother, and the second time it is not disappointing. This time, what will it be?

Very sweet and very sour.

Perhaps, it is the smell of Miamas.

Sweet and sour pork ribs are not as easy to taste as marinated minced meat, nor are they tender and juicy like medium-rare steak.It requires fine grinding of the teeth to take a small bite. The caramel-like flesh is wrapped around the hardest bones. People with bad teeth will lose strength after eating half of it. Even if someone can eat one piece after another, they will not feel greasy. , but no matter how greedy you are, you can't even swallow the bones.

It turns out that no matter how perfect the sweet and sour pork ribs are, there are parts that have to be discarded.

Therefore, no matter how long the person is in love, there is also a pursuit that she has to give up.

One day, the little girl will grow up and know the world, and she will know what is worthwhile and what is wasted. One day, she will understand that people feel sorry for the cold heroine in the book because the matter has nothing to do with her.But in reality, there are ups and downs in the sea of ​​people, everyone is overwhelmed with self-care, and everyone longs to be loved, so where will there be enthusiasm and strength to soften others.

One day, you will give up on me.

One day, you will forget me.

The following night, both of them were absent-minded, as if they watched a movie together, but they forgot the name of the movie, as if they ate fruit together, but they couldn't even tell whether it was an apple or a cantaloupe.When Jiang Yien was taking a shower, he even squeezed the shower gel onto his head by mistake, and before going to bed, An Xun put body lotion on his forehead before realizing it.

When we met at the door of the room in the morning, both of them acted as if nothing had happened. They simply ate some bread and packed up to go out.On the way to the hospital, there was no words. Anyway, An Xun didn't like to talk when driving, and was focused and cautious. Jiang Yien only realized it now. It turned out that this was also a sequela of her past injuries.

"Sister An, will you remove the stitches for me yourself?"

"Ah."

The girl's back, which came into view for the second time, was white and translucent, with beautiful lines outlined by butterfly bones.In the center is the scar that she sewed up with her own hands. She carefully drew out the thin thread and cut it off. Every cut seemed to be on the tip of her own heart.

The picture of that girl holding a milk candy pear and smiling slightly seems to be yesterday, but the imprint left by this little girl in her heart is so unforgettable.

She also knows that just like wounds will heal and scars will fade, the traces in her heart will one day be erased with time.At that time, even if this little girl would still dangle in front of her eyes every day, there would be no more ripples.And myself, as I get older and my face fades away, I will eventually be in this girl's heart, sympathizing with everyone.

"Little daredevil! I heard that you have removed the stitches! Congratulations!"

Su Wen saw Jiang Yien sitting on the bench from afar, saying congratulations, Jiang Yien reluctantly responded with a smile, uglier than crying.

"What's wrong? Are you in a bad mood? Hey, where's your sister An?"

"She said she has some work to do, so let me go home by myself." Jiang Yien muttered dejectedly, rubbing his feet on the ground twice, feeling lost all over his body.

"Isn't she on vacation today?" Su Wen was puzzled.

Jiang Yien was not in the mood to listen to what Su Wen had to say, and remembered the words he said out of a sudden last night.It has to be said that she does have the element of gambling, but she can also advance and retreat or defend. She hopes that An Xun can understand, but she is also afraid that she will understand.She knew that if she obediently positioned herself in the position of her younger sister, she would receive inexhaustible favor.

In fact, she thought about whether she would be loved like the rescued little girl because she was An Yi's substitute.Yesterday, when I heard Su Wen's description of the dangerous situation, and heard that there was a "yi" in her sister's name, and heard that her younger sister was the same age as herself, she couldn't control the connection.

Involuntarily, she sighed deeply.

"Doctor Su, if you have a crush on someone, but you are not that kind of liking, and you could protect her as a family friend and make her happy, would you still take the risk of chasing her?"

"Chasing, why not chasing? If you don't chase, how do you know that she doesn't like you like that?" Su Wen answered without thinking, she just said that her words and deeds were inconsistent, and her words were chic.

