Specific gravity

"I waited for you to wake up because I wanted to say goodbye to you formally."

Cen Baiyan's words were like a small stone that "slapped" into the lake, causing only faint ripples on the water.

Xuan Zhao blinked blankly. In the first half minute, he didn't have any intense emotions, and his mind fell into a blank.

"Have you had breakfast?" Xuan Zhao raised the corners of his lips, trying to pretend he didn't hear anything, but his voice was trembling uncontrollably, "I'll get you a nursing meal, you want to go to the restaurant It’s okay, just go down and take a walk.”

"I'm leaving," Cen Baiyan lowered his eyelashes and said in a deep voice, "You don't have to see me off, just come here."

Xuan Zhao is like a fool who hides his ears and steals his bell. If he doesn't hear, then nothing will happen.

"Yesterday I bought the ingredients for eight-treasure porridge and asked the nurse to boil it. It should be ready now. I'll go get it right away."

He lifted the blanket with one hand, and was in a hurry to put on his shoes, but the moment he stood up, his left knee suddenly felt a sharp pain, and he knelt on one knee with a "bang", the veins on his forehead swelled.

It's so embarrassing and ugly.

Xuan Zhao propped himself up on the sofa to make himself look less embarrassed, but his leg hurts too much, no matter how hard he tries to stand up, his left leg doesn't listen at all, as if his knee bone has been split in two Half.

Cen Boyan sighed, walked to Xuan Zhao's side, supported Xuan Zhao's arms with both hands, and hugged him halfway to the sofa.

Xuan Zhao's painful lips were trembling, and the veins on his forehead were obviously raised, but he still smiled and said, "I'm fine."

"Xuan Zhao," Cen Baiyan picked up the crutch, put it in Xuan Zhao's hand, and then slowly squatted down in front of him, with imperceptible bitterness and helplessness in his voice, "Let's stop here."

There was silence in the ward.

It turned out that the stone thrown by Cen Baiyan was wrapped with a powerful explosive, and at this moment it exploded with a "boom", messing up Xuanzhao's internal organs and blood.

Xuan Zhao opened his mouth, but his throat seemed to be stuffed with a hard lump, and he couldn't utter a single syllable.

"Before I said that I would settle with you, I was the one who was stubborn. Now I really don't hate you."

Cen Baiyan squatted on the ground, slightly lower than Xuan Zhao who was sitting on the sofa, but Xuan Zhao felt that his voice seemed to come from far, far away, erratic and distant, and he couldn't catch it no matter what.

"Your illness is serious again. You are still so young, so take good care of your doctor. Uncle Gong must find you the best doctor." Cen Baiyan said, "Don't waste your time here."

No one knows Xuan Zhao better than Cen Baiyan. Even though they have been separated for so long, Cen Baiyan can still see through Xuan Zhao's every inconspicuous little action at a glance. His attention to Xuan Zhao seems to have become an instinctive nerve reflex.

When Xuan Zhao is sitting, he will subconsciously put his body weight on the right side; when Xuan Zhao is walking, he uses his left hand with crutches harder than before; every time Xuan Zhao sits for a long time and stands up, his left leg will tremble uncontrollably. Only when Xuanzhao fell asleep would he reveal a trace of real pain. Cen Baiyan would often wake up in the middle of the night and stare at him, and his eyebrows were never stretched.

It was far more than that. The nurse told him that Mr. Xuan often fell down recently. When walking on the flat ground, he suddenly fell down and sometimes couldn’t stand up for a long time. Is Mr. Xuan sick?

Once Xuan Zhao was sitting on the edge of the bed peeling an apple, and Cen Baiyan captured the bruises on his wrist bones. He didn't know how many more such scars were on his body.

There must be something wrong with his health, and a serious problem at that.

"I." Xuanzhao choked with sobs, and then continued after a pause, "I took my medicine on time and had regular check-ups, and I took good care of myself."

"But you can't take care of yourself while taking care of me." Cen Baiyan looked at Xuan Zhao calmly, "You are very busy, taking care of me during the day, and taking care of the school and the company at night. thing. Every time you come to America, how much sleep do you get in a day? Five hours? Four hours? Or less?"

Cen Boyan's rational analysis was like an extremely sharp knife, piercing Xuan Zhao's heart straight, and Xuan Zhao's face turned pale little by little.

"I'll change it, I'll change it."

Xuan Zhao was in so much pain that he was almost convulsed, for a while he didn't know what he was talking about, he just wanted to keep Cen Baiyan, to keep him.

He will correct everything he did wrong, he will work very hard, and he will correct everything.

"You didn't do anything wrong, so you don't need to change anything." Cen Baiyan smiled slightly, "You are the head of the Xuan family now, and you have done a good enough job. Your grandfather has a spirit in heaven, and he will be proud of you."

Xuanzhao was stunned by these words, and there was a flash of water in his eyes.

"You said before that you wanted to be someone like me, but I actually envy you too," Cen Baiyan's Adam's apple moved up and down, "Although I haven't met them, I guess your grandfather must be upright and strong, and your mother must be very gentle." , they all love you."