"Then what if chasing her might hurt her?"

Jiang Yien was worried, if An Xun really needed to treat herself as An Yi to heal her wounds, revealing her inner admiration would undoubtedly break her illusions and break her sustenance of love, then Sister An would collapse.

And myself, I will be abandoned.

"It hurts, so it's hard to say..." Su Wen hesitated for a while.

"But! What if she took the initiative to kiss your lips?!" Jiang Yien tried to struggle.

When she was frightened, she had no time to think about romance. When she was putting on her lipstick just now, she remembered that parting kiss, secretly thinking about it, soft, soft, warm... thinking about it made her cheeks flushed and hot, and her heart was revived.

It turned out that she still owed herself an explanation.

Su Wen frowned, and realized later: "You mean An Xun, right?"

Jiang Yien's heart tightened, his lips were pursed into a straight line, and he bowed his head in silence.

"Ham! I said it was An Xun! Don't worry, based on what I know about her, she is [-]% interested in you!" Su Wen assured her again.

"Really?! Does Dr. An like me too?!" Jiang Yien completely forgot about concealment and reserve, just hearing this sentence, he was so excited that his whole body was about to fly, and his heart went from a trough to a cloud in an instant.

"Of course she... wait?! You two kissed?!!!" Su Wen raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened.

Jiang Yien seemed to be struck by lightning for a moment, but he couldn't explain it, so he could only confess, recalling that scene, he hesitated and said: "It doesn't count, I didn't let her go before Dr. An went to the suburbs, she couldn't help it, lightly Just a touch."

Su Wen hesitated for a moment, raised his eyebrows and said with a smirk: "An Xun actually knows how to do such a thing, it's okay, little brother! You're promising!"

"But... maybe she's just pure..." Jiang Yien didn't know how to describe it, after all, the kiss was too short, and it ended before the reaction was too short, maybe it wasn't even a kiss, a real kiss should be longer Well, it should be more blended.

"Heh, is it that kind of liking? You'll know if you try it?" Su Wen folded his arms and placed one foot provocatively, thinking about her tricks.

"How to try?"

"It's not easy? I'll teach you!"

Jiang Yien's face was full of innocence, following Su Wen's waving, he put his ear close to her mouth, but every time he listened to a sentence, his eyes widened: "No, no! Sister An is a decent person! It's not you..." Hastily Raise your hands and cross them in front of you.

"Is she a decent person? You can push her down. Can a decent person steal a kiss from you? Can a decent person take you as an intern to undergo an operation without a family member's signature? Don't worry, the most disobedient thing for An Xun is the rules. When I was in college, I She came back late from the part-time job, and she helped me lie to the student union!"

"Help you lie to the student union?" Jiang Yien was suddenly curious.

"Yeah, I didn't even say hello to her in advance. When I heard that the students would check the dormitory, I thought it was over. I also thought that An Xun was a decent person, and he could come up with such a bad move!"

"What kind of bad move? Come on!"

"Turn on the shower in the toilet, and lie to people that I'm taking a shower!" Su Wen said and laughed again and again.

"Does this person believe it?" Jiang Yien felt that this trick was outdated long ago, but it would be different if it was An Xun, that icy face, the look of telling a lie without hesitation, was so cute just thinking about it, I couldn't help it Pu Chi smiled.

"Believe it! It was Li Min who checked the bed, you don't know, that idiot is so easy to lie! What did An Xun say she believed? Every time she was checked, An Xun either said that I was sick and went to get an injection, or that there was something urgent at home. Going back or something, anyway, Minmin never doubted it! Hahahahahaha..."

Said that Cao Cao Cao Cao arrived, Li Min passed by the corridor, and saw the two talking and laughing from a distance, and just wanted to come over to participate in it, but Su Wen changed his expression when he saw her, and left with an excuse.

"Well, I suddenly remembered that I still have something to do, so let's go first!"

"Oh……"

Li Min paused, and didn't dare to go forward again. All the words she threw out last night were thrown back by her like a joke.This was an ice-breaking move in her long journey of unrequited love, how could it be so easy.When Su Wen approached with a smile on her face, she thought it would be a qualitative leap, but who knew, what happened in exchange was that the man had been avoiding her all morning.

To say that it is too hasty, ten years, is it short?

Jiang Yien was reluctant to go home, and walked towards An Xun's office without knowing it. Seeing that the door was open, An Xun was looking at the documents inside, and it didn't seem like he was busy, so he simply lay down on the door frame and let out a beep.

"Sister An..."

"Why haven't you left yet?" An Xun didn't raise his eyes, as if he had expected it.

"I want to wait for you to go home with me~"

"I really can't do anything about you," An Xun sighed, closed the file, got up and picked up the bag: "Let's go, I have nothing to do here."

An Xun knew that escaping was never an option.

On the way back, she tried her best to slow down the speed of the car. When possible, she even controlled it to no more than 30 miles.In fact, I was very sad. In fact, my nose was sore many times and my eye sockets were moist many times.The unnecessary delay, like her last struggle, is obviously next door, just sending that girl back to the next door, how could it be so far away.

"Since Ji Xiaoyu and Wen Jing are together, wouldn't it be inconvenient for you to go back?"

"It's okay, I won't disturb them. Don't worry!"

"After the stitches are removed, you still need to continue to apply the scar-removing medicine, can you do it yourself?"

"Didn't I always apply the medicine myself? In the mirror, it's within reach."

"I haven't finished eating the snacks at home. Do you want to take them over to share with them? Anyway, I don't eat them, so I will waste them."

"No! When I want to eat, come to Sister An, okay?"

In the empty porch, the voices of women and girls echoed alternately, one part was gentle, the other part was light, full of reluctance and covering up helplessness.

"Then, Sister An, if there's nothing else, I'll go back!"

"okay."

An Xun pondered for a long time before answering. The girl stubbornly retreated so many possible opportunities. She didn't act coquettishly or fight for it. She turned around.

In fact, the little girl just hoped that once, An Xun could clearly and firmly ask her to stay.You don't need to find so many excuses, just say, don't give up, is it so difficult?

It's a pity that An Xun didn't say anything, stayed where she was, watched her turn around, and watched her step by step, walking heavily in the long corridor.She also wanted to say something more, but she had tried her best to think of so many reasons, she didn't say she was reluctant, but she also said she was reluctant, why didn't this girl understand.

She thought, if Jiang Yien wasn't so well-behaved and sensible, if he was a little bit more arrogant, whether he played tricks or threatened, like all ignorant and ignorant young girls, or even forced him to death, she would probably completely surrender and submit obediently.

However, Jiang Yien never would.Never burden her, never drag her down.Therefore, she will never give her a desperate shock.

Jiang Yien, you are so obedient, so obedient to me, there is nothing I can do...

But, she just likes her cuteness.It is because she is so good that she loves her; it is because she is so good that she is reluctant to get close to her; it is because she is so good that she is reluctant to tell her that she is her moon.

She couldn't bear to let that girl down.

Forget it, An Xun.

Forget it...

It is to close when it is good, and to stop the loss in time.

At the moment when she was about to give up, An Xun suddenly received a text message from Chen Nianci, as if a traveler wandering in the misty wind and sand had finally caught a life-saving rope, she called out almost at the moment the girl was about to step into the door her.

"Jiang Yien!"

The girl turned her head quickly, looked at An Xun's bright autumn eyes, and waited silently.

"Professor Chen, let's go to her house for dinner tonight."

The author has something to say: The text quoted in the text: "There is a picturesque place...the breeze is blowing" comes from the novel "Grandma's Apology Letter" by Swedish writer Frederic Bachman.Translator: Meng Huiyi.

感谢在2021-07-0208:35:39~2021-07-0401:05:23期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 19 bottles of concise; 5 bottles of Eros; 3 bottles of Xiao Yang; 1 bottle of Fusheng_Luomo;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!