- Unlike me, I never seem to feel the love of my family.

Xuan Zhao couldn't restrain the soreness in his heart anymore, he lowered his head, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and a drop of water hit the blanket.

"Is it you who helped Yan Ming's family?" Cen Baiyan asked, but his tone was firm, "For so long, you were the one who helped me block all the messy things in the country, right?"

Xuan Zhao lowered his head, couldn't see his expression clearly, and remained silent.

Cen Baiyan paused for a moment, then said softly: "You are the one who sponsored me to go abroad, right?"

He is not a fool, how could he not notice these things.The Wan family and the Xuan family were in a mess, but as the figure in the center of the vortex, he was able to study quietly without being disturbed. He knew that Xuan Zhao must have done a lot of things in places he couldn't see.

"Thank you, Xuan Zhao," Cen Baiyan said, "If you really feel that you owe me something, what you have done is enough to pay it off."

Xuan Zhao's whole body was stiff, as if he had lost consciousness.

The calmer and more sincere Cen Baiyan's words were, the colder his heart became.The knife pierced in his heart crushed his flesh and blood, digging out a big hole in his chest, and the wind passed through the big blood hole, blowing Xuan Zhao's bone marrow cold.

"Stop calling yourself hypocritical and cold-blooded in the future," Cen Baiyan sighed softly, "You are not that kind of person at all."

After saying this, Cen Baiyan waited quietly for Xuanzhao's answer, but Xuanzhao kept his head down, and the blanket on his lap was stained with water stains.

I don't know how long it was silent, Xuanzhao said in a barely perceptible voice: "What about you? Do you still like me?"

Cen Baiyan's tongue was astringent, how could he say that he didn't like it?

Xuan Zhao is someone he loved so much, and he tried his best, but he really couldn't do it.

"I'm telling you this because I'm afraid you'll misunderstand. I didn't reject you because I hate you," Cen Baiyan said in a low voice, "I just... have no way to be with you anymore."

Xuan Zhao could no longer feel the pain, he was like an unconscious puppet, numbly sitting on the sofa, listening to Cen Baiyan's words numbly.

"Cen Jingxiang did something bad, and she has to bear the responsibility for the mistakes she made, so I didn't stop you from taking revenge on them, she deserves it," Cen Baiyan said calmly, "If possible, I don't want to be here I don't want to grow up in such a family. My mother is such a person."

Xuan Zhao picked up the blanket and put it on himself, because he found his body was shaking.

It's too ugly, it's really ugly, cover it up, cover it all up.

"But she is my mother," Cen Baiyan closed his eyes, "She is ruined and poor, it is her retribution, she deserves it, she is not worthy of sympathy, but... But I am her biological son, she is sorry for so many people , but I didn’t feel sorry for me. In the future, when she gets old, I can’t leave her alone, and I can’t just watch her die of freezing, starving, or dying of poverty.”

Cen Baiyan asked himself in many late nights, how could he and Xuan Zhao be together?

What else can they do to love each other without any grievances?

"I'm leaving. I've asked for leave for too long. The professor should be angry." Cen Baiyan took a deep breath and stood up slowly.

Xuan Zhao didn't speak or move. He wrapped his body under the blanket, but his whole body was still cold.

Obviously spring is coming, why is it still so cold?

Cen Baiyan picked up the walking stick again and gently placed it on the sofa, within reach of Xuan Zhao.

"Don't throw it away again." Cen Baiyan said.

Xuan Zhao didn't hear what Cen Boyan said at the end, his tinnitus was severe, and the wind was blowing in his ears.

Judging from the shape of his mouth, Cen Boyan seemed to say "goodbye".

Then, Xuan Zhao watched Cen Baiyan turn around helplessly, and the moment of turning around was infinitely elongated in Xuan Zhao's pupils. He could clearly hold Cen Baiyan with just one hand, but he clearly felt that it was impossible.

Cen Baiyan left, Cen Baiyan didn't want him anymore, he didn't have Cen Baiyan anymore.

The door of the ward opened, Cen Baiyan paused slightly, and the hand holding the doorknob trembled slightly.

Suddenly there was a loud "boom" in my mind——

"You can't live well, and you can't die well."

The words he said once rang repeatedly in his ears, like a jammed tape, screaming sharply in Xuan Zhao's mind.

Xuan Zhao sat quietly, as if his breathing and heartbeat had stopped.

First there was a slight stabbing pain in his left knee, and then the pain spread to his calf, lower abdomen, waist, back, and arms. The pain was like a wave, overwhelming Xuanzhao, and he curled up in pain.

——Life is not a good life, and death is not a good death.

He lied too much, and the only time he swore it actually came true.

Xuan Zhao numbly lifted up the blanket, covered his head, and huddled under the blanket.

I don't know how long it took, and there was an extremely suppressed sob from under the blanket, and the black crutch rolled to the ground, but no one paid attention to it, and was alone.

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